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bindy's Journal
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bindy's journal
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2006-11-13 01:02:47
Sitting here listening to "Bound For Botany Bay" and just chilin'.

Life has been extremely eventful. I can't believe that no mater what i seem to be happy always.

Can't write muc but would like to say to Jodes HHG is being...sent now.  You were so efficant.  Darn gal slow down I live 400 km's away! WE SLOW UP HERE>  Anywo it is in the post Tuesday.

Cheers all.  I love reading your foums.

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-10-30 20:20:10
Well I still have not got t.v. in room going so still know goodies.  Alas my life is spiralling. No fix is not good.

It is all good though 'cause  have put Dr who on lay-by (trying to reduce credit card debt) so I will have entertainment. Slowly educating flat mate on culture    . First Dr Who, than the Two Ronnies then so on and so forth. 

Life has been its usual full self.  Funniest thing was my going to the gym.  Everyone nearly died of shock when the friend I went with told everyone. They laughed even harder when she told them I made her wait with me while I had a cigarette.  Good job she was not there when I asked the counter girl if they had any coke.  Apparently they don't sell it.  Honestly, who does not sell coke?

Oh, while I think of it! Anyone written a character reference for someone applying for parole?  I have two weeks and although I am a good writer I am not to sure on what constitutes a character reference for a prisoner.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.  He is a good guy and has a one year old baby.  There was no way he was going to gaol so he started a family.  The judge felt differently. 

Anyway, I better go.  Bloody dingo's are on the prowl at the moment and Rasta the dog is wandering around outside.  I don't want to let her in because she has been in the fish pond AGAIN but I don't want her eaten.  I swear she knows night time is for inside so she deliberately jumps in the pond so she can stay out longer.

Mood - tired
Music - T.V. "The Real Mississippi Burning"
Edited - Never

2006-10-25 21:42:15
Well the country is supposed to bring u peace.  Alas, I am built in babysitter (oh and I hate it!) so i have been flat out.

Life has been cruising along with its usual melodrama.  My gal Jazzy's no good boyfriend (sorry he is lovely) is taking her away from me.  As with life I have only got to socialise with her once outside of work and now there is regret for times wasted.  We get a long really well but she is one of the beautiful people and even though people don;t get it I am inviting her out is hard 'cause 'I have a reputation to keep"...

Goodies has been non existence in my life at the moment.  Have not been on this site for a while so that does not help.  Plus T.V. not set up in room so have not been watching DVD's.  yes I have a TV in lounge room and flat mate likes it but I am sure she does NOT GET IT as much as I do.  Ok maybe she does...but NO ONE GETS IT LIKE I DO 

Have decided that maybe it is time to read Douglas again and watch the BBC T.V. version of it just so I can have some intellectual intercourse.  been eyeing of my D.V.D's of Monty but alas, TV is not set up in room yet.  I think those things, things that you feel deeply about are sometimes best watched alone so you can chuckle privately in your own safe world.


more in a couple of days.


Nez, this site reflects life.  Good and bad.  U good and bring joy to my life.  Your stories make me envious (not jealous) that you get to be up close with something i love.  You share in a way that makes me feel I was there with you.

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-10-16 09:23:07
Have not written much lately as my house and life have become extremely full.

Loving the house but still have not unpacked everything.  Every time I come home someone rings up and comes over.  Not that I am complaining.

Went and saw Jimeoin on Thursday night.  Laughed so hard I was slapping my leg. Some guy decided it was ok to sit between kerri and myself and then he spent most of the night trying to chat us up.  I paid no attention 'cause I paid money and i am watching.  When he got the point he then proceeded to yell comments out.  Kerri and I cringed a fair bit.

A couple in front of me had an argument (we're at comedy for god's sake).  I saw the entire thing and was tempted to hit this guy in the head.  He stormed off and the lady looked totally confused.  When he came back he was rude to her and then proceeded to over compensate by laughing ridiculously loud and over the top and everything. I know this guy and he is a total wanker.

Have not had a housewarming yet.  i refuse  do so until I unpack.  Of course this could take a while.  However, on Saturday the girls came over and we sat on the decking and got slaughtered.  Kerri came home so as the others left we kept hooking in.  It was at this point I decided to utilise the fire pit.  With a bit of zippo fluid and our packing box we had a hell little fire.

More girls arrived and then it was on.  Chrissy, kerri, rasta the dog and myself all hopped in the car and went fire wood hunting.  we had no ropes or chains so I rode shotgun on the roof holding onto the wood.

Then paddock bashing.  We drove around and around our paddock laughing our heads off and being idiots.  It was so much fun.

So needless to say I am completely loving it out here.  We spend most of our time out in the garden or on the decking while pete plays his guitar.

Got to go.  People coming over.

Mood - happy happy joy joy
Music - None, everyone is in bed
Edited - Never

2006-10-13 23:20:03
I HAVE A HOME!!!  I have wanted to write since two days ago but I have been so delirious with my new home I have been lost for words...rare I know.  I love my place so much that I would be happy to die in the most heinous way yet still I'd be happy 'cause my home rocks.

The house is good bu that is neither here nor there.  Rasta, my dog, is ballistic happy and therefore I am happy.

I love all and I will be on forums but I am so happy, happy, happy, happy that I may not write in my journal for a while.

Journals don;t always have to be deep and sad but I can't write because all as I have to say is "happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy i.e.    .

This is serenity, bonnie doon.  U are all welcome to stay here. 

Love u all


Rocky is so close. If u need a break I have a few acrres feel free.

Mood - happy
Music - power of one
Edited - Never

2006-10-02 17:40:57
I HAVE A HOME. Total eleventh hour thingy and so much to be done.  So much that if I get busted on this computer I am sure my next home will be a coffin.

Rent is ridiculous but we are on acerage and the house is so quaint. Few little things like batroom, loo and laundry are in one. However, the room is huge and has a wicked funky vanity and a corner spa...ohhh yeah.

3 bedrooms all of equal size so I don't feel bad about my king size bed. It is a squat kind of house but the living space is open and i may even start cooking 'cause I can see the t.v. from the kitchen.

Most of the acerage is scrub but around the house is green grass and there are two water feature ponds, one complete with fish, yeah! There is a massive sunken fire pit and decking alround the house.  I LOVE IT

Rasta (my dog) loves it and went nuts running through the scrub. No yard but she is a good dog.  I AM SO EXCITED.

Work is ok.  I am back on days but I am managing consumables which sux but ohh well.

We are moving all our stuff out of current house on Wednesday and spending wed through to friday at new house coming back to old house for cleaning.  My fantastice terrific frieinds are all coming over wednesday with utes and trucks to help us move.  I think I will cook a bbq wednesday night and shout a couple of cases of beer in as a thankyou then the following weekend have Sunday roast at my new joint.  YEAH.

The bestest bestes thing about our new joint is that is a three min drive around the corner to my besties house.  All my friends live right around the corner. 

Problem with living in the sticks is when I tried to transfer everything e.g. telstra, ergon, austar they could not find the property was it a lot number, what suburb etc.  However, the serenity outways the hassel.

Anywho, off to the Bowen Races on saturday.  we have hired a 34 seatwer bus which will host select friends.  It is going to be a cack.  We always wind up incredibly drunk and dissordially.  It was at the races last year I hoisted my skirt up and usued the urinal as I was busting and it was the only toilet available.  I am all class, no really.
It is going to be awesome.  I even wear dresses to this event.  it is huge on the social calender.

