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C&G 114 May 2005
#114 May 2005 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 24/12/2006


» #114 May 2005

Issue No. 114                    18th May 2005
E-mail <> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message. If you are using multiple or forwarded e-mail addresses, please specify the e-mail address which you originally used when subscribing, otherwise we may not be able to remove you from the mailing list.
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Newsletter enquiries:
General enquiries:
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
- Brett Allender <>
- Lisa Manekofsky <>
- David Piper-Balston <>
- Alison Bean <>
- Linda Kay <>
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - News and club happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
QUOTE: "And what did the last lot of tourists who came here do? They conquered us!"
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Which group of tourists was he referring to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Cecily"
(d) What was the essential requirement for the babysitting job that the Goodies took on?
(e) How did the Goodies meet this requirement?
(f) Which housekeeping chore does Graeme undertake?
(g) How many other nannies have mysteriously disappeared?
(h) Which building does Cecily blow up first?
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
(by Alison Bean)
The Auction Czar has been rooting around in the back room of GROK's disused railway station and has discovered (amongst the millions of copies of Monarch of the Glen) some more rare items of Goodies merchandise. These items, which have all been autographed by Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie, will be auctioned at
To bid on the items you will need to be a registered user of The Goodies Rule - OK! website (registration is free).
The first two auctions start at 10am (Australian Central Time) on Monday 23rd May and the second two auctions start at 10am (Australian Central Time) on Monday 30th May.
Visit and click on Goody Auctions from 10am on Monday 23rd May for further details. Or e-mail The Auction Czar - - with your questions.
* The UQ Goodies Appreciation Society is a Goodies fan club based in Brisbane at the University of Queensland. They meet every week to eat pizza and watch Goodies and other British comedy as well as other silly events on weekends and holidays.
Anyone is welcome to join; the membership fee is $2.
Interested parties can contact club president Dan Foley at
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
Our club President, Lisa Manekofsky, has recently been busy putting together an excellent website containing an illustrated guide to the various Goodies DVDs, videos, CDs, records and books that have been released since the 1970s. To check out Lisa's handiwork, go to:
4. 2001 AND A BIT
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
* From
Bill Oddie to receive Peter Scott Memorial Award
Well-known broadcaster and naturalist Bill Oddie will receive the British Naturalists' Association's Peter Scott Memorial Award on Saturday 14 May at the BNA's Nature over Time centenary conference at Cressing Temple, Braintree, Essex, in recognition of his great contribution to our understanding of natural history and conservation. This conference is part of a major natural history weekend event, which is open to the public and plays host to the BNA's findings from 100 years of wildlife study, as well as research findings from organisations including DEFRA. David Bellamy, celebrated botanist, writer and broadcaster, is President of the BNA and will chair the conference and present Bill Oddie with his award. The event also includes natural history workshops, a gala concert, art exhibition, and on Sunday 15 May, celebrations of the tercentenary of natural scientist John Ray.
Bill Oddie is leading the BBC's Springwatch mass nature observation project, to help identify if climate change is affecting animals and plants in our countryside. Public interest in natural history and nature observation with changing seasons ('phenology') is being given a tremendous boost by this project.
"We want to encourage people of all ages to go out and enjoy the unique wildlife that Britain has to offer, as well as learn about nature from television programmes," said Roger Tabor, Chairman of the BNA. "This event is a celebration of wildlife, and helping people get to know nature with practical experience will really aid their understanding of their place in it."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* "Bill Oddie Goes Wild in California" will be repeated by BBC 2 on Sunday 24th April from 18:10 to 18:40.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* A nature documentary narrated by Bill Oddie, "The Eagle Has Landed", will be repeated on BBC 2 on Wednesday, 4 May from 20:00-20:50.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* UKTV Style Gardens is still showing repeats of "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" at various times (please consult your local schedule for details).
