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Not_A_Megalomaniac's Journal
Back to Not_A_Megalomaniac's Journal
2006-10-28 07:40:09
Right, the full story...
Not_A_Megalomaniac

Well it all started on Sunday morning when Peej knocked on my door while I was halfway through tidying me bedroom.  Literally.  I just left it there and took Peej out to help me find an outfit to wear for that evening.  I'd had something worse than a wardrobe crisis but I don't know the term for it aside from chronic obesity.

Found some clothes, bought sweets for Jess, went to pick Jess up from the station.  Came back, had a picnic lunch in my room, introduced Jess to the Man From UNCLE and the vision that IS David McCallum.

My nephew came over, we took him to Clue.

Jon Naismith came on and told the famous Condom Joke.  He introduced Barry and Graeme (Graeme was wearing brown cords, oh yes, and a gorgeous royal blue shirt.  He looked absolutely hot to trot), and then Tim and the guest, Jeremy Hardy (Tim was wearing his favourite blue jacket and a blue and white stripey shirt.  Phwoargh!!).  My first words were "I love you, Jeremy, please sing to me!" and then, after Tim telling the "I met an older lady outside..." joke, Mr Naismith introduced Humph.

Humph, bless him, had a cold and was coughing and spluttering the whole way through the show.  The poor love. 

The show was dangerously funny.  You know when you laugh so hard and so much that your face hurts and you just end up being totally exhausted?  That's how I was after the first recording!!!

I booked my nephew's ticket a bit late, so he had to sit quite a way from me.  I think he was glad about it because I did laugh stupidly loudly.  I was technically on the front row, and next to a microphone, so if you hear any filthy explosions of laughter when Humph says "Swanking" - it's me.  Or Jess.  But if it really does sound like a disgustingly perverse laugh, it's me. 

I don't know what to tell you all cos I don't want to spoil it for you.  But the first show is aired on 13th November, and the second one  presumably on the 20th.

After the show, I had decided to go and get some autographs for my brother - I think I've mentioned this here, it's no secret, but he's in prison due to my lying evil manupulative bitch of a sister-in-law who has systematically decided to ruin not only his life but the lives of their three children as well.  Anyway, he's a massive fan of Clue so I thought it'd really cheer him up if I got him an Uxbridge English Dictionary and got everyone to sign it.  Didn't realise till afterwards he's not allowed to have any books sent into him unless they're bought from WHSmith and sealed.  Damn.  Anyway.  So I goes and gets all these autographs.  Not off Jeremy though cos he made a quick getaway.  But anyway, I met Barry, who was totally lovely and cuddly (I didn't cuddle him but he was a cuddly looking type), and VERY SHORT!!!  Crazy.

Met Humph, asked him if he was feeling okay after nearly coughing up an entire lung onstage.  He was much better.  Phew.  A true gentleman.  I love Humph.  I want to adopt him as my grandad.

Saw Graeme.  Conversation went thus:

SPEV:  Hiya, Grae!
GRAE:  [goes towards SPEV, says IN SEXIEST VOICE IMAGINABLE]  Hello, you...
SPEV:  It's lovely to see you again, it's been quite a while!  Erm.. er.  Oh, can I have a cuddle please?
GRAE:  Oh yes of course you can!  [induldges in gratuitous cuddling scene with SPEV.  Not exactly a cuddle, more of a Holding In Arms Sexily]
SPEV: [mid cuddle]  Gosh it's been a while since we last did this!
GRAE:  [v sexily]  Yes... Edinburgh, in fact!
SPEV:  Indeed! [pulls away from GRAE, leaves hand resting underneath the lapel of his jacket and carries on rambling to him for ages - sadly I can't remember what about cos I was too busy thinking 'I've got my hand on Graeme Garden's chest...and he's not moving it...']

Then after the safe recovery of the autograph, I saw Timsy Wimsy Snookums again!  Convo went thus:

SPEV:  Hello, darling, how are you?
TIM:  Oh hello!!  yes, I'm fine thank you very much, long time no see!
SPEV:  I know, it's been ages, I've missed you!  Oh, Tim.  Can I have a cuddle please?
TIM:  Oh, yes, we must have a cuddle!!!  [cuddles SPEV rampantly]
SPEV:  It's been toooooooo long since we last had one of these!!
TIM:  [excitedly]  Yes, I know, it's been weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and WEEKS!!
SPEV:  Months, even!!
TIM:  Yes!!  Although this doesn't constitute cuddling, it's more raping!!
SPEV:  [laughs in shock]  Yes, but you do enjoy it, don't you?
TIM:  Oh YES!!!!!  Can't you tell by the HUUUGE grin all over my face!!!!!
SPEV:  Glad to hear it!!  [quickly changes subject!] Erm, can you sign this for my brother, please?  his name's Ian!
TIM:  Yes, I know that - Graeme just wrote it, there!!!
SPEV: Well done!!  Erm, Tim, this is my nephew, Tom!
TIM:  Oooh, lovely!!
SPEV:  Tom, this is...er...oh never mind, you know who he is...

And then very quickly they'd gone!  It was so sad...  Jess told Grae that we were going to Sunderland and he looked quite pleased with that.  Pleased or horrified, we can't tell which.  Although we'd personally like to think that he got into the taxi with Tim and said:

GRAE:  Guess what?
TIM:  What?
GRAE:  They're coming to Sunderland!
TIM:  WAHEYYYYY!!!
GRAE:  WALLOPPP!!!!

Obviously we know that didn't happen, but it makes US chuckle anyway!!!

Can't wait till Sunderland.  Shall post again then.

Dunno when I'll next do the old journal entry thing.

Don't forget - Monday, 13th November 2006, 18:30 GMT, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - radio 4, or bbc.co.uk/radio4.  Don't miss it.  Tim's Dalek impressions are so worth it!!!!


Mood - Extremely jovial!!!
Music - My other nephew (Bill) playing Cars on the PS2
Edited - Never
1 Comments


Comments
Grrrrr! So jealous, Megs! Glad you had a blast, though.
Posted by:pruneonthemoon

pruneonthemoon  

date: 28/10/2006 07:47 GMT
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