The Official Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club Website

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 27 12th February 1998

1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.

2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.

3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY #1 - by Brett Allender.

4. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ - More brain teasers from David McAnally.

You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. Mail carrot@auslink.net with your comments, ideas or suggestions.

RE-SCREENING THE GOODIES IN THE UK

Steve Brittain, stevebrittain@clara.net e-mailed me with the suggestion that club members in the UK contact both UK Gold and Paramount Comedy Channel (satellite channels) to try and get them to re-screen The Goodies on UK television. If you'd like to help out, drop Steve a line.

GOODIES T-SHIRTS

There has been a positive reaction to the proposed designs (which you can check out at http://auslink.net/~abeanaaa/tshirt.htm ) so it looks as if we'll be going ahead with one of these designs. We now have some cost information available thanks to Marion Turner, marion@nr.com.au who obtained the following information from a Sydney company called DigiXpress:

Heavy weight white $6.00

Medium weight white $5.00

* There is a set up fee of $15 for a design supplied on disk (IBM or Macintosh) or $10 supplied as photograph/artwork.

* No price difference for single colour or multi colour print.

* You may supply your own t-shirts. (To get the yellow Bonds t-shirts we could go to wholesaler, hopefully paying no more than $5-$10 each.)

* Service time 3-7 days.

So it looks as if the t-shirt may cost around $20-$30 if we are going to have yellow t-shirts with designs on the back and front. Any comments regarding this are most welcome and if anyone can find a cheaper t-shirt printer please let us know.

By popular demand there will be another IRC meeting/chat session. The proposed date is Sunday 8th March at 7pm Eastern Australian time. Once again the meeting will be held on the channel #goodies on the server "firstlink.nsw.au.austnet.org". On the agenda will be Goodies t-shirts and the proposed Goodies convention for 2000.

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail carrot@auslink.net with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:

IF I RULED THE WORLD

by David Balston, david.balston@virgin.net

The celebrity panel game show 'If I Ruled The World' is shortly to go into production as a series. After appearing as a guest in the untransmitted pilot, Graeme Garden is to return as one of the two team captains, the other being Jeremy Hardy (also in the pilot.) The show will still be presented by Clive Anderson.

Tickets are available for recordings of the show at The London Studios (LWT) on Wednesday evenings from 4th March 1998 until 1st April 1998. Tickets can be obtained by phoning 0171 287 1598.

The change of team captains means that the pilot show will not be transmitted, shame.

KITTEN KONG - THE BAND

by Kerrie Murphy, murphyk@ozemail.com.au

I saw a review recently for a band called Kitten Kong - I'd never heard of them so I just thought I'd let you know. Given what I know about music these days they could have been number 1 for eleven weeks.

THE SEXIEST MEN OVER 50

posted to Goodies-L y Nick McCarthy, mcarthyn@ocean.com.au

Recently on Triple J's "Departure Lounge" with Adam Spencer and Helen Razer they were having a phone in segment where people rang in listing the sexiest people over 50.

Low and behold, a middle aged guy rang in saying The Goodies were the sexiest guys over 50! He said he particularly liked, "the little fuzzy one" which Helen and Adam knew was Bill Oddie (of course).

So it seems that three blokes on a bicycle really got this guy's blood rushing. It takes all sorts!

THE SATURDAY BANANA

by David Balston, david.balston@virgin.net

In the late 70s somewhere around 1978/79 (I'm not too sure of the exact years of transmission) Bill Oddie hosted a children's TV show called The Saturday Banana. It was a live Saturday morning ITV show, made by the now defunct Southern Television. The show was transmitted from their Southampton studios and was the usual Saturday morning mixture of cartoons, pop bands and quiz shows such as a customised version of children's quiz show 'Runaround'.

Bill once said that the show was to be called Saturday Bonanza but someone got the name wrong (yes sure, I believe that, Bill) and a giant Banana was erected in the car park of the Southern television studios (which looked quite ridiculous when it was seen in the background in a serious news item about a strike at Southern Television.

Incidentally, Bill can be seen wearing a Saturday Banana badge in several of the later BBC Goodies episodes, which was strange as in those days referring to an ITV show on the BBC was a bit of a taboo.

TELEVISION, TECHNOLOGY AND THE GOODIES

If you didn't get The Weekend Australian on the 7th of February you missed a very interesting article about television technology by club member Kerrie Murphy. It also featured a fair bit about The Goodies thanks to some interesting quotes from Tim Brooke-Taylor.