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* "Seven Natural Wonders" with Bill will air on Monday 16th May on BBC 2 from 19:00 to 19:30. Here's a listing: "Bill Oddie explores London's seven most popular natural wonders. His journey takes him through forests, into secret gardens and along the Thames as he uncovers a wondrous landscape that has helped to shape so much of the capital."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th May)
* "Secret Squirrels" with Bill gets another repeat on Wednesday 18th May on BBC 2 from 20:50 to 21:00. Here's a listing: "Bill Oddie looks at one of the last remaining strongholds in the country for red squirrels. How Formby in Merseyside has remained a home for Britain's native squirrel, which has steadily become outnumbered by greys."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th May)
* Bill will appear in an episode of "Gardeners' World" on Friday 20th May on BBC 2; the show airs from 20:00 to 21:00. Here's a listing: "With Monty Don, Joe Swift, Carol Klein and Sarah Raven. Monty expands the container vegetable garden at Berryfields and sees Prince Charles's Hosta collection at Highgrove. Sarah focuses visits the Totally Tomato Festival at West Dean Gardens in Sussex, Carol is in the cottage garden adding Aquilegias and Dicentra, and Joe builds a courtyard water feature. Bill Oddie who shows Monty the best ways of encouraging wildlife into the garden."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th May)
* ITV2 is repeating the first two parts of Bill's appearance on "Married With Children" at various times on Friday 20th May (please check your local listings). Watch for the concluding episode, "The England Show, Part 3", to air in the near future.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th May)
* The first series of "Giles Wemmbley Hogg" is being repeated on BBC7 on Thursdays at 22:00-22:30 (it's then repeated overnight at 3:30-4:00am on Friday). The repeats actually started last Thursday (28 April) but the first episode is still available online via Listen Again from   (live broadcasts can also be heard at this site).
This show starts Marcus Brigstocke and was written by Marcus Brigstocke & Jeremy Salsby with additional material by Graeme Garden.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 2nd May)
* One of Graeme's appearances in "Have I Got News For You" will be repeated on Monday, 23 May on UKTV Gold (at 00:35) and UKTV Gold Plus 1 (at 01:35). I believe this will be the earlier of his two appearances.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th May)
* There is more about the DVD release of "At Last The 1948 Show" at:
(Alison Bean - Goodies-l - 19th April)
* Tim's appearance in "Shooting Stars" will be repeated on Monday, 2 May on UKTV Gold from 22:55-23:35.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* Repeats of "Golf Clubs with Tim Brooke-Taylor" continue to be shown on Thursdays on Discovery Home & Leisure on Thursdays at 4:30-5:00 and Discovery Home & Leisure Plus 1 from 05:30 to 06:00.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* "Hello Cheeky", the 1970's radio series starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, and John Junkin, is returning to BBC 7 on Sunday 15th May at 21:30 (the episode will be repeated Monday 16th May at 04:30). This can be heard online at   either live or via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. 
It appears that BBC7 will be running a series of "Hello Cheeky", as we'd hoped. BBC7's website says that the episode it aired last week was from April 1973, making this the first series of "Hello Cheeky".
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 11th & 17th May)
Sports stars help raise £60,000
SPORTS personalities descended on Ascot at the weekend and helped raise more than £60,000 for research into childhood illnesses.
The sporting heroes, which included captain of England's World Cup-winning rugby team Martin Johnson and football manager turned television presenter Jimmy Hill, were among 400 guests, including many Ascot residents, at the third annual Ascot Charity Ball on Saturday night.
The event, held at the Ramada Royal Berkshire Hotel, in London Road, was organised by the Ascot Charitable Trust to raise funds for SPARKS (Sport Aiding Medical Research for Kids).
Donations from the night will also be made to Ascot Alzheimer's Association, North Ascot Neighbourhood Scheme, where elderly people help more infirm elderly, Heatherwood Hospital baby unit, and BEN, a Sunninghill-based charity supporting those who worked in the motor industry.
Celebrities at Saturday's £95-per-head event included ex-Arsenal and England striker Tony Woodcock, British touring car champion Rob Gravett, Jane Omorogbe - Rio from LWT's Gladiators, and Tim Brooke-Taylor from the 70s programme The Goodies.
An auction which included memorabilia from David Beckham, Pelé and Wayne Rooney raised £50,000, with bids of £8,000 for a signed Martin Johnson rugby shirt and £11,000 for a private jet trip to New York.
Martin Johnson, president of SPARKS, said he and his wife enjoyed the evening tremendously and everyone at SPARKS was delighted with the fundraising result.
He said: "A lot of the money will go towards helping more babies to survive and thrive."
Ascot businessman and chairman of Ascot Charitable Trust, Alan Carr, originally established the trust to organise a ball for the Thames Valley and Chiltern Air Ambulance.
He said: "It's a local event but it supports national charities that we are all fond of."
(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - 12th May)
* According to a press release from Tango Entertainment the forthcoming "At Last The 1948 Show" DVD will contain five episodes from that series. The press release, which can be found at , is reprinted below.
Vendors such as are already taking pre-orders on the DVD. Amazon's current price is $20.99 (30% off the suggested retail price of $29.98).
