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THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 98 12th February 2004

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'The Goodies Rule - OK!'

Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA

THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G

- David Piper-Balston

COOL COR COMIC REVIEWER:

FAB FEATURE ARTICLE CONTRIBUTOR:

C&G CONTRIBUTORS: Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Roy Ellaby, Peter Wearden, Marf Shopmyer

1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you

2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.

3. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.

4. FEATURE ARTICLE - John Pertwee's Goodies appearance

5. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - Punky Business

6. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #26

7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS

(by "Magnus Magnesium")

QUOTE: "Number of legs ...variable!"

(a) Which Goodie says this quote?

(b) Who is he referring to?

QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Hunting Pink"

(d) What costume is Tim wearing when he visits his great-uncle?

(e) What is the name of his great-uncle's country mansion?

(f) Which Goodies song is used as backing music where great-uncle Butcher is having trouble riding his horse?

(g) What does he eventually end up riding when he successfully shoots a rabbit?

(h) What happens to great-uncle Butcher immediately after this?

The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:

THE DANGERS OF ECKYTHUMP

(from information contributed by Peter Wearden and Marf Shopmyer)

Found a mention of the Goodies on snopes.com (Urban Legends website) talking about people laughing to death.

Legend: People have died laughing.

Origins: In recent decades, laughter has been touted as a possible cure for many ills, including cancer and heart trouble. But could mirth also be deadly, making the phrase "I just about died laughing" as much about accuracy as it is hyperbole?

"On 24 March 1975, 50-year-old bricklayer Alex Mitchell of King's Lynn in Norfolk, England, kicked the bucket while roaring with laughter at one of his favorite television shows, the comedy programme The Goodies. The skit that precipitated Mitchell's fatal fit of glee involved a kilted Scotsman's flailing away with his bagpipe at a vicious black pudding intent upon attacking him. Mitchell was unable to stop laughing, and after twenty-five minutes of uproar gave one last "tremendous belly laugh, slumped on the settee, and died," said his widow, who witnessed his passing. Mr. Mitchell had expired from heart failure. " http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/laughing.asp

SECOND GOODIES DVD UPDATE

(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - January 28th)

Network have very kindly updated us with the situation regarding 'The Goodies' DVD releases.

Preparations are well under way for the follow up DVD to be released in September, though as always the dates are subject to change. Only 'Pirate Radio Goodies' has been confirmed so far but a shortlist has been drawn up from which 16 episodes will be chosen to form volumes 2 and 3.

It is hoped that clips from 'The Cilla Black Show' will be included as extras and possibly some music appearances from other shows such as Shang-a-lang!.

In addition to these BBC episodes there are also plans to release the entire London Weekend Television series as a special DVD.

I hope all at Network get an OBE for bringing us these wonderful discs.

GOODIES GRANDKIDS

(with thanks to Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden)

Ben Brooke-Taylor and his wife Sam are the proud new parents of Lily, who was born on October 9th at 7lb 12oz. Ben has designed a website full of baby photos and even some video clips: www.brooketaylor.co.uk . Tim said he is very proud of his Christmas picture with little granddaughter Lily (which can currently be found in the "new photos" section of the site).

Graeme's daughter Sally is the proud new mother of Madeleine Ella Kirk, who was born at 19:14 on January 20th 2004, weighting in at 7lb 13oz. According to Graeme, "Baby, mother, father and grandparents are all doing well!"

Also, our best wishes to Graeme who will be celebrating his 61st birthday on February 18th.

BILL'S DOING HIS BEST

(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - February 3rd))

A couple of stories have appeared about Bill remarking on the lack of Goodies repeats on the BBC!

Bill Oddie says BBC won't show The Goodies

Bill Oddie says he's bewildered why the BBC refuses to screen repeats of The Goodies.

The 62-year-old co-starred with Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor in the hit 1970s comedy.

He told TV Plus: "For some reason best known to themselves, the BBC has never ever repeated a full series of The Goodies and they show no sign of doing so.

"The men at the top have always said it would be deeply unpopular today, but that is not the feedback that I get."

Fans of The Goodies can watch their favourites on DVDs which went on sale last year.

Oddie said: "Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and I had a great time last year when The Goodies was released on DVD for the first time.

"It wasn't by the BBC, but by a private company which got the rights to about seven episodes, and re-released them. They're about to do the same thing this year, which will be fun."

BBC chiefs have admitted that there are "no immediate plans" to repeat the series, despite Oddie's call for it to be shown again.