I go to keep packing.

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-27 23:23:57
as usual I will read what is going on but I need to ban myself from comment.  If per chance I comment in anyone's journal please, please forgive me.  For some reasons I seem to be having a wiggidy whack daddy week and can't trust myself to be positive.  No dramas on my end but I know those grandeur moments only mean future apologises....glitch.  I'll be back...
sorry jodes fr my negativity in your journal.  No excuses but know I am sorry.

I'll be back soon...

Mood - happy but aware of grandeur..AM I GOD lol
Music - Doors
Edited - Never

2006-09-26 22:51:37
Please excuse me for a little while. There is a temporary glitch in the program. Currently on the roof trying to readjust satellite.  there maybe an intermediate pattern here and then. Will ramble but usual queer rambling has made way for narcissism. 

Bel shall return...

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-25 01:57:52
:'( :'( As happy as I am most of the time.  Sometimes I can't help but wish I was close to my family.  I can't really think what I did not to deserve there love.  Somehow I got ostracised.  I catch up with them when I get home or should that read mum makes me see them?  There is no hate or malice I just don't fit.  I can't figure out why.

Usually when some one is out of the family it is because they are a bad seed or something.  I've never done anything particularly evil.  the worst I've done is expected to be loved and respected. 

I have the best friends in the entire universe so it is not is if I am alone.  Yet I feel like I am missing something. Like there should have been a fight or something.  I often imagine when people speak to my family and who is in it if I even rate a mention. Oh yeah I have sister!  I mean I am someones sister but I don't actually know what that means.  Sister.  Even the word sounds odd to me.

This all came up because my brother recently moved to Kalgoorlie.  My Uncle and Grandfather are going over there for something and to see him and his wife.  No biggy except they have only lived there for a month and already get a visit.  I have lived here for six years and the only people to visit me are my mum and dad (and uncle and aunty and cousin from otherside).  My cousin on Dads side had their honeymoon in Cairns yet did not drop in to say hello.

I guess I just don't get what is so wrong with me that they can't visit me.  After all I do live in paradise.

They all help each other out yet everything I have (and don't have) I have achieved myself so screw them.  Both my brother and cousin got their starts in the careers through my Uncle yet i started at a supermarket.  I leave university and is shame and an embarrassment yet my cousin quits and it because he does not know what he wants.  Screw them.

It messes with my head though. Still trying to figure out who I am with no one for guidance.  No help from my family.  I rang my Uncle Wal the other day to tell him of a promotion and he asked me what I wanted.  I have never asked him for anything and when I enquired as to what he meant he said I never ring.  Correction!!  I ring a couple of times a year for b'days, xmas and for a chat.  They have never ever rang me.

I would love to know what I have done that is so bloody bad that they don't care about my health and well being.  That I get to be the distant relative. 

As I said it messes with my head.  I mean am I imagining it?  Is this real?  One day I am a niece, a sister, a cousin and suddenly I live in QLD and therefore don't exist?  I am I merely being paranoid? 

That is the hard part.  Most of the time I just let it be but it is always there.  That sense of not belonging, of being cast a drift with none to just accept me for me.

I get scared for the future because all my friends have a great family.  People who care and visit and ring and I have nothing.  On the rare occasion I introduce someone to a member of my family I suddenly don't know how to act.  My family don't know who I am, who my friends are etc and all of a sudden I am lost for words, confused by who I am.

Oh well.  Such is life. Bigger fish to fry such as finding a place to live.  Worst thing is all my Goodies stuff just got packed.  How will I cope?

Mood -
Music - Louis Armstrong
Edited - Never

2006-09-21 13:34:49
Guide to renting in Airlie Beach.  DON'T.  Don't bother getting out of your car.  Don't bother even thinking about it.  There is about 10 houses under the $400 mark.  3 allow pets.  The other 20 houses for rent are over $400.  These 30 rental properties have a couple of hundred people desperately trying to get one of them.  Us included. The houses are old, small and ugly. Some of them look down right evil but still we tirelessly put in applications.  Hell I would live in a humpy if I could get one.

Oh well.  There are worse things in life than being homeless.  Maybe if I am really lucky I will pitch a tent and discover a mother load of jam i could mine.  and if I am really, really lucky I'll find cream as well.  Imagine the opportunities.  i could get a neat little joint and call it the Ok Cafe.

Well i best be off getting ready for work.

Mood - complacent
Music - front end loaders across the road.
Edited - Never

2006-09-21 03:43:55
DOWN but not OUT
My turn.  As when i get sad..aka the black dog barks..I always say 'What goes up must come down".  Happy Bels is sad and fighting of the maniac that wants to Die die die.  Of course, seeing the pain in my mums eyes once is enough.  Curses people caring about you.  I've cut the ties with all but can't cut them with mum she gave birth to me.  RESPECT.  I'm alright mum, I'm always right.  I just sick of the harsh slap life seems to deal me.

I need know sympathy.  I am my usual happy self and there will be lame jokes later.  I am merely rambling...venting...

we apologise for any inconvenience. Normal transition will commence shortly...

Homeless, demoted politely, bugger all bonus, debt ridden, lonely, hating life, die die die....

Happy, happy joy.  My friends luv me because even in adversity I am happy.  Noone sees my sadness. no one sees me struggle.  I am confident, bring me down. 

to those that know me.  Conditioning I have mastered.  I am alive.  I wonder.  I survived but am I alone.  Only 50 years to go.  I'll be right.

No responses please to this journal, I am merely venting because tomorrow I will wake up.  I'll be awake.  i'll be the class clown.  I don't cry.  I just smile.  He he happy Bel.  Nothings hard.

Dear God, I hear-by and forthwith resign from life.  I hear-by quit from my stupid, messed up, crazy unfair life.  i am aware children are starving and...hang on...someone some where just got murdered and yes yes yes...someones worse off than me but i want to be narcissistic.  "What about me it isn't fair"....

My day to day life is Job (bible book) on a bad day constantly.  I've had enough yet I keep smiling.  can someone not see the pain.  People cut me down 'cause I "APPEAR" confident.  get with the program I don't feel sorry for myself.  But 'cause you all do I cop it.  WELL I"M NOT HAPPY. so lay off. 

Whatever!  I'll be happy again after the weekend.  That is of course God, as usual dose not answer my prayers and lets me go in my sleep.

Just because I am alive doe not mean I survived.  Wake up fools, Your life is filled with regular drama.  i can't have regular drama.  i have a bubble and I can't get out.  So please, please, take advantage of my easy going nature.  I like to be punished. i like to have choices made for me. <expletive deleted> life

Whatever, please dont think I just got lost in the shell that surrounds the nut is me.  I am just really, really sick of being the fall guy.  I get it.  My life is meaningless.  The only people that will miss me and feel sad for my demise are my mum and my grand parents.  They got years left so i have to keep going.  Mark my words though.  No offense mum. but the the minute you meet your maker I am off it.  I'll be your princess but surely you realise there aint nothin' for me,  What do I have?  I make people happy 'cause I'm crazy. 

Blah.  What is "The Answer to life the universe and everything". 42.  Good versus evil.  well evil wins 'cause I am sick of fighting.