~~~~~~~ edited text of press release ~~~~~~~~~~
"On The Heels of 14 Tony Nominations for "MONTY PYTHON'S SPAMALOT" Including Best Musical, Best Musical Score and Best Book of a Musical! See Eric Idle and Members of The Python Crew Before "Monty Python's Flying Circus" When "At Last The 1948 Show" & "Do Not Adjust Your Set" Come to The States for the First Time Ever on DVD From Tango Entertainment
Featuring Britain's Funniest Comedians Including John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Eric Idle & Brand-New Interviews With Original Cast Members SANTA MONICA, CA -- (MARKET WIRE) -- 05/12/2005 -- Good Heavens, 14 Tony Nominations for "MONTY PYTHON'S SPAMALOT!" Now, it's time for everyone to get the chance to see two smashingly funny television shows that laid the groundwork for the "Monty Python's Flying Circus" series. Tango Entertainment is proud to debut "AT LAST THE 1948 SHOW" and "DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET" on July 26, available in the U.S. for the first time on DVD. These sketch comedy shows starred some of the eventual cast members of "Monty Python's Flying Circus," including John Cleese and Eric Idle, who is nominated for "MONTY PYTHON'S SPAMALOT" in the "Best Book of a Musical" and "Best Original Score" categories. Preorder date is July 13.
Python fans will be elated to find out that some of the funniest Monty Python skits originated here and are available for the first time ever on DVD in the United States. Both DVDs will be available for $29.98 each and also include brand-new interviews with original cast members and a Comedy Family Tree Poster Booklet.
"AT LAST THE 1948 SHOW" was written and performed by Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese and Marty Feldman (in his first television appearance). The show also featured the "Lovely Aimi McDonald," and special appearances by Barry Cryer and Eric Idle. Produced by David Frost and directed by Ian Fordyce, each show was filmed before a live audience. The show's name was actually a joke in itself. It was called "AT LAST THE 1948 SHOW" because the series sat on a shelf for months before ever airing on British television. When the show was ready to air, black and white production was becoming obsolete, so the networks didn't plan on ever showing any of the 13 25-minute episodes. However, the series finally aired in 1967. It is said that this is where the idea of British sketch comedy was born and that many famous Monty Python skits were introduced for the first time on these programs, including the "4 Yorkshiremen." Monty Python fans will be absolutely delighted to see these great skits that are just as funny now as when they, well, almost never aired! On July 26, Tango Entertainment will unveil five episodes of the classic series on DVD for the very first time.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 12th May)
* I don't have any details yet, but I've heard from the company producing the "At Last The 1948 Show" and "Do Not Adjust Your Set" DVDs that they do plan to release them in the UK as well as the US. 
The US release date for both titles is July 26th. I've written to ask about the planned UK release date; I'll let you know when I have any further news.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th May)
* "Hamish & Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea" series 2 episodes 4-6 will be repeated on BBC Radio 4 this Tuesday - Thursday (26-28 April) at 23:30 each day. The show can be heard online at . Each episode will then be available for a day via Listen Again.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* BBC 7 airs repeats of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" with Tim and Graeme and "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" with all three Goodies on Mondays; the shows can be heard online at . Each show is then available for the next six days via the Listen Again service.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd April)
* The following message was recently sent to the ISIHAC mailing list. The offer of free shipping is, to the best of my knowledge, only for shipping to UK addresses. I've written to ask if there is any special offer for overseas orders but haven't received a reply yet.
Please note that the book is actually on sale at for 6.39; it's eligible for free UK delivery if your total order is over £19. 
-----Original Message-----
Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member,
We bring you long-awaited news of the publication of the best of the New Definitions round in I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, which many of you have asked for us to publish over the years. Your reward? A discount on the Recommended Retail Price negotiated specially and exclusively for people on this emailing list.
The book is called 'The Uxbridge English Dictionary'. It's a hardback, priced at £7.99, and it contains the funniest new definitions of words taken from this round over the years we've been playing it.
Apart from the teams' suggestions, it includes definitions by Stephen Fry, Andy Hamilton, Jeremy Hardy, Jack Dee, Bill Bailey, Harry Hill, Ross Noble, Linda Smith and Sandi Toksvig.
We think it is far and away our best book yet and have hopes that it could become a best-seller. I urge you to take advantage of the offer made by the kind people at Harper Collins.
The book normally retails at £7.99. It is available to you at the price of £6.99 (which includes postage and packing). There are two ways of purchasing it:
By phone on 0870 787 1724 (quoting a credit card number) between the hours of 8.30am - 5.30pm Monday to Friday. You need to quote the following mailshot code: 'UED'.
By post (enclosing a cheque at £6.99, made payable to 'Harper Collins Publishers', and the mailshot code 'UED'). The postal address is:
Customer Services (UED Promotion)
HarperCollins Publishers
Westerhill Road
G64 2QT
You need to allow 7 - 10 days for delivery.
The email address is should you wish to email them.