A spokeswoman said: "It's not in the schedule for the next few weeks but it doesn't mean that it will never be repeated."

Bring back the Oddie bods

Bird-watching beard Bill Oddie has been having a beef at the Beeb over his ignored comedy classic, The Goodies.

The madcap Seventies series, which gave viewers such surreal gems as Kitten Kong, Ecky Thump and Rolf Harris-hunting in the Australian bush (well, Shepherd's Bush, probably), has never been fully repeated on its native BBC.

And last year, Oddie and his Goodies co-stars Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden were forced to release a compilation of the show on DVD through a private company instead of the dear old BBC.

The twitchy twitcher moaned in a magazine interview: "For some reason best known to themselves, the BBC has never ever repeated a full series of The Goodies and they show no sign of doing so.

"The men at the top have always said it would be deeply unpopular today, but that is not the feedback that I get."

The campaign to restore Black Pudding Bertha into the popular imagination starts here.

TOP OF THE POPS AGAIN

(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - February 8th)

A Top of the Pops performance featuring 'The Goodies' will be featured in 'Phill Jupitus's TOTP2' on BBC 2 Friday 20th February 2004 6:25pm to 6:45pm.

"Phill Jupitus joins Steve Wright to pick from the Top of the Pops archive. In this edition, music from the Specials, the Style Council, Jay-Z, Manic Street Preachers, the Undertones and the Goodies."

3. 2001 AND A BIT

If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.

* In addition to the show scheduled for this Friday (16th Jan) on BBC1 at 2:15am, another repeat of "Bill Oddie's History Hunters" has been scheduled for NEXT Friday (23rd Jan) from 01:55 to 02:55 on BBC 1 (perhaps this is going to be a weekly late night feature?)

The show on 23rd Jan. is the one from Edinburgh. Here's a listing: "Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Edinburgh's famous sons or daughters, also taking time out to look at the city's history including witchcraft, spiritualism and body snatching."

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - January 15th)

* According to Digiguide, "Secret Squirrels" has been moved to Sunday 1st Feb. at 17:40 on BBC1. Also, another repeated episode of"Bill Oddie's History Hunters" is coming up on Fri, 30th Jan at 2:10am on BBC1 as well.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - January 21st)

* A new show, "Natural World" has been scheduled for Sunday, 1st Feb from 18:20-19:10 on BBC2. Here's the listing for this show: "The Eagle Has Landed. Bill Oddie narrates a look at the successes of a few dedicated people who have brought ospreys, red kites and sea eagles back from the brink of extinction."

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - January 21st)

Hopes for the future of South End Green Post Office were boosted after the branch's temporary managers were awarded a permanent tenancy by their

landlord. The Ham&High understands that Ken and Daksha Kukadia, who were brought in to run the sub-post office on South End Road in December after the previous sub-post master was dismissed, can stay on. However, mail bosses refused to confirm whether the agreement, which is between the Kukadias and the building's landlord, would help campaigners' case for keeping the branch open.

The news comes just days after scores of protesters marched to save the branch, which has been earmarked for closure along with three other local sub-post offices, under the Post Office's cost-cutting cull of 3,000 branches nationwide. Actress Janet Suzman, of Keats Grove, and birdwatcher Bill Oddie joined pensioners and local traders waving Ham&High banners. Setting off from the branch at noon on Saturday, they walked up Keats Grove onto Downshire Hill and onto Rosslyn Hill, finishing at Hampstead's main post office in Hampstead High Street. The walk symbolised the inconvenient hike that customers of the South End Road branch will face if the branch closes.

Mr Oddie, of (address withheld - Ed.), Hampstead, said: "South End Green is my local post office. It is not really someone like me who will suffer the most from its closure. As much as I'm getting on, I can get up to Hampstead but it is one hell of a walk. It is a steep hill and about an hour's journey there and back and a difficult one at that. Camden council makes a point of building boulevards, which are an absolute nonsense - just digging up pavements - when they should be spending it on the post offices. We have already lost a bank in South End Green. A lot of people work around here and need a post office and bank. "The way we are going we won't have either. It is a sad comment on Britain." (David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - January 30th)

* Bill Oddie's History Hunters

Friday 6th February on BBC 1

"Jersey: Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Jersey's famous sons or daughters, also taking time to look at the island's history, including the Nazi occupation during the Second World War."

