The Official Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club Website

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 51 12th March 2000

thegoodies@oztek.net.au

'The Goodies Rule - OK!'

Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA

THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G

1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.

2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.

3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - Montreux 72 (Kitten Kong).

4. THE END - Cobbler's Film Club.

You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail thegoodies@oztek.net.au with your comments, ideas or suggestions.

KITTEN KON - THE GOODIES CONVENTION

WHAT IS KITTEN KON?

Kitten Kon will be a two and half day extravaganza celebration of The Goodies in honour of the show's 30th Anniversary this year.

WILL ANY GOODIES BE COMING?

- TIM BROOKE-TAYLOR will be our special guest at Kitten Kon. Kitten Kon will be his only Australian public engagement so don't miss your chance to meet him!

- GRAEME GARDEN and BILL ODDIE will join us for a live video link-up chat in which you ask them the questions.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT KITTEN KON?

- Question and answer sessions and autographs with our guests.

- Screenings of the rare episodes "Hype Pressure", "Caught In The Act" and "A Collection Of Goodies", plus the London Weekend Television series and the two black and white episodes "Commonwealth Games" and "Come Dancing".

- Screenings of all your favourite episodes plus many rare clips such as The Goodies performing "Funky Gibbon" on Top Of The Pops, extracts from the 1997 "Where Are They Now?" interview and episodes of "If I Ruled The World", "Surgical Spirit", "You Must Be The Husband" and "Assaulted Nuts".

- Panels to include "The Goodies vs. Monty Python", "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" and "At Last! The 1948 Show" with panelists to include Matthew K. Sharp (author of "The Goodies Episode Guide" and "The Goodies Fact File"), Peter Tatchell (editor of "Laugh Magazine") and other Goodies know-it-alls.

- A quiz night with prizes to be won.

- A charity auction of rare Goodies and cult TV stuff.

- A groovy 70s disco with costume parade, karaoke and a disco-heave-a-thon.

- Fun and laughs galore!

The Dallas Brooks Centre, 300 Albert Street, East Melbourne, Australia.

Friday 21st April from 4pm to 12am

Saturday 22nd April from 8am to 12am

Sunday 23rd April from 8am to 5.30pm

The following prices are special discounted prices for those who book their tickets - tickets purchased at the door will cost more. We recommend that you book in advance to ensure that you reserve your place. If you cannot afford to pay the full cost at this stage, you may pay in installments, however you will be required to pay the balance before entering Kitten Kon.

Full weekend - $A100

Friday and Saturday only - $A75

Saturday and Sunday only - $A100

Saturday only - $A65

* Tim may not appear at Friday's sessions.

* Graeme and Bill's chat has yet to be scheduled, we will make this information available as soon as possible.

* Please ask about discounted prices for children.

SOUNDS GOOD, HOW CAN I BOOK?

Send a cheque or money order made out to "The Goodies Rule - OK!" in Australian dollars to:

The Goodies Rule - OK!

I HAVE A QUESTION!

Please direct all Kitten Kon inquiries to Tracey Baird - tra4ce@bigpond.com.

Updates this month have included:

- New links at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/links.html including an excellent "At Last! The 1948 Show" website at http://www.pythonet.org/1948show/ .

- New merchandise at our shop pages http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/shop.html including a number of videos which are now available through the excellent Amazon.co.uk website.

- More Cor! comic strips thanks to Raymond in New Zealand.

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail thegoodies@oztek.net.au with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:

BIRDING WITH BILL ODDIE

by DAVID BALSTON and CATHERINE SUMNALL

The exploits of the inimitable "singing brillo pad", as he followed his bird obsession in Poland, the Mediterranean and er, Wales, continue this month every Friday at 8pm on BBC2.

And if you can't get enough of it Bill will be answering questions about birds on Friday 31st March from 8.30pm to 9.30pm. Details are at http://www.bbc.co.uk/education/birding/chat/index.shtml where you can also catch up on last years chat.

