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| Janice's Journal |
Back to Janice's Journal
| 2006-01-10 00:16:38 |
Young, innocent love... |
 Janice |
When I was in Year Nine, I had a crush on a boy in my class all year. He was tall, dark, slim and good looking, (through my love goggles) and dressed impeccably. He wore glasses, but I didn't think that detracted from him...in fact, I thought he didn't look right when he took them off for photos. He could rollerskate really well and I even liked the ADIDAS sneakers he wore! He was a key monitor with me every day and we had to go together to get the key, etc. It was a wonderful thing for a teenage girl with a crush! I was a little jealous of a couple of his female friends, but they had been friends for a long time and that’s all they seemed to be. It was unrequited love and in the next year or so, I eventually got another interest, but always had a bit of a soft spot for him, I guess. Throughout high-school he was a bookworm, who achieved high grades, worked conscientiously and never had a girlfriend. After high school finished, he visited me a couple of times at the department store I was working in. Then I didn’t see him anymore.
A number of years ago I went to the opening of a new housing establishment, to hear the free band. I saw someone who resembled his twin sister. I figured I had nothing to lose, so went and said hello and checked if I was right. It was her! She was very friendly to me. I took the opportunity to enquire about her brother. (Just in a friendly way…I was married at that stage!) And very casually she said, “He’s fine; he’s living with a guy; he’s gay,” just like that. My jaw wanted to drop to the ground, but I managed to look (I think) like nothing was out of the ordinary. She went on to tell me that he and his partner had been living together for five years. I told her I’d had a crush on him and she said, “You never told me!” (As if I would have told his sister!) “Can I tell him?” she asked. I replied, “Well, it won’t make much difference now!” (But, in a funny way, I kind of liked the idea that he would finally know…)
When I was on my way home I thought about it a lot, as I have from time to time. No wonder he never showed interest in girls! (Let alone me!) What a waste of time having a crush on him was! Another guy from high school, whom I told about it, wasn’t surprised at the news. Maybe guys sense these things better than we do...
Mood - Quiet
Music - None |
| Edited - |
 2 Comments
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.There is nothing that quite measures up to the crushes of youth!The crushes of adulthood are too grounded in practicality-whereas at that age anything is possible-in your head.(Even band members are going to fall in love with you if they ever meet you-haha-apparently oprah ,as a young girl ,even felt that way about paul mccartney-that if he REALLY KNEW her he would love her haha).i had close friendships at school with 2 guys who turned out to be gay and it does make you wonder about yourself as well,if you know what i mean.What is it in you that makes you so comfortable around them,or them around you-is it because they are gentle or something?What do you think?Oh Janice-lets face it-he would HAVE to have been gay not to show an interest in you if you were as attractive and friendly back then as now 
What a difference confidence makes...and getting positive attention from the opposite sex is good for building confidence. Although, in some ways, I'm still a little insecure and dependent...but not like I used to be!
