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GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #16 - MAKE A DAFT NOISE FOR CHRISTMAS
(from C&G #48 December 1999)
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
WHO?
Last month's doddery DJ Pan's Grandpa managed to jive his way through the various funky dances including the belligerent bee, the festering ferret and the disgusting three toed sloth with ease, even managing to follow Graeme's expert instructions for doing the Disco Heave, although the thought of someone putting on a Max Bygraves record (even accidently) was enough to make him contemplate doing a "Michael Aspirin" effort at the Housewife Of The Year Contest.
The follow-up act of Lady Constance de Coverlet doing a fan dance soon put an end to his contemplating, so while we're mopping up the rancid halibut giblets to send to the Rumbling Tum restaurant, we'll take a sleigh ride to the North Pole to our decorative DJ Arthur Nasia <AKA Brett Allender> and his review of "MAKE A DAFT NOISE FOR CHRISTMAS" by The Goodies.
WHERE? WHEN?
On the 1997 CD 'Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies", their 70's albums 'The Goodies Greatest' and 'The Goodies Greatest Hits', and as a single (with 'Last Chance Dance' on the flip side).
WHAT?
Lyrics: sung by Bill, with soft background vocals of "Boing boing bukka chukka boing a boing ding a ling" throughout much of the song
Christmas is coming, isn't it a laugh, we haven't any money, so let's all go daft!
Come along girls, come along boys, we'll all get together, make a daft noise for Christmas
Let 'em all stop, let 'em all stare, calling us crazy, we don't care, it's Christmas
It's Christmas time, so, sing about love and sing about joy
It's Christmas time, so, raise your hands and raise your voice
It's Christmas time, so, come on, come on, make a daft noise for Christmas, Christmas
What if it's sad, what if it's tough, you'd like to buy a present but you haven't got enough for Christmas
You might as well squeal, you might as well shout, show 'em how you feel, let it all out for Christmas
It's Christmas time, so, you've got no crackers and you've got no toys
It's Christmas time, so, you've got no money so you've got no choice
It's Christmas time, so, come on, come on, make a daft noise for Christmas, Christmas
Christmas comes but once a year, and when it does, it's absolutely shocking
T' Goodies are here with a daft idea, to stuff a little cheer in your Christmas stocking
[spoken] All right, I want everyone to repeat everything after me. (Everything after me!) That's not what I mean! (That's not what I mean!) You're just being silly! (You're just being silly!) Let's make a daft noise. (Let's make a daft noise.) Make a [neigh] ([Neigh]), make a wheee (Wheee) Ooo ooo ooo (Ooo ooo ooo) Diddly diddly diddly (Diddly diddly diddly) [chicken clucking] ([Chicken clucking]) [blows raspberry] ([Blows raspberry]) [clapping ([clapping)] Here comes a hard one! (Here comes a hard one!)
Boing boing bukka chukka boing a boing ding a ling! (Boing boing bukka chukka boing a boing ding a ling!)
Near enough! (Near enough!)
Come along girls, come along boys, we'll all get together, make a daft noise for Christmas
Let 'em all stop, let 'em all stare, calling us crazy, we don't care, it's Christmas
It's Christmas time, so, sing about love and sing about joy
It's Christmas time, so, raise your hands and raise your voice
It's Christmas time, so, come on, come on, make a daft noise for Christmas, Christmas
Christmas time [repeated several times in overlapping harmonies)
Christmas is coming and the Goodies are too broke to buy any presents, presumably after Greedy Graeme had blown the Visa limit earlier in the year on metal detectors, stuffed mules and prospecting gear. Given this perilous financial state, about the only thing that they can stuff into a Christmas stocking (apart from one of Tim's boringly unamazing old feet) is a bit of festive season cheer by creating a suitably daft noise to spread some love and joy with. Bill encourages "everyone to repeat everything after me", nuttily followed by a mass chorus of "Everything after me!" with an eventual riposte from Bill of "You're just being silly!" also being echoed back at him. After the Goodies work their way through a series of silly sounds including passable impressions of a funky gibbon, Constance the chicken and the flatulent dodo, they ultimately come up with the following gem: "Boing boing bukka chukka boing a boing ding a ling!" to a suitably boppy tune. Decently daft, though I'm rather partial to "There's nowt wrong wi'owt what mitherin' clutterbucks don't barley grummit!" myself, even if it might have messed up the music a bit!
WHY?
Making daft noises when under duress is nothing new to the superchaps three. After all, Tim's hysterical shrieks of "I'm a teapot!" when in peril are the stuff that legends (and another song) are made of, and Bill even tried to win the hand of Mildred Makepeace in marriage by uttering the loony line of "mim mim mim mim eek eek phhtt!" to her father in a futile bid to impress him. Under normal circumstances the gift of a daft noise for Christmas would probably be met with a hostile hand gesture from the distinctly unimpressed receiver, but there's little point in buying expensive gifts when the world is about to be blown up at midnight anyway. Then again, there's not much point in saving your money either, so buy me some decent presents, you tightarses! At least let me lick the chocolate off a dozen Mars bars at any rate. Actually this is quite a fun song to bop along to just as the clock nears midnight on Christmas Eve and you just might even squeeze in an extra chorus if a certain four eyed git has played a funny joke and set the clock forward half a minute!
HOW!
Using the black pudding ratings system:
MUSIC: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
SINGING/LYRICS: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
HUMOUR: II Fair-y Punkmother
ALL TOGETHER NOW: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III - Goody goody yum yum.
II - Fair-y punkmother.
I - Tripe on t' pikelets.
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