Index
» Sep 2007
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* THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE *
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* THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
Issue No. 142 12th September 2007
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
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EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- the end, Graeme Garden, Wackywales, cscamp
CONTENTS
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1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #2 – Newsreaders As The Headline Act
6. GOODIES WORDFINDER
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
***************
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
QUOTE: "I got it at the Balmoral jumble sale. It's almost perfect except for a little wet rot in the left leg where the corgis used it!"
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) What item is he referring to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Scoutrageous"
(d) How many years has Tim gone through his regular Thursday night ritual for?
(e) Who does Graeme describe as "A job lot for the undertakers!"?
(f) For which scouting badge does Graeme use a Nicholas Parsons mask to help him obtain it?
(g) Who do Bill and Graeme promise to blow up if they achieve their World Domination Badge?
(h) Which organisation does Tim join after being humiliated as a scout?
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
2. BOFFO IDEAS
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You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
WEBSITE POLLS
Last month's poll of Goody places to park your disused railway station got a fairly even spread of results, but in the end the prospect of five years of light house keeping on the North Sea narrowly triumphed over a London suburb in which "nothing ever happens there, no-one's going anywhere" with the final tally looking like this:
In which Goodies-inspired location would you like to live?
- The Jolly Rock Lighthouse 43 votes
- A disused railway station 30 votes
- August Bank Holiday Island 8 votes
- On the moon with Big Bunny 14 votes
- Inside a t-rex 9 votes
- In a 350 foot high block of concrete 8 votes
- Dr Garden's Home for Clapped-Out Animals 22 votes
- Cricklewood 38 votes
- other 3 votes
- with Little Rolf in the Star Safari Park 21 votes
Total: 196 votes
This month's poll concerns what you consider to be the most difficult challenge that the Goodies faced. Was it trying to keep a straight face while making Desiree Carthorse's "Gender Education" film? Or maybe trying to decipher Eddie Waring's rugby commentary? Anyway hop along to the website and cast your vote now. You know it makes sense!
What do you think was the Goodies' toughest challenge?
- stopping Twinkle from destroying London
- bouncing round the world on spacehoppers
- stopping the Music Master's evil schemes
- battling the puppet government
- escaping from a dinosaur's stomach
- disposing of a huge tin of "tomato soup"
- singing Funky Gibbon on Top Of The Pops
- getting the BBC to repeat "The Goodies"
- other
- dealing with the plague of Rolf Harrises
3. SPOTTED!!!
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More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
ALL SORTS OF GOODIES
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 15th Aug)
Here are a few articles you might find of interest. Thanks to club member the end for information about two of the three.
2. An article from The Daily Express (http://www2.dailyexpress.co.uk/features/view/15953 ) about Michael Aspel's planned retirement talks about his diverse career, including the following: "He guest-starred twice on The Goodies‚though Bill Oddie did not return the favour. Years later when Aspel approached him, big red book in hand and uttered the famous line: "Bill Oddie, this is your life", Oddie replied: "No it f****** isn't." [Bill actually did agree to appear on "This is Your Life, despite his initial refusal]
3. A Courier-Mail article about singer Jade MacRae (http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,22184808-5003421,00.html ) mentions her father David MacRae's connection to The Goodies (her mother Joy Yates also worked with the trio): "MacRae grew up in a musical household. Her mum is respected New Zealand jazz singer Joy Yates and her dad is master pianist David MacRae. Her father was invited to work as music director for the British TV show The Goodies, after striking up a friendship with comic actor Bill Oddie in the 1970s. (They met on Bill Oddie's birthday, in fact, 07/07/77, where David MacRae was performing at 7pm at Seven Dials in London.)"
COMEDY CONNECTIONS
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 5th Sep)
* Fri, 7 Sept - The "Comedy Connections" episode about The Goodies is being repeated on UKTV Gold at 3:10am and again on Tues, 18 Sept at 1:40am. UKTV Gold Plus 1 will repeat the show one hour after each UKTV Gold airing. Please check your local listings to confirm the broadcast details.
PLEASE ... TAKE TONY BLACKBURN!
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 5th Sep)
Tony Blackburn's just published an autobiography in the UK ("Tony Blackburn Poptastic!: My Life in Radio"). Has anyone had a chance to check it out to see if the Goodies are mentioned?