Friday 13th February on BBC 1

"Glasgow: Historical tours with Bill Oddie. The family team of history hunters try to track down one of Glasgow's famous sons or daughters, also taking time to look at the history of the Clyde, find out the truth about Scottish myths and take a gory view of Victorian medicine."

Saturday 14th February on BBC 2

(no description available)

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - February 3rd)

GRAEME & TIM SPOTTINGS

* I've just watched the second programme in BBC TV's Best Ever Sitcom.

The top ten are shown in a random order, over the course of ten weeks,and various "celebs" try and chivvy you into voting "their" sitcom as the best.

This weeks offering was Fawlty Towers.

Tim featured as one of the "Talking Heads" singing its praises.

Amazingly, The Goodies didn't even feature in the initial Top 100!! Scandalous!

* Tim and Graeme have just appeared on Channel 4's Richard and Judy" (5pm Friday 30th January) talking about 'The Goodies' and "Beat the Nation".

A montage of Goodies clips were shown at the start of the interview and a clip of 'Kung Fu Kapers' was shown during the interview where they explained that a man dies laughing at that episode.

In a clip of "Beat the Nation" the guest was non other than Nicholas Parsons and the interview ended with Tim and Bill revealing they have both just become grandfathers. (David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - January 30th)

* The first series of "Giles Wemmbley Hogg" is being repeated on BBC7 starting tomorrow (Thursday, Feb. 13th). I believe the show will air weekly on Thursdays at 23:00, with the same episode repeated a few hours later at 4:30 Friday morning. It can be heard on-line at www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7.

Graeme Garden contributed to the scripts for this show.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - February 11th)

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE

* This has been announced on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Announce Mailing list http://www.topica.com/lists/isihac-announce

The final recording of the next series of the Hamish and Dougal series, You'll Have Had Your Tea, has now been announced. Once again the recording is in London and the tickets will most likely move very fast.

GET YOUR FREE TICKETS

to witness for yourselves the further exploits of Hamish & Dougal in the final recording of the second series of their hilarious Radio 4 comedy "You'll Have Had Your Tea" starring Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden with Alison Steadman as their housekeeper Mrs Naughtie & Jeremy Hardy as the local Laird

Fans of their many appearances in Radio 4's "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", will be thrilled to hear that Hamish and Dougal, those delightfully eccentric and frequently misunderstood Scotsmen, are to make a second series of their own radio vehicle.

For a rollicking laughter-fest and more jokes than you can shake a stick at come to The Cochrane Theatre, Southampton Row, London WC1B 4AP (nearest tube: Holborn) on Sunday 29th February. Doors open 7.15pm - Show starts 7.30pm

To claim your free tickets - simply telephone the BBC Ticket Unit on 020 8576 1227 or email radio.ticket.unit@bbc.co.uk or apply online at www.bbc.co.uk/tickets/ (David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - February 11th)

* I've just spotted the first listing for the new series of "You'll Have Had Your Tea" - it's scheduled for 25 February from 23:15-23:30 on BBC Radio 4.

Here's the listing: "Comedy series featuring Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden playing their two popular characters from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. 1: The Vampire of the Glen." (Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - February 11th)

4. FEATURE ARTICLE

JOHN PERTWEE'S GOODIES APPEARANCE

(contributed by Lisa Manekofsky)

In 1975 Jon Pertwee (best known from his role in Doctor Who) appeared as a guest actor in the Goodies episode "Wacky Wales". The following article appeared in the Jon Pertwee Fan Club Newsletter, Summer 1975 Number 4.

"The Facts Behind The Goodies"

The people who make "The Goodies" have come to accept frantic production schedules as a way of life. There is constant pressure upon them to do a great deal in precious little time. In fact this trend is a true reflection of nearly all television production techniques. However, many have come to believe that "The Goodies'" best work has developed under pressure. This is certainly true of the programme in their last season, in which they ventured into "Welsh Wales", the land of forbidden fruit. There they faced the Reverend Llewelyn Llewelyn Llewelyn, a dubious member of the clergy with bulging eyes and a cawing voice, played of course by Jon Pertwee.

One of the most striking things about Jon's characterisation was his bizarre and even frightening appearance. "Actually the make-up was perfectly straightforward." said the make-up department. "A white face, a black wig well greased to look lank, and red-rimmed eyes. No attempt was made to disguise the fact that this was Jon Pertwee, as such an effort would be pretty pointless in a show like "the Goodies".

