The Official Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club Website

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 96 12th December 2003

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'The Goodies Rule - OK!'

Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA

THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G

- David Piper-Balston

COOL COR COMIC REVIEWER:

FEATURE ARTICLE CONTRIBUTOR:

1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you

2. BOFFO IDEAS - Club ideas and happenings.

3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.

4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.

5. FEATURE ARTICLE - Goodies interview - Cult Times - May 2003

6. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - Dodonuts

7. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #24

8. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS

(by "Magnus Magnesium")

QUOTE: "Today the post office. Tomorrow ... the world!"

(a) Which Goodie says this quote?

(b) What major feature makes this post office unique?

QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Kitten Kong"

(d) Who is Bill cooking a lavish meal for at the start of the episode?

(e) What is the problem afflicting Graeme's vampire bat?

(f) Which song do the two singing dogs perform?

(g) Which guest star gets squashed by Kitten Kong's giant paw?

(h) Which other animals pig out on Graeme's growth formula, with destructive consequences?

The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.

You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for

bob-a-job week. E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or

After a lengthy stint as the Acting President of 'The Goodies Rule OK', Lisa Manekofsky has recently been officially appointed as President by the fan club committee. We would like to thank our past President Kay Dickinson for her excellent contribution to the club and congratulate Lisa on her new appointment, as she is without doubt one of the most enthusiastic Goodies fans around and will do a tremendous job leading our fan club in the future.

Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden have kindly agreed to answer further questions from Goodies fans via the C&G newsletter as they have done so brilliantly on previous occasions. So if there's a question that you've always wanted to "Ask A Goodie" then please send it to clarion@goodiesruleok.com and keep an eye on future newsletters for an answer. Past Q&A interviews with Graeme can be found in C&Gs 83 and 84, while Tim's previous replies can be found in the following C&Gs: 23-26, 63-65 and 87.

HAPPY EARTHANASIA

On behalf of the team at the Clarion & Globe I'd like to wish all readers and their families a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for a great year in 2004. My personal thanks to everyone who has contributed information to the C&G during the year as you've made my task of putting together the newsletter an easy and enjoyable one. Special thanks to Lisa Manekofsky, Linda Kay, Alison Bean and David Piper-Balston for their sterling contributions throughout the year and also to Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden for their continuing support of the newsletter and the fan club in general.

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:

AT LAST THE 1948 SHOW ... AT LAST!

(contributed by David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - November 23rd)

Comedy gold unearthed

At Last The 1948 Show, at last

An episode of the Sixties comedy series that spawned the Pythons is to be aired for the first time in 36 years, after lost footage was painstakingly reconstructed.

The episode of the At Last The 1948 Show was a victim of the mass wiping of tapes by broadcasters in the Seventies, erasing invaluable archive material.

The show starred future Pythons John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Eric Idle, future Goodies Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie, plus Marty Feldman, Barry Cryer and dumb-blonde linkwoman Ami Macdonald.

Made by Rediffusion,the series was aired on ITV in London in 1967, but not networked, and most the groundbreaking sketches thought lost.

But some years ago, a private collector gave the British Film Institute an audio tape of an episode recorded off the TV when it was first aired.

By chance, all but one of the sketches were included on a compilation tape sold to Swedish TV that archivists had recovered, allowing most of the show to be restored. That version was screened at the National Film Theatre three years ago,

Now the final missing sketch has been discovered on an old trailer broadcast in Australia, the Independent on Sunday reports, allowing the reconstruction to be complete.

The episode will now be shown on BBC4 on December 28, alongside a documentary Missing: Believed Wiped about lost comedy gems, the first episode of Till Death Us Do Part, a one-off Spike Milligan experiment called A Series of Unrelated Incidents, and the only surviving episode of Morecambe and Wise's first BBC series.

In the documentary, Cleese said: "I've always found it astonishing that people could have wiped these shows. When I heard that the 1948 Show had been wiped, I kind of gave up. I mean you've got a show with Marty Feldman, Graham Chapman, me and Tim Brooke-Taylor and the answer is that it took up too much space. Can you imagine? What a pathetic argument."