I want to wallow.  i want to fall.  i want to stop fighting.  No sadness mum but I did raise myself, i want a break.  I want perfect stillness.  No responsibility, no pressure.  Just calm. I want a holiday, I want a break, I want rest from my mind and I want justice.  I want a justice that will never come.  I want memories to be erased, I want to do it again with out conditioning. I want freedom but the choices were stolen from me. I want to be able to say No.  I want real happiness not just survival.  I want intellect to match my ego.  I want peace, I want peace.  God grant me peace.  Enough already for being strong for everybody.  I'm dying, I'm dead.  Can't I be saved or am I just a saviour.

Don't stress tomorrow I readjust the mask.  It slipped but I promise I'll be back.

Sad thing is I won;t break.  I broke once and it was the weirdest moment of my life.  Can't afford to break.  I want to break, i want someone to truly recognise the pain.  I don't want people to judge it I just want them to see it and accept it,  My pain isn't external.  It isn't  superficial it is a conditioned deep, internal self loathing bought on by someone else's  choices.  They get to make peace but i suffer a life time.  I would of made a great sibling, a daughter, a lover and mother but how do I escape?

Enough.  Next entry I will resume normality.  Please, I know, some people will want to respond to this entry but don;t.  It is merely a moment in madness.  A burn at the stake crime.  Sleep will be deep tonight, waking will be hard.  I may take tomorrow off as facing the world maybe hard.

Life is a condadrun and tonight I am the enigmatic centre

Mood - GUESS
Music - a thousand thoughts...SHUT UP
Edited - Never

2006-09-20 01:13:56
everyone seems to be panicking around me about the concept of me being homeless.  I welcome it.  A house is merely bricks and mortar.  Really whats the worst can happen?

Been pretending to be into this moving stuff and have managed, in two weeks, to back three boxes. 

Really who cares?  Life has a way of making lemonade out of lemons.  Bring it on i say.

The only drama I have is being sucked in by everyone else's negativity.  Grant you I appear to be lazy but when the chips are down I's ok.

Alright, got to go.  Building my cardbox so it is cyclone resistant.


Mood - scared of panic...Am I only th calm one?
Music - T.V and yep, fish tank needs water
Edited - Never

2006-09-19 11:34:20
Short entry as i am off o work.  Ahh work, how I hate it.  Some chick went spasticated at me the other day because I made her feel dumb.  The fact she is has nothing to do with it.  I believe no one can make you feel dumb.  If they are smarter than ask questions, feed, learn, increase your knowledge. Anyway, as after a very still anger from me I have, as usual, decided to take the high road.  i will be humble even though every ounce of my body wants to smack her and suggest she remove herself from the gene pool.

Still homeless.  New owners want say whether they are renting out or moving in. This brings the word BAsTARDS to mind.  Serious houseing shortage here and it is becoming increasingly likely that we will have nowhere to live.  Two weeks and counting so if you don't here from me it is merley because i can't get internet connection to my cardboard box.

OK,  toodles.


Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-13 11:28:54
I may dissapear or become less frequent (will see) as I have to find somewhere to live and have to sart packing.  I have decided that this site has bcome an EVIL time sucking addiction that I just can't seem to break.  Everybody has such wonderful stories but unfortunatly I can't move in with you.

As such, in the next coming weeks you may see less of me.  In order to resist the temptation I will be wondering around my house bemoaning having to move but listening to The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy radio play.

So never fear (or perhaps fear) I'll be back.


$5 says I'll be back on here when I knock of tonight. 

Mood - anxious
Music - guitar hero - playstation
Edited - Never

2006-09-12 03:39:33
I am not an artistic person.  Not witty, nor intelligent, can;t spell and grammar?  What's. Yet I decided to share with you a story I wrote about  life and history ad future and stuff...well here goes...

I didn't' choose to live here, low in the valley. No I didn't. It wasn't my choice but still I made the best of it.  I laid my roots and spawned a many a offspring.  We were the last of our kind.  Free and born naturally.  Many like me me had been enslaved, forced to build houses, or fires for our masters and we sacrificed for the greater good of man.

For years we lived safetly from the eyes of accusing man, we grew in number and spread throughout the land and over hills and plains, through hot arid climates to snow covered earth. We survived in harmony with nature. In love with mother nature.  we grew and adapted to our surroundings.  We nurtured our children of the earth.  We cared for the soil and provided homes for the animals and food for the plants.

At night we looked at the southern Cross high above us and during the days we whistled in time with the wind and played with the Kookaburras.  By God we were free.

Then it came one morning.  Low in the valley I heard the first high on the mountain scream. The painful scream echoed down on us all.

Day after day, hour after hour, more of our kind are forced out.  Our strong and brilliant breed slain merciless on the battle fields. 

I stand still and tall as the leader of the metal army marks me. Marks me with the execution cross.  I stand proud. I grew up here, survived everything mother nature threw at me.  Survived floods, fires, droughts, disease and the enemies within. Yet here i stood marked. It was time to move on. Make way for progress and mini malls.

The smaller, weaker ones were forced out their broken limbs torn from them, disembowed and lain to waste.  Hundreds, thousands killed without thought. Hacked as murder spread across the land.

The men with their metal army carefully and meticulously picked of the smallest of our kind.  It was precision execution. Mass genocide.

I still stood tall. Proud of my heritage, of my freedom. I watched as the seasons changed and new families, not natives like our kind, took possession of our land.  There I stood, a silent protester marked with a bright red blood cross. Marked for termination.

Most of the killing, raping machines left.  They had won the war. A man measured me up and discussed with another man my value and would I be useful. I heard the death bell toll and the weapon roar to life.  They pushed it in my side and I started to bleed, cool, soft, thick blood. The man stood back and yelled "timber" as I crashed hard to the earth that had fed my roots for hundreds of years....

The animals have died and the new trees planted, the non natives, have sapped the soil of nutrient leaving it salty.  Their leaves don't rot and feed the way the natives did...

I wrote this five years ago when wandering through the forest behind where i lived.  That  Forest has since gone, made way for apartments.  I know the story ain't good (i'm not artist) but I live in the Whitsunday's for jah's sake.  Whitsunday's aka Noosa welcome to our paradise made on money. 

i am not a hippie or an environmentalist or anything but please keep this place beautiful.  Have we not let the rich spoil our beauty.  we live in paradise and we don't even have recycling.


airlie beach

Mood - Sad 'cause I serious. happy 'cause life goes on.
Music - Frank Sinatra
Edited - Never

2006-09-12 02:41:02
With the exception of a few in a lot of current journals we all claim to be mad woman.  Well I think you are normal people. So, it is at this juncture that I think that we are the normal ones and everyone else is mad.

Once again the minority has made us feel bad for being normal. But have no fear i, Bindy, will not tolerate this.  We are NORMAL and PROUD  aka NAP.  So I here by proudly call myself a N.A.P... I must point out to the minority that this does not indeed  stand for "Not Another Psycho".  Ohh no sirree, ridicule if you must but us N.A.P's stand not so tall and proud. I will not be judged on  simple minority things like A-Part-Height. These are silly judgments. I have a friend who has be know to make giant kittens so cute and cuddly that would rival kink kong so careful minority.

What most people don't understand is that through appropriate gender education we can use natural selection to rid the world of those minorities, those so called normal people

So stand tall like a jockey. if I am elected I here by promise to give you the lift to the horse.  I promise to treat this like I treat smoking!  With the bold but simple words that strikes fear to the minority    "I am not a quitter!"

