Look at this, it's been all over the country
Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, Canberra, Edinburgh, Perth
Oh come on, it can't have been to Edinburgh
Not yet, but it soon will, this Goodies rebirth
It'll be a braw bricht moonlicht nicht tonicht
In the land of Hoots Toots Och Aye The Noo
Come August at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Where the Goodies are coming for you, you and you
It's been 25 long years for U.K. Goodies fans
But their heroes are about to be seen
Still alive on stage, as amusing as ever
With Bill "almost live" up on the big screen
Goodies fans in Australia would surely agree
That it's just an amazing show
Clips, live sketches, reminiscing and more
If you're in Britain, then make sure you go
A wee dram of preparation is necessary
Before roamin' in the gloamin over the border
Make sure that nothing's worn under your kilt
That it's all in perfect working order
There'll be wild haggises and sporrans everywhere
And look out for the bagpipes spider
Have Andy Stewart's pic ready to scare Nessie away
Or just unzip her to see who's inside her
So ye must be English tourists, 'ey?
Not seeking the monster, but something even more rare
A comedy group unsighted in England for decades
'Coz the ruddy BBC won't repeat them on air
Well you've come to the right place if you're after them
Welcome to the Fringe Festival, my friends
You'll laugh until you cry and you might even die
If Ecky Thump duels send you round the bend
You'll find out about Graeme's fuzzy chops
And Bill's most painful times
Tim will tell you how the Goodies began
And how Jon Pertwee remembered his lines
So many highlights packed into an hour and a half
And the show is by royal command
Jolly King Charles almost married Tim once
And he was a big Goodies fan
I'm not so sure about Her Majesty though
Their sendups of her might not be excused
She might even use the Queen Victoria line
Of "One is not amused"
Though "two are bloody furious"
"And one just wants Harry Secombe's autograph"
Even better, you might get Tim and Graeme's instead
After the show if you wait out the back
The Goodies revival has been a long time coming
So head to Edinburgh and have heaps of fun
Just remember to tell the C&G about it
When you're back home again after it's all done