The offer will last until the end of May 2005.
You can see what the book looks like by clicking on the following link:
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 6th May)
* From the latest edition of BBC 7's newsletter comes news that they'll be broadcasting an hour-long xmas edition of "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" this coming Sunday. Don't forget that you can hear an episode of "Hello Cheeky" (with Tim) that day as well.
Both shows can be heard at , either live on the day of broadcast or for the next six days via Listen Again.
Here's the excerpt from the newsletter:
ISIRTA: Dick Cinderella.
Hang on! It's May. Why the panto? Well, when we broadcast this at Christmas our Listen Again feature was not functioning properly, and many listeners were disappointed. So, almost five months later, here it is! This hour long vintage edition of I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again was first broadcast in 1968 with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie, John Cleese, Jo Kendall, Graeme Garden and David Hatch delivering puns and double entendre aplenty. Who says Christmas comes but once a year? Sunday 11am and 8pm.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 12th May)
(contributed by Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 28th April)
The following interview is from
The wild man shows off his mild side
(Filed: 28/04/2005)
Bill Oddie has given wildlife programmes 'soap opera' appeal. Elizabeth Grice meets him
Bill Oddie is a more serious man than you might expect, but his house is decorated like a Turkish brothel and his garden is pure lunacy: a grotto of ceramic kitsch, decoy birds and old road signs.
Older and wiser: Bill Oddie prefers wildlife to his showbiz years
At least 60 garden gnomes, mostly wedding presents, are corralled under a straggly hedge. Windchimes, mobiles, plastic windmills and pieces of coloured glass spin madly in the breeze. There are several plaster owls and two murky ponds the size of puddles, from which this year's frogspawn have wisely disappeared.
Oddie, the greatest populist naturalist on television, pokes around in the pond-weed, but concludes that pond-weed is about the only living organism we are likely to encounter today. Though there are no birds to be seen either, he assures me that the local wildlife is not so daft as to think the scowling birds of prey are real. I wonder.
What is his ambition for the garden? "It's my playground," he says, plodding out in shabby carpet slippers to inspect it. The bizarre habitat of the tousle-headed Oddie reflects the character of its occupant and provides excellent camouflage. Apart from the slippers, he is dressed like an ageing hippie, in combat trousers and a striped grandad shirt. He has silver tokens hanging round his neck. If the wind blows, he will probably jangle, too.
This morning, he was up at seven and walking Hampstead Heath where, as with some of his wildlife programmes, not a lot was happening. Too early for butterflies and dragonflies, no osprey to be seen on their migratory path to Scotland, not even a swallow. "Today was absolutely boring," he confirms. "Particularly boring. But hope springs eternal."
Exactly. The genius of Oddie, who has come more and more to resemble Raymond Briggs's off-duty Father Christmas, is that he can make hope an interesting activity in itself. If there are no foxes, or his cameraman has just missed them, he can ad-lib for half an hour in the expectation that they will come back. If a family of great tits flies off the day before filming, who's he to grumble? "There are other birds waiting in the wings for their big chance. I like it when something like that happens."
Oddie's anarchic streak can be alarming. He doesn't use a script. He doesn't have a presenting mode. "I just carry on as normal and treat the camera as a mixture of a companion and a viewer." Directors are rudderless because they have no idea what he is going to do or when he's finished. Their notes will say something vague like: "Bill welcomes us to the Lake District and mentions deer." But Bill may not mention deer at all. Bill may be wriggling on his stomach watching badgers or hiding behind a bush with his binoculars trained on lapwings.
He gets a big adrenalin rush from live broadcasts, where birds and animals do not behave as they should and nothing is guaranteed. This, he thinks, plus the anthropomorphic appeal of tragi-comic goings on in the natural world, is what draws such spectacular audiences for programmes such as Britain Goes Wild. Viewers numbered between three and four million an episode last year (compared with 3.9 million for Hell's Kitchen and four to six million for Big Brother).
"I would stake my life on the belief that the reason people keep watching is the day-to-day, soap opera-type adventures of birds and animals - when they lose a family or one of them gets killed. That's what hooks people. They want to know what happens next. However much you change the title [Wild in Your Garden, How to Watch Wildlife, Bill Oddie Goes Wild] the ingredients and the appeal to the public are the same."
In all his comedy days as a Goodie, Oddie was never happier than he is now. His overflowing enthusiasm for his subject swamps any carping about the "oversimplification" of natural history programmes - usually measured against the more academic approach of his idol, Sir David Attenborough - and his extemporisation is part of the appeal. At the end of a recording, Oddie will usually proffer something unbroadcastable, such as "OK, we'll now show you how to cook and eat them."
