Today is the first birthday of my baby boy Ben. I was present for his entire labour and birth. The doctor complimented me on my courage at sticking out the entire labour, blood and all. He said most fathers would have gone running out during the birth. Not me I wanted to ensure that my boy came safely into this world, and a bit of blood and guts wasnt going to put me off. I had a job to do and I was doing it no matter what. Speaking of blood my ex wife later required 3 units of blood and I was monitoring that as well. I was the first to bath my little boy and that is something that I cherish. It is particularly cherished given I have not seen or been updated on my boys condition since I last saw him Xmas Eve 2004. i have missed out on an awful lot of his development and growth and it hurts, but at least I am still alive so that means I can still get to see him one day and that is something I am looking forward to.
That's a lovely memory that you have of giving ben his very first bath-that is something very special.You should never give up hope that you will get to spend some time with him again.I hope your situation will soon be sorted.And always keep those black dogs at bay!
I cannot comprehend what this must all mean to you, D-Day. I'm so sorry that things went this way for you. Keep hoping. It's small comfort, but I knew someone who was born to a single mum. She took him away from the state where his dad was soon after. He didn't "meet" his dad again until he was 11 and someone arranged it. Last I knew they had developed a good relationship and keep in touch, even though across the border. His dad came over for his 21st some years back, and for his uni graduation...so, even if your ex wants to keep Ben away, Ben may want to come to you, if nothing happens to reunite you in the meantime.
Thanks guys at times it is like a slow twisting bayonet in my heart, but I cannot surrender to despair for that is what they want, and to do so would mean they [ex and family] have won. Not going to happen
I can't imagine how painful that must be, D-Day. In my circumstance, family is EVERYTHING and you better not forget it. To have to function without part of it is incredibly painful, as I'm sure most people would know, but to be absent such a personal part... ouch.
D-Day
4 Comments