I'M GONNA GO PUNK. (MIND IF I OPEN A WINDOW?!)
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
According to http://shaolinpunk.net/?p=19 , the Melbourne Fringe 2007 will include a fictional play about the Goodies. Below is the text from that page and the press release to which it links.
A Record or an OBE to debut in Melbourne Fringe 2007 Posted by: Benjamin in Melbourne Fringe, news, theatre
"I would like to thank the other two Goodies, but I really can't. It would have been so much easier without them."
So wrote Bill Oddie in the liner notes for the late 90s greatest hits album "Yum Yum - The Very Best of The Goodies", and it was all tongue in cheek.
But what if it wasn't? What if, in 1975, Bill had decided to pursue his dream of a real rock career - and left Tim and Graeme in the lurch?
That's the premise of Shaolin Punk's first production, A Record or an OBE, to be performed at the 2007 Melbourne Fringe Festival. Written and produced by Ben McKenzie, directed by Scott Gooding and starring McKenzie and Rob Lloyd as Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, OBE is a twenty-five minute black comedy exploring the unique dynamics of creative partnerships, and the strain the breakup of a comedy group has on the relationships between its members. It's also a tribute to the greatest comedy trio ever to come out of the United Kingdom, and the era of comedy which spawned them.
A Record or an OBE will be performed at Caz Reitops Dirty Secrets for the last week of Fringe in early October. See the press release or watch this site for more details.
A Record or an OBE
"I would like to thank the other two Goodies, but I really can't. It would have been so much easier without them." - Bill Oddie
It's 1975, and the Goodies are at the height of their career. On the eve of their next series, Bill Oddie, frustrated rocker, has ditched Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor to seek the rock stardom of which he's always dreamed, leaving them as two-thirds of a comedy triple act. Can they go on without him? Do they even want to? The stage is set for a break-up and break-down like no other.
A Record or an OBE is a new "what-if" one-act comedy exploring the nature of artistic and comedic collaboration, and the emotional fallout when a group of friends comes apart. Performed in the cosy basement of Caz Reitops Dirty Secrets in the Goodies' old half-hour ABC timeslot, it's also a lovingly playful nod to one of the most influential comedy groups to ever make an impact on Australian culture, an affectionate exercise in imagining how it could have all gone wrong.
A Record or an OBE is collaborative project directed by Scott "Ecky-Thump" Gooding (Caresses, After the Rain) starring Rob "I'm a teapot" Lloyd (Hound of the Baskervilles - "an explosion of energy, laughs and incredible talent", the Groggy Squirrel) as Tim Brooke-Taylor and Ben "megalomaniac" McKenzie (Science-ology - "vibrant, educational and funny", The Age) as Graeme Garden. McKenzie is also producer and lead writer.
A Record or an OBE
Caz Reitops Dirty Secrets
Tuesday to Saturday, October 6th to 13th @ 6pm Preview Friday October 5th
Tickets $10/$5
Publicity contact: Ben McKenzie, 0401 870 404 or ben@shaolinpunk.net
Here's the booking info for anyone interested in attending the show.
Tickets go on sale at 2pm on Thursday September 6. From that date, they can be purchased online at melbournefringe.com.au, by phone on 03 8412 8777, or in person at the Fringe Ticketing & Information Centre at Federation Square. Tickets will also be available at the door (unless the performance has sold out).
4. 2001 AND A BIT
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If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
** (All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited) **
BILL SPOTTINGS
* various - "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" is being repeated on UKTV Gardens on various days and at various times - please check your local listings for details.
(12th Aug)
(15th Aug)
* Guardian article about Bill & Birdfair
...and just to prove all those ISIHAC jokes correct, The Guardian made a typo by calling the event "Birdfare" (you can visit the event's website, http://www.birdfair.org.uk/ , to confirm to correct spelling). ;)
(19th Aug)
* Sat, 25 Aug - "100 Years of Wildlife Films" hosted by Bill on BBC 4 from 2:10-4:10pm. The show will be repeated that evening at 9:05pm and again on Aug 30th at 3:30pm and Aug 31st at 5:55pm. Here's a listing: "From the most memorable wildlife films and rare cinematic gems, to amateur footage and the poignant last shots of vanished animals, Bill Oddie explores 100 years of wildlife filming. The documentary looks at how societal attitudes towards wildlife have shaped film-making - from hunting and safaris in the 1930s to a fresh-faced David Attenborough leaping on to animals to catch them for zoos in the 1950s."