Thanks to Kerrie and all at The Weekend Australian, we now reprint a slightly abridged version of the article.

Technology may have changed what we see on TV, but a good script is still essential, reports Kerrie Murphy.

The humour in the television show Funky Squad stemmed from the premise that such shows are a product of their social environment. Long sideburns, garish clothes and Starsky and Hutch-style plot lines seem ridiculous when compared with today's gritty police dramas. Not only does the style of TV change with the times, it changes with technology.

As shooting and editing procedures become more sophisticated, it changes the content of the programmes themselves. So would a show like The Goodies, which ran from 1970 to 1982 and whose characters did everything from creating a giant kitten to capturing the Loch Ness monster, be made today?

Tim Brooke-Taylor, who starred in the show along with Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie has his doubts. "'Different' programmes need getting used to," he says "Today, most companies haven't got the patience for a new style to evolve. The Goodies was very much of its people and its time. We had tried sketch shows and wanted to do something that combined all our ideas without having to be confined to the sketch format of set up leading to punchline.

"(Monty) Python got around this by having someone say, 'This is getting boring, let's try something else' and we got round it by having regular characters that could bend to any setting.

"We were lucky to be doing the shows when it became possible to be silly and reasonably intelligent. Our detractors could only see the silly. The BBC didn't know what it was getting and would never have agreed to our original ideas."

The transition from film to video and more recently, to digital cameras, has had an impact on the way shows are produced, says Ric Pellizeri, executive producer of Australia's popular Blue Heelers series. He has also worked on series such as Flying Doctors and A Country Practice.

"If you compare A Country Practice with Blue Heelers, what you can do with digital cameras is shoot in lower light, so you can have more of a guerrilla operation, not with huge rigs for the lighting," says Pellizeri.

Lower light means that the lighting looks more natural and less like a studio shot. It also means more of a show can be shot on location. Non-linear editing, the process of editing digital images on computer rather than physically cutting film or editing onto video-tape, gives editors and directors the freedom to experiment more.

"With a mixture of video and film we wouldn't have to make so many blind decisions on how to film things," says Brooke-Taylor. "We never knew whether we had filmed things at the right speed or quality until we got them back from the processors.

"There are still parts of The Goodies that pain me to watch. These were what we called 'So What?' sequences which were incredibly difficult technically, but just not funny. We pictured all the millions of viewers at home just going 'So what?'

In some cases, cheaper editing would have had a great impact, he adds. At Last The 1948 Show (a sketch comedy show made in 1967 which also featured Python members John Cleese and Graham Chapman) was cut and spliced even though it was video tape. Tape was expensive so we were discouraged from editing at all."

In some cases, editing can be the saving grace of a production. In fact, Hollywood producers show sample audiences test screenings and often re-edit the film on the basis of their reaction.

"In post-production, when editing is done non-linear on computers, you can keep changing and make more decisions on how to assemble it," Pellizeri says. "As a producer and editor you can make it more refined. You can edit something one way and go, 'No, that doesn't work', and do it again. Once upon a time you had to take a guess and go, 'I think that's OK.'"

Beyond drama and comedy, digital editing means that the time needed to get stories together for news broadcasts has shrunk dramatically, says Richard Morecroft, presenter of ABC News.

Morecroft started at ABC Adelaide in 1978: "When I was a presenter and reporter and stories were shot on film, to edit stories you sat in the editing rooms and the editor wore white gloves and cut each film individually for every single report. While the essential qualities of news-gathering are the same, now it means stories can be put together were quickly."

Special effects is one area where the impact of changing technology is most obvious. One only has to compare the original series of Star Trek with recent series in the franchise, such as Star Trek Voyager or Deep Space Nine, to see the difference computer-generated special effects can make.

The often fantastic nature of the plot lines of The Goodies meant there was frequent use of special effects which, while extremely dodgy by today's standards, were sophisticated at the time. The use of effects meant that, on occasion, the show would exhaust its budget by the end of a series, and so the last episode would be solely shot in the studio, such as The End, which saw the trio's home and office encased in concrete.