"One isn't trying to belittle anything or be facetious but I'm certainly aware of the humorous side. By and large, there's not been a lot of laughs in wildlife programmes. That's fine, because it's very secretive and very impressive and very awestruck, and I'm all for being a bit awestruck, but anyone who works with wildlife will confirm the joyous news that they have a lot of fun."
Viewers who remember Oddie being urinated on by a cow (during a live news broadcast) or floating helplessly on his back in an unweighted dry suit while swimming with seals off Lundy, will realise that his sense of humour is sometimes severely tested. In the seals episode, he blew up like Michelin man and was unable to see. "I could have had Jaws behind me. The Titanic could have been going down and I wouldn't have known. But if I was going to be humiliated I was determined not to waste it. I carried on doing a piece to camera with about 10 seals popping out of the water as if to say: 'What the bloody hell is going on?' That clip has been requested by sadistic viewers more than once."
Oddie's retrospective tour to Australia attracted queues of fans and was 'completely surreal'
Proud as he is of his comedy years, Oddie infinitely prefers the world of wildlife. "On every level," he says. "You are dealing with people who really care about what they are doing and don't have egos and don't have the theatrical traditions or rivalries. It's a lot healthier."
He was reminded just how much healthier last month when he and his fellow ex-Goodies, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graham (sic) Garden, were invited to Australia on a retrospective tour. Thirteen shows and 25,000 tickets were sold out within a day. There were queues of fans, autograph signings, the whole bit. "It was completely surreal, like being plunged back into the Seventies and that rock concert ethos. Who would not enjoy two weeks' complete adulation? But it wasn't half weird."
Oddie, 63, was born in Rochdale, Lancashire, and brought up on the edge of Birmingham. Aged eight, he started collecting birds' eggs, then graduated to birdwatching, mainly to escape the leaden atmosphere at home. His grandmother was repressive, his father withdrawn and his mother spent most
of her days in a mental institution. "It wasn't that she had been killed or died," he says. "She seemed to have disappeared. I had no memories, except of coming back and finding the house smashed up after she was allowed home one weekend."
Oddie assumed that he'd muddled through his childhood pretty well, asking no questions, getting by. "I dismissed it as something I had no control over. I didn't want to undermine what had, in a sense, got me through till this point." Then he had two breakdowns himself and started trying to piece things together.
"I thought: Wait a minute, my mother didn't end up in a mental hospital for no reason at all. He went to see her sister, his Auntie Margery, and just as the bits began to fall into place, BBC researchers for the family history programme, Who Do You Think You Are? came along and finished the job for him. He discovered he had a sister who died at five days old, and that his mother had also suffered a miscarriage when her baby was almost at term. She had flipped.
"It completely rewrote my assumption of what my mother was," says Oddie. "It undemonised her. I've started to build up a picture of her. She was very jolly and musical. If there is any continuity in the genes, I must have inherited quite a lot from her."
Oddie has a reputation for curmudgeonly behaviour but, since getting his family history ironed out, he seems to have mellowed. His three grandchildren come to rearrange his gnomes - and he lets them. He says he's even thinking of toning down the eye-watering interior decoration and "going for something a little bit more sober".
The only time I catch a glimpse of his old, choleric self is when we get on to Bush, Blair and the election. All the time we've been talking, Oddie has been playing with two bundles of joss-sticks and a small screwdriver in a bowl. The jiggling becomes intense as he rails against Tony Blair's "uncondonable" prosecution of the Iraq war and his "mindless backing up of Bush". For the first time in his life, he will not be voting Labour.
Two months ago, he says crossly, Blair called global warming the most important issue of the day. Now, it's never mentioned. Although he's soon to present a new series of Springwatch - the BBC's major survey inviting viewers to monitor wildlife across Britain and report the effects of climate change - Oddie is much more concerned about the consequences for humanity: flooding. "At least take it seriously and care," he says. "It is far more dramatic and worrying in the long run. I'm all for wildlife - but I'd like to be alive to see it."
Springwatch begins on BBC 2 next month
BBC - Springwatch
(by Brett Allender)
Series 9, Episode 6
First screened: 13th February 1982
Tim walks out of Graybags Pet Shop with a 'Barbara Woodhouse Dog Training Kit' under his arm and into the men's loo, then comes out from the women's loo dressed like Barbara (one final gender bender role with white hair, black glasses and eminently sensible top and skirt) and unwraps a brown paper parcel on the park lawn which contains his new dog (Terrance from the earlier Animals episode). His commands (in a very strange high-pitched authoritive voice) for the dog to do various tricks fall on deaf ears (as Terrance sits there impassively just like in his previous appearances), but Bill and several other men who wander through the park all obey Tim's commands to the letter, much to the interest of Graeme who watches all of this through binoculars from the doorway of his shop.