(22nd Aug)
* Mon, 27 Aug - "Mark Lawson Talks To..." Bill Oddie is being repeated on BBC 4 at 8:00-9:00pm
(22nd Aug)
* Mon, 27 Aug - "Wogan: Now And Then" on UKTV Gold at 11:15pm. This episode has "The best moments from Terry Wogan's chat show. Included in the line-up: Dancer Michael Flately, national treasure Julie Walters, Goodie turned bird fancier Bill Oddie and comedian and now actor to boot – Johnny Vegas."
(22nd Aug)
* Fri, 7 Sept - "Bill Oddie's Top 10 Birds" is being repeated on BBC 2 at 19:30.
(5th Sep)
* Sat, 22 Sept - "Top 50 Greatest Celebrity Animals" with Bill will be repeated on Sky One and Sky One HD at 12:00-14:00
(10th Sep)
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
(12th Aug)
(12th Aug)
(13th Aug)
* Many thanks to Graeme Garden for the following news:
"We're deep into prep for the Clue tour which is looming alarmingly close now!
I thought you might also like to know that this week Tim and I are recording episodes of Dr Who for audio CD and BBC7 broadcast - don't know when yet.
I did mine on Monday with Paul McGann and Sheridan Smith as the Doctor and Lucie. Also in the cast were James Fleet, Nick Brimble, Samantha Hughes and Duncan James. The ep is called 'Max Warp' and I play a sort of inter-galactic Jeremy Clarkson! It was really good fun!
Tim does his on Friday - it's called 'The Zygon who fell to Earth' and Tim plays a Zygon, of course."
(15th Aug)
* I've just noticed that BBC7 is repeating "Spy Nozy and the Poets" today. This drama stars Bill Nighy, Martin Clunes and Graeme Garden. It'll air at 9.15pm today and 2.15am tomorrow morning. The broadcast from 10.15am today is already available from Listen Again at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listenagain/tuesday/rams/1015.ram
(21st Aug)
* BBC 7 is repeating the first series of "The Right Time" on Tuesdays starting today. Graeme appeared in some episodes of this sketch comedy series which originally aired on BBC Radio 4 in 2001.
(28th Aug)
TIM SPOTTINGS
* The "At Last the 1948 Show" album, which was originally issued in 1967 by Pye Records, is being released on CD in the UK and the US. The album contains sketches & songs from the television series which starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Marty Feldman, & Aimi Macdonald.
The UK release date is August 20th. The CD will be available from major retailers such as Amazon.co.uk and Play.com.
In the US, Amazon.com lists an August 28th release date and a price of $22.99. Online retailer DeepDiscount.com (formerly known as DeepDiscountDVD & DeepDiscountCD) shows an August 20th release date and is selling the CD for the substantially lower price of $12.40 (plus free shipping in the US).
Please let us know if you spot the CD on sale from any Australian merchants.
Here is the CD's track listing:
Bookshop
Sheep Dog Trials
Brief Interrogation
The Wonderful World Of The Ant
Rural Farm (Dialect)
Witch Restaurant
Top Of The Form
Someone Has Stolen The News
One Man Battle
Doctor Sketch (Crowded Waiting Room / Skinny Legs)
Minister Who Falls To Pieces
Do You Want To Match This Description?
Engine Driver Spriggs
The Four Sydney Lotterbies
Beekeeping
The Ferret Song (Studio Version)
Public Opinion
The Rhubarb Tart Song
(20th Aug)
* The following short article about "At Last the 1948 Show" appeared in the London newspaper The Independent on September 7, 2007 in the "cult classics" section. Let's see how long it takes for one of you to spot the error... ;)
---
'At Last the 1948 Show', 1967
Starring future Flying Circus faces John Cleese and Graham Chapman, At Last the 1948 Show was, in effect, Monty Python before Monty Python. First broadcast in March 1967, the groundbreaking show stemmed from David Frost's plan to provide comic contributors to his Frost Report.
Originally, Cleese and Chapman were to star in their own separate series, but agreed to collaborate. The team was completed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Marty Feldman. Many of their sketches have been etched into the national comedy consciousness, notably the clan of Aussies, all called Sydney Lotterby, and "The Four Yorkshiremen", both later revived by the Pythons.