Not only would The Goodies be considerably cheaper and easier to make today, but it would have been able to attempt more adventurous shots, Brooke-Taylor says. One example is Kitten Kong, an episode in which a giant white kitten ran rampant through London. "We tried to copy the cartoon idea of a character running over a cliff and standing in mid air. He realises he's in mid air, looks down, looks forlornly at camera and then plunges to

the distant ground. This would be easy with electronics now, but was very difficult with wires and early back projection."

However, just because it's easier to do now doesn't mean that it would have been used more often, says Brooke-Taylor "My feeling is that we would, if we were doing the shows now, do less with visuals rather than more. Just because it's easier. Ultimately, though, nothing beats a damn good script."

* The Australian's website is at http://www.theaustralian.com.au and it's well worth a look *

by Dwayne Schamp, dschamp@academic.com

I know it's only a prop, but what a prop! Being lucky enough to get Doctor Who from our local PBS station, I was watching the episode "The Androids Of Tara" recently and the King's throne was none other than Tim Brooke-Taylor's. How it got 400 years into the future on a different planet is beyond me though :)

THE GOODIES IS BACK ON TV

The Goodies is back on Australian Pay TV. Foxtel's UK TV is screening The Goodies every weekday at 4pm.

3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY no 1

For those of you unacquainted with Goodies-L, Brett Allender, bretta@comcirc.com.au had been regularly posting to the list, summaries and reviews of each Goodies episode. And we thought they were so good that we decided to publish one each month, for the 75 months. So here begins over 6 years of episode summaries, starting with the first ever episode of The Goodies. (*PLEASE NOTE* At the end of each summary Brett will give the episode a rating out of five. See below for an explanation of Brett's patented Black Pudding rating system.)

The three Goodies enter their brand new office to find that Graeme has spent Tim's aunt's money wisely and has designed an office which defies all laws of space (a la the TARDIS in Dr Who), as the food store, kitchen, bedroom, games room and loo are all magically located behind two doors. The office contains everything they need to live there for "24 hours a day, 7 weeks a month!" (complete with a special rent-a-view picture window of Sydney Harbour which plays 'Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport' and leads to some early Rolf Harris-bashing); however to make proper use of it, they need to find some work. Bill places advertisements in all sorts of publications (reputable and otherwise) which advise that they will do "anything, anytime" (which prompts Graeme to remark "That's a bit vague, isn't it!"), and they are soon rewarded with a job offer which requires the "Dear Giddies" to report to the Tower of London after a wild maiden ride on their trandem bike.

They enter the spooky tower and are startled by an eye in a keyhole which belongs to a tall plain-clothed Beefeater. Someone has been stealing the Beefeater's beef (which forces the fussy little blighters to starve to death, as they refuse to eat corned beef or any other food) and it is up to the Goodies to find the culprit. Tim surmises that it is someone who holds a grudge against Beefeaters, but both he and Graeme's greedy, burping computer (which further adds to the beef shortage, much to Tim's outrage) can only come up with the unlikely suspects of bulls and poultry farmers and this makes Tim chew over the unlikely prospect of the guards becoming chickeneaters instead. Fuelled by his granny's lemon sherbet, Bill hallucinates and discovers a plot to steal the Crown Jewels (after he firstly has a vision of a topless model!), so the Goodies dress up as Beefeaters themselves in an attempt to foil the thief.

Graeme's elaborate burglar alarm leads to the capture of the robber (despite Tim's craven cowardice), but they are surprised to discover that he is a burglar 'by appointment'. Suspicion immediately switches to the "young him" lookalike with largish ears who swings a polo mallet on the lawn outside and a mad polo-playing, fruit-splattering chase scene ensues through the streets of London until the rider disappears through the gates of Buckingham Palace. Tim is horrified to realize that "It REALLY was him!", while Bill can only offer a worried "Oh flippin' heck!" before they jointly start to blubber in despair.

The Goodies appear to be finished no sooner than they have started, as Bill loudly laments "We REALLY blew it!!" and Tim prepares to visit some friends (in Canada!), while the noisy arrival of a 'royal message' does little to ease their concerns. The message from a certain Elizabeth R states that the jewels in the tower were actually fakes, as the real ones had been pawned to overcome one's financial problems, but after selling Balmoral to the Burtons, they were attempting to put the real jewels back when foiled by the Goodies. Therefore as the Goodies' actions were considered to be loyal and proper, they are still in business and can look forward to the next birthday honours list!

* Tim: "We are the Goodies."

