Index

» Introduction
» Tempting Targets
» Loony Logic
» Wacky Wordplay
» Ratty Rants
» Crazy Concepts
» Wise Words
» All Quotes

101 CLASSIC GOODIES QUOTES

(by Brett Allender – August 2006)

When thinking about what makes "The Goodies" such an enjoyable and entertaining show, it's generally the memorable visual images that first spring to mind – giant kittens, monster cods, Ecky Thump rebellions and bunfights with tomato sauce just to name a mere few.  This is perfectly understandable as these images do tend to jump out of the screen (or on top of the Post Office Tower!) and nearly all of them are backed by Bill's distinctive pop/comedy music, which is another essential element of what puts the "good" in "Goodies".

However there is another real strength of the show that is often understated but deserves equal credit – the verbal humour which takes on so many different forms.  There are the witty puns and wordplays, the clever satire, the humourous celebrity character assassinations, the strange sayings, the bizarre logic and kooky ideas that the storylines create, plus some things that don't fit in any neatly definable category.

Unlike most other TV shows, "The Goodies" doesn't have a single neat catchphrase which provides an instantly recognisable and unmistakeable link to the show in the minds of the general public – "Goodies.  Goody Goody Yum Yum" from the opening theme is probably about the nearest thing to it.  Instead there are literally hundreds of phrases and sayings throughout the entire run of the program that are a unique and essential part of "The Goodies" and have been much loved and frequently repeated or paraphrased by Goodies fans as part of their general conversations for the past thirty years or so

In an attempt to showcase some of this great verbal humour – especially for fans who haven't seen some of the Goodies episodes for many years – I've made a selection of 101 key Goodies quotes for your enjoyment.  These have not been rated or ranked in any way (only listed in order of episodes in each category) and indeed I could probably put together another 101 Goodies quotes of similar quality without too much difficulty, but I believe that this selection covers most of the main quotes that Goodies fans would like to be able store away in their memory banks for the right occasion.

So "pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off your billabongs" while you "take a butcher's at this lot", and next time you sigh "If only I had a Goodies phrase book …", you really will be able to add the "… ah, here's one!" bit to the end of it after all!

The quotes are divided into the following categories, accessible from the index menu at the top of the page:

* Tempting Targets  (Quotes 1 – 17)

Character assassination of the Goodies' main targets: people (eg Rolf Harris, Tony Blackburn, David Frost, … and Donny Osmond!), places (eg Bognor) and others (eg Radio Times)

* Loony Logic  (Quotes 18 – 27)

Making the impossible sound sensible – eg towing Britain outside the five mile limit, virgins with beards, buildings without doors and windows, poisoned arsenic, etc

Wacky Wordplay  (Quotes 28 – 52)

Clever-clogs misuse of words and phrases with humourous results – eg jingles, earlobes, careful aims and Lavatory Meadows, just to name a few

Ratty Rants  (Quotes 53 – 70)

There's nothing like a good temper tantrum, panic attack or burst of megalomania to provide some memorable quotes – from pirate radio stations, soccer matches, Wacky Wales, lighthouses and all sorts of other places

Crazy Concepts  (Quotes 71 – 92)

Anything goes in a Goodies storyline – hit parades with only one song, giant bagpipes spiders, shepherds pie recipes, unusual scout badges and many more

Wise Words  (Quotes 93 – 101)

A miscellaneous assortment of interesting things from Grand Master's wise sayings to "a load of old cobblers", "turps for burps" and even a few unusual Australian expressions for good measure.

All Quotes  (Quotes 1 – 101)

The entire collection with just one click of the "cheeky bloody mouse"!