The Official Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club Website

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 113 20th April 2005

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A number of fans have mentioned writing to John Pinder or Big Laugh Productions (the producers of the Goodies live show in Australia) with Goodies-related questions. It'd be best if you sent such questions to the club. While the folks at Big Laugh are very nice they're also incredibly busy working on other projects; they're also not the right people to ask about things such as Goodies DVDs. Feel free to send any Goodies questions to me (at president@goodiesruleok.com); I'll do my best to answer them.

The Goodies Rule - OK! website had a record-breaking 1.8 million hits last month. The site averaged over 1,000 visitors a day. While interest was particularly strong from Australia, due to the Goodies live shows there, Australian visitors only accounted for 60% of the activity on the website. The club had visitors from over 80 countries with the highest numbers being from Australia, the United States, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Canada, Germany, France, the Netherlands, Japan, Norway, Italy, Belgium, Finland, Poland, Singapore, Portugal, Austria, Denmark, Sweden, the Czech Republic, Mexico, Brazil and Ireland.

Unfortunately restoration work on some of the extras,the colour version of "Come Dancing", script PDFs , an "In conversation" piece with the Goodies recorded during the commentary sessions and English subtitles on the episodes were not able to be included in the Australian releases version. In addition . Australian rights have not been granted for the booklet included in the UK version. "

"To a certain extent it was anti-establishment because that was just coming in through the universities. People hadn't been allowed to satirise much before. So there was that element of being let off the leash a little bit, being allowed to be outspoken about things. But I think it was also carrying on the tradition of just good, old-fashioned, stupid jokes and silliness.

The TV series 'Love is in the Air', which is all about Australian music over the years, is being repeated on the ABC on Saturday nights at 10pm. This week's episode (ie. 26th March) is called 'Strange Fruits' and has a bit on Rolf Harris. Clips from the Goodie's 'Scatty Safari/Existence of Rolf Harris' episode is shown when describing Rolf Harris' music. So if you missed it last time the series was shown, this weekend is your chance to see it.

"I went to watch my favourite Premiership football team last weekend, and I was having so much fun in the carnival atmosphere that me and a couple of mates started singing the Goodies' hit 'Funky Gibbon' (although I was the only one who could remember the dance steps). As a result I found myself yanked out of the stand, banned from every ground in the country and fined several thousand pounds. As usual, it seems it's one rule for zany comedy threesomes on Top of the Pops in March 1975 and another for the rest of us.

If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.

Here's a listing: "Halfway through one of the most unusual springs in living memory Bill Oddie and Kate Humble report on how it's affecting our wildlife. From the Springwatch farm in Devon, hidden cameras reveal how the local barn owls and badgers are faring. Bill gets a birds-eye view of Britain's most impressive early nester - the heron. Kate visits Dartmoor to meet a herd of its most famous inhabitants and Simon King witnesses red deer boxing."

* A short spotted though I don't know whether it's been mentioned previously but it may have. I was watching "Doctor in Charge" the other night on UKTV on Foxtel and saw that the episode was written by Graeme and Bill. It certainly had a 'Goodies' feel to it. Was the one about the doctors all fancying the new physiotherapy nurses. A bit of swappies went on anyway!

Here's the item description: "To mark the 33rd anniversary of the birth of the antidote to panel games, we present the pick of the Definitions Round, a quirky cross between the Collins dictionary and 'Call My Bluff' that has had audiences in stitches for over a decade. I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue - the antidote to panel games, has thrilled the nation for over thirty years. With listener figures now over 2 million each week, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue has become as firm a British institution as the Queen's lap-dancing club. For all those that have ever pondered the meaning of antidisestablishmentarianism (the wife of strangely named Northern uncle), bedlam (a very favourite sheep) or cenotaph (a Welsh laxative), this is the book for you. With cartoons by Graeme Garden and Humphrey Lyttleton and over 300 more definitions to push the boundaries of the English language and 'good clean family fun', I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Definitions is a must have for any fan of British comedy at its best."

Here's the full item description: "Hamish and Dougal are the two elderly Scotsmen played by Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden on Radio 4. For years the two characters were favourites on 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue', and now they have their own radio series, and their own book to boot. The book will be based on the 16 episodes written so far, with plenty of additional material from the two men. In series one, Dougal hosted a musical evening (at which Mrs Naughtie performed her Dance of the Seven Voles).; Mrs Naughtie (played by Alison Steadman) suddenly disappeared, causing great concern; Hamish found a love rival; and Hamish and Dougal assisted in summoning up some heavy armaments for an afternoon's shooting on the moors. The book will be a host of anecdote and lore from the long lives of these two living Scottish legends, and is the perfect gift for Radio 4 lovers."