Tim returns to the shop and complains (in Barbara's nutty voice) that he does not like this "dawg" that Graeme has given him. Graeme casually stuffs the dog in a rubbish bin and shows Tim his new line of pets - a bunch of people dressed as dogs in a cage. Tim chooses Bill ("the runt of the litter!") and takes him for walkies, as Graeme changes the signage to Graybags Person Shop and soon sells out of people assortedly dressed as dogs, mice, parrots and other animals.
However Tim soon tires of Bill as a pet and refuses to tickle his tummy, call him pet names (like the revoltingly cute "smidgeon flufflet"!) or let him sleep on the bed and ultimately decides to dump him in the river in the dead of night. However the combination of Bill's sad brown eyes and plaintive whining proves too much and Tim just can't drown him, so apologises and Bill narrates a visual sequence which shows that cuddly human puppies make endearing Christmas presents, but are often unwanted and mistreated by the time that the children go back to school. Eventually the puppies are dumped or escape and there are thousands of strays scrounging around the rubbish dumps of London.
Tim forms the TSPCP (Tim's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to People) in a bid to round up all of the wretched strays and take them to a better life at the Battersea Mans Home , however he soon has far too many stray human animals to care for. Meanwhile Graeme is packing his surplus animals into boxes in an alley when he takes a bite out of his tortoise and comes up with an idea for a whole new business venture - the Rumbling Tum Carnivorous Cuisine restaurant. Tim is one of his first customers, but is revolted when he realises that he has been eating pet animals (like hamsterburgers and gerbil dumplings) and Graeme reveals that he will soon have to close down because there will be no stray animals left to eat.
Graeme also suggests that Tim should put some of his oversupply of stray people to work doing the jobs which the animals used to do and so Tim (now "a leading philanthropist and person with shiny shoes"!) saves all of the Battersea strays from being put down on the weekend by getting people to employ them as working animals, including police dogs, guard soccer hooligans, homing pigeons and horses to tow the Royal carriage. Over a hundred strays have also been sent to Dr. Graybungles Person Farm, but Tim is horrified when he realises that they are being fattened up for slaughter and races to the farm to foil Graeme's plans.
Graeme firstly has to deal with the demands of Bill and a team of bullocks (for an increased ale supply, a disco and a visiting masseur) who turn nasty when Tim tells them that Graeme is going to send them to the butchers. Graeme vows that they will never catch him, jumps out of the window and gallops away on a human horse (as the bullocks also jump out, with Bill yelling "Geronimoo!" as he leaps!) and Tim has to resort to his Barbara Woodhouse persona to track him down with the help of two human bloodhounds. Despite the use of some vegetable horns to make himself look like a cow, Graeme is eventually roosted high in the air by a charging bullock and lands among a flock of sheep people who are herded into a pen.
He makes one last spectacular dive into a trough of sheep dip, but as he is surrounded by angry human animals, Graeme takes a deep breath and disappears below the water surface. Later when everything is back to normal, Tim and Bill are seated underneath a tree ready to tuck into a huge pie. Tim finds Graeme's glasses in his slice and exclaims "You didn't ...?!" in a shocked voice, but Bill smiles, says "No!"and throws the glasses to Graeme, who is chained up to a kennel which has a prominent 'Beware Of The Looney' sign on it, as the Bugs Bunny/Porky Pig style "That's All Folks!" cartoon theme flashes onto the screen.
* Tim (in Graeme's shop as Barbara Woodhouse, in a very silly voice): "They're nort dawgs, they're pipple!"
* Tim (in bed): "Well, you're not sleeping on here anymore. You keep me awake chasing rabbits in your sleep."
Bill (as a dog): "They're not rabbits I'm chasing!" (laughs dirtily)
Tim (disgusted): "You randy little cur! You are permanently on heat, aren't you?!"
* Graeme (as waiter): "Those hamsterburgers are one hundred percent Nigel and Kenneth."
Tim: "Nigel and Kenneth?!"
Graeme: "Yes, you selected them when you came in."
Tim (shocked): "I was just saying hello!"
Graeme: "Well I'm sorry Tim, but wishing won't bring them back."
Tim (about to throw up): "Don't be too sure!"
* Graeme: "Tell you what, would you like some pickles?"
Tim (relieved): "Oh, pickles please!"
Graeme (calling a small dog while holding a huge knife in his hand!): "Here Pickles, c'mon Pickles!"
* Graeme: "Oh, before you go, don't forget your doggy bag."
Tim (suspiciously): And what's in that?"
Graeme: "Doggy!"