MISSING BELIEVED WIPED SCREENING

The NFT (National Film Theatre, London) held the 10th annual Missing Believed Wiped screening on Saturday 29th November. The Missing Believed Wiped initiative

aims to recover lost and/or wiped TV programmes; one of their major successes has been to recover three quarters of 'At Last! The 1948 Show', the pre-Python,

pre-Goodies sketch series, which stared Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Marty Feldman and the lovely Aimi MacDonald.

Recently staff at the ABC (Australia) discovered some long-lost trailer reels which contained extracts from 'At Last! The 1948 Show'. The reels were returned to the UK and were found to contain a missing sketch and fragments from three other missing sketches. The sketch and extracts were hurriedly included in this year's Missing Believed Wiped programme, they are:

* 'Thin Legs' (extract), from episode 1.1 (15/02/67). A doctor (Chapman) makes fun of a man with skinny legs (Brooke-Taylor).

* 'Judge Not' (extract), from episode 1.2 (22/02/67). Originally performed in the 1963 Cambridge Footlights revue 'A Clump Of Plinths' (later renamed 'Cambridge Circus') which starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, John Cleese and Bill Oddie (among others), this sketch features an incompetent lawyer (Cleese) involved in an increasingly ridiculous case. Brooke-Taylor, Chapman, Feldman and Barry Cryer play other courtroom characters. Parts of this sketch were later re-worked in Monty Python's 'Courtroom Sketch'.

* 'Joke Shop' (extract), from episode 2.1 (26/09/67). A man (Brooke-Taylor) is looking for an hilarious novelty item with which to play a joke on someone, but the shop assistant (Feldman) only recommends items which will have death or serious injury as side-effects.

* 'Clothes Off!' (full sketch), from episode 2.2 (03/10/67). Familiar from 'The Secret Policeman's Other Ball', this was originally performed by Tim Brooke-Taylor, Marty Feldman and Graham Chapman. A man waiting at the bus-stop (Brooke-Taylor) is accosted by a tramp (Feldman) who says he will take his trousers off if the man does not give him five shillings. The man refuses and instead takes his own trousers off; this attracts the attention of a policeman (Chapman).

Another archive comedy featuring Tim Brooke-Taylor, 'Marty', was screened, along with other comedies from 1968, at the NFT on 11 December as part of the NFT's TV 1968 season. The episode screened was 1.2 (06/05/68) and featured Brooke-Taylor in two sketches. The Comedy 1968 screening also featured episodes of 'Nearest and Dearest', 'Dad's Army' and 'Do Not Adjust Your Set' and it will be repeated on 27th December at 6:20pm.

NOTE: Transmission dates and episode information used in this article were ruthlessly culled from the indispensable Laugh Magazine - http://www.laugh.net.au

4. 2001 AND A BIT

If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.

*. Bill Oddie will appear in the 29th November edition of "The Big Read", talking about "The Wind in the Willows". The show will air from 19:30 to 21:00 on BBC2. (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - November 20th)

*. The www.billoddie.net site passed on a news item from the December 2003 issue of BBC Wildlife Magazine saying that "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" will be screened on 7 and 14 December at 5.30pm and on 21 December at 5.20pm. The site says, "Bill spends eight days in each of three easily-accessible tourist destinations: California, Iceland and South Africa's southern tip." (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - November 20th)

* Further details on "Bill Oddie Goes Wild:

Bill Oddie Goes Wild in Iceland

Sunday 14th December on BBC 2

17:30 to 18:10 (40 minutes long).

Bill Oddie heads north to Iceland, where in midsummer there are almost 24 hours of continuous daylight. He goes on an expedition in search of the harlequin, a duck that loves to surf the rapids; sees the birds that gave us eiderdown; and searches for the elusive predator of the north, the arctic fox. He also sets foot on a volcanic island that did not exist when he was born.

Bill Oddie Goes Wild in California

Sunday 21st December on BBC 2

17:20 to 18:00 (40 minutes long).

