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BILL ODDIE/GOODIE FLAVOR
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(from C&G 143 - October 2007)
By Denise M. Baran-Unland
Special to the Clarion & Globe
Author's note: This story was written solely for the amusement the Goodies Rule OK fan club members. All information and quotes were used word for word or modified slightly from a variety of Goodies episodes. I did not interview Bill Oddie for this story.
Goody Goody Yum Yum?
With Tim Brooke-Taylor busy writing political speeches and Graeme Garden inventing kitten growth mixture, flying bunnies to the moon or breeding inanimate objects, the mundane life tasks such as cooking for the trio often falls to Bill Oddie.
Yet whether he prepares daffodils over an open fire, plates of creamed furniture to his starving mates or four course meals to guinea pigs, Oddie often feels as if his best efforts are less than appreciated.
"They're great to cook for, they are," Oddie said. "Once, for two hours I slaved over a hot campfire and all they did is moan, moan, moan. I remember the last time Tim cooked dinner. Cornflakes! And they were burnt."
Now, 30 years later, Oddie is sharing some of his favorite recipes for fans who wish to prepare some "Goodie" dishes of their own. But he warns the less experienced in the culinary arts about cooking's downside: the inevitable and unavoidable cleaning up that accompanies it.
"It's always me that has to do the washing up," Oddie said with a sigh. "Good grief! Look at my hands. It seems as if they are always in hot water. They're so unsightly. You know, I'm ashamed even to let people see them."
The Bill Oddie Culinary File:
Favorite food: "Lemon sherbet and Mars bars."
Food dislike: "Anything round. Harmed animals."
Favorite cookbook: The Natural Health Cookbook printed on brown whole mill paper in brown whole mill ink. It's extremely healthy and delicious."
Most innovative meal: "Soggy lettuce and potato peelings."
Culinary disaster: "Shampooed the joint and put the cat in the oven. A bit grisly, but otherwise delicious."
Bill Oddie Favorite Recipes/Goodie Flavor
By Denise M. Baran-Unland
Special to the Herald News
08/12/07 everything fresh all natural and pure
Bill Oddie's All Natural Goody Dinner:
Bill's tip: "Health foods are all right when you're not hungry."
Ingredients:
Brown whole mill bread
Brown rice
Brown milk
Brown lettuce
Imperial Sultana roast
Seaweed salad, unwashed
One worm (for protein)
Soil
Honey
One bee or wasp
Watercress for garnish (optional)
Plankton
Purchase bread and rice from health food store. Slice bread carefully to avoid loss of essential vitamins and cook rice minimally according to package directions. Leave milk and lettuce exposed to the natural elements until they turn the desired shade of brown.
Gently heat sultana to preserve vitamins. Plate the seaweed salad. Scoop soil straight from garden, making certain not to skimp on portion size. "All goodness comes from the soil," Bill said. "It's very nourishing, this."
Carefully mix the worm into the soil and top with optional watercress. Scoop honey out of hive; mix with bee. Do not substitute sugar for the honey. "It's extremely unhealthy," Oddie said. If you choose not to use the bee, stew it for tomorrow's lunch, he added.
Lastly, gently puree plankton and pour into glass. Yield: Serves one man for three days or three men for one day.
Cecily's Egg and Cheese Savory Pie:
2 eggs
4 slabs frozen short crust pastry
Additional flour
One good-sized chunk Cheddar cheese
Crack eggs into bowl. Beat eggs first with a wooden spoon held in center of bowl, then place bowl in center of the turntable of a record player and turn the machine on. Beat eggs well and set aside. Mold pastry into shape by banging it on the table or your leg, biting it or thawing it over indirect heat on stove. Place softened dough into bowl, flour slightly and shape into urn while spinning on the turntable. Dump egg mixture into urn and add one chunk of cheese. Pour onto average size dinner plate. Yield: Serves one 12 year old girl.
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