"This week I received some interesting statistics concerning the online figures for January. Apparently all of the BBC digital services have spearheaded an increase in U.K. listeners accessing the websites, with On Demand listening totalling 1.2 million hours. Here on BBC 7 we have doubled our "monthly unique users" since January 2004, with over 300,000 U.K.listeners accessing us through the internet last month.

* The second series of "Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea" (starring Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer) is going to be repeated on BBC Radio 4 starting Tuesday, 19 April at 23:30. It appears the show will air DAILY in this time slot (not once a week). You can listen to the show online at http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/ . Please note that if the show is available on Listen Again that each episode will only be available for a day, until the next episode airs.

In 'The Vampire of the Glen', our heroes are suspicious after the Laird asks them to dig a hole in his allotment large enough for a coffin-shaped wardrobe, while in 'Fame Idol', Hamish and Dougal are anxious to enter 'Fay McAdemy', the famous Highland talent contest. A contest of a different kind is on the agenda in 'The Fitness Club', when the Laird challenges Dougal to a MacAthlon, an endurance test which involves swimming Loch Crankie, cycling to the bottom of Ben Kingsley, then running the length of Glen Close.

The daffy duo try to discover the identity of the author of a series of unsettling anonymous letters in 'The Poison Pen Letters', and accidentally manage to hook the Loch Jaw Monster while out fishing in 'The Monster in the Loch'. And to round off proceedings, they find themselves stuck between floors in a trip to a well-known department store on London's Oxford Street, in 'Trapped!'

I think the most exciting thing was that the show was so well put together. I have had hundred of emails from people who, like me, just wanted to be in the same room with The Goodies, saying how wonderful the show was and I really do agree. Personally I loved the 'early days' stuff. I wrote in the program that Cambridge Circus was the first live comedy show I ever saw in 1964 in New Zealand where I grew up. Anyone who saw the show may remember they mentioned a little town called Timaru...my home town. I like to think it was a little joke specially for me but I think the hotel in Timaru was probably even worse than they said!

We wanted people to really get a sense of the importance of The Goodies in comedy history and it was great to see so many performers involved with The Big Laugh Comedy Festival talking about favourite episodes and the influence The Goodies have had on their comedy. The Umbilical Brothers, who had their own sold out show at the festival, saw several of the Goodies shows, and ten minutes before the last-minute second Sunday show in Sydney, Shane called desperate for one more ticket. Unfortunately they were all gone...every single one!

One last story...We all went out sailing on Sydney Harbour on one of the few days off during the tour. Deck Hand Tim had a bit of a close shave in a brisk wind as we jibed somewhere off Taronga Park. A rope whipped around his arm and dragged him off the fore-deck. Luckily he grabbed the hand rail and we didn't lose him over board. Melbourne actually saw all three Goodies the next night! (I hope he doesn't mind me telling this story).

Last but certainly not least...Goodies fans are the best! We met so many terrific people during the tour and the crowds outside the stage doors were brilliant.We had to drop the signings in the foyers because of the huge crowds but the smart people jammed the stage door after every show. A round of applause greeted The Goodies as they came out to get in the car...it took an hour to move about three metres...and everyone got pictures and autographs. After the first night at The State in Sydney when the guys eventually got in the car the crowd made a guard of honour and applauded as The Goodies took off for the hotel! Someone even did a traffic cop impersonation and stopped the traffic for them!

Each of the three shows I saw was basically the same, save for the odd ad lib. During the radio play at a later show, for instance, Tim, in the role of an elderly woman, has taken to calling Bill "Tiny" (a reference to Bill's rude bits). Bill ad libs, "If you call me Tiny again I won't come in anymore." Tim retorts, "That's just it. I wouldn't notice if you did!"

Flashback to 1977. Three brothers play backyard cricket in suburban Chester Hill, when the eldest shouts 'It's 6 o'clock!' They all rush inside, switch on the ABC, and are projected into the comical world of three British chaps who ride a 'trandem' bicycle and whose motto is 'We do anything anytime'. In the eyes of a 12-year-old, The Goodies is the best TV show ever. It had madcap adventures, clever wordplay and slapstick, visual gags, zany send-ups, elaborate sets and props. Remember the giant kitten, the pirate radio station, the Ecky Thump kung fu spoof, the advertising campaign for string, the plague of Rolf Harrises? Each of us brothers adopted a character. William was his namesake, Bill Oddie, the young and scruffy hippie. Harold was Graeme Garden, the mad scientist, because he wore glasses. I was Tim Brooke-Taylor, the snobbish monarchist, because he was the only one left. And because of my tendency to wear Union Jack waistcoats.