Bill Oddie heads off California's freeways and surfing beaches to explore the hidden wildlife of the sunshine state, including sea otters, chipmunks, sealions and a coyote. He also visits the spectacular wilderness of Yosemite. (Widescreen, Last of three programmes, Subtitles)

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

*. "Wild in Your Garden Revisited" will be repeated on Sunday, 30th Nov. at 17:55 to 18:25 on BBC 2. Here's a listing: "Bill Oddie looks back at the biggest ever broadcast of British wildlife. In the summer of 2003 a week-long 24-hour surveillance operation, using the latest technology and over 60 different cameras, followed the lives of some of the creatures that live in gardens. Bill sees how a few favourite characters, including foxes, badgers, blue tits and robins, are doing now." (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - November 20th)

* Bill will be appearing on the Mastermind Celebrity Special on BBC 2 Wednesday 31st December 2003 at 8.30pm.

"The second of three specials in which John Humphrys puts the questions to some of the UK's cleverest celebrities. Including Germaine Greer, Bill Oddie, Julia Somerville and Charlie Higson." (David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - December 6th)

* Bill Oddie will be hosting a show called "Ultimate Wild Night" which is scheduled to air on BBC on 1st January from 18:00-21:00 (it is 3 hours long). Here's the listing: "An evening of the public's favourite BBC TV wildlife moments, introduced by Bill Oddie from the Eden Project, Cornwall and the National Marine Aquarium in Plymouth, Devon. Animals in clips include elephants, crocodiles, meerkats, dolphins, foxes, badgers, owls, tigers and kangaroos." (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 9th)

*. Bill Oddie's History Hunters: Mon, 15th Dec - Friday, 19th Dec. BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 daily. Further information:

Monday 15th December on BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 Portsmouth.

Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Portsmouth's famous sons or daughters.

Tuesday 16th December on BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 Edinburgh.

Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Edinburgh's famous sons or daughters, also taking time out to look at the city's history including witchcraft, spiritualism and body snatching.

Wednesday 17th December on BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 Liverpool.

Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Liverpool's famous sons or daughters, also taking time to look at the city's role in the history of mass emigration, popular music and football.

Thursday 18th December on BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 Jersey.

Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Jersey's famous sons or daughters, also taking time to look at the island's history, including the Nazi occupation during the Second World War.

Friday 19th December on BBC 1 10:00 to 11:00 (1 hour long).

Historical tours with Bill Oddie.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

GRAEME & TIM SPOTTINGS

*. Graeme Garden's 2002 appearance on "Have I Got News For You" is being repeated on UK G2 at various late night/early morning times on November 26th, 27th, 29th, and 30th. These are the times I found, though I suggest you check your local listings:

- Wednesday 26th November on UK G2 21:00 to 21:40

- Thursday 27th November on UK G2 00:10 to 00:50 and 03:15 to 03:55

- Saturday 29th November on UK G2 21:00 to 21:40 and 23:55 to 00:30

- Sunday 30th November on UK G2 02:45 to 03:20

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - November 20th)

* Graeme Garden will appear in 'Holby City' on Jan 20th. (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

*. "Beat the Nation", a new afternoon quiz show hosted by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden will start airing on Channel 4 on Jan 5th at 2:45pm.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE

* It appears that "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Christmas Carol" will be broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on Christmas Day (as previously announced) and then repeated on New Year's Day. Here's the info:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Christmas Carol

Thursday 25th December on BBC Radio Four 12:00 to 12:57 (57 minutes long) and Thursday 1st January on BBC Radio Four 12:00 to 12:57 (57 minutes long).

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 9th)

* BBC 7's Newsletter from 5th December announced that the station would be extending their broadcast hours starting 15th December. They plan to have additional repeats primarily of comedy shows during these extra late night/early morning hours. One result is that an episode of ISIHAC will air 3 times each Monday (at noon, 19:00, and then at 5:30 Tuesday morning). This additional repeat may prove advantageous to fans in other parts of the world who wish to tune in to the show at www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 . BBC 7 also airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" on Fridays. Check their website for schedules and info about listening on-line.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

*. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue: Mondays on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30; repeated at noon the following Sunday. Also available on Radio 4's Listen Again service (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4). (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - December 10th)

5. FEATURE ARTICLE

(contributed by Kristen Allender)

ALL TO THE GOODIE

("Cult Times" - May 2003. by Paul Spragg.)

