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Not_A_Megalomaniac's Journal
Back to Not_A_Megalomaniac's Journal
2006-09-09 23:25:38
Love and Marriage. Pathetic.
Not_A_Megalomaniac
The L word.  The M word.  They screw life up something rotten and GOD some people don't deserve what they have.

Peej and I have a mutual older male friend who we've known for a number of years who is married to one of the nicest, sweetest, most inoffensive people on earth.  I explained to him last night about my problems with the L word.  He is also having similar problems in that he is in love with someone else aside from his wife.

I could swing for him.  I am so angry I don't know what to think.  He became friends with this woman somehow, possibly over the internet I think, I forget the details, and ended up becoming very very good strong friends.  He reckons he didn't realise how close he was getting to her - but the way he described it to me he knew exactly what he was doing. 

If I fall in love, I'm single, I can fall in love with who the hell I like, and if it isn't reciprocated, fair dos, if it is, even better.  If, god forbid, I ever got married - that would be IT.  When you get married, you stop looking.  Even if you think you're not looking and you don't think for one minute you'd ever want to find anyone else - WAKE UP FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!  He's an intelligent man, platonic friendships between members of the opposite sex never work because sooner or later one of them at least is going to develop feelings for the other.  As I've discovered on more than one occasion, first occassion to my horrifying detriment.  It's fucking obvious.  The idiot.

You may think I'm looking at this in a very black and white manner.  But as far as I'm concerned there's nothing grey about it.  Really.  I don't profess to be judgemental - but for god's sake how can you hurt the person you've promised to spend the rest of your life with?  I could never ever do that to someone.  I really couldn't.  I've seen my brother have his heart broken and his life systematically torn apart by the bitch who married him and then proceeded to become the fucking town bicycle.  There's something so heartless about it I don't know how anyone can do it.

Okay he's not having an affair - but he wants one.  He's 'settling' for his wife cos they've been married for over 20 years.  How would you like to be 'settled' for?  He said something about him and this bird having 'respect' for nearly 50 years of marriage so they're not doing anything about it.  If you have ANY respect for the person you're married to you wouldn't do that to them in the first fucking place.  It must be hellish to know about that and then live the rest of your married life feeling like you're just second best.  His wife doesn't deserve it.

He's entirely put me off ever saying anything to Nathan.  In fact I'm determined to just keep the hell away from Nath from now on, just in case.  I hate the way he's been so lovely to me since my brother went to prison though.  Why!!!  They're so confusing, these men. 

Why can't all men be like Tim Brooke-Taylor?!

Mood - Actually not as upset as I seem!
Music - None at the moment.
Edited - Never
7 Comments


Comments
I hope i'm not sticking my nose in but maybe this friend in question should sit down with his wife and tell her how he feels, and maybe suggest seeing a marriage guidence officer to find out why he has those feeling.

I kind of know what you are saying when I use to live in Sydney there was a family that we lived nextdoor to us. To cut it short he was a truckie with 3 kids one who was quite mentally (sp) unstable because he knew his dad was cheating on his mum and had another family and wife somewher else in Australia. He would always go back to her next door with flowers and guilt.

I saw the suffering it was doing to the family next door and if I meet the right fella I wouldnt look to kindly on cheating.

Youre right I could bloody swing for somone I knew was cheating.
Posted by:RatDog

  

date: 09/09/2006 23:45 GMT
I also forgot to add  some work and some have long and loving marriages. But you should see the heartbreak when one of them dies I have seen it.
Posted by:RatDog

  

date: 10/09/2006 00:05 GMT
I have - two of my best friends were married very happily for nearly 50 years and the wife died very slowly and painfully of cancer earlier this year.  I was with her right to the end and practically had to watch her die.  It was very stressful, very painful and the worst thing I've ever gone through.  Her husband is still overwrought with grief.  It's horrible.
Posted by:Not_A_Megalomaniac

Not_A_Megalomaniac WWW 

date: 10/09/2006 00:29 GMT
Life is good than we have emotions.  I sit in me bubble and my friends on a pedeastool.  Then they do something that shatters my ideals and than who do I look up to then, there perfect world can't be suffering.  Who would I live vicariously through then?  I may be single but I know when I meet someone (if) it isn;t going to be perfect and stuff happens...

Sorry I'm rambling....I have pact for you or a challenge for u and Nathan...read my entry for your double post.  I'll support you...ohh wait you'll support me...ohh sodd it I'm of to the GROK site!!!!!
Posted by:bindy

bindy  

date: 10/09/2006 01:32 GMT
incensative sorry!  I'm trying to give you faith in the "L" word but just sounded narcissistic.  Guess I'm trying to say (with out being offensive) thats their life and u got your own and good things  r comin'.  Give your old mate a crack.  Worse case scenario you'll be here telling us.  You won't loose his friendship 'cause YOU are (despite the voice in your head) strong enough if he says "sorry, no". 

Don't let your mates marriage drama's be another excuse.  Take the leap.
Posted by:bindy

bindy  

date: 10/09/2006 01:41 GMT
I'd like to put something really deep and insightful here, but you know how much I suck at interpersonal gumph.  Do NOT take advice from me.  Take care.
Posted by:jodievdw

jodievdw  

date: 10/09/2006 03:37 GMT
HMM the force is storng with you.  I sence a birck wall.  Are u me.  Whats going on? Who am I?
Posted by:bindy

bindy  

date: 10/09/2006 04:28 GMT
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