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C&G 137 Apr 2007
April 2007 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 10/04/2007

Index

» April 2007

       *************************************************
       *   THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE   *
       *************************************************
 
 
    * THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
             (http://www.goodiesruleok.com )
 
 
Issue No. 137                   10th April 2007
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
*********************************
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
MUSIC REVIEWER:
- Linda Kay
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- Kimba W.Lion, Alison Bean, David Piper-Balston, Jane Donnelly, Wackywales, Marc Barrow, Graeme Garden, Helen Randle
 
CONTENTS
**********
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #28 – "Sick Man Blues"
6. GOODIESRULEOK? SEARCH ME! – more strange search strings
7. GOODIES CROSSWORD PUZZLE SOLUTION
8. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
****************
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Oh it's all right. They'll like you, they'll really love you. New Graeme Fingers, in the family fried pack! Here they come, in the batter! Oh, delicious, hey? Yum yum yum, you cannibal, you!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) What is the next thing that Graeme does with his batter-covered fingers?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Kung Fu Kapers"
 
(d) According to Graeme, what doesn't the king of kung fu do a lot?
(e) Where does Bill venture to in order to learn the martial art of Ecky Thump?
(f) Which relative of Graeme's supposedly has a black sporran in the Scottish martial art of "Hoots Toots Och Aye The Noo"?
(g) Who is the "Nationwide" presenter looking forward to eckythumping at the end of his TV segment?
(h) What does Graeme tip into the black pudding mix to sabotage it?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
***************
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
"THE GOODIES STILL RULE OK" SPECIAL EDITION C&G
 
There will be a special edition of the Clarion & Globe with all of the news that's fit to print (and quite a bit that isn't!) from "The Goodies Still Rule OK" tour of the U.K., which is currently underway The UK Tour C&G will be published around April 25th (shortly after the conclusion of Tim and Graeme's tour) and will include all of the "spotteds" such as media reports, interviews, critic reviews etc. What we would really like to include though is reviews and comments from any of our UK-based club members who are lucky enough to be able to attend one the shows in person. Please send your "spotteds" or thoughts on "The Goodies Still Rule OK" to <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> or to the Goodies-l mailing list
 
 
WEBSITE POLLS
As promised, last month's Goodies poll was a tightly-contested affair – at least between the second, third and fourth most popular options anyway. However as the final vote tallies indicate below, there was only one winning way for the Goodies to promote their tour of Britain
 
How should the Goodies create publicity for their March 15th -April 18th live tour?
 
- advertise on Radio Goodies                           38 votes   12.1%
- host a trandem joust in London                      39 votes   12.4%
- via a televised mobile office race                      7 votes    2.2%
- by capturing the loch ness monster                 20 votes    6.3%
- with an "adopt a giant cod" day                      22 votes    7.0%
- sponsor Eurovision Raving Loony Contest      31 votes    9.8%
- offer free giant Dougal rides                           45 votes   14.3%
- with a worldwide spacehopper bounce          18 votes    5.7%
- by encasing Rolf Harris in concrete                89 votes   28.3%
- other                                                               6 votes    1.9%
Total                                                             315 votes
 
So was this a vote by the "pro-Rolf party" or a vote by Goodies fans who really would like to see him encased in concrete? We'll leave Magnus Magnesium to figure that one out as we press on with this month's poll question. Head to the homepage to cast your vote ... you know it makes sense!
 
What merchandise should The Goodies be selling on their current UK tour (which runs through April 18th)?
 
- the new "The Complete LWT Series" DVD
- Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club t-shirts
- an Eskimo phrase book (ah here's one!)
- "T' Secret Of Ecky Thump" training video
- tomato sauce squirters for bunfighting
- lemon sherbet (with free video monitor)
- Snooze antidote (for Max Bygraves shows)
- Nicholas Parsons masks
- Little Rolf cuddly toys
- other
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
*************
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
 
 
THE GOODIES ARE HERE FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU ... IN BRITAIN!
 
After a well-deserved break for a few days, Tim and Graeme will soon be back in action again for their remaining performances of "The Goodies Still Rule OK" at the following venues:
 
Croydon:
* Thurs, 12 April 2007 7:45pm - Fairfield (Tickets: £19.50, £18.50)
      Venue website: http://www.fairfield.co.uk/  
      Box Office Phone Number: 020 8688 9291
      Show Listing: Go to http://www.fairfield.co.uk/  and use the "Search for a show" box located on the left side of the page.
 