Bill & Graeme (impatiently): "Yes, we know that!"

Tim: " And we are, er ... going to ... do good ... to people."

* Graeme (reading Bill's ad): "The Goodies. Phone 0831234. Anything, Anytime. ... That's a bit vague, isn't it!"

* Bill (preparing to catch the burglar): "For England!" Graeme: "For England"

Tim: (the coward!): "You know, I don't awfully care too much about England!"

* The Fairy Puff Man (Tim): "Kitten, those undies you're wearing are grey, grey, grey, grey, grey!"

The Fairy Puff Girl: "I know, I know ... Take them off and put them in the machine. (strips naked) Right, now what are we gonna do, hmm?"

The Fairy Puff Man (in a poofy embarrassed voice): "I'm going to wash these clothes! I'm the Fairy Puff Man ..."

* the maiden voyage of the trandem, as the Goodies wheel it out from behind a parked car, Tim attaches a flashing light to his head, Graeme hoists a Goodies flag on the back and Bill pumps up two tyres at once, only for them all to fall off sideways onto the road when they eventually try to ride it.

* the use of torture equipment as kitchen utensils at the tower, such as a thumbscrew as a garlic crusher, a guillotine to slice a loaf of bread, a casket as a fridge and a spectacular swinging axe as a meat slicer

* Graeme and Tim's frantic attempts to solve Bill's lemon sherbet-inspired puzzle - "old lady with big mouth and big ding-dongs!", before finally realising that "crow-n chew-ells" means that the Crown Jewels are in danger.

* The advertisement for Fairy Puff detergent, with Tim as the super-smooth Fairy Puff Man encouraging a pretty lass to gradually strip off her "grey, grey, grey" dress, underslip and undies, only to poofily declare "I'm going to wash these clothes!" when the naked lass asks him what he's going to do next!

* the Goodies riding the trandem dressed as Beefeaters and bowling over pedestrians with their staffs

* duelling with the polo-playing horserider, especially the fruit fight and Tim spinning around and around after his staff gets stuck in a tree trunk, then staggering to his feet only to crash back into the tree trunk and knock himself out.

George Baker, Max Latimer, Gertan Klauber, Maria O'Brien

Needed, Catch Me If You Can

Goodies Tea Set, Fairy Puff Man

(Note:the entire Fairy Puff Man ad has been deleted from the ABC version of this episode)

A good start to the series (and twelve years of uniquely brilliant comedy), with some interesting and humourous visuals which pop up again many more times in the opening credits for future episodes and a reasonably amusing plot with some early royal stirring and patriotic cowardice by Tim adding some further interest.

III Goody goody yum yum

BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM

IIII Officially Amazing

III Goody Goody Yum Yum

II Fair-y Punkmother

I Tripe On T' Pikelets

4. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ

by quizmaster David McAnally dsm@maths.uq.edu.au

1. To stop the Orinoco Tribe from killing him, what did Graeme pretend to do with Tim and Bill?

2. When the Goodies reached Camelot, why were they astounded?

3. What was stolen in "Daylight Robbery of the Orient Express" and who was responsible for stealing it?

4. What final indignity did the 'Beans Means Heanz' boy suffer - and by whose hand was the insult inflicted?

ANSWERS TO LAST MONTH'S QUESTIONS

1. How much did the Goodies charge to 'tour the middle ages' in 'Camelot'?

2. Why did the Goodies agree to take care of the lighthouse in 'Lighthouse Keeping Loonies'?

A: They misread the advertisement. They thought the ad was for light housekeeping duties - not lighthouse keeping duties.

3. What replaced apartheid in 'South Africa'?

4. Who was the mother of the Goodies' triplet babies in '2001 and a Bit'?

CORRECTION OF LAST MONTH'S CORRECTION TO THE MONTH BEFORE LAST'S ANSWERS

Last month it was stated that the only three people who had ever earned The World Domination Badge were Napoleon, Hitler and David Frost (but Frosty pinched his!). It was in fact Napoleon, Gengis Khan and David Frost (but Frosty pinched his!). Let's hope we got it right this time!

That's it for this month. Next month Brett Allender and myself will evolve into the David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz of the C&G as we present a series of reviews of Goodies music. We're starting with "Rock With A Policeman" so if you'd like to send in your Black Pudding Rating for this song, do it by the 11th of March!

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This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1998). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com

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