Consider me like Braveheart..baring my all those that say we are mad.

To fall is but human. To have a friend who will laugh at you and call you a git is devine.

So stand one and all and laugh at your fellow humans.
Life is but fleeting,
laughter is but life
friendship is but trouble and strife.
and and...ohh sod off....lets just laugh at each other.

Lot's of love

The increasingly mad normal

(drum roll please)


Mood - Reflective...I think I'll do a dble post!
Music - Let me guess...Yep, fish tank
Edited - Never

2006-09-10 23:40:45
Firstly, I'm on notice to move out of my house.  With the extreme current housing shortage here it may be the caravan park.  Which isn't too bad 'cause than I can pull out my trailer trash shirt. 

Someone has been spreading vicious and un solicited rumours about me.  I believe this to fall into the realm of slander. 

So to clarify a few points I AM NOT MAD nor am I a fish.  I am merely odd but not dangerous.  I admit being half way to eccentric  but to get there I need the money.    And I admit I may be part fish.  I come to this conclusion 'cause I am always up to my eyeballs in the drink. 

Glad we cleared that up.

Four weeks notice to move out.  Got letter, walked inside looked around and thought "insurance job".  I own a lot of random crap, how the hell am I going to move.  Evil cackle.  "Build a bonfire, build a bonfire, lets burn the house down".

Managed to drag myself off the couch twice today.  Once to get food and the second to get dvd's.  Slept through the DVD's and now I more awake than an insomniac on a coffee binge.

I did promise myself that with this awake time i would do something very grown up such as organise a search party for my bedroom floor, rob a bank to pay my mounting debt, rearrange the fridge magnets to hide the grot etc.  But noooo!!! That all seems like to much fun and we can't have that.  Being a responsible adult is not about fun.  It's about chores.  So here i am writing in my journal.   

Speaking about chores.  As it is cane season the local mice have made residence in my house again.  The snakes that follow I can handle.  The mice I can tolerate.  But when the snake is in the house i get worried.  So a new chore list has been drawn up.  sure kills humanely (or snakely) relocates the snakes and I entertain the mice.

This is working well.  However, the other day when I was playin I'm the dumb human and the mice where singing "who's afraid of the big bad human. Not me. Not me" and chanting "you can't catch me" i decided to throw a shoe.  Honestly, who throws a shoe.  Well i did and clopped the little blighter square on.  No anyone who knows me knows I have a problem with killing things (even cane toads) so imagine my horror as I watched this mouse twitching away.  Big bad belsy had to call bestie to get her man to come around and remove it  .  Every time I walked past it I had to put my hands over my eyes as it had become blatantly obvious that in one careless instant I had become a murderer.

I think maybe subconsciously I am awake because I am afraid the mice will turn.  They will seek me out and gnaw at me until there is nothing left. I think I even heard three giant mice might make an appearance.

People make me laugh.  As my hair today decided it had enough of being its usual fuzz mess it thought it would be nice to go really, really curly.  And since I don't believe in caring I went to the shops.  "What have you done to your hair" people chorused.  "It's very big isn't it?" I think they were concerned but for some reason i thought it was a joke and went "ha ha sucked in I don't have to look it at it. He he ha ha".  They gave me an odd look and ushered their children behind their backs b4 making a quick, yet polite, exit.  He he, people make me laugh.

It is at this juncture I would like to remind everyone....

"There is not an ounce of evidence to suggest life is serious"

One day I am going to die.  I don't know when and I do seriously hope I go to the grave flat out, sideways, with a ciggie in one hand and a glass of red in the other.  I'm going to die.  Yipeee 'cause i ain't dead yet so there is more craziness to be had...."whats that liver?",  "You think your dead already?"  "no, no my friend you are merely pickled"!

I have decided (just then) to sleep on the couch tonight.  See, my theory is, I'll get up first thing and do stuff.  Really important stuff.  Like go and get the certifiable stamp rubbed off my head.  I hear lazers work for that. If only I could find a teaser. 

well, I think that is it.  For now 

I seem to be off, over there somewhere.  I think I Saw my plot and marbles over there conspiring against me.  Must go and investigate.


Mood - Jovial
Music - Gurgling fish tank...for something new.
Edited - 2006-09-10 23:45:18

2006-09-10 15:52:39
I would love to know what goes inside my own head.  somehow, somewhere, sometime some crazy fool thought it would be a lark to wire my brain to my mouth whilst skipping any filters.

So family, you know I love you all very much and i have always been the wild child or blacksheep. 

See it was Lovey's 30th last night so had a corker night.  i came home at about 2a.m. Nothing to do so i thought hey "I haven't over analysed anything for a while" and so the rant begun. Soon as Shawry got home it was back to being my usual crazy self.  Our poor neighbours had to listen to John Williamson's "True Blue", "Old Man Emu" and other tasty selections of australian including slim dusty and kevin bloody willson's "Why won't Rolf Harris Just F* off Die"

So, hmm, thats it really.  i am hiding out here because some inconsiderate soul won't get of "MY" couch.  It's Sunday, its MY couch.

I'm off now to hunt down some of Bill's music.  Trying to stay awake and hoping someone will deliever me a plate full of vegetables.  I'm very hungry and would really like some vegetables.  Might have to settle for string.

Mood - to blah to have a mood...I'm lost. where am I?
Music - T.V and yep, fish tank needs water
Edited - Never

2006-09-10 02:20:49
danger, danger
Seriousl!  Danger, back away.  I make no apologises, this is rambling. Yes I ramble but tonight I seem to have moved from crazy to simply my compass is brok' I'm going that way.

Keeping up is not an option I lost me on the last bend u got no hope!!!

Commence ramblings....

I am simple.  I used to be confussed and tried to please everyone in my matrical family where grandad was gm for BHP a couple of decades after it was formed, I'm the only gal and i should've been married at 20 and poppin out the chidlin's. Through this I fought to appear smart.  I am simple.  For all my theoligal studies (so I ccould argue with ma+pa) throught studying  teacubg and hence psychology etc. I have come to the conclussion that I am simple. 

Yet my friends come to me for all the answers.  I give them my answers and they put me up high and go she's smart. I am simple.  Emotions aside life is logical or not. 

I'll trade my so called smarts (I'm a good actor) for their ability to have a family, to have children, to have peace without always fighting to proove myself.

Where did I go off track.  The war raged, a tongue got peirced, the body tattoed, the rebellion raged and while I was busy fighting the family suddenly got me and loved and accepted me.

Unprepared was I.  A while of peace and I suddenly realised I couldn't like these people.  My family.  I fought so hard in to make my own mistakes, to be a woaman in a mans world and they accepted, hell respected and understood the war I raged against them.  But all though I got what I wanted.  WHO AM I?

The war ended and still they could'nt bring down the berlin wall for years.  That was an entire country.  My war is over but whom am I? One person to bring down a wall.  Who am I under this over occor, smart, independant exterior? 

I scoff at my friends.  Love is a chemical reaction created in the brain when two peoples phermones happen to conclide with the nose. Love and manogomy is a sociatel function to breed and go forth.  Could it be that I've felt I have  had to earn my love rather than been givin it? 

Why is it that I can love to the poit where I am being manipulated and trampled upon yet I can't let myself be loved?