Derby:
* Fri, 13 April 2007 7:30pm - Assembly Rooms (Tickets £19.50)
      Venue website: http://www.assemblyrooms-derby.co.uk/  
      Box Office Phone Number: 01332 255 800
 
Dartford:
* Sat, 14 April 2007 7:30pm- Orchard Theatre (Tickets £20.50)
      Box Office Phone Number: 01322 220000
      Show listing: Go to http://www.dartford.gov.uk/thingstodo/ORCHARD/orchard_main.htm  then click on "The Goodies-Still Rule Ok!" link in the menu on the right side of the page.
 
Eastbourne:
* Sun, 15 April 2007 7:30pm- Congress Theatre (Tickets £19.50, £17.50 (terraces))
      Venue website: http://www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk/  
      Box Office Phone Number: 01323 412000
 
Oxford:
* Mon, 16 April 2007 7:30pm - Playhouse Theatre (Tickets £20.50 £17.50 £13.50 £7.50)
      Venue website: http://www.oxfordplayhouse.com/  
      Box Office Phone Number: 01865 305305
 
Northampton:
* Weds, 18 April 2007 - Derngate Theatre
      Venue website: http://www.royalandderngate.co.uk/en/Home  
      Box Office Phone Number: 01604 624811
      Show listing:
 
The latest updates to this information about the April tour dates can be found in our FAQ at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=10  .
 
** A reminder that all of the interviews and media articles concerning "The Goodies Still Rule OK" will be published in the special edition of the C&G at the conclusion of the tour in late April. **
 
 
TIM'S PLACE IN THE SUN
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 26th Mar)
 
An interview with Tim appears in today's edition of The Sun. The online version (with a photo of Tim at a golf game) is at http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2001320029-2007090478,00.html
 
'Comedy today not risky'
 By ALAN TYERS
March 26, 2007
 
TIM BROOKE-TAYLOR has slammed TV bosses, saying they are not prepared to take a risk on fresh comedy ideas ­ nor give them a chance once they are on.
 
The Goodies favourite told us, "TV people used to be much more willing to take a chance on new things. The Goodies would never have been made now."
 
The show's silly slapstick sitcom format, in which Tim, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie play an agency of three bicycling blokes-for-hire who'll do "anything, anytime" was a big hit in the Seventies and early Eighties, but Tim says it took a while for the gang to really hit their stride.
 
"It took us a couple of series to really get our confidence up and go the whole hog. I feel sorry for TV comedians now: if something isn't an instant hit, they whip it off the air after two minutes."
 
He added: "I am annoyed when they don't allow original comedy to have a chance. They have to judge it instantly. It either has to be very, very mainstream or very, very extreme."
 
And he cites Trevor's World Of Sport ­ a smart sitcom by Andy Hamilton about the murky world of sports agents ­ as an example.
 
"Trevor's World Of Sport was whipped off almost before it started. And I thought, 'is it because it is too clever for you?' Or what is it?
 
"It was on primetime BBC1 and then after two episodes it was moved to late at night . Perhaps if it had been on Channel 4 it might have lasted."
 
And new comedy is not Tim's only bugbear with the powers that be: he's also unhappy about the BBC's handling of one particular classic comedy series.
 
"We are very unhappy and feel very hard done by that The Goodies has not been repeated by the BBC," he says.
 
"We do not understand it. The BBC did a Return Of The Goodies show two Christmases ago and it got incredibly good ratings. So we thought, 'this is it, they are going to repeat stuff' and for some strange reason they haven't.
 
"Nobody can quite explain why. A few years ago, Paul Jackson was head of comedy there and he priced it and got it ready and took it to the controller of BBC2 and she said 'no'."
 
But the absence of repeats may work in The Goodies' favour. The trio are getting a DVD release of their 1981 and 1982 series. It is available to buy from today.
 
"The good thing about the show not having been repeated much is that it makes it much more worthwhile doing this DVD. We're bringing it to the natives who really appreciate proper comedy," he laughs.
 
"Some of the material hasn't aged well but most of it, we find funnier than we did at the time.
 
"Everything we attacked is still attackable now. We were anti-establishment then and we're anti-establishment now!"
 
Goodies fans should also keep an eye out for their current UK tour.
 
Our Melissa can't believe The Goodies' harsh treatment! Aussie Sun writer Melissa Kent was dismayed to discover that The Goodies are practically a forgotten footnote in the annals of British TV comedy.
 
She said: "While programmers in the UK continue to overlooked the madcap trio, Aussie viewers' appreciation of the wacky Goodies humour means they have rarely been off-air since the 1970s.
 
"The show is still much-loved by Australian audiences as a reminder of a time when comedy could be politically-incorrect, irreverent and just plain ridiculous.
 
"They reunited for a smash Australian tour in 2005 - The Goodies (Still A)Live On Stage, which sold 25,000 tickets in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane.
 