In the latter, the quartet up the ante on each other, by expostulating on their "poor but happy" childhoods. "We had it tough," brags Brooke-Taylor as the new-moneyed Northerner, before disgorging a litany of abuse. Delivered deadpan, sketches such as this changed the face of British comedy and earned the show a cult reputation.
In between the appearance of now-familiar comedy characters, female support was provided by Aimi MacDonald, who delivered Pythonesque "And now..." links between the sketches.
Robert Webb
(10th Sep)
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
* Mondays - BBC 7 airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme). Each episode is available via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. The show can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 on the day of broadcast as well as for six days afterwards using Listen Again.
(12th Aug)
* Saturdays - "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", on ABC Radio National at 5:30. This 1960's sketch comedy series starred with all three Goodies plus John Cleese, Jo Kendall, & David Hatch (info at http://www.abc.net.au/rn/comedy/default.htm )
(12th Aug)
* A new audio cassette entitled "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - In Search of Mornington Crescent" will be released by BBC Audiobooks on 1st October 2007. The CD features the regular cast of ISIHAC, with contributions from various qualified commentators, including Andrew Marr, Barry Davies, Sir Michael Gambon and Dame Judi Dench. It is available now to pre-order from www.bbcshop.com and all good street and online audio retailers, and to download from 15th October via www.bbcaudiozone.com and all good audio download retailers.
(15th Aug)
* Thanks to cscamp for this info.
BBC 7 has been repeating the series "Radio Fun: Story of Radio Comedy" on Sundays. They've finally gotten up to the 1960's; the episode that aired this past Sunday (August 26th) includes clips from "Cambridge Circus" and "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again". The show can be heard from Listen Again through this Sunday at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listenagain/sunday/rams/1200.ram
It's worth listening to the next few episodes (there are three more left in the series) for additional ISIRTA or ISIHAC clips.
(30th Aug)
* Sun, 9 Sept - "Radio Fun: The Story of Radio Comedy" on BBC 7 at 12:00 to 12:30. This episode is supposed to cover "From the hugely influential I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, right up to Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy."
(5th & 10th Sep)
* Mondays starting 10 Sept - The first series of "Hamish & Dougal" is being repeated on BBC 7 at 22:45. The show can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 on the day of broadcast as well as for six days afterwards using Listen Again.
(5th Sep)
The CD will be released on October 1st. Here's the description from Amazon: "Mornington Crescent is a game whose rules and history are shrouded in myth and mystery. Now, in this extended version of a spoof documentary first aired on BBC Radio 4, the team from "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" research shine a light in the dark. As if that wasn't enough, Humphrey Lyttelton, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Barry Cryer also provide readings from two learned books on the subject: "The Little Book of Mornington Crescent" and "Stovold's Mornington Crescent Almanac". From Roman times to Chaucer and beyond, "Mornington Crescent" has become a legend in its own tube stop. Now, at last, its true history can be told."
(5th Sep)
ISIHAC TOUR PUBLICITY
Thanks to wackywales for posting two interviews, one with Tim and one with Barry Cryer, about the ISIHAC tour in the forums.
Here are the links:
Tim's interview
Barry's interview
(24th Aug)
ISIHAC TOUR REVIEWS
Here are three reviews of the "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" tour, one from thisisnottingham.co.uk, another from someone's blog and one from The Times.
** Please note that the blog entry and the article from The Times contain spoilers.**
REVIEW #1 - from
SURE-FIRE DEVICES TO RAISE BELLY LAUGHS
09:00 - 10 September 2007
There is still a place for parlour games in the 21st Century - and this was the sell-out show to prove it.
Not a ticket to be had - hardly a surprise for a phenomenon that's been incredibly popular on the radio for more than 35 years.
Fans of I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue, need no introduction to the format and personnel.
But with a cast of comic veterans Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden, with Barry Cryer, and relative newcomer Jeremy Hardy, it's easy to work out exactly where this self-styled antidote to panel games pitches itself on the comedy scale.
Humphrey Lyttelton is the chairman, with Colin Sell at the piano. But the lovely Samantha was sadly absent, her excuses ranging from buttering up a pensioner in Beeston to helping a City Hospital anaesthetist with his patients and watching him knocking one out in front of her.