Honestly, my fight or flight rador is off.  I could pack up and leave the best poeple I've know in the world in a heart beat (and have) and never or rarely speak to them again.  This times different though.  I am god mum. My boy needs my love. 

Maybe people have needed/wanted me but I refuse to see it and it has taken my besties baby boy to force me to accept I don't got proove a thing.  He loves me.  He does not understand i word i say so I can't talk whinge or philosaphise....

lucky for anyone to read this incoherant whinge I have to go.  Happy Bel needs to be here SURE is here and as I am an infaliable person heavens forbid I need to be a little bit deep....As SURe is reading...yes you sure reading over my shoulder...I better bugger off before you accuse me of beingshawry is a legend...I wish you guys could be here.  Shawrys home, drunk as all hell but I love him and all my friends.  So whinge aside. I got my family.  Right here in Airlie Beach.  me and the gang oblivious to the world...

Mood - happy now.
Music - ben harper
Edited - Never

2006-09-09 02:42:04
Have been very embarrased about Lurve entry and being dying all day to come home and delete.  However, if I can't be honest in my own journal and not worry so much about what I feel and what is in my head well how can I truly live.  "A person who stands for nothing, falls for anything".

Won't say anthing else tonight because I need to be very very still.  I'm in my bubble and it is safe in here.

Mood - Alright
Music - Convey, Kriss Kristofison..Luv the movie
Edited - Never

2006-09-09 02:37:17
Now I am not giddy the quote sohuld have been

"you'd better be prepared for the's unpleasantly like being drunk"
"what's so unplesant about being drunk"....At that moment the bottom fell out of Arthurs mind. His eyes turned inside out. His feet began to leak out of the top of his head...etc...and when he came too he said..."I'll never be meen to a gin and tonic again"

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-08 03:27:29
I can't say much for fear my mum may get who I'm talking about and for fear he is reading....darn said to much.

all as i will reveal, which my mum knows, is that so many suitors and i push them all away.  Darn past trauma.  I promise mum, I am making an effort.  five years have past and he is still keen and I am my usual 'I don't do long term". 

You wish people would understand your wall but they do, perhaps it is you who does not understand your wall....hmm third person, not a good sign.

O-mi-god.....he just said he'll come to Thailand with me.  Which means he'll think about.  Excuse me while yippee around the house.

Can't write anymore, it won't happen.  He is Mr Cool, hot Aussie surfer and I am stereotypical ughies, trackies and comb?  Comb my hair, make up are you crazy?  Pretty girls over there, real girls...right her baby.  No high maintenance.  You goin' surfin so am I.

Got to go. Having conversation with said man now, which as always will turn into phone conversation about me moving to be with him, which will result me getting scared and not talking to him for a few months....

Break through, I just told him that. 

Ok, making idiot of self, going now and denial tomorrow will be swift.


This always happens when I talk to said man.  What is this?  emotion? 
  "It feels like being drunk."
  "Being drunk".
  " Yes, ask a gin and tonic"
  "I'll never be mean to a gin tonic again"

ok not exact quote, sorry douglas adams, but you get the general.

Leaving now.

sorry zaphod but he is talking, I'm giddy and my babel fish is drowning in mush.  I'll do better next time or you can throw me off a fleet of battleships...

Mood - giddy
Music - none but yet I have my headphones not me!
Edited - Never

2006-09-07 02:00:51
New Avatar - hey I am impressed i figured it out in the first place.  Lets face it for an Admin manager the net is something I use to catch bait fish with.  Secondly, distortion is an issue can anyone tell me how to fix it?  My face being distorted is cool 'cause i ain't no oil painting but Bill's face?  In distorting his face I have committed sacrilege.

Second thing - I forgot so lucky for you not having to read and not so lucky because ....wait...sucked in I remember.  I got the opinionated badge.  Which in life is extremely true but in the world of the weird wide web hardly.  I am intimitaded and quite often want to run of and hold myself ranting 'I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot".  Shh insecurities showing...   

Darn this internet think I feel more threatenend by people I have never met.  I need my (random object), ohh here it is!!!

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-06 02:43:56
Oh mi god!  I know I am slightly deranged according to most but I just can't take nights.  At half twelve I cracked it left which effectively means tomorrow I shall surely be hanged, drawn and quartered.  All this is leading to certain madness.  AND mum I am certain it is genetic.  I am turning into a bitch who can't seem to rain in her mouth.  I am loosing control.  Help me!  There is a hole in my shoe and it is letting in water, letting water.

After my riveting (he he) journal last night where I was off to  I some how managed to drag myself off to bed when I heard the kookaburra's laughing at me and when the household was up heading to work...I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!

However, my new interest in my computer, which realistically equals NO ONE IS UP TO ENTERTAIN ME, has introduced me to a new world.  I watched "Lose Change 2" last night and I am convinced everything in the world is fake and the only safe place in the world is inside my bubble.  Don't panic people!  With the certain destruction of the world I will be posting applications and invitations for a select group of people to join my bubble.  Number one rule is that I am to be treated with respect.  Yes, Yes, I am odd but I am not dangerous.

As usual house is all silent.  I am slowly making my way through those cask if wines kindly donated to me.

My endeavours to get my car fixed took an unexpected turn.  Mark will pop in tomorrow to have look.  According to him it sounds like the master cylinder.  No shit Sherlock!!!  A simple O ring and she's a goer but i can't get that darn bolt off no matter how many men I batter my eyelids at.  Of course dad is very helpful telling me to "Cut it off", apparently that's how they make them.  Of course I fear the retribution when I accidentally cut the bolts to the manifold and drop the engine on the road.  No  RAA Premium gunna get me out of that!!!  Sorry Pa, not being mean but I's ain't that strong and short of an air compress with drill I JUST CAN'T DO IT.  You still love me don't you? 

Anywho, I see this panning out as another man coming around going "Ohh master cylinder,  just take this bolt off".  No crap and if I was strong enough I would loosen the sump, change my oil, tune it with me little light on the radiator, jack the shockey's up so she don't drag, remove the spoiler and re-seal loosen the manifold, bolt and tackle the engine out, remove the front seats and whack a V8 in,  use my PC to reprogram the immobiliser, whack hubs on it and convert to a V8 4drv, put jet engines on the side of it with engageable pontoon floats along with jet fighter wings, make it run on vegie peels and call it KNIGHT RIDER.  I KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT, I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT BUT I CAN'T.  Darn it as much as people do not see it I am just your ordinary, everyday WOMAN.  And yes dad , now I know that Dora the datsun did not have a hydraulic gearing system unlike my super Frank.  This is why I was very happy with Ambrosious the camper van.  Simple to fix and a bed and kitchen = no drink drive plus Bacon and eggs after a hard night!!!

It jacks me that I know whats wrong, I know how to fix it and still I have to humble myself and accept help.  Not my strong point and I don't know hos to stop that evil trait.  I figure God gave me the brains and knowledge to do but not the strength.  This is all to teach me a very mean lesson in humility.  The worse thing is housemate SURE has arranged this mechanic intervention and I am already wondering what he wants...

Anyway's. hump day tomorrow so I am half way through another mundane work week which means very shortly I will only have 1 year and nine months of pegatory to go.

God Bless all I am off to reaqaint myself with my big beautiful bed.