"Strange they should be so big Down Under when The Goodies' surreal humour is so very British."
 
So what do you reckon: could they enjoy the same popularity here, if given TV programmers gave them the chance?
 
Or have they been rightly relegated to the graveyard of outdated 70s comedy?
# The Goodies: The Complete LWT Series (PG) is on sale now, RRP £24.99.
# The tour runs until 18 April.
 
 
GOODIES INTERVIEW IN "FEMALEFIRST"
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 26th Mar)
 
There's an interview with all 3 Goodies at http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/entertainment/The+Goodies++++I+m+Proud+of+My+Scissor+Sisters+Son+-32187.html  to promote the new DVD set, "The Goodies – The Complete LWT Series" (which was released today).
 
I'm going to attempt a cut & paste of the article text below:
 
The Goodies - 'I'm Proud of My Scissor Sisters Son'
 
26th March 2007 09:34:41
 
Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor are united again!
 
Network is delighted to announce the first ever DVD release of the acclaimed comedy trio's complete output for ITV between 1981 and 1982 following their deflection to ITV.
 
One of the most loved comedy shows of the seventies and early eighties, The Goodies made household names of its cast, Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, in a show highly rated for its visual humour and surreal take on life.
 
FemaleFirst were able to have a chat with the terrific trio of comics about their weird and wonderful world. Find out what they had to say below...
 
How are you all doing today?
 
Tim - Yeah we're all doing well, thanks.
 
Bill - I'm not doing as well as Tim and Graeme (Laughs) I'm ok, I'm fine.
 
Tim - Say something nice to Bill (Laughs)
Click here to find out more!
 
I believe you're doing a Goodies Still Rule OK Tour?
 
Tim - Yeah starting in the middle of March. There will be 23 performances around the country.
 
Graeme - Bill will be there in several forms including video, digitally enhanced..
 
Bill - I've got to tell you knowing the condition that I'm in these days, you're better off without me. They're better off without me and the audience is better off without me. I promise you that whatever counterfeit form of appearance I make on that show it will be an improvement on the real thing. It's true I tell you.
 
Tim - He's not really here at all either (Laughs)
 
Bill - I've lost the power of speech. I can whistle, I can moo I can call like a stag. But no longer can I speak. I'm good at watching wildlife because I can't move anymore.
 
Graeme - When we did this show in Australia a couple of years ago Bill was with us so basically we've now got various forms of what Bill did live. But when in doubt..
 
Bill - I shall be there in spirit, especially when they're doing badly.
(Laughs)
 
Are you tied up because of your nature programmes then Bill?
 
Bill - Yeah - I've got a lot of projects, which are quite taking up literally every week of this year and most of next year the way things are going.
 
Do you have a particular favourite episode from the Goodies - perhaps one from the DVD?
 
Graeme - The ones on the new DVD are particularly terrific.
 
Tim - The DVD is a very specific series that we did on LWT. It's one of the last shows that we did. In many ways a lot of the shows actually look back and have highlights of all the stuff we did, so it's actually quite good fun for us to see it.
 
Bill - It's the best performed, I mean I guess this is an odd thing to say at this long distance but I think at that stage, it's our last performance in a sense if you see what I mean as the Goodies. As performers we'd actually arrived at an acting stage, for want of a better word. We were better than we had been in most of the BBC seasons.
 
Would you consider doing a one-off TV special in the near future then?
 
Graeme - We would quite like to have them repeated first and then we'd think about it. But if you haven't had them repeated there's a whole part of the population that don't really know the Goodies. It would be lovely to have them repeated and then the demand for us to appear would be fantastic.
 
Who would you say influenced you all in your early years?
 
Tim - A lot of the influences we had were comedians like Buster Keaton and cartoons like Tom and Jerry. Warner Brothers like Bugs Bunny. Also a lot of radio humour - there's quite a lot of verbal humour in it, character stuff that we enjoyed. There was a mixture of a lot of different styles but I suppose the thing that sticks out is the visual stuff. But quite a lot of the verbal stuff is the bits that are our favourites.
 
Bill - I guess what we did was on quite a big scale like that and I know for a fact that Nick Park and the people at Aardman are considerable Goodies fans. I think that the Wallace and Gromit full-length movies and the chicken movies and things - I think it's pretty obvious actually if you look at them and compare them to the Goodies chase sequence, you can see the influence there. But he's been very sensible and didn't use real people (Laughs) Nobody was hurt in the making..just a few bruised fingers melding the plaster scene I dare say but that's it.
 
Tim - You mean they're not real?
 