* Graeme (to his herd of human beef bullocks): "Oh you fools! This plan could have made us all rich! In some cases dead ... but rich!"
* Tim dressed as Barbara Woodhouse taking his new human dog Bill for a walk, including Bill sniffing at everything along the way, chasing full-tilt after a car with Tim in tow holding the leash, Tim crashing heavily into a lamp post and then Bill shaping up to leave his mark on it afterwards!
* Tim taking Bill on the longest walkies of them all - a midnight trip to the river carrying Bill in a big bag with an even bigger brick attached to it, with Bill untying the rope and sending Tim on a huge leap into the river holding just the brick and then using his big sad brown eyes and desperate whimpering to shame Tim into not dumping him (chuckling wickedly until an angry Tim prepares to drown him again, before turning on another burst of waterworks from him with more howling and sad expressions!)
* The footage of Bill the puppy being given to a family with three young children as a Christmas present, especially him initially getting looked after with a bowlful of Moet, a plate of steak and chips, a cigar and a Playboy mag, the kids later using him in thoughtless games (like the little girl twanging the elastic holding Bill's puppy nose on with quite a bit of force, which would have ruddy well hurt!) and his escape where he races out across the road, causing a car to brake heavily and a cyclist to crash into the bonnet (with the cyclist and driver cursing Bill as he playfully gallops away!)
* Tim dining at Graeme's 'Rumbling Tum Carnivorous Cuisine' eatery, including him munching away on hamsterburgers and gerbil dumplings as he thinks that the names are just a nasty gimmick (until Graeme reminds him of the Trade Descriptions Act!), trying to remove the taste with twiglets only for Graeme to inform him that they're stick insects, wanting some pickles until Graeme prepares to slice up Pickles the dog and then getting a doggy bag (full of doggy) in any case!
* The last Goodies mad chase scene with Graeme fleeing from his enraged bullocks and other human farm animals, scattering nervous chukky hens, dodging bloodhounds under Barbara's command, getting splattered by duck eggs and being herded along with the sheep until being dunked in a sheep dip trough, and the very final sequence of Bill and Tim eating a big pie and finding Graeme's glasses in it, with Graeme chained in a kennel appropriately labelled 'Beware of the looney!' and the 'That's all folks' cartoon ending.
Walking The Dog
Up Country
A reasonable episode to conclude the series (and indeed, the run of the show) with, but a little flat as it is one of the very rare times that the Goodies get overly preachy about a topic (in this case, the dumping of unwanted animals) rather than relentlessly sending it up for all that it's worth. The Merry Melodies-style "That's all folks" ending is appropriate enough, but as previously mentioned, Change Of Life would have been a far more apt episode for them to sign off with.
III    Goody Goody Yum Yum
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III   - Goody goody yum yum.
II    - Fair-y punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' pikelets.
(by Linda Kay)
Issue 173
22nd September, 1973 No. 61
The Goodies used the theme of exploration in their show, most notably in the now-somewhat-non-PC episode "The Lost Tribe." In that episode the trio set out to find a lost explorer by setting out into the wilds of England. This idea is somewhat mirrored here, although Cor!! Comics had also done safari-style Goodies strips before. Redundant perhaps, but the final joke would make venturing into this territory again well worthwhile.
The Goodies are in their office when a man dressed as an explorer and brandishing a rifle comes storming in. Graeme throws his hands high in the air at the sight of the gun and Bill starts to fall backwards out of his chair.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: Don't worry, chaps ... it's only me, Colonel Washington Swamplimper! I want you to help me trace the source of the *River Ooze!* I've been away from home for *years* trying to find it!
The Colonel continues with his plea as Graeme listens attentively.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: Nobody has ever founds its source! It runs through *unmapped territory* - through uncharted terrain peopled by *savage natives* and running alive with *wild animals!* What do you say, men?
GRAEME: We'll pack some sandwiches!
The Goodies are dressed in explorer's gear aboard their trandem (Bill has so much luggage and equipment on the back of the bike with him the rear wheel is sagging terribly). Bill is peering over Graeme's shoulder through a spyglass at where they're going.
GRAEME: Where are we meeting him?
TIM: By the banks of the .. !
The trandem and the Goodies suddenly drop into the river with a SPLOOSH, disappearing completely!
The Colonel is in a boat on the river and helps the Goodies climb aboard.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: Don't panic, chaps! Are you alright?
BILL: This happens to us almost *every week!* I'm beginning to think it's a PLOT!
The Goodies are paddling down the river with the Colonel sitting in charge in the back when a crocodile rises out of the water ahead of them with a GRAAAH! Bill casually throws a small, wrapped square package into the crocodile's mouth.