Not so much near the knuckle, rather the kind of rudeness that can just about get onto Radio 4 and Radio 7, where the show has its home.
The performers are on the road thanks to the demand of the fans, yet the tour is apparently unrelated to the BBC - the shows won't be broadcast and it seems the corporation was a little tetchy in releasing the brand name for the venture.
But the momentum is unstoppable: panel game favourites such as Mornington Crescent, one song to the tune of another, verbal charades, updated proverbs and more reduced the audience to belly laughs and tears of mirth, and everything in-between.
The crowd was easy to crack??? a bit like the best man's speech, when you can't really lose. Still, no points are awarded and there's no winner.
Except the audience.
___
** WARNING - CONTAINS SPOILERS!!! **
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
I've been listening to ISIHAC on the radio for a few years now and have managed to get though a fair amount of the programs over its 25 years on air.
For those not in the know it's a panel based comedy thing that's described as the antidote to panel games due to its irrelevant and off the wall humour which is sometimes scripted, sometimes improvised.
Still providing the laughs after all these years are ex-Goodies Tim Brooke-Taylor (67) and Graeme Garden (64) (who I saw do their own show recently).
Comedy writer Barry Cryer (72) is also still there after a lengthy time along with chairman of the proceedings Humphrey Lyttelton who is a sprightly 86, although during the second half he had a few senior moments as he got his cards mixed up and needed help from the producer. In addition to these old turns was regular guest panellist Jeremy Hardy (46).
The evening was described as a kind of best of ISIHAC which meant that a lot of gags from the years were used along with some new ones to keep things fresh.
One of the old ones included:
"Nottingham is a fine city with a fascinating history. It's well documented in official records that the city's original name was 'Snottingham', or 'Home of Snots', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham' or the 'Home of Notts'. It's easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe."
Over 2 lots of hours they were given plenty of silly things to do some including Colin Sell on the piano as they sang One Song To The Tune Of Another, one of them being 'Girlfriend In A Coma' to the tune of 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips'.
Highlights included Sound Charades where the teams had to give clues to a movie or book etc. Graeme & Barry's creations of Hamish & Dougal were given a welcome cheer as they passed wind while walking up a brae for Braveheart (Brae fart, geddit).
The Uxbridge English Dictionary is one of the funniest for me as the panel
come up with new definitions for words usually with a second delay before the laughs as the crowds figures the joke out. I liked Jerermy's: Sanctity - French woman with many breasts.
Mornington Crescent is a game that makes no sense, and isn't meant to. The team members say the names of tube stations that are meant to have relevance to each other, but don't. This time a sat nav device was in use by the team and had the woman's voice telling them things like Ran over cyclist – 20 points, and can you stop at McDonalds I need a pee, and I love Jeremy, and why can't you be more like Jeremy.
Group karaoke attempted to get the entire audience to hum a song in order for the panel to guess it. But as most of the crowd were shy and the rest out of sync it was tough for them to guess Bohemian Rhapsody until some brave girls near the front upped the volume.
The team ended the evening with a rendition of 'I Can Do Anything Better Than You' played on the swanee whistle and kazoo which lead into Humph showing us what his real job is when he played his jazz trumpet. A nice end to 2 hours of laughs.
Usually every half a year the gang would perform at 3 venues recording 2 episodes for the radio at each. But this time they were on their first ever non recorded mini tour for 35 years. I've read that if it was a success then a longer one might be coming in 2008. If so I'll be there.
There were people of all ages there including some young kids who I think would have been very lost in this world of sophisticated word play and sexual innuendo from Humph as he received the reasons why their (non existent) scorer Samantha couldn't be there.
I think it's one of those things where you have to know a bit of the history to be fully amused but could probably get by without. All I know is that at some points there was a definite tear of laughter in my eye.
___
REVIEW #3:
Here's a cut & paste of the text:
The Times
September 12, 2007
I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Live
Dominic Maxwell at Royal and Derngate, Northampton
As theatrical spectacles go, it's spectacularly untheatrical. Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor have taken this "antidote to panel games" on the road for the first time in its 35 years as Radio 4's flagship comedy show. They sit behind tables, flanking their gloomy 86-year-old chairman Humphrey Lyttelton. Nobody moves much.