Bill (Laughs) Oh dear, I'm sorry. I'm afraid Tim has got very upset because he always thought they were real.
 
Graeme - That's the thing with Peter Lord apparently; he was saying that some of the characters like Morph and Gromit do have stunt doubles. So if something gets mangled then it's a stunt double because they don't want to mess up a good one.
 
Tim - That's what we should have done indeed.
 
Did anything dangerous really happen to you whilst filming the shows then?
 
Tim - There was one time when we were all sitting on the bike, strung up in the air about ten feet off the ground by wires and the wires broke as we were sitting astride the bike. We all crashed down to the floor.
 
Graeme - Tim really hurt himself and the BBC were very upset about the bike being hurt. (Laughs)
 
Bill - It was very nasty because it really was strong metal wires and it almost nearly cut Tim's hand off.
 
Tim - Yeah I could have done, it was very nasty. But there were lots of times when you were fearful because it was in the days when they didn't worry about health and such. There was a time that I remember with a great tomato soup can and I remember thinking it could break arms, it could break legs. I kept saying Just Go and Do It - stupidly we did.
 
Bill - That really has brought back a memory actually, not so much specifically but of that whole thing where once people start discussing it you start to get nervous. So for heaven sake - just like a parachute jumper. Because if you have an hour to talk about it by the end of that hour you aren't going to do it but if they just shoved you out you probably would.
 
Tim - Also the problem is if you're not there yourself and talking about it.
 
Bill - Yes, absolutely. He could break his leg - well he's not a footballer is he (Laughs)
 
Austin Power's Mike Myers has also said in the past that he is a great admirer of your work. What are your feelings about that?
 
Bill - That doesn't surprise me either really because the characters are on that sort of broad level, yeah, as the Austin Powers.
 
Tim - Of course he was living here then. But I do like his stuff definitely. It's good imaginative stuff.
 
Tim, I believe you got to work with one of the Hollywood Greats, the legendary actor Orson Welles. Can you splurge all the unknown juicy details about that experience - were you a fan of his at the time?
 
Tim - I did indeed. Funnily enough Graeme and I did a series called Broaden Your Mind and we were watching the first programme in the second series in Graeme's flat and suddenly the phone went at the end and Graeme said "yes, yes yes" and put the phone down and said Orson Welles wants to work with us. I laughed and said, "Yeah, the Pope's going to ring in a second. We then actually appeared in a film called Twelve Plus One, which had great people in it including Orson and the director. They didn't really get on, so cos I'd just done something with him, we went and rewrote his part completely and I found myself in two weeks directing the great man. Just - he was a great man but God he was very difficult to work with. A brilliant guy but the sad thing about the film was Sharon Tate was the lead star and she was murdered before the whole thing was even edited. She was a lovely woman.
 
You also did the Funky Gibbon on Top of the Pops. How do you feel about getting to do that in hindsight - especially now that beloved show is no longer with us anymore?
 
Tim - It was wonderful to do. The problem is that every now and again they dig up one of our performances - and it's the worst one we've ever done and we do look appalling. The Top of the Pop's stuff that we did I'm very proud of. Bill wrote most of the songs and some of them were very good.
 
Bill - Thank You!
 
Tim- So it was great for us, not being pop singers, although Bill was to a certain extent to actually be on Top of the Pops and I think most people want to do things like that.
 
Bill - Yeah - the great thing was that we weren't taking it too seriously. It really was a sideline thing and in fact it stemmed from a friend of mine who I used to play charity football with who was a record producer saying, "Oh, you ought to make a record" and we did that almost as a joke. We were like "Ok, let's see what happens" but he was right. It's happened before, one or two comedy groups had a hit or two, but frankly we probably had more than anybody else ever did in that area. Benny Hill had one or two.
 
Graeme - All at once we were top of the best selling books and we were top of the charts and television. It was just a very lucky time. I think that's one of the best things - that we were actually in a position to think, " This is very unreal, let's enjoy it." I know I did. It was a bit like having a runner in the Grand National, each week you kept thinking, I wonder if it's going to go up to number one, oh it's up to four this week, and seeing what happens without putting all your money on it.
 
How alike would you say you are to the characters you played?
 
Tim - I never liked my character. He was a horrible right wing Royalist twat (Laughs) but the one thing we both had in common was that were both cowards. I think it's a terrible thing to be a coward because you don't want to get killed. But Bill is very like his character and Graeme is strangely like his, but Tim is much nicer than his (Laughs)
 
(Graeme), your son is a band member with the Scissor Sisters. You must be so proud of him, with all the acclaim they've been getting with their work?
 