For a decade, the insanity of The Goodies reigned supreme. Now they're back on DVD for a new audience, how do Graeme, Tim and Bill feel about their work on the show?

From 1970 to 1981, TV was given a welcome shot in the arm near the funny bone by three men who claimed they could do 'anything, anytime.' Their names: Bill, Tim and Graeme, going under the collective title of The Goodies. Constantly finding themselves in the most ludicrous situations, these three men provided some of comedy's most memorable images, yet until now there's been no chance to appreciate their work due to the lack of a repeat run. This month the first Goodies DVD appears on shelves, and Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden were more than happy to discuss a much-loved period in their lives.

"Looking back, it was great fun to do, it was a great opportunity we had, and it gave us lots of opportunities afterwards to carry on with various other things. And it's rather touching that enough people remember it to bring it out on DVD and hopefully relive those happy days", begins Graeme. Tim agrees, saying his feelings are of "Warm affection. The odd thing is, for many years we never saw them again. I enjoyed them more than I did at the time; that's partly because at the time all you're noticing is what you didn't do right or could have done better, but, to my embarrassment, I burst out laughing because I'd forgotten what was done. So the original surprise was back again. That's not saying everything is brilliant; sometimes we're lucky..."

The three encountered each other in the environs of Oxford and Cambridge during their educational years, which they shared with many of the Monty Python gang. "It's a bit like bands, I always think.," ponders Bill. "It's like when someone leaves Led Zeppelin and goes to somebody else. Tim, for example, was in At Last The 1948 Show with Graham Chapman and John Cleese and Marty Feldman. Then he and Graeme got together and did Broaden Your Mind, which was a sketch show, and I came in and did some of those."

Tim takes up the story: "The BBC were happy for us to go on but they wanted it to be slightly different. We all sat down together and came up with the idea of doing a sketch show with a story so we didn't have to have punchlines all the time. And basically the BBC didn't know what they were getting, but they got it." He laughs.

Did they have a specific goal in mind? "A goal?" asks Graeme. "Well, earning a living was fairly high on the list." He chuckles. "Our aim really [was] not to be just another sketch show but to be a sort of hybrid and use a lot of influences from silent movies and from Tom & Jerry cartoons and from The Beano wherever possible. We'd often refer to a slap-up feed at the Hotel de Posh or something - straight out of Lord Snooty. We had fairly humble aspirations really, but we didn't set out to change the world and say 'This is how you have to do comedy,' it's just the way it appealed to us."

"When people said, 'Who are your influences?' we said Buster Keaton and Tom & Jerry," agrees Bill. "And we weren't joking; that was true. In the visual sequences we were trying to use ourselves like cartoon characters and with a lot of unreal violence like Tom and Jerry; you know, you could be flattened by a steamroller - and we often were - and then pumped up again and you were okay. I've always loved that."

Is there a specific episode the boys would point to to give a flavour of the series? "Funnily enough there's a DVD coming out with several episodes on," muses Graeme. Oh, really? "There are the famous ones that people remember, like the kitten, and the beanstalk one. Kung Fu [Kapers] was one which gives a flavour of the show in that what we tended to do is to combine a couple of ideas, and at that time kung fu movies with Bruce Lee were terrifically popular. We also wanted to have a go at northern stereotypes; as we all come from the north, we felt we were able to do that, and then to combine the two into a version of kung fu that belonged in the north of England."

Tim and Bill, meanwhile, are in agreement. "My favourite without a doubt, which will surprise people, is one called Earthanasia," reveals Bill, "which is horribly topical right now in a way, because it starts off with a broadcast where all the political leaders of the world have got together and decided the world is past saving and it's going to end that night. Why I like it is that we never really thought of us as acting, we were just human cartoon figures a lot of the time, and yet in that one there's a lot of performance which is verbal and visual, and Graeme I think is particularly brilliant with some of the visuals in that one."

"Some of those shows are the best because you had to concentrate on the words and the acting," agrees Tim. "And they're as funny as some of the big visual ones. There's a danger that people have in their minds some folk memories that The Goodies is just chasing after giant cats, but there's quite a big verbal element to it."