But the crowd, most of them younger than the Goodies but older than the fourth panellist, Jeremy Hardy, greet these grizzled veterans as if they were rock stars. And laughs flow like water for the next two hours in a peculiar but effective greatest-hits set of games and routines from the past
ten years.
The radio show is less spontaneous than it sometimes sounds. But this show doesn't just feature familiar joke-butts - Quote/Unquote, Bill Oddie, the Post Office, Lionel Blair - but also familiar jokes. It's a format that merrily mocks the spurious seriousness of quizzes. But with so many old gags - and even feigned ignorance, such as when the teams guess each other's Sound Charades - the spark of the radio show is dampened.
Still, even in a partisan crowd, most people won't remember much of this stuff. And the games are perfectly chosen. The tone-deaf Hardy sings an a capella Thank You for the Music. Garden and Cryer act out a scene from The Importance of Being Earnest as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader. Brooke-Taylor performs the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally on swanee whistle. Mornington Crescent is greeted like a beloved Number One single. And they end with one of their best-ever set-pieces, Quiz of Quizzes, which parodies every TV quiz going. Glorious.
Chairman Humph, peering at his cue cards, is not what you'd call dynamic. But there's no finer reader of a line. "If I'd ever known, 86 years ago, that I was going to be sitting here reading this codswallop," he tells us, "then I'd have climbed right back in." He brings out his trumpet at the end to play We'll Meet Again. A standing ovation ensues.
There are some efforts to make it a live event, but not many. They could reinstate some risk, communicate more to the crowd. But finally the sheer quantity of good jokes here trounces all other concerns. There's something about these wise-cracking old blokes that can overcome all defences.
Next show Monday, Tunbridge Wells Assembly Hall (01892 530613). Tour details
(12th Sep)
ISIHAC TOUR DATES
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #2
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(by Brett Allender)
NEWSREADERS AS THE HEADLINE ACT
The Goodies specialize in marrying together unlikely themes to produce brilliant comedy; for example, boy scouts and the Salvation Army, martial arts and northern customs, and Frankenstein and the Crufts dog show, just to name a few. (Not forgetting the marrying together of Tim and Prince Charles in "Scatty Safari" by any means either!) Similarly it is the unlikely combination of genuine BBC news presenters and humourous news and current affairs reports that frequently produce moments of comedy gold throughout the run of the show.
The main exponent is the late Corbet Woodall who was a newsreader with the BBC until the late 1960s before fulfilling this role in a number of British comedies including The Goodies. His long battle with rheumatoid arthritis prevented him from appearing in even more Goodies episodes than the 11 that he managed and he died in 1982; the year that The Goodies finished their run on LWT.
Michael Barratt was also a BBC broadcaster and long-running host of the current affairs show "Nationwide", and he too makes a handful of very memorable appearances as Nationwide host and BBC newsreader in The Goodies. Both Woodall and Barrett are sometimes cast as straight-faced newsreaders delivering stories where someone else is doing something silly, but more often than not they are an integral and hilarious part of the nuttiness that is taking place at the time.
Corbet Woodall first appears in the second Goodies episode "Snooze", where Graeme's new improved bedtime drink has put the whole country to "sleepy bo-boes". The Goodies switch on the TV to check the BBC News bulletin only to get a slow drawn-out theme and an image of Woodall fast asleep at his newsdesk. Then later after the Goodies have accidentally dumped a barrel of Snooze antidote into the water supply, we see Woodall starting to read the news at a normal pace until he coughs and excuses himself to reach for a glass of water. Despite Tim's faraway panicked plea of "Don't touch the water!", Woodall takes a sip and resumes reading at a quicker speed. Further sips find him rattling through various news items of people doing things amazingly quickly at an ever-increasing speed himself until he finally jumps out of his chair, beats his chest like Tarzan and tears off around the room to Tim's wail of "The whole country's gone completely loony!"
Woodall's bulletin in "Pollution" is short but amusing as he finds himself gradually engulfed by smog in the studio as he reads a report decreeing that air quality experts say there's nothing to be alarmed about. Likewise his report in "Kitten Kong" is quite brief, however he introduces reporter Michael Aspel who covers the iconic images of Twinkle toppling the Post Office Tower and lifting the dome on St. Pauls before creating an equally memorable image himself when he is flattened by a huge furry paw at the end of his report.