Jon fitted very well in the Goodies' type of comedy. Jon has always been a fan. "I thoroughly enjoyed working with Graeme, Tim and Bill. Their kind of zany humour appeals to me. Their 1975 entry for the Montreux Festival, all about old films, was superbly funny." Indeed the Goodies were awarded the Silver Rose of Montreux for that programme. The same award they received for their 1972 entry which featured the gigantic kitten which went on the rampage in the streets of London.

"It usually takes about two weeks to write an episode of "The Goodies"." said producer Jim Franklin. "The film element of each episode takes about 3 1/2 to 4 days to film, and then the studio bits usually require 4 days in the rehearsal rooms, and a full day in the studios to rehearse with cameras. This all culminates in the recording of the episode which usually takes an hour and a half. We all work at a frantic pace, particularly between the writing and recording stage. Our schedules are tight. For instance, show number five about the Goodies in Wales was recorded on Friday, 7th March and transmitted on the following Monday."

"Jon Pertwee was chosen for the part of the Welsh vicar because of his obvious comedy talents, and also because Tim, Graeme and Bill had always wanted to set him into one of the shows in a suitable part. They had Jon in mind when they wrote the show."

"The Goodies" is rarely hysterically funny. But it's always very entertaining in a visual sense, and although from the same stable, its humour is not so brutal as "Monty Python". Nevertheless "The Goodies" has cultivated an enormous following since it began in November 1970.

Tim Brooke-Taylor spoke to us about working with Jon: "The Welsh episode in which Jon featured was one of our happiest - its success is for the audience to decide, but one thing we can be certain of was Jon's performance. It wasn't what we'd hoped for - it was more. When this ghastly apparition with long dark hair exploded onto the set, we all wanted to run away."

"There was a moment in the show when we all had to echo what Jon was saying. It was one of the most painful experiences of our lives. We never knew what intonation he was going to use, and we knew we mustn't be seen to laugh. When he started on his gobbledegook, which we had to copy, I failed dismally and if you look closely at the recording you can see my shoulders shaking with laughter. I have always been a fan, but the real Jon as a performer exceeded my very high expectations."

"I hope very much that I will work with him again, whether in or out of "The Goodies". (I really hate him for winning the 'who can make who laugh' competition.)"

Tim Brooke-Taylor says in a P.P.S: "Ask Jon why he wouldn't look me straight in the eye in the pub scene, and why he seemed so interested in the floor." Grinning broadly, Jon answered: "The reason why was because they deliberately wrote me the most complicated lot of lines to speak, and as soon as I got them wrong, they all grumbled so I said to them, 'Now listen gentlemen, I am an actor. You are just part-time amateurs, and I don't operate like this. I like to have cues and I like to say my lines properly.' So then they said "Well you don't seem to be saying these lines properly', and then I told them I'd write them on the floor. So I wrote them in chalk on the floor behind Tim. But when I came on Tim deliberately moved so that you could see me reading off the floor. We had tremendous fun doing that scene and we all got on extremely well together."

Jon's episode of "The Goodies" can be seen later this year on BBC1 in the current series of repeats.

5. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY

First screened: 29th November 1977

The Goodies have formed a squeaky clean rock band called the 'Little Laddies' and proudly extoll the virtues of wearing nice clean shiny shoes in an equally sparkling live performance. However their audience of punk leather jacketed grannies take offence to all of this niceness and pelt them with a barrage of fairy cakes. Bill is dismayed at this negative reaction and launches a bitchy verbal attack on Tim before he declares that if trends such as shiny shoes and cleanliness are out of fashion, it's important to find out what is now considered 'in' by going out "on the road" - literally - in the middle of a busy expressway!

The ultra-cool looking Little Laddies are engulfed in exhaust smog and Graeme has his drums smashed by an errant motorcycle, but they are soon rounded up by a patrol of dancing cops who engage them for various police social functions and like the Shiny Shoes routine (mainly because "they've all got socking great feet", according to Bill). However Bill is very disillusioned about being stuck playing police gigs and wants to go punk, as he initially changes the group's name to 'Willie Snot and the Bogies' (while Graeme also chooses a universally objectionable name - Vanessa Redgrave!) and then ensures that the group can express the frustration of modern youth about unemployment by firing Tim and Graeme.