Mood - Annoyed at a mundane life
Music - Weird al - Bob the builder
Edited - Never

2006-09-05 03:13:25
I guess the buzz today is Steve Irwin's death.  As much as flammin' galah he was he was a dinkum ANZAC. In terms of putting Oz on the map he was the modern day Rolf Harris.  So respect for he's conservation and tourism and work and condolences to his wife Terri and his children Bindy and Bob.  Thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Needless to say Nrth Qld was a buzz with the death of their favourite son so work this afternoon was solemn.  I saw the barefoot bushman and he just shook is head.  I think it is safe to say it is a tragedy.  I got in trouble because I was not as upset as everyone else but sometimes I think just because they are famous does not mean they can't die.  I didn't know they guy so it is no more tragic than any other untimely death that occurred on the world today.

Once the buzz died down it was back to work for the week.  It is only Monday and already I have clocked up 5 hours over time.  I was that bloody desperate to get the work done that I somehow managed to lift the equivalent of my own body weight.  Unfortunately my neck is killing me and i think I need a good lie down.  Bet I still get yelled at tomorrow.  Kind over these nights and even the thought of one year and ten months left does not cheer me up.  If you spend 15 hours a day at work it tends to become your life so if everything at work is miserable everything in your outside work is lousy...hmm can I sense a bit of depression coming on?

Dinner last night was good.  Good to have everyone over.  I think final count was 15 so not bad for a girl that can't cook.  Although I am curious as to why every couple brought a cask of wine.  I know have four left.  Mental not to self "stop drinking people are watching."

It is cane season so my house is infested with mice again.  Flatmate stix is away for 13 days so will look at borrowing a snake. Can't do it when she is here she wigs out.  Tried to convince she should get a cat but apparently she has a pet already.  I have to remind her that Rasta is my dog and although I have her trained now to chase the mice she don't catch and kill. 

I won't use ratsak 'cause I am worried Judd the stafi will eat any dead mice since he eats everything else, including the weed killing poison.  Traps are ok except Stix and I won't empty them.  Something about the sight of a dead mouse being worse than watching them run around your house and make their home in your stove. So snake or cat are the only options.

Oh while I remember.  Jaz if you remember can you do my dishes for me?  You know that cheesecake I had in the office today.  Well at half 2 in the morn' I did not much feel like washing so the plate is in my intray under some paper work.. You do the dishes and I'll think of a good reason why my paperwork has cheese cake on it.  There is a good girl...remember authoritah!!!

Ok well I better  even though it will take a few more  .  So nightie night shaz


Mood - borderline panic
Music - I have my headphones on but forgot music
Edited - Never

2006-09-03 21:11:56
Shhort entry.  Excuse mistakes.  I cooked roast for 20 people. Now they won't bugger off.  As my computer is the steroe I a sitting here listening to heavty metal while a b unch of tradey's bopp or bang around my house.  Heeeelppp!!!

Mood -
Music -
Edited - Never

2006-09-01 01:35:56
1 year amd 10 months
Count done has begun.  I should have known no matter how much money they throw at me nights just does not work with my psyche. Grant you to all and sundry I am weird to begin with but I perceive myself to be quite normal, everyone else is simply weird.  But nights, ooh nights!  It is mind numbingly boring work that requires muscle but not brain.  Me no use brain me start to live inside head.  Seriously, this alternative world I have created can not be healthy.  I think I am starting to enjoy it more than my real life.  Of course it helps that in my "Walter Mitty" world I am incredibly rich, but not superficial, I am explorer, an entrepreneur, an inventor, I am loved but humble, I am intelligent ooh and I don't have to work.  Must use brain for something useful before I end up nutty again.  I hate nutty it is scary. 

Big trouble tomorrow.  Locked the shop but forgot to lock an easy access internal.  Hope no one breaks in between now and...hmm shouldn't give out hints.  Mind you it is blowing a gale so I am sure an alarm or ten will go off.

My port night has not repeated tonight I get home and there was choice.  Yeah,  alcohol!  It is surprising how much I need a drink now I work nights.  You know you got to unwind and quick because it all starts again in a few hours....who am I trying to kid I am always drinking?

I love Aussie land but it is not fair that the UK get all the Goodies action.  I have been reading nezangels journal and she is all over the shop enjoying them and other great comedies.  Mind you she thinks Adam hills is funny so hmm!!  I know the Goodies came here but living in North QLD can be a bit hard.  And worse thing the Doc got to meet them and she is not a mad fan like me.  She got her man an autograph and did not get me one.  Where is the love Doc?

My goodness it is really windy.  It is a bit late for cyclone season but I never get to see the whether report.  Are we expecting a cyclone?  Real Estate agent tried to ring me today hope it wasn't to take the sail down.  Who knows I might take off and get a free trip to Bali.  Neat!!

Been reading Lonely Planet in regards to my trip to Thailand.  My gal pal who is joining me is bringing her boyfriend now so look at solo's just in case it gets a bit lovey.  We all know how much I hate lovey.  Love is a chemical reaction created in the brain when two peoples pheromones connect.  There is no proof love exists.  He he, whatever, you are all delusional.  And don't give me that crap it will happen for me one day.  It is all crap and    He, he!!

Nothing changes I am still talking crap...

Back to Thailand..keep up if you can...Gal pal suggested i should take Wax.  "Hey Wax, you live 8 bazillion miles away wanna come to Thailand with Gal pal who used to work for you.  Hey it will be neat..."

Poor old Wax I love him dearly and I miss him so much but going to see him sucks because I feel as if something is expected of me.  He is Mr hottie or as I call him Slut Boy and he is so totally out of my league.  Yet always feel like I am supposed to be chillin' with him all the time givin him crap for having all the kiddies love him.  It is hilarious.  Each generation of 18 year olds throw themselves at him.  He is so the perfect guy he is just chillin looking for a good woman.  I think that is great because he deserves the best.  This guy has a heart of gold.  If all my hot friends were not spoken for i would so Be marrying him off.

It is so windy.  Any moment I am expecting not to be in Kansas anymore.  Best find my ruby slippers just in case hey.

Anywho,  as usual I could ramble on about life according to Bel for ever so I should bugger off. 

Nightie night shazzy.


Mood - strangely high
Music - weir al and still I can hear the wind
Edited - Never

2006-08-31 03:09:29
bah blah
well desperate times call for desperate measures.  I worked very late today (as you can see it nearly 3a.m.) and I was gagging for a glass of red or an icy cold beer.  Imagine my horror when I could not find the wine cask upon my arrival home.  I hastily searched everywhere including under bed, hey! This is me we are talking about.  No alc-mi-hol.  Cursing myself for not drinking spirits I removed them all from the liquor cabinet in search of a secret bottle of red.  Hell I even contemplated grabbing one of the beers of the front lawn that has been sitting in the North QLD sun for 2 weeks and adding ice.  Back to the liquor cabinet and there in the back a very very dusty bottle of port.  Hmmm reminds me of my childhood...sorry dad how was I to know it was 50 years old I was only 10???  Anywho, I cracked this bottle and if anyone knows my wine glasses they are buckets.  So I poured myself a bucket and here i sit determined to finish it.

QUESTION - Exactly how much and often do I have to drink to be classified as a an alcoholic?