The Goodies produced an amazing 130 episodes from 1970 to 1982, and Generation X'ers (born 1965-1980) may remember watching the countless repeats every day after school. This live-action Simpsons of the 70's attracted a cult following here, even more so than in its home country. I've learned recently that in the UK, the episodes were shown only once by the BBC (no repeats), and later at night, after 8:30 pm. The Goodies was not meant to be a children's show, but the ABC didn't know that, also screening The Kenny Everett Video Show in that timeslot.

Fast forward to a Sunday night in 2005. The three brothers plus two cousins are sitting in Parramatta's Riverside Theatre, poised for the headline act of Sydney's Big Laugh Comedy Festival: The Goodies: (Still A)live On Stage. We're seeing our childhood heroes live, in Australia, in a different century. It's a surreal moment. Some British fans have flown over to be in the audience, which consists of mostly white, male Generation X'ers and baby boomers. There's nobody here under thirty, no piercings. A million questions run through our minds. What are The Goodies doing now? What will they look like? What the hell are they going to do on stage for two hours? How are they going to recreate the humour of their TV shows?

The stage is bare but for a lectern and three armchairs decorated with symbols of each Goody. The lights dim. 'Ladies and gentlemen, please make welcome The Goodies!' The crowd goes berserk. Our three superheroes hobble onto the stage, on a giant trandem walking frame. Graeme is wearing a pathetic wig and sideburns to hide his age, but he has his trademark brown jacket with elbow patches. Tim is in his blue suit with Union Jack while Bill wears a T-shirt, shorts and back-to-front baseball cap. They look older and wider (they're in their sixties), and each one takes his turn at the lectern while the other two interject from the armchairs.

Tim and Graeme still work in comedy together for BBC radio, but Bill has reinvented himself as a wildlife documentary maker. However, the old banter and rivalries are reignited immediately, with Bill introducing the balding Graeme as a man 'with a brain so large that it is bursting out of his head'. It becomes obvious the form the show is to take. They will be answering questions that fans have e-mailed them, reminiscing about making their TV series, showing clips and performing routines from their early days. It's not so much a performance, but a school reunion with old friends. The night has a vaudeville / radio show feel to it, with lots of audience cheering and applauding when a familiar scene, character or episode is recalled.

'Why did you come to Australia?' Graeme: Because we were asked. (Pause) The British government asked us to leave. Tim: Because we heard that there was an island in the south Pacific whose natives still worshipped us as gods. 'How did you meet?' At Cambridge University, where they performed in the student revue with half of Monty Python. Graeme demonstrates his audition piece, his party trick where he makes stuffed animals come to life: a tiny bunny that crawls over his shoulder, a vampire bat that lunges for his neck. The Cambridge revue was so successful that it toured New Zealand and Broadway. Up flashes a photo of Bill with John Cleese relaxing on Bondi Beach.

'What was your most painful or dangerous stunt? Did a man really die from watching an episode?' Yes, a Scotsman had a heart attack during the fight sequence in Ecky Thump. The widow sent The Goodies a letter thanking them 'for making my husband's last moments so happy'. Graeme dares us to watch this scene again, apologising for its political incorrectness. 'Which episodes were cut by TV censors?' We are shown a risqué ad for Fairy Puff washing powder from Episode 1, as well as a scene featuring boy scouts with suggestive undertones. Morals campaigner Mary Whitehouse (the British Fred Nile) first praised The Goodies for their fun-natured show, which annoyed them no end, but by 1980 she was objecting to a Saturday Night Fever parody in which Tim's underpants had a picture of a carrot.

Age has not dulled their wit either. Asked about the timing of their Australian trip, which coincided with visits from two sets of royalty, Oddie let loose. "Prince Charles is stalking Tim, but now he's given up and gone to Fiji. And, of course, Princess Mary is following us. We just said 'stop pestering us, go back to Denmark!' I know what these Danes are like. They're always naked and frolicking in the snow and all that and we said, 'no, no Mary, get back on the throne'."