BILL'S MAD ABOUT BIRDS

The following article appeared in the UK newspaper the Evening Mail on Friday, February 18, 2000 (pages 48-49, the TV section). It is accompanied by a recent photo of Bill plus a publicity photo of the Goodies from "Scoutrageous" (the same one that's on the cover of Brett Allender's "Goodies Episode Summaries" book). Under the Goodies photo is a box entitled "Bill Oddie Factfile" - the text from that follows the main article, below.

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"Mad About Birds" by Graham Young

Birding with Bill Oddie (BBC2, 8pm)

He used to be a Goodie, but now Bill Oddie is once again chasing a birdie or two. And, anyone who saw the BBC2 drama "Nature Boy" on Monday night will be glad to know that there won't be any shots of birds being clubbed to death tonight. At the end of a long, working week what could be better than settling down with a knowledgeable gentleman talking about a gentle subject at a gentle pace? We need more programmes like this on TV - and a similar one about photographers at work in urban and rural landscapes could be equally well-loved since photography is one of Britain's most popular - and expensive! - hobbies.

As Britain's best-loved twitcher, Bill will be spreading his own wings for the next six weeks and taking us to the most popular birding spots in Britain, Europe and beyond. He chuckles at the antics of the purple swamphen in Mallorca, watches thousands of cranes come in to roost in the heart of Galilee, tramps through an ancient Polish forest at dawn and goes on a wild goose chase in Holland. Along the way, Bill investigates how birds live their lives, where they breed, how they survive the winter and the biggest challenge of all, their twice-yearly migrations. "After all my years of birding, discovering new places and new birds is still a thrill," says Bill. "Whether you're a novice birder or an old hand like me, there's always something that knocks your socks off!"

Tonight, he touches down in Mallorca, his first foreign report for this series. The world's favourite holiday destination is also one of the best places in Europe to experience the spring migration. Did you know that millions of birds pass through the island, stopping off on their long and arduous journey north from their African wintering grounds to the breeding areas in Britain and northern Europe? Bill eases himself in gently with a leisurely walk along the Boquer Valley, the island's migration hotspot. He spots some familiar birds and says: "Another thing I love is that these are birds which could very easily end up in Britain." The next morning, Bill is out early, before the holidaymakers, and he's down on the beach looking for a rare Audouin's gull. This was once the rarest gull in the world with only a thousand pairs, but thanks to conservation efforts it's now thriving. Bill then travels to a famous tourist viewpoint just above town on the look out for two Mallorcan specialities, the blue rock thrush and crag martin. But Bill is keen to escape from the tourists so he heads for the mountains. "I'm now on one of those quests that convinces some people that birdwatchers are complete crackpots. This is a part of Mallorca which beach-lovers may not even know exists, let alone visit." Bill is in search of the black vulture, one of the largest birds in Europe, but it's not all that easy to see. Finally, his patience pays off - and he gets great views.

"Bill Oddie Factfile"

* The Goodies was a British comedy show which ran on both the BBC and ITV for 77 episodes from 1970 to 1982.

* Bill's partners were Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor and with the BBC, they were twice winners of the Silver Rose of Montreux.

* Bill, who was the hairy, cynical member of the trio of do-gooders, would often provide songs or instrumental routines to fit in with their capers, which produced hit albums and singles like "The Intbetweenies" [sic] and "Funky Gibbon".

* Born in 1941, Bill is a Cambridge Footlights graduate and is a contemporary of the likes of John Cleese and Graham Chapman.

* His other TV works include co-writing and starring in the theatre school comedy "From The Top" and he has appeared in the kids' series "The Saturday Banana" and "The Bubblegum Brigade". Other credits include "We Have Ways of Making You Laugh", "Fax!", and "Titmuss Regained."

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NEW SERIES OF I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE

by DAVID BALSTON and CATHERINE SUMNALL

The new series of the "antidote" to panel games starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Humphrey Lyttelton will be recorded on these dates at these venues:

Sunday 7th May at the New Victoria Theatre in Woking.