Had a big spac at work.  The older I get the less likely I am to suffer fools.  Especially when the morons in question out age me by twenty years.  My god we work in a department store IT JUST AIN'T THAT HARD. I hate two face people.  Say it to my face it 's not that hard.  Problem is they got in trouble, I wasn't there so I was a good one to blame.  To bad I walked in and heard.  How quick they ran when I enquired what they meant. Oops the lies caught up with them.  Surely they realise I document everything as per company policy so BITE ME.  All as I can say it is enough to turn a pacifist violent.  I tell you sometimes it hard to be perfect    He he, jokes!  (I am not really joking Jaz, you know I am perfect and thou shall respect my authoritah!)

News on my black tongue.  Sorry mum, apparently I am slightly under nourished and apparently only eating when someone cooks for you is not a good idea.  The eat every three day thing is resulting in my tongue going black.  Some circles, yes you doc, have implied that perhaps I should change my evil ways and become healthy.  NOWAY, the black tongue is a cool look and I can tell people it is my new tat.  They wig out, its great.

A quarter of a bucket to go...what else!!!

Flatmate stix is off home next week so she is lending me her car.  So I will pop into the mechanics and make enquires about my car, Frank.  For those not in the know my car is called frank because it is a sonata.  I have promised Frank I will treat him so well when he is well again.  poor car. Ooh well i have saved on fuel walking to work.  But realistically walking along the main road at 1 a.m. probably is not good especially as I have my ipod on and can't here those lurking mean people. 

I am supposed to go camping again this weekend but as punishment to myself I am not going.  Frank must be fixed and I must sort out those boring details of life like buying houses, paying bills, budgeting...ahhh I hate that word!  It is my attempt at being responsible.  Must hide playstation and not buy beer....hmm have car, have bottle shop.  Darn it!!!

Bloody port, sip, sip, sip...good job I can talk under wet cement with a mouthful of marbles hey?

If anybody has read anyone else's journals you will notice that most on the Goodies Rule site seem to love Tim and Graeme.  WHAT ABOUT BILL.  My god every boyfriend I have had has shared some semblance of Mr oddie. I find myself having to limit my Goodies watching because I lament to much that I was born in the wrong era and Bill is just to...unattainable.  Not fair.  I mean Tim and Graeme are great, smart and funny but Bill is just so darn hot.  Hot and funny with that hint of vulnerability.  Darn it I need a cold shower!!!

The godson is coming over tomorrow so I should get some rest.  I liked it better when he couldn't walk.  Darn my bestie for having a child. Life was so much easier b4 he came along.  Ok so he is a fantastic, beautiful child and I would die if I couldn't see him every day but that's not the point.  We are too young to be having kids.  And the entire process of birthing is just NOT RIGHT. We are modern society there should be a less painful way.  Pregnancy is overrated.  and breastfeeding, hey call me daisy.  Sorry mum, I just don't think it is me.  I'll adopt an 18 year old if it makes you happy.  Or I'll move next door to you and I'll look after it when it is being cute.  Hmm, children.

Ok, Port is finished.  Night y'all.


Mood - Jovial
Music - Weird Al
Edited - Never

2006-08-29 01:36:02


silly me just worked out why my mate calls my dog "Rasta Watermellon".  I am 87% it is from the goodies ep where bill and graeme go punk.  I think!

Mood - Not caring
Music - Fish tank
Edited - 2006-08-31 02:06:26

2006-08-29 01:33:27
Yeah! I managed to wangle a paid day off work! This was achieved mostly by stomping my feet and pointing out that in my mind I am  a "bloody dead set legend".  This was fantastic because early Friday I left for camp and did not return until Monday.

However, firstly (yes I am starting a sentence in that manner 'cause it is my flammin journal and I can) this week has been most dramatic.  Although I revel in drama I usually exaggerate and take the pi$$.  Yet this week, well, I was well and truly miss grumpy which is not like me at all.  Let me begin and to quote Julia Andrews,

  "Let's begin at the very beginning,
  a very good place to start..."

SCENE 1  -
Rasta the cattle dog cross   

                Judd the white Staffi

Rasta lived a peaceful life being loved by her master bindy and all her friends.  Oft around hypothetical discussions of Bindy's untimely demise there was much a fray as to whom would inherit the ever obedient and loving mongrel.  Rasta truly was the ruler of the roost.

Then one day...

(pause for drama and foreboding music)

Along came a cute as a button white with black spot staffi.  Much ado was given to the naming of the new little man and as a brindle staffi and a black staffi had previously be named bundy and cola it was suggested this white male should be called "on ice".  After many days of living with no name it was decided, for no particular reason, this new addition should be named Judd.

There was concern at the house on regards to Judd's whiteness (sic).  A breeder had mentioned that they donk white ones on the head as they are prone to a fatal disease in this hot QLD sun.  Promises where made by owner SURE to slop sunscreen on the young man but alas these promises where empty....

audience sighs!

Within weeks the dog was red from white head to black tipped tail.  Hair was lost and we feared he would wind up dead.  Discussion were had, arguments abound but as he was SURE's dog all was not acted upon.

Weeks passed and although Rasta and Judd were friends the age difference began to show and rasta became an inside dog.  Judd was young and wanted to play all the time.  He was disobedient and chewed all in sight.

Tensions grew as why one is in and one as out but you only had to see the poo.  Judd was out alday and came inside simply to defecate.

Then mysterious things at foot.  Judds neck started to bleed.  Big great gaping wounds with no apparent reason.  SURE blamed rasta cause cattle dogs go for the neck.  Poor rasta not to play in her own yard for months to come and ridiculed, persecuted in her own home.

Then months on the wounds did fest and housmates and friends did detest.  It was decided at what ever cost this poor beast to the vet he does go.

Mystery solved simply mights nothing to do with judd and rastas fights.  A simply tablet and injections to boot and the dogs health would be good to boot (o mi god I think I am going crazy...oh well to finish the story...)

Actually....I am not finishing that story 'cause it really sucks.  The ending is Rasta was not at fault, Judd is healing and that is the end of that.

Darn it I need to go camping again.

Mood - confused
Music - as usual fish tank!!!
Edited - Never

2006-08-23 00:44:49
I am responsible.  Honestly I am.  An entire month has passed and I have not paid one bill, done hardly any chores around the house, organised one thing for my trip to Thailand or even thought about what my plans are for tomorrow, or the next minute.  I think it is all due to me wanting to be more like my dog Rasta.  She is a good dog.  She sleeps all day until I get home then she is entirely responsible for herself.  She lets herself in and out of the house by herself, she feeds herself, she entertains herself and she is a very very responsible dog.  And really thatís all I have to say about that.

Actually, to be honest with everybody I don't have anything to say at all tonight. I know, rare, but you should all be grateful that I am not yet delusional.



Mood - Bored
Music - Fish tank....still. Will someone put some water in
Edited - Never

2006-08-22 02:05:22
Hello Possums!

Here I am at 2a.m. sucking the last drop of red wine from the cask and pondering what to drink next.  To my dismay upon my arrival home I discovered that the beer fridge was not only nearly empty but switched off.  WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING???  As housemate stix is still at work and housemate Jak Johnston would never ever I have decided to blame housemate SURE.  Luckily for him it will be a week b4 our ships pass and by then I will have quenched my thirst.

Weekend was spent entirely on the couch.  I was not sure that was possible but I did manage to achieve it and only left it to powder my nose and on Sunday morning to fetch the paper.  I slept on it friday, laid on it all saturday, even laid it out and shared it, then monopolised it all sunday where I nana napped and eventually slept on it throughout to Monday 4a.m.  At this time STIX got home from work and I had a few drinks with her b4 retiring to my bed after a hard weekend at 5a.m.  Nice one sista!!!