If people have such fond memories, it seems odd that the show was never repeated. "It's a puzzle," agrees Tim. "People assume that we've said it can't be shown, but it's quite the opposite, we'd love it to be shown."

But what about reviving the series? "We've always said we'd do more," Tim offers, "but we assumed it was five years' time, and then it was 10 years, and then it was 20. I think it would have to be a special in its own right, sending ourselves up, basically. Where they are now, what they are doing, and probably we would be doing important jobs in various places. I've often thought of doing it on radio, which is quite an interesting idea, but you'd really have to have the television [series] shown again before you can do radio. It would certainly be more comfortable on radio, but it wouldn't pay!"

(Accompanying photos: (1) A small picture of the Goodies on the trandem beside the main heading. (2) A large picture of the three Goodies standing side-by-side from one of the early series (pre-Tim's Union Jack waistcoat) with a photo of Kitten Kong alongside it. A tiny caption reads: "The Goodies: not just giant cats. So, er, ignore this picture then...")

6. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY

First screened: 8th November 1977

Graeme is awoken from his slumber by a noisy cuckoo clock, but produces a shotgun from beneath the sheets and blasts the cuckoo to bits. Clad in hunting gear and with raucous voices, he, Tim and other hunters march out of a country mansion and wildly shoot at every bird in sight (real and ornamental), then charge into the R.S.P.B. Bird Sanctuary. Bill is quietly observing a chirping sparrow through his binoculars when the hunters surround it, fill it with lead and egg each other on with wild celebrations afterwards.

Bill is disgusted with this behaviour and infiltrates the meeting of the Endangered Species Club, which is chaired by Tim in his seal pup hat (with Graeme having already pulled up a panda to sit on!). The club is only interested in shooting endangered species, as common species are everywhere, (and therefore no fun to shoot, as proved by Graeme, who mercilessly pots Pretty Boy the budgie!) and are also interested in preserving animals so that they have something to kill! Bill insists that they should be prepared to only kill what they intend to eat, but then disapproves of their rather gruesome menu and eventually declares that he would prefer to starve than to harm other living creatures. This therefore makes him an endangered species and he runs for his life, as the shooters fire wildly after him.

Months later when the wounds have healed, Bill has converted the office into headquarters for the Abolition Of Endangered Species Club and has accumulated heaps of endangered animals there. Tim thinks that they're an early birthday present for him to slaughter, but Bill has equipped the animals with various weird survival mechanisms, including an armoured rabbit, an exploding slug and a chook that fires a barrage of concrete eggs. Graeme enters the office under fire with another endangered species for Bill - a dodo - the last one of a discontinued line.

Rather than going cheap at the pet shop, it was going "ERRRKKK!!" and the racket is sufficient to get Tim and Bill out of bed (the same one!) at 3am only to find Graeme in earplugs pacing the floor, as he tries to figure out why the dodo became extinct in the first place. Beside its deafening squawking, the dodo also has several other little problems like a lack of house training, a weird diet, tummy troubles and bad flatulence and Bill's offer of "He goes, I go" is soon taken up by the other two, although his streetwalk with the dodo doesn't exactly come up smelling like roses!

The Endangered Species Club is on the point of collapse, as all of the endangered animals have gone and eaten each other after Bill had locked them up together in a big box. However short of blowing up London Zoo, there is still the dodo for them to pursue. Meanwhile Bill and the dodo are holed up in a small cabin inside the bird sanctuary, but he is desperate to get the greedy, flatulent dodo outside for a change and finally resorts to dressing up as a dodo himself to prove that no harm will come to his feathered friend out there.

Tim has the same idea of dressing up to lure the dodo towards the hunters and he and Bill dance beak to beak while being filmed by a Disney Wildlife Unit crew until Tim and Graeme realise that the other 'dodo' is Bill and faint in shock. Tim finds that the real dodo randily takes a fancy to him before he and Graeme assist Bill in getting it to fly (so that the hunters can have the thrill of pinging a moving target!), but despite their best efforts the dodo still can't get airborne. However Bill has one trick left up his sleeve and promises Tim that the dodo will take its maiden flight at 3pm the next day.