BILL: Right!
They float past the crocodile, who is clutching its shut mouth and looking aggravated.
TIM: What did you do?
BILL: I gave him our lunch - TREACLE SANDWICHES!
Suddenly Bill is on his feet, aiming his rifle at the river ahead.
BILL: Look out everybody!
Bill fires wildly into the rocky water ahead.
TIM: What on earth are you doing?
BILL: *Shooting the rapids,* of course!
The Colonel is looking behind him as the boat continues to drift downstream.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: I say, chaps ... we should be heading *up*stream!
The Goodies and the Colonel are carrying the boat upstream along the banks of the river over their heads as some natives watch from the bushes. From the viewpoint of the natives it looks like some long, eight-legged animal.
NATIVE #1: Ugh! Look! Heap strange animal ... we go *huntum!*
The natives chuck their spears at the boat, hitting the underside. The Goodies and the Colonel start running.
TIM: Eek! We're being *attacked! Run* for it, men!
As they run, Bill (who is quite a bit shorter than the rest) lifts up his feet so he's being carried along by the others.
BILL (thinking): I think I'll have a rest and PUT MY FEET UP! *Hee, hee!* 
The Goodies and the Colonel are using the spears which had been stuck into the boat as fishing poles.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: I say, chaps ... these spears make jolly fine *fishing rods,* what?
TIM: Fish and chips for supper! *Slurp!*
The Colonel leaps out of the boat when it runs aground.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: We've run aground! We've *run out of river!* It's just a stream now!
The Goodies and the Colonel are following the small stream through the wilderness, which is looking more like a park.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: Not much further to go, men ... it's getting *smaller* all the time!
The stream turns into a smaller trickle and finally it's a bit of water running in a gutter alongside a city street in a residential neighborhood. The Colonel points to a small paper boat floating in the gutter.
They end up following the water up the front walk of a house with a sign above that reads "Balaclava."
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: Well, of all the ... this is MY HOUSE!
They enter the house and go to the bathroom where a bathtub tap is running. The Colonel moves to turn off the tap.
COL. SWAMPLIMPER: I say, chaps ... sorry to put you to all that trouble! It's not a river at all ... I must have left the jolly old BATH WATER running!
Sign-Off Line: The Fun Flows Freely When The Goodies Return Next Week!
IIII - Official amazing.
When a comic strip manages to put together a neat series of jokes and puns, build an interesting story line and then deliver such a painful payoff as this one does, you simply have to admit it was a fun ride.
The dialogue and amount of jokes are not as consistent and strong as in past strips, but when a joke does hit it really works. Bill's comment about their seemingly falling into water every week and that he thinks there's a *plot* against them is a cute dig at the degradation they have suffered within the pages of Cor!! each week.
Again there are a number of funny background jokes to find in the various panels. The overloaded trandem as they go to meet the Colonel is clever, and if one looks closely they can see a bag of golf clubs amongst the equipment and a toothpaste tube falling off the rear! The Goodies lose their hats (and Graeme his glasses) as they fall into the river, showing us where they had been just moments before. As the Colonel picks them up on the river we can see a monkey under an umbrella fishing on the banks of the river. Also in the background we see what looks like a busy highway bridge crossing the river (our hint that this is all still taking place in and around London).
When the crocodile confronts the Goodies on the river there is a Tarzan-man swinging on a vine on the opposite bank. In the next panel the Tarzan has done a "George of the Jungle" by smashing into a tree (what looks like a lion is watching this from behind a tree). When Bill starts "shooting the rapids" (definitely the best pun in the strip) we can see a parking meter sticking up out of the water. As the Colonel comes to the conclusion they should be going "upstream" he is looking at some garbage floating in the river behind their boat.
As they begin fishing using the spears we see Tim has caught a fish and the Colonel is throwing out a line with a worm on it to a hungry crocodile. Bill has left his spear wedged into the boat so he doesn't have to hold it to fish. As they follow the stream through the park-like area there is a little bird with a life preserver around his neck watching them. And finally when they approach the Colonel's house there are several milk bottles and newspapers at the front door.
Although the humor is taken out of the hands of our heroes in the last panels, this outing proves to be a very silly comic and a good example of how well the Goodies could work in a comic strip form.
To view these strips online, you can visit this page:
We'll post the currently reviewed issue plus the two previous issues for latecomers.
(a) Bill Oddie
(b) The Romans
(c) Rome Antics
(d) A female nanny
(e) By getting Tim to drag up!
(f) Weeding the garden / mowing the lawn
(g) Twelve
(h) The summer house
8    Goodies fan supreme
7    Mastermind of the year
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
- #115: - 12th June 2005.
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