Of course this couch therapy was not productive to the important matters of fixing car, looking at property, washing, eating etc etc.  Oh well there is all ways next weekend.  No wait, camping next weekend so I will not be moving from my camp chair!!! Alas, it sucks to be me!

In other exciting news I have a black tongue again.  Yep, she is black as black can be and noone can tell me why.  Showed sporty who is a health nut and works at the chemist.  She proceeded to drag me around the chemist and show all the pharmacists because she is convinced I am dying and if not my tongue is.  Personally I think it is neat and it scares the crap out of everyone.  Yeah, fear.  After much "You should go to the doctors" crapola the consensus was reached that that was never happining because I am far to busy to be bothered with the such trifling things as health it was decided that I should gargle betadine. Now I remember this stuff going on dads leg when he had all those pins and I was pretty sure that ingesting this would be kind of dangerous and perhaps the best course of action was to drink white wine. It was at this juncture that I learnt you could get a betadine to gargle.  I asked if it tasted gross, to which was resounding yes and I tried to make a hasty exit.  But alas I now have betadine under the assurance that my tongue will go another funky colour b4 returning to boring old pink.  I hate pink.  I nearly got away without it because I pointed out that you couldn't take it when pregnant.  To which congratulations was offered but being honest  I had to respond "I'm not pregnant it just says u can't take it if u r".  Anywho, since my diet and nothing has changed if anyone can offer insight into my black tongue (nothing rude please my mothers reading) I would be greatful.

Its only Monday so first day at work after weekend date with the couch.  Already I am close to foetal position. on top of the 20 that arrived friday there where 15 more.  I was most pleased to see the arrival of two pallets of fire chimney heater things because as we all know North Queesnland is expecting severe snow storms this summer.  luckily for us we now have an abundant supply of electric blankets, heater fans and of course two pallets of chimney things thus all meaning we will not suffer the same fate like our distant cousins did in the last ice age that hit.  And to cap it all off I am getting another 22 pallets tomorrow (which is 2 day).  Fortunately there is still room up my butt for all this and when the xmas stock comes in in less than 3 weeks I shall be able to stick in my front bottom.  Ohh the joy.  Shall have lengthy discussion with big boss 2 morrow although conveyed all I just said to her in an email at 1.30a.m.

To Sel aka DR. yes you are old and yes your brother is way old so I guess there is no point moaning about  it and instead you will just have to keep being a georgraphist (like that word?) and categorising all these social demo graphical thingys so that you can at least feel wise in your old age.  Me, I am reduce to playing Buz on the PS2.  And I'm good!!!
But I'm young regardless of the grey hair.

Anywho all I am off to watch the Goodies Tasty Box and dream about that guy Armi James of Miami Ink so TTFN


Mood - sleepy but thirsty
Music - bloody fish tank!!!
Edited - 2006-08-22 02:08:03

2006-08-19 01:51:29
So tired and over it.  Just got ahead at work an then load is late. Cool I reckon only 8 pallets.  19:30 and 20 rock up.  I may be only a lowly store worker but I got good enough grades in math at school to know 8 ain't twenty.  Not such a huge issue 'cause it has to and will get done but annoying 'cause I just got dock cleaned up and now I am behind again.  Not to mention it is mid August there 4 xmas will arrive now!!!  Darn working! My rich absent man better rock up soon cause I's loosing faith.

Short entry tonight because I am tired and must be adult 2 morrow and organise to get car fixed.  Hate grown up stuff 'cause I ain't know good at playing victim but like being tough!!! OXYMORON!!!!!

Went to pub tonight, first time in yonks because"nobody smokes here anymore".  Good night but secret (ok not so secret) crush was there.  He is Bill Oddie meets Jack black.  laid it on the line to him ages ago but Proeserpine boy to good for me and scorned my advances.  Now he is into it and I am lustful but once bitten twice shy. So pretty reflective and blah so should really go to bed b4 I expose my weaknesses.  Darn being a woman.  Emotions are so overrated.

More when I have banished wasted estrogen fuelled emotions.  Off to watch He-Man



Mood - Borderline melancholy
Music - Bang snoring, fish tank gurgling...sounds of life!
Edited - 2006-08-19 01:57:28

2006-08-18 03:31:21
Twice now I have typed entries and twice now I have been told I need to log in.  I AM LOGGED IN ALREADY. Jeepers don't these guys get it. ME type entry = Me DRUNK.  Remind me to send a letter to the editor.

Ok - twice I need to recap....

Trying to recap entries briefly is hard because we all know I can talk under wet cement with a mouth full of marbles.  So here goes....

Firstly,  Jassie Jazzie Jas!  Hullo! black pudding on your head coming your way.  Seriously dude, big pond allows you more than one account so get your own because quite frankly how am i suppose to complain about your boyfriend in emails if he reads them. Ok grant you you never complain about him but that does not mean I can't.  Fair enough I have never met him but still I work with you all day therefore I know you So i can complain. Lets not forget I was your boss therefore I know you, I spend alot of time with you therefore I own you. Respect my Orthorata!!!

Secondly, to my gal Sel.  So not calling you Dr now you have finished your thesis cause I's called you tjat forever which is how long it has taken you.  Seriously proud of you.  This gets you out of having a real job and when you've won the Nobel prize I get to laugh and reminse when u had a real job at hat German Caf'e. Ohhh 3 days...I'm is so proud.  Honestly, though, I AINT'T calling you Dr 'cause the novelty has worn off. Instead, I shall call u mum in anticiptation of a child!!!!

Thirdly, ravinghardcore whatever!!, I will mention u  from time 2 time. But out of respect of the something beautiful  we had I shall refer 2 u as...let me think...nuff nuff.  Because I had enough enough of you and you had enough enough of me. Seriously dude, i am stoked for u but what where WE thinking? I mean do you know who the GOODIE's are. Do you get them? Kudo's though dude I put up with you, you put up with me lets put those 2 years down to RED WINE.

Anywho, all so much to tell all but this is the second entry I've written tonight, first one being time out, so NO MORE FOR U

Mood - Jaked @ being denied
Music - still gurgling fish tank accompanied by dingo howl
Edited - 2006-08-19 01:12:25

2006-08-16 02:52:47
HULLO...did u say hullo!
"Did You say hello?"
"No, I said hullo, actually"  (Labyrinth)

To those that no me, G'day!
I figured that since I suck at group emails, phonecalls, catch me ups, letters and any general way of letting you all know I am alive I would keep a journal under my favourite GOODIES.

Of course we shall see how well this progresses because as we are all aware I am notoriously hopless at everything i put my mind to e.g being a responsible adult, being mature, take pride in my apperances, looking after my dog, paying bills, calling when I say...hell living in general!  Sucks to be me.  NOT

Background...reading so many emails from my technologically gifted friends I decided a journal would keep you all informed and it would save me individually responding.  As we all know, me responding requires a certain amount of achol (usually Red wine, Banrock station Cab Merlot...cask) so rather than me being drunk everynight please refer to this journal for weekly updates of "LIFE ACCORDING TO BEL".


Yes I know I am a tad narcissistic but i am aloud to be as I am the youngest and i am a girl!!!

Mood - Tipsy
Music - Fish tank needs water it is gurgling
Edited - Never

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