Graeme's favourite colour is brown. I cannot tell you how chuffed that has made me. I've never known of anyone else whose favourite colour is brown aside from me. I know it's really stupid, but so am I.
Saw Broken Arrow tonight. Not the Christian Slater/John Travolta - don't say his name, I hate him! - film, the Jimmy Stewart one.
Watch it. It's fantasic. It's got a fantastic ending - a bit sad but mainly good. And he's just indescribably gorgeous!!!
It has obviously now been far too long since I had a) a boyfriend and b) a Tim cuddle. Not even in that order. A girl needs to be cuddled and I have nobody to supply me with on-demand ones. It's quite frustrating at the moment.
Speaking of which - I wasn't being hypothetical all that time ago.... I am actually in love with my best friend. But, whether for good or for bad, I have decided to say nothing. For no reason other than I love what I have with him too much to want to change it. I did make the slightly cunning move of surreptitiously finding out his feelings for me before coming to my decision, and he's not averse to the situation.
"YOU FOOL!" you're all screaming at the screen. "GO FOR IT!!!" you're yelling. No. See, the real problem is that because of my wholehearted hatred of Love and all things associated with it - if ever I'm going to get into a Relationship with anyone, then I am in it for the long haul. I'm thinking in terms of til death do us part stuff. I do not want to put myself or whoever I end up with through all the hassle of falling in love for it to go pear shaped after a couple of years.
I love my best friend too much to ever hurt him or want to hurt him - but self-preservation is the name of the game here, and I want to hurt myself even less.
And as I'm ONLY looking for something that can only be described as a lifetime investment - I wouldn't ask anyone to be foolish enough to try spending all eternity with me. I've had my heart broken once before and I'm not in the market for it to happen again. I get too attached too easily.
So, it's the only logical conclusion. But I'm not too worried.
I just need a cuddle, really...
Any volunteers???? Any ageing posh blonde men from Buxton named Tim?!?!
Mood - Cor I'm Knackered!
Music - Just the tapping of keys on keyboard...
Okay, so I'm a young, common, brunette girl from Girvan called Kirstyn, but I can cuddle. Is that good enough? You know I'm always here. (Okay, so not physically, but in spirit and stuff, you know?) And well done on the job stuff. Spev, my dear, you do rock.
Yes, that's it - be as lonely, miserable and aching for love from the person you're obviously made to be with as I am!!!!! Ending up like me isn't all that bad - except maybe for the excess tonnes of fat, crippling self-loathing and general hideousness...!!!
For heaven's sake - go get 'im, Tiger!!! (*grurrr!*...?!?)
We give good advice!!!! So pact time. My trip to Thailand is in March. He made very polite, ambiguous suggest (my heart went heeehaaahooo bop beep thump and my brain went ahhhhhhhhhh run away, run away!!!) So. Lets throw caution to the wind. In the 5 months b4 I see him for our trip me and u get courage, accept that this could be a good thing and if it results in pain we hold our heads high and realise life is not about how far u fall but how quick u get up.
And if we do fall we run very quickly to the GROK and wrap ourselves in all things Goodies.
P.S I bags Bill
P.P.S I am listening to Glenn Miller In the Mood and thinking about Jimmy.
Now look here I am ageing, I am blonde but i'm not a fella and my name is not Tim but I am prepared to dish out a couple of hugs ....are you in the market ((((())))
Not_A_Megalomaniac
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