The hunters are in position with guns at the ready, but after a briefing from Bill, the dodo takes to the skies in an old warplane and proceeds to blitz the hunters into submission. However the plane smoulders after a direct hit from a gun on the back of the trandem and it erupts in a huge fireball after it ploughs into the small cabin. Bill sits in the smoking ruins and the remorseful Tim and Graeme wander over to console him, only for him to reveal that he has discovered the real reason why dodos became extinct - they're delicious! Finger Lickin' Good in fact!

* Graeme: "And the proof of the pudding is in tonight's menu, my little ecofreak. Poached osprey eggs, mole kebabs and barbecued badger balls."

Tim: "My favourite!"

Graeme: "And of course, a choice of red or white."

Graeme: "No, squirrel or rhino!"

* Bill: "You've heard of an armadillo. But what do you get when you remove the armoured part?"

* Tim (about the dodo at the pet shop): "Was it going cheap?"

Graeme: "No, it was going ERRRKKK!!"

* Tim (after almost sitting a pile of dodo doos on his throne): "That is my best throne! And look at the size of it! I thought it was a new cushion!"

* Tim: "There was the suggestion that we create a few (endangered species) of our own by potting nearly all the sparrows. But I'm not eating bloody sparrow sandwiches for six months!"

* Bill (after the dodo has flung itself at Tim, who is in a dodo costume): "Get off him! You dirty little bird! Sex mad, he is! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! Listen, I did not get you a mate. It's just Tim. (randy squawk from dodo) You're in luck, he's not fussy!"

* Graeme and Tim setting out from their country retreat as loud voiced tweed-clad hunters (the same type of character that Tim played in the earlier episode 'Hunting Pink'), with Graeme blasting his cuckoo clock with a shotgun, Tim potting the rooster ornament atop the wind vane and a posse of hunters surrounding a bird feeder and blowing it to bits, before storming into the bird sanctuary (with Bill politely telling them to "Shh!" when they shoot the gate to pieces!) and gunning down the sparrow which Bill has been observing through his binoculars.

* The various little problems of the dodo, including its raucous squawk which keeps Tim and Bill awake, its dodo doos all over Tim's throne, its 'sago pudding' in Tim's sneakers after regurgitating its baked beans and finally, its resonant farts from the beans that did manage to stay down.

* Bill taking the dodo for a walk down the street (and wearing a gas mask), with the dodo leaving little white piles of 'dodo doos' everywhere and the residents booing loudly and throwing things at him. Also a man shovelling up a pile and putting it on his prize roses, only for them to instantly wither and die.

* Bill being locked in a small cabin at the bird sanctuary with the obnoxious flatulent dodo and begging it to go outside (so that they can both get some fresh air), then going berserk when it eats all of his supper before dressing as a dodo and tangling with Tim (who is similarly disguised) in the Walt Disney wildlife film, which contains the great visual gag of the camera reels actually being a Mickey Mouse hat on the cameraman, Delectable Daisy (Tim) booting Dreadful Dennis (Bill) in the crotch and the commentary that "pretty soon they'll be at it like knives!"

* Tim and Graeme generously assisting Bill with wacky methods to get the dodo to fly (so that they can shoot it down later!), including the three of them heaving it around like a medicine ball, Tim taking a huge run up and punting it through the air like a rugby ball, Bill giving it a hammer throw, Graeme putting it in a slingshot and finally firing it from a cannon which just leaves it blackened, with Bill plucking one of its tailfeathers to dust it off with. Also Bill consoling the dodo after Tim has taken a pot at it with "Dere, dere, dere. Did the nasty man try to blow your head off?!"

* Various scenes from the dodo's final flight, including Bill almost being flattened when the plane takes off, Tim catching a bomb in a bucket which explodes and drenches him with water, Tim riding the trandem with Graeme on the back operating a missile launcher (and crashing into a fence when the tyre is blown out) and the plane exploding in a huge fireball after hitting the shed, with Bill sitting in the ruins having discovered that the dodo became extinct because "it's finger lickin' good!".