Graeme - Yeah it's terrific and I loved watching them at the Brits the other day. He's over in the States at the moment. I'm not too sure where he is at the moment - Chicago I think. But he's having a great time at the moment and of course that's wonderful.
 
You all did voices in the top cartoon Banana-man in the 80s. But if you could have a super hero's power what would it be and why?
 
Bill - Oh bloody hell.
Tim - I'll go for the classic .. x-ray eyes through clothing. No,
Bill - Undoubtedly, I'm going to get serious, I'm bound to, I would want to remove world leaders that I disapprove of and that are going to lead us to a bad place.
Graeme - I would like to improve the quality of world leadership.
Bill - Yeah (Everybody laughs)
Tim - I would like to have the power to bring the Goodies back as repeats on the BBC.
Bill - C'mon. Tim always goes too far.
Graeme - Stick with invisible (Laughs) it's worked for twenty years.
Bill - That was so bitchy. He's one of the finest bitches. He's known as that - he's in the top ten witty bitches. I'm going to write that down. (Laughs)
 
Bill, you got to do the Who Do You Think You Are show. Do you regret it now because you said it was a very personal and emotional thing? Shows like this can often open up a can of worms.
 
Bill - No. But enjoys probably not the right word to describe it. It was a great programme to do and they did it extremely responsibly and certainly with dignity and integrity as it were. Rather more fun is a programme coming up which I'm in called "Play It Again" a BBC2 programme which I think will be on round about the time that Graeme and Tim go on tour. So they'll miss it. (Laughs) That involves me learning how to play an electric guitar – a rather traumatic, dramatic time over last year I have to say. But with a happy ending I'm also happy to add.
 
THE GOODIES THE COMPLETE LWT SERIES (12) will be available to buy in a two-disc set on 26th March 2007.
 
 
BLOW ME DOWN ... ANOTHER GOODIES SONG COVERED!
(by Brett Allender)
 
Despite Bill Oddie being a prolific writer of humourous songs for "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and "The Goodies" during the 60s and 70s, it's a very rare event for someone else to do a cover version of his distinctive comedy/pop music.
 
Many Goodies fans will be familiar with the cover version of "Run" which was released by Australian band Spiderbait in 1992 and apparently another Australian group by the name of Feverdream did a cover of "The Goodies Theme" in 1995. The details of both songs can be found in the Pirate Post Office section of C&G #46 from October 1999 – http://www.goodiesruleok.com/newsletter.php?issue=46
 
Well, I'm delighted to report that I've stumbled across a third cover of a Goodies song, and from a most unlikely source to boot.
 
Not only are the 70s and 80s by far my favourite era of pop music, but I also greatly enjoy the country music (both Australian and U.S.) from that period as well. One of my favourite Australian country groups from the mid-80s was Bullamakanka, who had a very up-tempo sound (lots of frenetic fiddling and banjo playing) and did a great mix of traditional bush ballads and humourous topical songs. They are probably best known for the song "Home Among The Gumtrees"; of which a modified version was used for the theme of TV lifestyle program "Burke's Backyard" for many years, but fans of Doctor Who may be familiar with their brilliant tribute song "The Ballad Of Doctor Who" which received quite a bit of airplay on regional radio at the time of its release.
 
Despite Bullamakanka being a prominent country group for a long period of time, it was impossible to find any of their music on CDs during the 90s and I've always thought that my two battered and scratched old LPs were all of their music that I'd ever own. However I was rummaging through the bargain bin at my local Sanity music store last week and lo and behold, I came across a 2001 CD titled "The Best Of Bullamakanka – Then And Now", with the interesting tag line of "... plus six new tracks including "Blowing Off (It's A Gas)". Surely not, I thought ... they couldn't have, they wouldn't have, they shouldn't have! ... but they had, as a quick peek inside at the credits revealed a certain B.Oddie as the songwriter. That CD was going home with me for sure!
 
Those of you unfamiliar with "Blowing Off" can check out the Goodies Music Review and song lyrics for it at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=24, but let's just say that it was released on The Goodies' naughty "Nothing To Do With Us" LP and has a very di-stink-tive sound, to say the least. Happily Bullamakanka has a real blast covering it, with their typically jaunty music and cheeky ocker country-style singing making for a breezy rendition of Bill's (and singer Graeme's) odourous odyssey. They didn't even hit a bum note or fluff any lines, though come to think of it, that may have been an advantage with this particular track!
 
There are a few slight differences in the lyrics, such as "New Orleans" becoming "the city scene" and "lordy lordy" changing to the appropriate "blow me down", but the main change is that there is far less blowing off in the cover version than in the Goodies' original. The lengthy final farting fanfare has been replaced with an additional chorus and the bugle-bum instrumental break has gone with the wind altogether; quite possibly due to their difficulty in finding a record company that would allow them to release it (the song and the farting noises!)
 
