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GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #38 – BABY SAMBA
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
WHO?
After the previous music review of "Spring Spring Spring", Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay) had no sooner finished throwing her window high and letting the good clean air refresh her room after all those stale puns and mouldy jokes when a quick tiptoe through her garden sweet in squelchy wellie boots brought her undone in a big way. An unfortunate tumble into the blind mole's nocturnal hole ("aaargh, wrong hole!", not that he was complaining too much!) not only made the hyena laugh and the cockatoo blow her a raspberry, but ensured that she wouldn't be "spring spring springing" around anywhere until at least next fall (which is what the vulture on her shoulder is *really* waiting for!)
Meanwhile Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) had been patiently waiting at the back of the very long queue in the meadow to feel the springs of joy, while also giving that five-baa gate and its contents a few rather sheepish glances as well out of shear baa-dom. However like all of the other little boys in the queue, he started growing pimples and when he gave one of them a big squeeze he blew his head clean off. It had been hoped that this mind-blowing incident might have actually raised his IQ to a number higher than his shoe size but regrettably he has since replaced his ugly mug with a Nicholas Parsons mask, leaving a trail of displaced wigs and extremely annoyed fish in his wake right across the countryside. So before he decides to make a late entry for the Trendsetters Ball, we'll immediately cross to the Loch Jaw School's Way Outward Bound Amazon Campus and your diaper-bolical DJs with their review of "BABY SAMBA" by The Goodies.
WHERE? WHEN?
"Baby Samba " can be heard on the 70s albums "The New Goodies LP" and "The Goodies Greatest Hits", plus the CD "Yum Yum – The Very Best Of The Goodies"
WHAT?
Lyrics: sung by Bill with the initial narration by Tim
(Narration:) Once upon a time, not a long time ago … well, quite a long time ago actually, there were three adorable little babies, the most adorable little babies you ever did see. It was us actually and we were sitting in our prams outside a supermarket while our boring old mothers were buying Jenson interceptors, caviar, New Goodies LP, that sort of thing. Well we got bored, so little Graeme, he started tapping his rusk on the side of his pram. Then Timbo, talented Timbo, started shaking his rattle, and then William, he joined in on his toy drum, regular clever dick, wasn't he?! Anyway despite him, we got a whole thing going …
Shake a rattle, shake a bella, shake a string of peas
Shake yourself and keep the rhythm, that is all it needs
Every baby does the samba, when he shakes that thing
Long before he's started talking, he has learned to sing
[CHORUS]
(Poochy poochy poochy poo) I've got a song to play
(Poochy poochy poochy poo) I sing a lot of the day
(Poochy poochy poochy poo) It's so easy to do
(Poochy poochy poochy poo) Da-da
From Brazil to Venezuela, London to Peru
Baby talk's a common language, anyone can do
Take a lesson from the baby, listen to a song
And with just a little practice, you can sing along
[REPEAT CHORUS – with final line of (Poochy poochy poochy poo) Ooh!]
Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, [baby talk]
Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, Ba-ba-ba- baby samba, [baby talk]
(Narration:) Then little William picked up his toy whistle and began to play.
[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
Shake a rattle, shake a bella, shake a string of peas
Shake yourself and keep the rhythm, that is all it needs
Every baby does the samba, when he shakes that thing
Long before he's started talking, he has learned to sing
[REPEAT CHORUS – with final line of (Poochy poochy poochy poo) One more time!]
[REPEAT CHORUS]
[Harmonies of "Poochy poochy poochy poo" and "Ba-ba-ba- baby samba" with additional comments such as "Are those your sisters?", "They're something", "I don't like them" etc as the sound fades]
WHY?
(Peaches Stiletto):
Babies . . . love 'em or not, you gotta admit that these mini-people in plastic pants have it pretty good. They're fed, they're cradled to sleep . . . they don't even have sit on the toilet to do their doo dahs! Their servants-in-waiting are willing to handle even that end of things. So it's no surprise that babies have plenty to dance about; they're just so happy they have it made (either that or they might be suffering from a bout of diaper rash, which would make them equally antsy.) Bill Oddie seems to have tuned into what babies are really all about . . . bottles and boogie! Turns out that they're little meaningless gyrations actually have a great deal of depth and soul, and man can they shake their rattles! While moms may play Bach or Brahams toward their wombs in the hopes of creating another Einstein, the kicks and turns within prove beyond a doubt that babies would prefer to be soothed with Latin rhythms instead. And after being cooped up in cramped quarters for nine months, they gotta move, and the waltz just isn't gonna do it. As tiny Tim, bitty Bill and gram-sized Graham explain in this pint-sized ditty, anyone can let loose and shake, shake, shake their groove thing to a samba beat. Don't have a rattle? Use your car keys! You'll find the Baby Samba quite liberating. It's just a shame such talented tykes have woefully negligent mothers . . . leaving their babies in prams outside the supermarket while they're shopping? I think child protective services would like to hear more about that! Maybe these tiny tots would do better being exploited on Pop Idol. Poochy poochy poo . . . take that, Simon!
(Emperor Caligula):
Forgive me if I seem a bit rattled, but this is the one and only Goodies song that makes me go (goo goo) ga-ga, but in a less than enjoyable manner, I kid you tot. While I've rash-ionalised that the long-winded intro is sort of (teddy) bear-able, it's the endless sugary burbles of "Poochy poochy poochy poo" that most sticks on my nerves like stale baby puke does on the back car seat. I'm afraid this song would have me screaming and crying throughout the night like a delinquent infant if I had to listen to it with any great frequency; in fact it'd definitely send me (to the) potty. Where's Sergeant Major Bullcock to bellow "Baaaabies! Shut Up!!" when you desperately need him!
Admittedly it does have the odd redeeming feature such as the catchy samba-styled instrumental break, although even this conjures up images of toothless tykes in loudly-patterned bibs and long-legged white nappies shaking maraccas and tinkling away at (or all over) the piano. No doubt they'd be gurgling out South American favourites such as "I Go To Wee-O" and a little bit of "Mama # 5" … or is that "Nappy Lotion # 9" …? Who knows, I haven't learned to count on all my pinkies yet either!
Anyway without wishing to be (or have) a wet blanket or to seem like a grumpy old curmudgeon, it's my least favourite Goodies song and I'll cry if I want to (Waaahh!) whenever I have the misfortune to listen to it. Honestly though, I really love babies … but I couldn't possibly eat a whole one!
HOW!
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
IIII Officially Amazing (Peaches Stiletto)
I Tripe On t'Pikelets (Emperor Caligula)
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially Amazing.
III - Goody Goody Yum Yum.
II - Fair-y Punkmother.
I - Tripe on t' Pikelets.
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