Tim is fed up with the newspapers being saturated with stories about the rapidly growing punk phenomenon and switches on the tv, only to receive an obscenity-ridden news bulletin which details his own fruitless crusade to "Keep Britain's Shoes Shiny" that merely raises the ire of punk politicians and police. His appearance on a current affairs program ends with him being attacked by the punk host for "being nice", so he decides to speak to the one person who might be able to explain punk to him - Caroline Kook of the Melody Maker magazine, who is an authority on writing about punk and other trends.

Tim dons a dinner suit and meets Caroline at a charming Italian restaurant only to find that it has gone punk since he was last there (at lunchtime!), with the waiter none other than Graeme, who has sunk to punk in a big way. After a disgusting meal and even more despicable service, Tim strongly objects to punk only to be put back in his box by Caroline (who is making a lot of loot out of writing about it), then asks her to marry him and accompany him to the Trendsetters Ball next Tuesday. Naturally she scornfully rejects his offers, so Tim resorts to a desperate visit to the St.Punks Hospital Freakology Department only to find that Graeme has become a punk doctor and has pierced Bill's ears with a giant safety pin (in one ear and out the other!).

Bill forces Tim to stay at home and do the housework on the night of the Trendsetters Ball (as Tim is considered "too pretty" to go), but after he flattens a "cheeky bloody mouse" with a broom, Tim is rescued by Dr Graybungles (his Fairy Punkmother), who turns him into Punkarella the freak by chopping his leg off and adorns his head with a huge pumpkin that has rats and lizards dangling from it. Meanwhile following a series of bizarre acts at the ball, Willy Snot (dressed in a tuxedo for extra shock value to the punk audience) lays it on 'em with an epic torture routine to the tune of 'I'm In Love For The Very First Time' and is the hot favourite to win the title of 'Officially Amazing'.

However he is upstaged by the arrival of the mysterious stranger Punkarella, who instantly captures the attention of Caroline Kook for a dance. The clock strikes midnight though, which causes Punkarella to flee, as Tim has been previously warned by Graeme that the clip holding his leg on is a bit dodgy, but as he runs up the stairs, his leg falls off and he hops away into the night, much to Caroline's dismay.

A couple of days later, Tim hops around doing the housework for a foul-mouthed Bill who notices that a proclaimation has been issued in the newspaper. The judges at the Trendsetters Ball are eager to establish the identity of Punkarella and their only clue is the leg that was left behind. Flunkies are travelling around the country with the leg and whoever it fits can have the hand of Caroline Kook in marriage and be deemed 'Officially Amazing'. This leads scores of desperate punks to chop their own legs off in a futile (and painful!) bid to win the prize, however the flunkies eventually find the right house and the rightful owner of the leg (after a distraction from pirate Bill and his one legged parrot!) and Tim finally wins the hand of Caroline Kook in marriage - and Graeme and Bill get to divide up the rest of her!

* The Little Laddies (singing 'Shiny Shoes' - the full lyrics are listed at the end of the summary):

"See them sparkle, see them shine. Nice clean shoes means nice clean minds!"

* Tim (to Bill): "Listen, you poor man's Muppet!"

* Bill: "I am gonna go punk!"

Graeme: "Do you mind if I open a window?!"

* Bill: "And the group will be Willy Snot and the Bogies."

Graeme: "Ah yes, that'll get right up their noses!"

* Tim (at the punk restaurant): "Oh this is alright. This is okay. Ratatouille."

Graeme (as a punk waiter): "No you can't have that. We've run out of rats!"

Tim (horrified): "WHAT!!"

* Tim: "Really little mouse? You really think I look like an ugly old cow?! Really? I'm so ugly that when I come into the room, you mice jump onto a chair! Really? I'm the ugliest thing you've ever seen in the whole ... the whole of your life?! CHEEKY BLOODY MOUSE!! (whacks it angrily with his broom!)

* Dr. Graybungles (to Tim, who is wanting to be turned into a freak): "Don't worry, I'm a very fast worker, Squire. We'll have you sorted out in two shakes of a lamb's whatsit. Matter of fact, I could give you a lamb's whatsit!"

* Tim: "What am I gonna do with just one leg?!"

Dr. Graybungles: "I should go to the hop!"

* The Little Laddies T, G and B performing their utterly contagious 'Shiny Shoes' routine in incredibly tasteless 70's suits and enormous black shoes for an audience of leather jacketed, motorcycle helmet-wearing grannies, who show their immense hatred of the performance by pelting the lads with fairy cakes.