However there are still enough trouser-tearing sound effects in there to allow the Bullamakanka boys to blow their own trumpet, and although their version arguably can't hold a candle to the Goodies original one (for fear of an explosion!), it's a more than parp-sable effort given that doing a cover version of this song has the potential to backfire in a big way!
 
"The Best Of Bullamakanka – Then And Now" (Master Song – 2001) is available from the Country Music Store, Brisbane, for $9.95: http://store.countrymusic.com.au/store/products/category39.inetstore  (scroll halfway down the page to find it). Or you might even find it in the bargain bin at your local Sanity or other music store like I did! Well worth it for "Blowing Off" and "The Ballad Of Doctor Who" alone.
 
 
I'M A LOONY SCIENTIST AND I'VE DONE IT ALL!
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 18th Mar)
 
The April 2007 issue of SFX (issue #155) includes an article about the Goodies (written by Andrew Pixley). 
 
As you can see from SFX's website, at http://www.sfx.co.uk/page/sfx?entry=latest_issue , the cover includes a photo of Graeme (and EBGB) from the "U-Friend or U.F.O.?" episode and this blurb: "TIME MACHINE: Goodie Goodie Yum Yum! The show itself may not have been explicitly sci-fi but The Goodies was packed with brilliant sci-fi ideas, and we've spoken to Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor about their love of the genre."
 
The issue is now on sale. If you can't find it locally it can be purchased online from the SFX site.
 
 
GOODIES OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 18th Mar & 4th Apr)
 
* Fridays - "The Goodies" is being repeated on UK satellite channel Paramount Comedy as double-bills starting at 9:00pm (repeated a few hours later at 1:00am). They are showing the LWT series (series 9).
 
Paramount Comedy 2 has scheduled Goodies repeats for the evenings of Saturday & Sunday April 7th & 8th in addition to the Friday night screenings this week.
 
 
IF ONLY I HAD A NEW GOODIES DVD, AH HERE'S ONE!
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
"The Goodies - The Complete LWT Series" 2 DVD set was released in the UK on 26 march 2007. The good news for our Australian members is that the set is encoded both Region 2 and Region 4 PAL.
 
The set contains the full LWT series (The Goodies series 9), including the Christmas special. The episodes are Snow White 2, Robot, Football Crazy, Bigfoot, Change of Life, Holidays, and Animals.
 
Bonus features include:
 
     * commentaries on two episodes (Change of Life and Holidays)
 
     * various 1975 Goodies musical performances from Shangalang (Funky Gibbon and Black Pudding Bertha) and Look Alive (Nappy Love, Wild Thing, and Make a Daft Noise for Christmas)
 
     * archive interviews from Sunday Sunday (1983) and This Morning (1993 and 1994), plus a 1978 interview with Tim & Graeme at the Cambridge Arts Theatre
 
     * a complete episode of Doctor in the House. The episode is Doctor on the Box, written by Graeme Garden & Bill Oddie and including a cameo appearance from Graeme
 
     * a complete episode of From the Top (entitled Growing Up...and Out), written by Bill Oddie & Laura Beaumont and starring Bill
 
     * a 1981 clip of Tim judging a turkey competition
 
     * original script PDFs
 
     * a stills gallery
 
     * a booklet written by Andrew Pixley
 
 
DVD REVIEW
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 26th Mar)
 
A good review of the new DVD appears at http://www.filmrot.com/articles/reviews/007788.php
 
Here's the cut & paste:
 
DVD Review: THE GOODIES COMPLETE LWT SERIES (R2)
 
I am a big fan of Monty Python, the humour is right up my street. But I can honestly say that I had never watched an episode of The Goodies. The main reason I think is because of the stars. When I was growing up Bill Oddie was a TV presenter who mainly did nature programs, Tim Brooke-Taylor was a TV actor who appeared in sitcoms and Graeme Garden.....well, I don't think I even knew who he was!
 
So to be honest with you I really didn't know what to expect when I loaded the Goodies Complete Season 3 into my DVD player. I certainly wasn't expecting what I got!
 
So what did I get? Well, seven episodes of some of the most surreal TV I have ever seen, thats what! I'm not joking! The first episode saw the Goodies watching "Snow White 2" (complete with blood dripping down the screen during the title sequence) in the local cinema. Then they are transported to a fantasy land where the only employment to be had by men is as dwarfs or Prince's, otherwise you are on the scrapheap (quite literally). Eventually the men have had enough and are led in revolt by the Goodies, which see's the Goodies making an assault on the fairyland castle in a panto cow costume (which inside looks like a WWII bomber), and ends with the nuttiest lightsaber fight you are ever likely to see!
 
