GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #30
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 103 – June 2004)
28th July 1973
The best episodes of The Goodies usually involved the guys trying to accomplish a seemingly impossible task and doing so in an unusual and clever way. The Cor!! comics followed their lead and presented them with situations best suited for the comics format. The comic we're reviewing this month could have been done by the Goodies themselves, and it's fun to imagine how it might have looked in live-action instead of just pen and ink.
Header: IF THE GOODIES MOVE A STATUE THIS WEEK IT'LL BE A MONUMENTAL ACHIEVEMENT!
The Goodies are putting together a jigsaw puzzle in their office when they're suddenly interrupted by a ghost on horseback barging through their closed front door. The ghost, dressed in period costume, is Ethelfred the Unsteady, who lives up to his name when he bumps into the desk and knocks the puzzle all over the place.
ETHELFRED: They're going to demolish the statue of me in the town square to widen the road ... I want you to move it to another site!
GRAEME: *Argh!* Our jigsaw - bet we'll never find all the pieces!
BILL: *Ooer!* That geezer must be a g-ghostly warrior returned from the past!
The Goodies ride their trandem to the site of the statue of Ethelfred the Unsteady. They have brought ropes and chains with them.
BILL: Coo! Looks just like him!
GRAEME: We're sure going to (need) some horse-power to move *that!*
Graeme walks up to the statue and hooks up a rope to the harness of the horse on the statue as he addresses the others. (Note: Graeme's line above should likely have gone to Tim, unless Graeme has taken up talking to himself!)
GRAEME: *Nonsense!* All we'll need is bike-power ... it's down hill all the way to the new site!
They jump on the trandem and begin pedaling like mad, only they don't get very far. Tim in the front seat is high up in the air as the others try to pedal the bike forward, only managing to strain the ropes tied to the statue.
GRAEME: Take the strain! It will be easier once we get it on the move!
BILL: It's straining the imagination to think we'll move it this way!
Tim is suddenly moving along pretty well and calls back to his compatriots.
TIM: I must admit it's easier than I thought, isn't it, fellows? Er .. !
Tim sees he's now riding more of a unicycle, as his front wheel and pedals have come loose from the rest of the trandem. Bill lays exhausted at the foot of the statue and Graeme looks perplexed.
GRAEME: Crikey! That idea seems to have fallen apart at the seams!
Next Tim carries a masonry saw which he's borrowed from a mason (conveniently located across the street) over to the statue as Bill busily ties the trandem back together with rope and tape. Graeme is resting with one foot on Bill's back!
TIM: I've borrowed this masonry saw - we'll cut it up into pieces we can carry!
GRAEME: And just how are we going to put it together again?
Tim gets to work sawing the statue apart, starting with the rear end of the horse which lays at Bill's feet.
TIM: Easy, we'll re-assemble it like a jigsaw puzzle!
The Goodies bike the pieces over to the new location. They each carry one last piece as they make their way down the hill to the roundabout where they have left all the other pieces.
BILL: This is the last load, we'd better start assembling the statue again on the new site!
TIM: We'll do the straight pieces first!
They work to reassemble the statue, Graeme sticking pieces on with glue. Tim holds up a piece of puzzle and ponders where it should go until Bill takes it from him.
TIM: Hmm, I guess this blue piece must be part of his cloak!
BILL: *No!* Give it to me, I know where it goes.
Bill slaps the piece into a corresponding hole in the sky behind him, much to a passing bird's surprise.
BILL: Anyone can see it's part of the *sky!*
When the statue is completed it doesn't look much like it did before ... Ethelfred's and the horse's body parts are intermingled, making quite a bizarre-looking composition! People passing by in their cars point and react to the odd statue. Graeme sees the ghost of Ethelfred charging toward them angrily.
TIM: *Hmm*, doesn't look quite right, somehow! Suggestions, anyone?
GRAEME: Er ... I've got one!
The Goodies leap onto the trandem and race furiously to outrun Ethelfred, who is chasing after them in a fury.
TIM: LET'S SCARPER!
ETHELFRED: Make fun of me would you?
GRAEME: He seems to be taking a *dim* view of our efforts!
SOME DAYS LATER ...
The Goodies are cowering in their office when there's a knocking at their door. Tim peers out through the peephole to see who's outside as Graeme and Bill cower behind the desk.
GRAEME: Ooer ... we thought we'd lost that warrior king bloke!
TIM: It's not him, lads ... it's some of the local shopkeepers!
A group of Cortown shopkeepers come pouring into the offices, one of them brandishing a large wad of money.
CORTOWN SHOPKEEPER: Tourists are flocking to Cortown to see that super, modern-art type statue you erected ... we're making a bomb! Please accept this reward.
TIM: I'll look after it!
GRAEME & BILL: NO, I WILL!
The money flies out of the shopkeeper's hand as Tim tried to take it and it flies into a nearby electric fan, shredding it to bits.
CORTOWN SHOPKEEPER: Careful ... *OOPS!*
TIM: *Oh, no!* The money's gone into the *fan!* What a *blow!*
The Goodies find themselves trying to piece together the bits of money. Graeme is covered with tape as he tries to tape the bills back together again.
TIM: This bit, sob, goes here. *Sob!*
BILL: I've got Wellington's ear here! And ... when we've finished this, I never want to see another jigsaw in my life!
Sign-Off Line: Our TV Chortle Champs Return In Next Monday's Cor!!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - Goody goody yum yum.
This is a fun comic which really ties the whole puzzle theme together nicely. The Goodies start out by working on a jigsaw puzzle in their office, then Tim suggests they saw apart the statue and put it back together like a puzzle. Bill even puts their trandem back together at one point. And finally it all wraps up nicely with them having to piece together their reward money.
There are some fun background jokes in this story as well. Ethelfred the Unsteady (a spoof of Ethelred the Unready, who was king of the English circa 1000 AD) bears cat faces on his shield's coat of arms (cats are usually not unsteady, but this looks like the same black cat which sometimes makes cameo appearances throughout these comics). The statue is adorned with a fair share of pigeons, some who watch on with confusion as the Goodies try to move the statue. The panel in which they're taking the last load of statue pieces to the roundabout have some funny sight gags: a sign for the M6 7/8 road is a complicated series of lines reminiscent of Prince's new name / symbol, and it includes such verbiage as "British Troops" (with an arrow pointing to one place) and "Throw six and move on to motorway." A sign in the background reads "Cortown welcomes careful drivers" (and of course has a crashed car laying across it). Just before Ethelfred goes after the Goodies a driver reacts to the ghostly vision on the motorway and his hat flies up through the roof of his car!
Some of the jokes are particularly clever, such as Bill placing the piece of puzzle back in the sky and Tim's comment that when they put the statue together they should do the straight pieces first. However the amount of jokes don't quite match earlier comics, and panel 2 has the mistakes of Tim's voice balloon being attributed to Graeme and the word "need" missing from his statement. But all in all this is a pleasant and fun entry.