* Tim's lone campaign to 'Keep Britain's Shoes Shiny' which draws the wrath of a tv newsreader, politicians and the police force who have all turned punk, along with a ferocious-looking Patrick Moore who makes rude gestures to the camera on 'The Stars At Night' and also Bill Grumpy, who violently objects to Tim "being nice" when interviewed on his tv show.

* Tim meeting Caroline Kook for a charming evening out at a restaurant, only to find that it has gone punk since he was last there (at lunchtime!), with Graeme (of all people) as the punk waiter offering awful service, including taking Tim's coat and using it to wipe the muck off the table before throwing it back at him, rescuing the chef's ear from Tim's chair (it hadn't gone into the Chicken Surprise after all!), snotting on the crumpled menu before handing it over, dumping a bucket of spaghetti on Tim's head followed shortly after by a bucket of sauce (after he has gently scooped a spoonful of sauce onto Caroline's plate!) and finally, shoving the bill in Caroline's cleavage for good measure!

* The contest for the title of 'Officially Amazing' at the Trendsetters Ball, with Frank Thornton superbly presenting an array of weirdos like the Archbishop of Canterbury (who knocks his transplanted block of stone head off in protest), Mr Nat Not Very Nice (who stuffs a live ferret down the front of his trousers) and Mr Willy Snot (aka Bill, who deeply shocks the assembled punk gathering by appearing in a tuxedo!) who are all being judged by a panel of experts including Caroline Kook and a blindfolded John Peel!

* Willy Snot protesting about issues as diverse as unemployment, secondary education and the hunting of dwarf gibbons in Sumatra by terribly torturing himself to the tune of 'I'm In Love For The Very First Time' with the help of plates, bricks, mallets, rakes, weights, giant pliers (recreating the Nutcracker Suite!), sandbags, bowling balls, a hangman's noose etc before finally hammering himself through the floor and exploding spectacularly, only to be upstaged by the mysterious entry of Punkarella before the judges can give him a score.

* Punkarella fleeing the dance up a sweeping staircase as the clock strikes midnight, but not just leaving behind a lousy glass slipper, rather an entire leg!

* The final scene with Tim receiving the hand of the delectable Caroline Kook in marriage, with Graeme getting her upper body and Bill running away triumphantly hoisting her legs into the air!

Jane Asher, Frank Thornton, Michael Barratt, Patrick Moore, Ronnie Brody, Roland Macleod, Vicki Michelle, Selina Ingram, James Muir, Norman Bacon, Barney Carroll, Eddie Davis, Ernie Goodyear

I'm In Love For The Very First Time

A great parody of the punk fashion phenomenon sweeping Britain at the time, also incorporating a classic sendup of Cinderella and two of the very best Goodies musical video clips in 'Shiny Shoes' and 'I'm In Love For The Very First Time'. Even better than being declared 'Officially Amazing'!

BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM:

IIII - Officially amazing.

III - Goody goody yum yum.

II - Fair-y punkmother.

I - Tripe on t' pikelets.

I'm B ... I'm G ... I'm T. We're nice boys!

If you want to know how to judge a guy

Don't look at his shirt, don't look at his tie

If you really want to know him ... (hmm)

Look at his shoes ... sh-shiny shoes!

Don't trust that collar, don't believe that cuff

Smart suspenders is not enough

If you really want to know him ... (hmm)

Look at his shoes ... sh-shiny shoes!

The devil has the smartest shoes, that's what they say

But cop a look at those daisy roots

Oh gawd blimey, what a giveaway!

Shiny shoes show we care, always welcome anywhere

See them sparkle, see them shine

Nice clean shoes means nice clean minds

If you really want to know us ... (hmm)

Look at our shoes ... shoes ... shoes!

Sh-shiny shoes, sh-shiny shoes, sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh- shiny shoes!

Sh-sh-sh-sh-shiny shoes, sh-sh-sh-sh-shiny shoes

Gimme those, gimme those, gimme those shoes!

Sh-sh-sh-sh-shiny shoes, sh-sh-sh-sh-shiny shoes

Gimme those, gimme those, gimme those shoes!

March Episode Summary – Royal Command

5. GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #26

June 30, 1973 No. 49

The summer months in Britain traditionally bring an influx of vacationers to the seashore. Since Cor!! scheduled their comics to reflect the seasons, The Goodies would see plots revolving around the seaside several times during the summer months of its year-long run. In this outing the plot revolves around the holiday seashore, although the locale quickly changes to a more original setting, that of an airport.