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Autumnwatch's Kate Humble: 'Why I want to kill Bill Oddie'

By Frances Hubbard
Last updated at 1:03 AM on 25th October 2008

It is TV's most dramatic soap opera, full of power, passion and murder.
But Autumnwatch's Kate Humble says the biggest troublemaker is co-host Bill Oddie ... and she'd love to wring his neck.

They're the perfect foil for one another. Here's Bill Oddie - rotund, garrulous, eccentric - and there's Kate Humble, all windswept blonde hair and winsome girl-next-door appeal. We've grown to love Autumnwatch, the riveting wildlife-in-our-backyards series, as much for the unlikely onscreen coupling of its co-presenters, Bill and Kate, as for the antics of the animals that are its ostensible stars. Kate has garnered a fan club of middle-aged men; Bill has the cuddlesome appeal of an elderly teddy bear. We regard them as inextricably linked.

'We've grown very fond of each other over the years. In many ways we're like an old married couple. Of course most people tune in for the wildlife, but there are viewers who'll be thinking, "Is Kate going to kill Bill or kiss him this week?" There are times when I could hug him - and I do. I'm this ridiculously tall giantess and he's small and round, but he always reciprocates when I give him a cuddle. If I produce some chocolate biscuits as well, I have him eating out of my hand!

'But there are times when I could wring his neck. He's always talking over me and butting in! I'll have worked out some elegantly-phrased thought to end a section with, then I'll sense that Bill wants to chime in. Sometimes I'm generous and I let him. Sometimes I don't. The trouble is, we both love talking, because we're so enthusiastic about the subject.'

So, what with Bill's endless loquacity - and the capriciousness of the cast of animals who may, or may not, show up for their live performance on TV - the producers of Autumnwatch must live on their nerve-ends. 'I'm sure they're terrified,' admits Kate. 'Live telly is scary and unpredictable as it is, but when you put Bill into the mix, it's positively nerve-wracking. Anyone who has been to our rehearsals knows how naughty he is. His language is very ripe, and he'll say the most awful things.

'Once I was rehearsing a piece about the blue-tit family that featured on Springwatch. I said, "You'll remember our poor little blue tit," and Bill roared, "Yes! We ate him for breakfast!" I've seen producers turn green with anxiety wondering what he's going to say next.'

And there will be plenty of scope for Bill's mischief in the new series, which features a silent killer that haunts suburban gardens. When darkness falls, he starts hunting out his next victim - and preparing to swoop. For Hannibal the Cannibal, survival means everything - and he'll stop at nothing to ensure it. Even if this means killing and eating his own siblings.

The nation watched aghast in an earlier programme when Hannibal the barn owl turned on the smaller chicks in his nest. The drama was filmed for Springwatch, but, as Bill explained, it was a desperate measure. Storms had left the owl parents unable to hunt in the rain. As hunger crept in, young Hannibal - the biggest and strongest chick - ate his rivals in the nest. It has ensured his survival because now, as BBC's live Autumwatch returns, Hannibal is back - and he's as nasty as ever before.

This silent killer joins a cast of thousands whose daily lives and struggles for survival make Autumnwatch the most dramatic television soap opera there is. And this year, the live drama will be more explosive than ever. There's the romance of the male fallow deer, who 'sing' and strut to see who can most impress the ladies; baby seals who cuddle against their mothers for comfort, unaware that their lives could be wiped out in one storm; and the comedy of the bad-tempered avocet birds, who have beaten extinction but swing from sweet-natured to grumpy like a pendulum.

Meanwhile, at the new Autumnwatch base at Brownsea Island in Dorset, a whole colony of red squirrels prepare to star in their own miniadventures. And the BBC team are setting up the ultimate squirrel challenge - an assault course modelled on commando training techniques. Will they have the intelligence, cunning, strength and determination to succeed?

Series editor Stephen Moss says, 'One of the most magical moments in Autumnwatch will be seeing these delightful red squirrels make their preparations for winter. They feed themselves up and then hide their spare nuts, burying them in the ground and returning to the exact spot some two or three months later. Is this a fierce intelligence or basic instinct? We don't know - which is partly why we decided to make our red squirrel assault course.'