Monday 22nd May at the Royal Theatre in Stoke-on-Trent.

Sunday 11th June at the Lyttelton Theatre, National, London.

Contact the theatre box offices to reserve your seat.

And should you be venturing to Stoke-on-Trent for the recording on the 22nd of May, you may be intrigued to read in the Mike Lloyd box office advertisement that one of the panellists is the great-but-dead ex-novelist Graham Greene. This is easily excused: 'course, we in Stoke 'ave it tough...

The new "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" book "The Little Book of Mornington Crescent" will hit our virtual shelves appropriately on April 1st. Head to http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/bookshop.html#Mornington for details.

ME AND MY GIRL REPEATS

by CATHERINE SUMNALL

The ITV/LWT sitcom (in the days before this phrase became a contradiction in terms) "Me & My Girl" featuring Tim Brooke-Taylor, has been carefully wheeled out, possible for the final time, to supplement the rickety Granada Plus schedules at 8am every weekday. Despite never attainingGoodie heights, there are quite a few enlightening moments, particularly in the earlier episodes - and to be perfectly honest, seeing Tim in a nappy is compulsive viewing!

REPEAT OF SHOOTING STARS WITH BILL

The edition of 'Shooting Stars' with Bill will be repeated on BBC2 on Sunday 17th March at 10pm.

AT LAST! THE 1948 SHOW MEETS TCP

by CATHERINE SUMNALL

If anyone remembers both "At Last! The 1948 Show" AND TCP in a clear bottle, you are - evidently - rather aged, but also endowed with the enviable ability to complain that using the Four Yorkshiremen sketch (bizarrely accredited to Python in The Times top 100 cult TV shows) to advertise the allegedly beneficial brown liquid might be a tad incongruous.

TIM DOES CITIZEN KANE

Tim was mentioned in the 7th of March edition of the sketch show 'Bruiser' where a couple of script writers were told they have produced "the worse rewrite since Tim Brooke-Taylor tried to rewrite Citizen Kane as a kid's race".

GONE BIRDING - THE GAME

I recently came across an old board game called "Gone Birding!". The cover of the box describes it as "A full-color video adventure in bird identification." The thing that interested me is that the videotape, which is an essential part of the game, was described as being "Introduced by Jane Alexander [and] Hosted by Bill Oddie and Peter Alden".

The game was definitely designed for the United States market - it features bird species from North America, the playing board has a map of the US, and the video is in NTSC (the US video format). Closer inspection of the box reveals that the game was manufactured by a company in the State of Massachusetts. (For those that are curious about these sort of details, here's the full copyright notice: "copyright 1988. Rupicola Productions, Inc. 1300 Washington St., Walpole, MA, U.S.A. 02081". A quick look at an on-line telephone directory, done for curiosity's sake, turned up a phone number for Rupicola, so it looks like they may still be in business.)

I think the best way to describe the game is to just type up the blurb from the back of the box, so here it is:

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The Ultimate Birding (TM) VCR Game

* A full-color, video adventure in Bird Identification.

* Join award-winning actress and birder Jane Alexander, British bird-show host and comedian Bill Oddie, and renowed American bird-tour leader and author Peter Alden, as they lead you on a spectacular birding tour of North America.

* Gone Birding! is the quickest and most entertaining way to learn bird identification. The game provides good competitive fun for novices and experts.

* The object of the game is to find the most bird species on a grand birding tour of North America.

* Players use the video to determine the number of spaces they can move on the game board.

Gone Birding! (TM) includes:

* Two hour (126 minutes) video, filmed by noted wildlife cinematographers, contains 10 separate games, unlimited hours of exciting game play, and nearly 1,000 scenes of over 350 species of birds in glorious color - plus gameboard, cards, score pads, & playing pieces.

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The hosts appear in the video only briefly - they introduce the various games, which are a series of films of different birds that the players need to identify. At a rough guess, I'd say that Bill appears in, at most, 5 minutes worth of footage spread over the course of the 2 hour tape. His scenes are quite amusing (as one would expect); it's a shame that they are so brief.