"The Music Lovers" produces a typically inspired wacky news report as shortly after Kenneth McKellar's "Songs Of The Highlands" is rudely interrupted by him being abducted, we hear Woodall's voice in the background of a blank screen: "Well we seem to be having a little technical trouble in the highlands, so until we can put it right here's some music from the Northern Dance Orchestra … (silence) … Come on then, where are they?! What do you mean, stolen?! All of them? (This draws puzzled looks from the Goodies, then a worried-looking Woodall appears on-screen) Ooh hell! Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt this embarrassing silence to bring you a news flash. Reports are just coming in that Rolf Harris has been stolen. And now some bad news …!"
The news report from "Goodies and The Beanstalk" is also surreal comedy genius at work. Woodall is just delivering the news that "The beanstalk is apparently growing all over the country" when he gives an anguished yell as a bathtub containing two women and all three Goodies is propelled through the news studio by the rampant beanstalk, bumping the newsdesk clear out of camera shot. A couple of puzzled home viewers look at each other in bewilderment as a BBC announcement of "We apologize for the loss of your newsreader" is made. The newsdesk separates from the beanstalk and bathtub out in the street and Woodall is trying desperately to answer his phone as his desk crashes through the wall of the aforementioned couple's house and displaces their TV set. With great professionalism, Woodall dusts himself off and reads the remainder of the news live from the couple's loungeroom as they sit there watching him.
"Clown Virus" sees Woodall reporting that the fumes from the "tomato soup" have covered the whole countryside, even affecting the royal procession (as the Queen blows a party whistle from inside her carriage) and the opening of Parliament (which is now a Big Top-style circus – no change there!). By the time that he reports on the increased buildup of American troops in the Atlantic he is sporting a red nose and a spinning bow tie, and after the Prime Minister is creamed with a custard pie, Woodall is bopped on the head with a mallet and a large bump develops.
The news report in "Lighthouse Keeping Loonies" is a lengthy one that deals with several different stories; all related to the disappearance of the Jolly Rock Lighthouse after Bill has accidentally launched it into the sky, much to Tim's blissful ignorance as he is taking a bath at the time. A UFO is spotted and according to Woodall, "Its speed was estimated by various eyewitnesses as somewhere between 20 and 6000 miles per hour. … (A pilot saw) what appeared to be a humanoid figure through one of the portholes (which) was wearing what he assumed was some kind of space hat made from frilly pink plastic and was carrying a rubber duck. Mr Lars Waltz of the Norwegian 'They've Already Landed' Society claims that this is the standard uniform of the Venusian space fleet. Both Mr Waltz and the pilot have now been locked up!" Other news items include the discovery of a new comet, much to Patrick Moore's delight in trying to spot it in the night sky ("Up a bit, down a bit, across a bit, left a bit, right a bit …") with a sheepish Woodall sprung trying to follow Moore's confusing directions when the camera pans back to him, and also the photofits of two rather shady-looking regal characters who were spotted in the vicinity of the lighthouse just before it vanished.
Sixteen days after the Goodies are trapped inside a block of concrete in "The End", Woodall announces that "Earlier today a special personal message of congratulations was recorded by Her Majesty … (pauses and turns page) … The Queen!" He reappears later in the episode to inform the now-desperate Goodies that due to increased poverty in Britain, work on the Brighton to Birkenhead Freeway (after which they were supposed to be tunnelled out) has been suspended indefinitely, "and finally a service announcement. The BBC has announced a cutback of 100 percent." as the TV screen then goes blank.
Woodall's appearance in "The Goodies Rule OK" special comes right at the very end where in the same vein as the forgotten and forgetful entertainers earlier in the show, he starts reading the news in a female voice before excusing himself, having a sip of water (Snooze antidote-free this time!) and after the appropriate phrase of "I'm sorry, I'll read that again!" announces the news that Britain has a new coalition government who turn out to be puppets controlled by the Goodies.
Woodall only makes two further appearances in the remaining three series of The Goodies at the BBC due to his ill health. One of these is in "Hype Pressure" where Tim the loony TV director calls "Cue the news" and Woodall's announcement that "The pound fell again today" is greeted by a shower of money falling on him. Tim's next order of "And up he goes!" sees the newsdesk rocket up out of sight along with the commentary that "The Chancellor Of The Exchequer again warned today against the dangers of inflation." (and presumably levitation as well!) Woodall's final cameo comes in "Politics" where he interrupts the commercials with a newsflash that Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has discovered a splendid loophole in the tax laws and has retired to the Bahamas, which ultimately clears the way for the political ambitions of Che and Timita.
