GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #39
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 114 – June 2005)
29nd September, 1973 No. 62
Military intelligence (or lack thereof) has always been a good source of comedy material from way back. The Cor!! Comic artists had their poke at the Army in this Goodies outing which parodies the excesses of detail which can often bog down even the simplest military exercise.
Header: BE ON YOUR GUARD - THE GOODIES DO A JOB FOR THE ARMY!
The Goodies stand at attention as an Army Sergeant enters their office, giving them a new assignment.
ARMY SERGEANT: You Goodies will report for re-decorating a hut the Army's taken over! The job must be done by noon!
GRAEME: *Yikes!* Then it's time we got started!
The Goodies ride to the Army outpost on their trandem with the sergeant on the handlebars. Bill is burdened with a large amount of painting and cleaning supplies on the back of the bike.
TIM: Coo, this hut is miles from anywhere - must be an outpost!
ARMY SERGEANT: Get stuck in, Goodies! Everything in the Army must be *SMART!*
They reach the one room hut and the sergeant leaves them to their work.
ARMY SERGEANT: Re-decorate it inside and out ... and remember the show starts at twelve!
TIM: We'll never even whitewash the *walls* by *then!*
GRAEME: Leave it to me!
Graeme sprays the wall of the hut with a spray can.
GRAEME: My patent "shrinking liquid will bring the job down to size!
The hut is now even smaller than the Goodies and they have to bend over to work on it. Bill and Tim set about painting the outside quickly, Tim leaning over the roof as he works.
BILL: It's the size of a doll's house - this is child's play!
GRAEME: Be careful, Tim, I don't know how long the effect .. !
The house begins to grow, Tim laying across its roof as he's lifted high into the air.
GRAEME: ... *Lasts!*
TIM: Help! I've gone up in the world!
The Army Sergeant returns to urge them on. Graeme goes to the side of the house to help Tim off the roof, but Tim slides down the wet paint and lands hard on Graeme's head. Bill rushes inside the hut to continue working.
ARMY SERGEANT: Hurry up, there! Time's getting on!
BILL: While you help Tim down, I'll start painting the ceiling inside!
SO BILL GETS "DOWN" TO PAINTING THE CEILING ...
Bill is attempting to paint the ceiling as Tim and Graeme watch from outside but the paint is simply falling off the brush and the ceiling onto Bill's face.
BILL: Grough! There's got to be an *easier* way of doing this!
Bill wipes the paint off his head with a rag as he talks into a telephone receiver, looking out through the fourth wall of the comic panel.
BILL: Is that the Goodies artist? Look, here's what I want you to do .. !
We see the Cor! Comic artist's table and the artist's hands are turning the panel upside down. Bill is hurrying up the wall and onto the ceiling, which is now the floor.
BILL: That's it, Mr. Artist ... keep turning the frame round!
Now Bill can easily paint the "ceiling."
BILL: This is better - I never let a problem *FLOOR* me!
The hut is once again upright as the Army Sergeant urges the Goodies to hurry. Tim enters the hut carrying boxes of wallpaper.
BILL: What about that, then?
ARMY SERGEANT: Hurry, you've only 30 minutes left!
TIM: This is ready-pasted paper. I'll have it hung in a flash!
Tim begins trying to hang the wallpaper but he's getting all tangled up in its sticky back; the sawhorses he is standing on are falling out from underneath him.
TIM: *Grough!* I'm all stuck up!
Tim addresses the reading audience as he brandishes a pair of scissors and a piece of the wallpaper he's cut into a cone.
TIM: I know! I'll roll this spare piece of paper into a cone, and cut finger holes in it!
Tim sits on the floor and plays the wallpaper cone like a snake charmer's flute, the wallpaper responding by slithering up out of the box and onto the wall. Graeme watches this in amazement.
GRAEME: Snakes alive! Whatever next?
The Goodies gather outside the hut to greet the Sergeant with their finished work, only the man is darting away from the building at high speed.
ARMY SERGEANT: You only just finished in time!
BILL: Hey, what's the all-fired hurry?
TIM: Isn't this your new H.Q.?
All of a sudden a series of cannon shells hit the hut, blowing it up into a million pieces as the Goodies cower on the ground. The Army Sergeant addresses them from some distance away.
ARMY SERGEANT: No - we bought the hut as target practice for our gunners - but everything in the Army must be smart!
The Goodies load up their own small cannon and fire off some shots at the Army Sergeant in the distance.
TIM: *Bah!* You're in the Army, so we'll make *YOU* smart!
ARMY SERGEANT: HELP!
Sign-Off Line: Next Week's Goodies Story "Cannon" Fail to Make You Laugh!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - Goody goody yum yum.
This is a fun if simple outing which takes good advantage of illustrating ideas which would be difficult to do in real life (although The Goodies would likely have found a way!). The dialogue is kept painfully simple as are the situations but each of the three set ups given to each Goody works out to a satisfying conclusion. Meanwhile the background sight gags are kept to a minimum. When the Sergeant enters the office the Goodies are saluting and Bill is holding a mop as if it were a gun over his shoulder. When Bill is juggling all the work materials on the back of the trandem a paint can and a brush are falling off the back while the ladder is hitting Graeme on the head. There are a number of items on the artist's desk, including overdue bills, a candle and a broken cup, not to mention a picture of "the editor." Tim is looking in through the window as Bill is painting the "floor" and when the hut is uprighted Graeme is hanging upside down outside the window! The brand of wallpaper Tim is using is called Reddystik. When The Goodies fire the cannon at the Sergeant the cannonball bounces twice off the ground before hitting a tree and ricocheting to knock off the Sergeant's hat. And a mouse in an Army helmet is sitting next to Bill and watching this as it happens.
Panel by panel this comic may not seem to amount to much but taken all together it works into a nifty little parody with a good payoff at the end, which makes it worth a good review!