Percy Edwards (Voice of the Dodo), Barney Carroll, Eddie Davis, Ernie Goodyear, Jimmy Mac, James Goodyear

This episode holds the dubious distinction of being the most heavily censored Goodies episode by the ABC with some 2 minutes of footage cut, including some mild swearing, the reference to "barbecued badger balls", the dodo blowing off loudly, its randiness and its rather messy streetwalk. It's still a humourous episode on the ABC with Graeme and Tim going off the deep end as loony hunters and Bill showing his caring nature conservation side, but the uncut episode is probably their 'naughtiest' BBC effort and is very funny indeed

IIII Officially Amazing

BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM:

IIII - Officially amazing.

III - Goody goody yum yum.

II - Fair-y punkmother.

I - Tripe on t' pikelets.

January Episode Summary –

7. GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #24

16 June, 1973 No. 47

The Goodies at the seaside isn't an uncommon theme in both the series and the Cor!! comics, but one can only imagine how they might have handled the rescue of a stolen pier in live action! At least we can find out how they managed in cartoon form as seen in this issue's Cor!! comic review.

Header: THERE'S A WAVE OF TROUBLE WHEN THE GOODIES GO TO THE SEASIDE!

The Goodies, decked out in swim gear, are cycling on their trandem toward the seaside (a sign pointing the way reads "Welcome to Cheapskate on Sea"). A fisherman (with a fish in his pocket and a parrot on his shoulder) watches as they pass. Bill is caught by his vest on the hook of Tim's fishing line, which is holding him suspended above the bike, although he is managing to hold onto his handlebars.

TIM: I'm glad we decided to close the office for a week and come to the seaside!

GRAEME: Let's go straight to the pier and do some fishing!

The Goodies pedal onto the pier while a guard chases after them.

GUARD: Hey! You can't go on the pier ...

BILL: We're the Goodies, we can do *ANYTHING*!

Much to their surprise the Goodies find themselves in midair, falling toward the sea. A nearby seagull appears to be as surprised as they are.

GUARD: ... *Someone stole it in the night!*

TIM: Now he tells us! *Help!*

The Goodies soggily make their way back to shore. Tim approaches the Mayor, who is awaiting them, while Graeme, wearing water wings, flails vainly in the water.

GRAEME: Splutter ... puff ... I'm getting nowhere!

BILL: We're not surprised. The tide's out!

The Mayor addresses Graeme, who give the man a wet salute in return.

MAYOR: Glad you dropped in, Goodies - our pier's disappeared! Find it for us, please!

GRAEME: Leave it to us, Mr. Mayor!

Bill goes to a nearby 3p spyglass, training it quite conspicuously on a bikini clad woman on the beach. In the meantime, Tim takes Graeme's water wings.

BILL: I'll see if I can see it!

GRAEME: That's no good, we'll need a helicopter to spot it from the air!

TIM: No need, Graeme! Just lend me your water wings - I've got an idea!

Tim lets the air out of the water wings and uses them to propel himself up into the air.

BILL: Coo - Tim's going up in the world!

Tim lands with a belly flop across a woman's inflatable raft, sending her flying in the air and also sending the occupant of a nearby motor boat flying as well. Somehow he still manages to point out a direction to Bill and Graeme.

TIM: I saw the Cheapskate Pier! It's at a town along the coast!

BILL: Of course! A rival seaside town must have pinched it - we'll go and fetch it back tonight!

AND SO, THAT EVENING . . .

Graeme and Tim are seen in two rowboats, towing the large pier back to Cheapskate (a sign in the water indicates it is 2 knots away). Bill stands on the back of the pier waving to them.

TIM: I still think Bill should have got a boat and helped!

BILL: Someone's got to guard the pier!

And sure enough several men in rowboats are chasing after them. Bill spots them worriedly.

MAN IN BOAT: Oy! Bring back that pier!

BILL: Yikes! They're after us!

Bill unties some life savers from the pier.

BILL: These lifebelts will help me stop them!

Bill tosses the rings at the men in the boats.

BILL: I've got to act fast! Lucky I was a hoopla champ in my youth!