Index

» Censored Scenes ABC
» Cuts To Commonwealt...

SPECIAL FEATURE

(from C&G #49  November 2000)

ANDREW PIXLEY, Cult TV historian and author, contributor to TV Zone magazine and C&G reader recently uncovered the script to episode 2-2 of The Goodies, "The Commonwealth Games". Below is the script of the extracts removed by the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) censor in the early 70s. The censored 16mm film copy broadcast by the ABC at this time is now the only existing print of this episode.

CUT #1

This comes after the Minister turns at the office door and says "The Sex Test".

(The Minister opens the door to reveal - on CSO - a bedroom.)

MINISTER: Ah yes, this will do. (Indicates door.) Gentlemen, will you file in there one at a time please?

(The old MPs get up and move towards the room. The Minister crosses back to the front door and opens it.)

MINISTER: Miss Foster?

(Miss Foster comes in wearing a revealing shortie nightie, followed by two workmen. She goes to the bedroom door.)

MISS FOSTER: First one please.

(Fade to black - Music Link - Fade up with Caption: "A Little While Later"

- The two workmen emerge from the bedroom carrying one of the MPs between them. They add him to the heap of other MPs in the corner. They are followed by Miss Foster, straightening her hair. She moves over to the waiting Minister and hands him a report.)

MINISTER: Thank you Miss Foster.

The scene cuts back in at this point as the Minister says "Failed?" as he reads. "Yes, sir - all of them," says Miss Foster.

CUT #2

MINISTER: But, I mean didn't any of them try to...I mean...didn't they even...I mean...none of them?

(The Secretary whispers to him.)

MINISTER: No no, that doesn't count.

MISS FOSTER: Then I'm afraid none of them....

The scene cuts back in at this point as Miss Foster's line ends "have passed, sir."  The scene then proceeds uncut with the Minister persuading the Goodies to be the new team up to the point where Miss Foster whispers to the Minister about the Goodies and the Sex Test. We see shots of Graeme and Bill, and then Tim, reacting.

CUT #3

MINISTER: What, all three of them?

MISS FOSTER: Yes, sir.

MINISTER: You didn't, did you? This morning? Well - I didn't even get a cup of tea. All right, gentlemen...

The scene cuts back in as the Minister continues: "... that's settled then."