3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY

MONTREUX 72 (aka Kitten Kong)

First screened: 9th April 1972

Bill is busy cooking a sumptuous meal, complete with a not-quite-cooked chicken (that still clucks away in the oven!) and some rather frequently sampled wine. Tim and Graeme arrive home in full soccer supporter-like battle dress, as they madly chant "We are the champions" after they have formed the entire ecstatic crowd at the chess championships and are famished after all the excitement. However the wine and fancy meal is for Bunter the guinea pig, who is fed up with his regular diet and Graeme and Tim are served up soggy lettuce and potato peels instead. A row quickly brews between Tim and Bill (with Tim mocked for his culinary expertise at burning cornflakes while Bill threatens to go home to Mother) before Graeme tells them both to shut up, but the revelation that Bill is getting 30 pounds to look after Bunter gives Tim a rare idea.

The Goodies Animal Clinic soon collects crazy cats, daffy dogs, batty budgies and other problem animals, but the fur and feathers start to fly when all of the animals are placed in one large basket on the back of the trandem, including a gigantic python which nearly strangles Tim several times over. Graeme finds that his depressed mongoose and vampire bat aren't in a very playful mood and has to lock two dogs out in the yard because they won't stop singing duets together. All of the animals are taken for walkies (including Twinkle,a tiny 23 year old kitten) to build their strength up and Bill and Graeme return to the office to test Graeme's new growth formula on Twinkle after they rescue it from a tree (but leave Tim stuck high up in the branches).

Tim finally returns after being treed for "four ruddy days" and is ready to wring Twinkle's neck for causing all the trouble, but screams when he sees that Twinkle has grown somewhat. He appears to wake from a nightmare (and yells "Don't lick me! Don't lick me", with Bill nearby having no such intentions!), but realizes that the furry monster is for real when Graeme produces a vitamin pill the size of a tyre to feed to it. However the still-growing Twinkle isn't in his cage (as Bill has "put the cat out" for the night), which causes Graeme to quickly slip on his suit in one motion (like in 'Snooze') and race outside, as the other two follow him still in their pyjamas.

They follow huge paw prints on the road and increasingly menacing meows to come across a wild stampede of fleeing people and dogs (as a Lassie lookalike points the way) and eventually find a monstrous Twinkle terrorising central London. The news bulletin of Kitten Kong's rampage (which ends with Michael Aspel crushed by a huge paw!) sends them scurrying back to the office to collect a giant syringe of antidote to the growth food.

Dressed as mice, they return to attract Kitten Kong's attention (scaring a cleaning lady up onto a chair in the process) and take to the sky via balloons attached to the trandem armed with the syringe. Kitten Kong menacingly grabs Bill, but Graeme's injection of the antidote (after applying a medically correct swab whilst Bill is being sized up for supper!) reduces the monster to a tiny harmless kitten again. While celebrating this success, they accidently jab the balloon with the syringe and spin madly through the air before getting hooked up onto the nose of a rapidly departing Concorde.

Upon their return to the office, the Goodies pack all animals up (in brown paper wrapping!) to return to their owners. Bill notices that a large amount of the growth food is missing and Graeme comments that it has probably just been eaten by mice. Several huge mice crash their heads through the walls of the office, which prompts loud shouts of "FEED THE CAT!!".

* Bill (regarding his guinea pig): "Surely you're not resentful of a little kindness to one of our dumb friends."

Tim: "The only dumb friend I've got is you!"

* Graeme (about Twinkle): "We've got to find him and catch him before he eats someone he shouldn't."

Tim: "You mean something he shouldn't."

Graeme: "I know what I mean!"

* Graeme and his remarkable animation talents with making the bush baby and vampire bat spring to life. He finds the bush baby continually clinging to him at inopportune moments, but eventually makes use of it by blowing his

* The two talented dogs singing 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better'

* Exercising the 'dumb animals' in the park followed by Bill's huge dog chasing Twinkle all over the park and playground (with Tim being dragged along on a leash behind the cat) and up a massive tree. Tim throws a small twig up into the tree at Twinkle, then has to catch an enormous log which drops on him.