And thats just the first episode! The rest of the episodes see's the Goodies doing everything from creating a baby robot, trying to track down bigfoot and Arthur C Clarke to taking the mickey out of themselves and the show. The episode where they do that is brilliant as they show how they do all the special effects etc but it works so well! It totally knocks down the "fourth wall" and gets us inside their world (which to be honest I'm not sure I want to do again!).
 
This is without doubt one of the more surreal TV shows I have ever seen. The production values are low (but then, they realise they are low and use it for the comedy), some of the jokes are corny, and a lot are of a style that you couldn't show on a TV show in the politically correct era we now live in and it is very bloody funny indeed! I made the mistake of drinking a coffee while watching the first episode and nearly caused myself an injury I was laughing so hard!
 
Extras
 
There are 3 commentary tracks with Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor on three of the episodes which are really worth a listen. They don't go into much detail about the filming but it's worth it to hear their reminiscing on working on the show, how things have changed and trying to get away with it now.
 
There is also a huge collection of archive interviews with each of the Goodies, a selection of their pop songs videos (Do, Do, Do the funky Gibbon...) and stills galleries. Basically everything a fan of the Goodies could want!
 
This is possibly one of the funniest shows I have seen in a long time. If you enjoy things like Monty Python then I suggest that you give The Goodies a go as, even though they might not be as brilliant as Python, they are still very very funny. With the amount of extras on offer on the disc, as well as all seven episodes from the LWT years, this is an essential purchase for existing fans and if you are not a fan, but fancy something a little different then give this a go.
 
 
SORRY CLIVE, WE'RE BUSY!
(by Alison Bean)
 
In Clive James' recently released fourth volume of 'Unreliable Memoirs', 'North Face of Soho', the author describes his life from the mid-60s to early-80s. During this period James was working his way up in the London media world and in 1970 he was offered the chance to make a weekly comedy programme for London Weekend Television. It was called 'What Are You Doing After The Show?' and as James describes it was a disaster due to a chronic lack of ideas. In search of a fix, James contacted a number of friends and associates, including Graeme Garden:
 
"I arranged a meeting with my fellow ex-President of the Footlights Graeme Garden at the Salisbury pub in St Martin's Lane, where I did an upright version of going on my hands and knees. The vertical grovel tended towards the horizontal as I finally grasped that he had no reason to take the bait. He, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor had something else in mind. They had already slogged for several years each in sketch shows and were cooking up a format that would sustain itself without the exhausting search for a punchline. Eventually 'The Goodies' would out-rate even 'Monty Python'. The standard gag about 'The Goodies' was that half the ratings consisted of Orson Welles who for some reason found the three bumbling chums equisitely amusing. But the standard gag was simply envy talking. Liberating its three stars from the deadly treadmill of sketch humour, 'The Goodies' was a solid hit. It was still just an idea at the time when I was begging from my life from Garden, but it was a real idea, and he had needed only to hear my sales pitch to realize that our idea wasn't."
(pg 71-72, 'North Face of Soho' by Clive James, Picador, 2006)
 
 
NOTES
'What Are You Doing After The Show' ran from 10/01/71-21/02/71 on ITV.
'The Goodies' series 1 ran from 08/11/70-20/12/70.
(Source: Radio Times Guide To TV Comedy by Mark Lewisohn, BBC Worldwide, 1998.)
 
 
GRAHAM CHAPMAN EULOGY
(from information contributed by Linda Kay)
 
I was tooling around amongst AOL's viral vids and found this snippet from the Eulogy for Graham Chapman. I had never seen this film, maybe it's been around a while and I've been clueless. Anyway Tim and Bill are seen and I think I spotted Graeme, too, not sure, but in case it's something new here's the link:
 
 
Do note it does contain mature language (quite historic and notable mature language at that! I read somewhere that John Cleese got up to speak first and that Tim also planned on saying the "F" word at the service but John beat him to it!) : )
 
 
GOODIES BOOK GOING CHEAP ... ER, GOING WOOF!
(Marc Barrow – 9th Apr)
 
"The Goodies Rule OK" book is now only AUD$9.95 !!!!!
Remember.... originally AUD$45 so this is a real bargain!
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
*****************
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
(All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited)
 
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* starting the week of Mon, 19 March - "Birding with Bill Oddie" is being repeated at various days and times by UKTV Gardens.
(18th Mar)
 
 
* the week of Mon, 19 March - "The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs" will be repeated on various days at various times by UKTV History.
(18th Mar)
 