Tim is busy doing the washing as Graeme and Bill return to the office from another hard day's work and they immediately launch into their hobbies (as Bill plays the drums while he peers through binoculars at stuffed birds mounted on his drum kit and Graeme straps on a headset with a portable tv mounted to it and gets comfortable, while being serviced by a range of fancy automated gadgets) without taking any time to listen to Tim, who moans about his tough day out at the shopping centre. Tim is sufficiently annoyed at their lack of attention to turn the power off, as he wants to have some company and a chat with them and after they reject the dinner that he has cooked for them (a disgustingly unappetising hogs head!), further rows break out and he concludes that their relationship just isn't working and that they need a holiday to help them to relax and sort things out.

Tim books them into a bungalow in the seaside town of Dunsquabblin for three weeks, but when they arrive, they find that the bungalow is very poorly equipped and that no modern conveniences like radios, record players or musical instruments are permitted, as loud noises disturb the sheep (and even the restrictions notice covers a sign which declares that there is a 250 pound penalty for removing the notice, which forces Bill to stick it back on the wall very quickly). The perculiarly designed bathroom with its maze of pipes (and loo half way up to the ceiling!) also causes quite a racket when it is flushed, which upsets the sheep even more and causes Tim to declare that the Goodies will just have to be like the Royal family and never go to the loo, which in turn leads Bill to tell Tim that he heard a royal blow off once, as Tim embarrassedly replies: "Probably one of the corgies!"

Graeme and Bill are lost without all of their modern electronic gadgets, but Tim finds it relaxing and plans to spend most of the time outdoors until it starts to rain heavily and the roof leaks like a sieve. Three days of non-stop rain later, boredom has set in until Tim shows Graeme and Bill the forgotten art of how to make a cup of tea without electronic help, but a few days (and dozens of cuppas) further down the track the rain continues to fall, Bill is bloated from too much tea and the others take advantage of his lack of card game knowledge to thrash him in a game of 'spat' (in which they make up the rules as they go along).

The rain still tumbles down (even in the cupboard that Graeme has painted with a nice sunny beach scene, as Tim discovers when he steps in there) and Bill desperately sets his alarm for midnight just so that he can cross off another lousy day on his tally board on the wall. He has been in bed for seventeen days, but there are still another four to survive and even Tim is starting to get very tense by now at the lack of action. Tim promises Bill that they will go bird watching the next day, regardless of the rain and they realise that it has finally stopped raining - only for Bill to open the window and get blown off his feet by a fierce blizzard of snow!

Bill has to be content with watching a yellow rubber duck (which is conveniently pictured in his birdspotting book!) strapped onto Tim's head, Tim's punny 'puffin' and painful 'flycatcher' impressions and finally Graeme as a web-footed crane (after he has been attempting to snorkel in the bathtub) and although they all try to relax on banana lounges, they are far too tense and the holiday appears to have done them more harm than good.

To mark their final night at Dunsquabblin, they decide to put on an old fashioned Victorian musical evening to entertain themselves, with Graeme as compere, Tim as the first act (with both of them in tuxedos which they somehow amazingly managed to pack in their holiday gear!) and Bill dressed up as Queen Victoria herself (as one Tim is not amused!). Their gentle rendition of 'Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Sea Side' soon degenerates as Bill firstly does a fair impersonation of Animal from the Muppets on the drums and then all three turn into shouting punk rockers who trash their hellhole cabin to bits, as Tim declares that it's the best holiday he's ever had!

* Only a few small cameos including the deafening racket caused by the mass of plumbing pipes in the bathroom when the loo (which sits half way up the wall!) is flushed (causing Tim to demand that none of them are to go to the bog for the next three weeks), Graeme and Tim's silly bird impersonations (especially Tim's flycatcher!), Graeme's glasses being fitted with little windscreen wipers when the roof is leaking and Tim creating an interesting sound effect by blasting a nosy sheep away from the window with a shotgun during their punk rock performance of 'Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Sea Side' (which incidentally contains the only usage of the f - word (bleeped-out) by the Goodies in the entire run of the show, although it appears as though Brother Ignatius also mouths it when he breaks his silence in Wacky Wales after Mary Whitehouse has roughly tackled him!)

One final attempt to recapture the 'trapped with nowhere to go' atmosphere of earlier studio-based classics like The End and Earthanasia, but this time it fails miserably with a plot almost completely devoid of funny dialogue or visual scenes - a very rare dud episode among a decade-long run of classic comedy and probably only rarely screened on television in any case, so most fans haven't seen how bad it is anyway.