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daftbird's Journal
Back to daftbird's Journal
2007-02-20 21:18:29
oh the snakes crawl at night, that's what they say
my blog from the second of february:

oh the snakes crawl at night, that's what they say...

Please do not think even for one minute that I don't know the difference between a snake and a cockroach. It's just that I've been listening to.....hehe....Charley Pride's Greatest Hits -hence The Snakes Crawl At Night.

Oh, and how could you forget the classic(?) Kaw Lija, about an Indian Chief:

"Poor old Kaw Lija, he never got a kiss
Poor old Kaw Lija, he don't know what he missed".

You never know what might be on the turntable here from what day to the next - it's rather frightening, really.

Today I am writing to express my utter digust over an event that transpired in the last couple of days.

I thought that it was time to get my act together in some way and sort out the great piles of books that live next to my bed - if anything is going to happen to me I don't want anyone else to have to deal with all this crap, right?

So there I am going through the bookshelf, culling, sorting a give-away pile - in other words making space for the bedroom books to go. And WHAT DO I SEE?????? A ruddy great cockroach of course. Ran straight past me and into the books. A massive mongrel of a thing.

So I frantically pull out books until I hit the jackpot - pile of cocky crap. I mean a PILE. He must have taken up residence there a little while back.

As if it isn't disgusting enough to have one of these in your house, let alone in your books, but what I found just OUT OF LINE about it is that the pile was behind - and touching - Persuasion by Jane Austen . I would have smashed that cockroach to death if I could have found him (I'm assuming it was male). I've put bait out for you, buddy! Come and get it, beast.....YOU JUST CAN'T GO AROUND DEFECATING ON JANE AUSTEN!!!!!!!

Out comes the dust pan and brush, the paper towel, the clean up. Get every little last bit of the cocky's jobs, wipe out the bookshelf, realise I'll never feel quite the same way about Persuasion again. Have an attack of the klutz and drop it all over the books sitting on the floor in front of the bookshelf and all over the floor. Get the vacuum cleaner. I now know that the cockroach NEEDS TO DIE -ARRGHHHHHH!!!!

It got me to thinking that if I were a cockroach - and I had a choice - which books I would pooh on.

One I can think of off the top of my head is The Shipping News - never did get past the first page of that.

If I were a cockroach in a cheeky mood I'd take a dump on Puckoon by Spike Milligan, or even his book of limericks- because Spike might find it amusing.

Or what about Such Is Life, just for a little irony.

I'd pooh on Howards End just to be a smart arse.

I thought it might be fitting to have a picture of cockroach doo doo (or however you spell it) to accompany this post. I googled cockroach faeces and got a photo of a weird cockroach. I googled cockroach pooh and got a photo of a man and the caption " Freaks After Cockroach Attacks!". These were entirely unsuitable, as I'm sure you would agree.

Speaking of pooh - the birds have taken a shine to my mailbox. Have to clean it all the time, it gives me the dirts. But sometimes -just sometimes - when I look out my bedroom window I see a bird perched on the mailbox and it looks....beautiful.

Mood - need to go read a book
Music - charlie pride in my head now
Edited - Never

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