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The Guardian, November 5, 1986

Young Guardian: Input

BY: BILL ODDIE

I read a really interesting article last week, but the baby ate it. I can remember roughly what it said though. Apparently, scientists have once and for all, irrefutably proved that men and women are different. Oh, you knew that?

No, what I mean is .. you know different sections of the human brain control different abilities and facilities (big words are OK in the Guardian, yes?). Well, by using some kind of cranial camera (they stick the lens in your ear I suppose) scientists have observed that men and women's brains develop in different ways. Unfortunately I can't remember exactly what ways.

I know the general conclusion was that men can't help being good at physically violent activities, and maths (which explains why men are better at boxing .. they can hit one another AND count each other out). Whilst women really are better suited to cooking, and operating computers. That's a bit of a simplification but it was something like that.

The point is it means many of the differences between the sexes are natural and not all the result of historical conditioning and biased education. This shouldn't come as much of a surprise. After all, let's own up, basically we are animals (mammals, no less) and in the animal kingdom the role of the sexes is generally pretty consistent.

Take birds. The males tend to wear silly coloured feathers and prance around showing onto the females, or else they're fighting other males; whilst the females usually get on with laying the eggs and bringing up the chicks.

I'll happily accept that men and women are much like the birds but which is 'better'? (Men or women, I mean). Well, I reckon bringing up kids is a slightly more constructive activity than belting one another. Surely mankind measures his (or her) civilisation by how far we've come since our primitive start in the jungle?

It seems to me that by any logic the more civilised we get the more women should play leading roles in our society? Does this happen? Subject for next school debate (and Margaret Thatcher doesn't count). Anyway and also .. consider this: how many women football hooligans do you know? or muggers? or burglars? Or rapists? or drug pushers? Or .. or .. .or .. (fill in the blanks and then go on to the next question).

Best news of the week: Essex County Council have banned fox and deer hunting. Now that is civilised.

Most idiotic statement of the week: By Lord Northfield (chairman of a huge company of builders and developers) commenting on Prince Charles's complaint that too many green belts were being built on and ruined: 'He's been hi-jacked by the loony green brigade. '

Who does he mean? The MILLIONS of people who support the National Trust, the RSPB, the World Wildlife Fund, etc, etc, or simply value of ever-diminishing countryside? 'Loony greens' the lot of them. God bless 'em.