GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #44
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 120 – November 2005)
3rd November, 1973 No. 67
The Goodies were true to their names ... they were good guys generally trying to help people by doing good things (as Bill would say, "How wet!"). The idea that someone would press the Goodies into service by forcing them to do something bad, whether they were aware of it or not, had been done in both the series and comic strip. And yet this Cor!! comic manages to put a new twist in the idea to present an somewhat different story for the cartoon trio.
Header: OUR HEROES ARE GOOD AS GOLD - GOLD ROBBERS THAT IS!
A gangster wearing a pin-striped suit, broad-rimmed hat and sunglasses bursts into The Goodies office, one hand reaching threateningly into his coat pocket as they eye him nervously.
GANGSTER: Are you guys The Goodies?
GRAEME: Er ... yes .. !
The gangster makes himself at home, sitting at their desk with his feet up and cleaning his fingernails with a letter opener.
GANGSTER: Waal ... I want you to be *baddies!* Help me pull some jobs while my gang are in jail!
BILL: Certainly not! We only do goody-goody things!
The gangster pulls out a gun and grabs Bill by the front of his shirt, pushing the gun into his face. Tim and Graeme throw their hands up in the air.
GANGSTER: Oh, yeah?
BILL: Oh, yeah ... I mean ... well, if you put it like that .. !
The Goodies are taken in the gangster's car to a building which is completely surrounded by a fence of barbed wire.
GANGSTER: There's *Fort Knix,* where all the country's gold is kept! And you're going to rob it for me, or else!
TIM: Oh, dear! I just hope my Aunt Emily doesn't find out!
The Goodies get out of the car, Bill carrying a valise. The gangster is leaning out of the driver's side window with a Tommy gun aimed at them.
GANGSTER: Don't come back empty-handed, if you wanna stay healthy!
The Goodies approach the barbed wire fence and Tim reaches out to touch it.
TIM: What are we going to do about this nasty barbed wire?
As Tim touches the wire it literally disintegrates.
TIM: *Cor!!* My mighty grasp's crushed it to dust!
BILL: Mighty grasp ... huh! It's *rusted away* to nothing!
They approach a second fence of wire which is attached to a power generator hooked up to a bicycle. A sign reads "DANGER! Electric Generator 12 v." Bill points out that no one is currently riding the bike to generate the power for the fence.
GRAEME: Look out! That fence is electrified!
BILL: Don't worry ... the power's off!
They reach a large metal door and Bill prepares to go at it with a blow torch.
TIM: I don't think much of the country's security so far!
GRAEME: That was just to lull any thieves into a false sense of security! Look at this massive door!
Graeme barely pushes on the door and it opens with a CRE-E-AK!
GRAEME (to Bill): Put that thing away! It's unlocked!
BILL: Aw! Fancy spoiling my fun!
A couple of extremely old security men come dashing at them excitedly, along with an aged police dog.
SECURITY GUARD #1: Come in! Come in! We haven't had any visitors for ages!
The guards hurry them into the strong room, which is now nothing more than a run down break room. The old men are excited at the prospect of some company. Tim is crying and holding a piggy bank.
GRAEME: Just a minute! Just a minute! We're burglars come to rob this place!
SECURITY GUARD #2: Oh, there's nothing to rob! We've no gold left! But don't tell anyone! It's meant to be a state secret! That's why we're here!
TIM (crying): Oh the shame! The country's broke ... here - take my life savings, it's for a worthy cause!
The Goodies sit down at the small table to have coffee with the guards. Tim, still crying, is trying to pry some of the money out of his piggy bank with a butter knife. The second security guard is rummaging through the valise which Bill brought in.
BILL: Well, at least we won't be jailed for robbery!
GRAEME: But we've still got to face old nasty-face outside - empty handed!
SECURITY GUARD #2: Ah, good - candles! About time we had some light in this dump!
The second guard lights the "candles" as Graeme suddenly realizes the man has pulled two sticks of dynamite out of the valise.
GRAEME: THEY'RE NOT CANDLES!
There is a huge BOOOM! and everyone goes flying out of Fort Knix, which has been blown to smithereens.
GRAEME: Well, that's the end of Fort Knix!
BILL: It's been knixed for a sock! I mean .. !
The Goodies land on top of the gangster with amazing force, knocking the man and his gun to the ground.
TIM: *Oof!* We've dealt that gangster guy a *crushing blow!*
Suddenly a rain of glittering stones falls from the sky onto our heroes.
BILL: Hey! Do you see what I see?
GRAEME: Gold nuggets! The explosion must have opened an underground seam of gold!
TIM: BRITAIN'S SAVED!
Sign-Off Line: The Goodies Return In Another Uproarious Adventure Next Monday!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
IIII - Officially amazing.
It may seem surprising to give a higher rating to a comic which contains so few actual jokes in it but this entry into the series really is different from others in many aspects. First the Goodies are placed in an excitingly dangerous situation and it is handled pretty much straight in the beginning (apart from the standard "Well if you put it like that ... " response on Bill's part). As such the first five panels are not really funny, per se. Once the Goodies are on their own, however, the situational comedy is quite enjoyable.
One thing is that this particular comic really keeps the Goodies in character, particularly Tim. Every line from Tim's mouth is something you could imagine him saying in the series, from his hoping his Aunt Emily doesn't find out about his misdoings to his thinking his "mighty grasp" has disintegrated the barbed wire to his tearful bemoaning of the country's lack of gold and volunteering up the life savings from his piggy bank.
The artwork must also be noted. While there aren't as many small jokes in the margins (at least until the second half) the artwork is deep, rich and very detailed. The gangster's car is particularly well done, as is the action when the Goodies land hard on the gangster. There are a few background things to notice ... when the gangster puts his feet up on the desk he knocks over a bottle of ink (this oddly adds a nice touch of tension to the scene, showing he doesn't care about what he does at all). When the Goodies get out of the car at gunpoint a police bobby is riding by behind them whistling a tune. Again a nice addition which, while funny, adds just a bit more drama to the scene as well. The fact there's a huge gas canister for the blow torch in the small valise is pretty funny. The elderly security guards are both sporting long hair and beards and old-fashioned soldiers uniforms. When the guards push the Goodies into the strong room there are cobwebbed shelves with only a few empty tins on them in the background. A large key is sitting right in the lock of the door. Two mice are helping themselves to some crumbs in the middle of the room. The table also has a mouse on it, plus a spider dangling from a web, many empty tins beneath and an old newspaper with the headline "Kaiser Exiled" hanging off the edge.
As the Goodies have their coffee we can see an old military enlistment poster on the wall behind them. A copy of the "Daily Oracle" bears the headline "Tram Strike Over - Settled By Cavalry Charge." What appears to be a dead mouse is lying on the table. A box of sugar and a can of milk have been opened. When the explosion happens only Graeme's glasses are seen flying through the air. As everyone flies through the air the one security guard is saluting at attention. The police dog is cowering with his paws over his eyes. As the Goodies land on the gangster the guards are landing behind them, as is the dog and one of the mice. The gangster's Tommy gun is knocked from his hand and fires, but the barrel is bent so it only spits the bullet into the following frame.
Overall this is a very effective strip with more situational humour and an ending that pays off nicely.