* The Goodies pressed together against a construction barrier pedalling furiously after the trandem has rolled on down the road from underneath them.

* Michael Aspel's BBC News report with footage on Kitten Kong riding the Post Office Tower to the ground and lifting the dome on the roof of Westminster. The report ends abruptly when he is squashed into the ground by a huge furry white paw.

* The giant mice crashing through the walls of the Goodies office after pigging out on Graeme's growth mixture.

Michael Aspel, Corbet Woodall and Milton Reid.

Needed, Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better, Dumb Animals, Kitten Kong.

Robinson's Paper, Butch Tobacco For Men.

An excellent episode, with heaps of spectacular and humourous visual effects backed up by a solid script dealing with the panic and destruction caused by Twinkle terrorizing London after another of Graeme's increasingly loony experiments.

IIII Officially amazing

THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM

IIII - Officially amazing.

III - Goody goody yum yum.

II - Fair-y punkmother.

I - Tripe on t' pikelets.

** The next episode summary will be Special #2 "A Collection Of Goodies (aka Special Tax Edition)" in the May edition. Next month's C&G will feature a music review. **

THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES

A reminder that the third (and final) edition of "The Goodies Episode Summaries" book by club Vice-President and resident Eddie Waring impersonator Brett Allender is now hot off the presses for your enjoyment.

Although many improvements on the original version were made in the second edition (such as an easier-to-read two column format and the addition of more than 100 photographs from various episodes), the third edition completes the oddie-sey by offering full summaries of every Goodies episode, even more new pictures, and the correction of many minor factual errors which went mostly undetected in the previous two editions.

"The Goodies Episode Summaries" is available for $20 (plus $4 postage within Australia and $14 to any overseas destination) and more details about the book and how to order it can be obtained from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/summary.html . Copies will also be available for purchase for $20 at Kitten Kon and can be pre-ordered by contacting Brett Allender at bretta@wimmera.com.au.

However as a special deal from now until the end of Kitten Kon, those who have already bought either the first or second edition of the summary book may purchase the third edition for the discount price of just $15 - a saving of 25%. This can either be done at the convention for no extra cost or beforehand via mail with additional postage at the rates mentioned above.

As always in The End, we end with a round from "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" the improvised comedy panel show staring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden and chaired by Humphrey Lyttleton, with Colin Sell at the piano and the lovely Samantha and Sven taking down the points. "ISIHAC" has been going for more than 30 series and is an icon of British radio comedy and a number of books and audio cassettes from the series are available from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/shop.html.

This month's "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" round is "Cobblers Film Club" - suggestions of movies which are likely to appeal to those in the footwear industry. The round featured Jeremy Hardy as guest panelist and was played while Samantha nipped out to greet a gentleman friend who was a real shoe enthusiast; in fact last time she met him, he was in his plimsoles with a crepe sole and felt upper!

Tim: "Reservoir Clogs"

Jeremy: "Arsenic & Old Lace Holes. You've got to be very careful how you say that!"

Barry: "Fellini's 8 1/2 - it's a bit tight!"

Graeme: "Bring Me The Heel Of Alfredo Garcia"

Tim: "All Michael Winner films - they're all a load of old cobblers!"

Tim: "Daniel Day Lewis and the Last Of The Moccasins"

Graeme: "Size 9 From Outer Space"

Tim: "Trainerspotting"

Barry: "Forrest Pump"

Graeme: "The Music Loafers by Ken Russell & Bromley"

Jeremy: "Hobnail & I"

Humph: "Well ladies and gentlemen, as the sands of time blow up the trunks of destiny and the grit of fate lodges uncomfortably in the winkle of despair..."

Team C&G: "...and as the dog-tired Adelaide Fringe goer of optimism presses the send button of hope on the spelling error ridden newsletter of reality...it's goodbye"

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This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2000). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com

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