Michael Barratt first makes an appearance on The Goodies in "Kung Fu Kapers" where, as the host of Nationwide, he reports on "the latest cult to sweep the country; the Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump which has already gained thousands of followers." His story on the spread of Ecky Thump (where even the Prime Minister gets in on the act by clobbering a policeman with a black pudding) is followed by a knowing nod and he puts the question of the cult's popularity to a prominent psychiatrist who is in the studio with him. The psychiatrist barely has time to drone out "Mindless violence is nothing new …" before Barratt produces a black pudding and savagely belts him over his balding head with it. As the stunned psychiatrist slowly sinks from view, an excited Barratt announces "And now, the Archbishop Of Canterbury, ho ho!" as he skips offstage with his black pudding held high at the ready for an unholy confrontation!
Barratt is next sighted in "The Goodies Rule OK" in two separate reports as Nationwide host, firstly discussing the Goodies-inspired bouncing craze which has paralyzed the entire nation and even sees him tied to his chair in a futile bid to stop him bouncing up and down in front of the camera. His second report is perhaps his most brilliant contribution to The Goodies, as he interviews the Prime Minister of the new puppet government – Sooty – in the most splendidly deadpan manner ("I'm sorry, what was that, Prime Minister? You want to play your xylophone?") before coming under attack from Sooty and the Home Secretary Sweep.
The other two appearances by Barratt see him cast as a BBC newsreader, presumably because Corbet Woodall's health was very poor at the time. His newsflash in "Scoutrageous" is a straight-faced and rather brief report about the boy scouts being declared an illegal organization after the Lone Scout's multiple robberies; however it neatly sets up the memorable scenes of Tim being arrested and dragged away to face the intimidating guile of the Scoutfinder General.
Barratt's final Goodies role in "Punky Business" however is an absolute doozy: a punk newsreader. With piercings and chains dangling everywhere, he launches into the bulletin with "Right, here's the [@#$%]'n news!", then spits and proceeds with great gusto (and a stream of bleeped-out profanities) to tell us about "Mary [honk] Whitehouse" and the Festival Of Light's concerns of the "moral decay of this [toot toot] country" and "Mr Tim Brooke [cuckoo]" staging a protest on behalf of the League Of Shiny Shoe Wearers. After seeing footage of Tim being assaulted by punk MPs and police, Barratt picks his nose and thunders "That's the end of the [^&*$] news, so [#$%&]'s to the lotta ya!" and crosses to an equally ferociously punk and rather obnoxious Patrick Moore on "The Sky At Night".
While The Goodies may not have been the first comedy show to use newsreaders in a humourous manner, they certainly set a whole new standard by having two genuine BBC presenters of the quality of Corbet Woodall and Michael Barratt who were prepared to get so fully immersed in such crazy storylines and Goodies-style humour. The show is definitely richer for their wonderful contributions to it throughout each series on the BBC.
Website article & photo gallery:
Next theme (Oct or Nov): Goodies Targets: Max Bygraves & Des O'Connor
6. GOODIES WORDFINDER
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(by Brett Allender)
This puzzle contains hidden words and phrases relating to "The Movies" episode of The Goodies.
Try to find all the listed words in the puzzle. Words may be found horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. Upon completion, the 11 unused letters can be rearranged to form two words (4, 7 letters) - clue: "a character from the Goodies movie"
THE PUZZLE
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WORD LIST
Arrow
Barn
Bognor
Camera
Cut
Die
Director
Dog
Epic
Keaton
Keystone Cops
Macbeth
Movies
Pablo Casals
Pies
Pine Tree
Pocket
Poodles
Roman
Sambo
Silent
Silver Rose
Suit
Truffaut
Warhol
Western
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
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(a) Tim
(b) One of the Queen's old thrones
(c) The New Office
(d) 16 years
(e) Tim's platoon of ancient scouts
(f) The Wig Spotters Badge
(g) Oliver Reed
(h) The Salvation Army
YOUR SCORE:
8 Mastermind Of The Year
7 Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0 Rolf Harris!
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #143: 12th October 2007.
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2007. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN WORD DOCUMENT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the Word mailing list.
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