Since the birth of Springwatch, which began in 2005, with a few cameras trained on two back gardens in Bristol, the BBC's live wildlife specials have grown into one of broadcasting's biggest success stories. Autumnwatch now draws viewing figures of four million - with devotees tuning in for an hour each night to watch the courtships, couplings, triumphs and tragedies of Britain's wildlife.
As live television, it makes for breathless viewing, with scenes that can leave even the presenters reeling. Stephen says, 'We have no idea what is going to happen next, any more than the viewer does. It can be tough. During last year's Autumnwatch the weather was so bad that presenter Simon King had to be dropped at the Farne Islands off Northumberland by helicopter. 'He was there to film and observe a colony of seal pups and their mothers. The pups were beseechingly sweet, and it was impossible not to smile at the sight of them suckling and gazing up to their mothers. Simon was enchanted, too. But one day, as he filmed, the storm worsened and huge crashing waves swept all 70 or so pups to their death. It's such a distressing thing to see happen in front of your eyes, but Simon explained that grey seals live a long time, and go on to have lots of pups.

'We can't avoid tragedy if it unfolds in front of us, and after we've chosen our "cast" of players, we can't guarantee happy endings. But at least this year, in Autumnwatch, we can revisit the seal colony and show a fresh group of cubs with their mothers. Already, with milder weather, their chances of survival look far greater.'

Aside from the tragedy, there are moments of terrific comedy,which have Kate, Bill, Simon and the crew fighting back tears of laughter. Fans fondly recall the occasion where Kate imitated a buzzard so convincingly that Bill believed it was the real thing - causing both presenters to collapse in giggles.
But the wild animals themselves generate much unscripted laughter. Stephen says, 'In one Springwatch, we had a mini-cam in a nesting box, watching five barn owl chicks. The weather was nice, which meant that hunting conditions were perfect for the mum and dad owl. They kept returning to the nest with dead voles, and choosing a youngster to feed. The chicks, meanwhile, would all sit in a row, begging.

'We can't avoid tragedy if it unfolds right in front of us'

'One night, mum returned with a vole and the smallest chick was determined not to be left out. He jumped up and down and made such a noise that his mother just dropped the entire vole into his mouth. We all watched, stunned, thinking, "He can't swallow that - it's the same size as him." But this little fellow tipped his head back, took a few big gulps and the vole was gone. It was a moment of great comedy.'

This Autumnwatch also sees the presenters themselves pushed to the very limits. Cameraman and reporter Gordon Buchanan will be marooned on the Farne Islands to send daily reports on grey seals and their pups, living in a primitive outpost with no heating nor home comforts. Meanwhile, marine enthusiast Kate will join Simon for a live - and perilous - dive off the cost of Dorset in search of giant conger eels. These are more than three metres long and weigh more than 50 kilos, and there is no guarantee that these fierce predators may not attack. But Kate and Simon hope to film exclusive and extraordinary footage that will include details of the eels' sex lives.

Stephen says, 'Our technical engineer has said that this Autumnwatch will be trickier than filming the Olympics. He explained that each Olympic event is timed, so that you know exactly what sport to cover, and when. With Autumnwatch, we've a cast of hundreds of animals - and no guarantee they'll even turn up.'
But it's a recipe for excitement that has millions of viewers enthralled and, hopefully, as the nation tunes in to watch the antics of some of our best-loved wildlife, it will be all right - and pretty wild - on the night.
Autumnwatch begins Monday, BBC2, 8pm.

The animals to watch:

Avocets:
One of the greatest conservation success stories of our time, these birds were extinct in Britain until 1947. They returned to breed, coming probably from mainland Europe, and there are now around 1,000 birds. They have extraordinary split personalities. When avocets breed, they are belligerent and badtempered, chasing away any other bird which dares to land nearby. But, in autumn, their character changes completely and they become hospitable, mellow and friendly, cuddling together for warmth and safety at night.

Ravens:
Up to 400 of these highly intelligent birds have been returning to the same raven roost in Anglesey, north Wales - and none of the experts can understand why. They aren't hunted by predators, they are not in danger, and usually these birds are solitary. So will their complex social behaviour together give any clue as to why they keep coming back?

Hannibal the barn owl:
Barn owls hatch in order, so that the eldest chick will be a week or two older than his smaller siblings. When conditions change, and the parents are unable to hunt for food because of bad weather, the eldest chick will turn on his weaker siblings in a desperate battle for survival. Hannibal was named by Bill Oddie in Springwatch after he ate at least one, if not all, of his brothers. Now mature and a beautiful male bird, we will see Hannibal out of the nest and facing the world.

Fallow deer:
Unlike red deer, where brute strength wins the female, the fallow deer rut is an extraordinary ritualised performance. Male deer pounce, parade and 'sing' to the assembled females, who appear to favour those with the deepest cries. But what really does make a female fallow deer tick - and what are their secret rules of romance?


Otters:
Remarkable creatures who fare as well in the water as they do on land. Simon King will be travelling to Birmingham where - surprisingly - a whole colony of otters are thriving in the city's canals.