 
* Nightly - "Bill Oddie's Animal House" on The Baby Channel (Sky channel 285, http://www.babychanneltv.com/schedule.htm ) nightly at 8:30pm (thanks for Fiona Mikiel for this info)
(18th Mar)
 
 
"Springwatch and Autumnwatch", a book to accompany the BBC 2 TV Series, is scheduled to be released in the UK on April 2nd. The presenters of the series, Bill Oddie, Kate Humble, and Simon King are listed as the authors.
A description of the book is available from www.amazon.co.uk :
(19th Mar)
 
 
* The Comic Relief song which features Bill amongst loads of other celebs has
made it to number 3 in the charts. The video was shown twice during Friday's Comic Relief programme on BBC1. 
The charity video can be downloaded at
This is one of the few reports actually to note Bill's involvement!
PETER Kay's latest song has entered the singles chart at number three.
The tune, (I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles, featuring comic Kay and Little Britain's Matt Lucas, is a cover of the 80s anthem by The Proclaimers.
But, although proceeds from the single goes to Comic Relief, it was beaten by Walk This Way, a release for The Sugababes and Girls Aloud.
Money from that song also goes to Comic Relief, however.
In second place is Gwen Stefani featuring Akon with The Sweet Escape.
Kay's song is a cover version and is sung by two of British comedy's most famous wheelchair-bound characters: Phoenix Night's Brian Potter and Little Britain's Andy Pipkin.
The video features a host of top names including Robert Powell, Paul O'Grady, Bonnie Langford, Peter Waterman, Bill Oddie, Status Quo, Frank Sidebottom and Bob the Builder.
Bolton television scientist Johnny Ball - father of Zoe Ball - and Tess Daly, wife of Bolton presenter Vernon Kay, also feature.
(David Piper-Balston – Goodies-l – 19th Mar)
 
 
* Copies can also be downloaded from http://www.rednoseday.com/whats-on/peter-kay/ , with the money going to Comic Relief 
(from information contributed by Helen Randle – Goodies-l – 19th Mar)
 
 
* Thanks to Wackywales for the following news!
The series "Play it Again", in which celebrities learn to play musical instruments, will start its run on BBC 1 Sunday, 25th March at 8pm. Bill will appear in an upcoming episode. The first two episodes (on 25 March and 1 April) feature Jo Brand and Frank Skinner. We'll watch the listings for Bill's appearance, in which he learns to play the electric guitar.
(21st Mar)
 
 
* "Star Portraits with Rolf Harris" will also feature Bill in an upcoming episode. As the show also airs on BBC 1 on Sunday nights Wackywales suggested we might be in for a Bill double-bill (um, no bird pun intended;). "Star Portraits" is a series in which 3 professional artists paint 3 completely different styles of portrait of a famous person. Some samples of previous work can be found at http://www.starportraits.co.uk/programme.htm
Also check out the preview of one of Bill's portraits from "Star Portraits with Rolf Harris" at http://www.ravichhilt.com/portraits.html#
(21st & 25th Mar)
We're still waiting for the broadcast date for "Star Portraits" with Bill (let us know if you find it!). In the meantime, you can know see Bill's three portraits on the show's official site at http://www.starportraits.co.uk/programme_three.html
(5th Apr)
 
 
* Weds, 28 March - "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" is repeated on BBC 2 at 19:00. Additional repeats are scheduled on BBC 2 Tues, 3 April at 18:00 & Fri, 6 April at 19:30 and Fri, 13 April at 1930
(25th Mar)
 
 
* Sat, 31 March - "The Comedians' Comedian" is repeated on E4 at 21:00-00:00. This count down of the top 50 comedians of all time includes contributions from Bill Oddie and Barry Cryer.
(25th Mar)
 
 
* Tues, 3 April - "Wogan: Now And Then" on UKTV Gold at 03:35 (repeated an hour later on UKTV Gold Plus 1). Another repeat of the interview with Bill.
(25th Mar)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* Sun, 18 March & Tues, 20 March - two of Graeme's appearances on "Holby City" (series 5 episodes 20 & 21) will be repeated by UKTV Gold and UKTV Gold Plus 1. The first will be on Sun, 19 March at 4:15 (UKTV Gold) and 5:15 (UKTV Gold Plus 1). The second is scheduled for Tues, 20 March at 2:10 (UKTV Gold) and 3:10 (UKTV Gold Plus 1).
(18th Mar)
 
 
* Thanks to Jane Donnelly for spotting the following listing (your wig spotters badge is in the mail... ;)
BBC RADIO 4 Saturday 31 March 2007
1707 - Take An Englishman And A Scotsman
Saturday 31 March 10.30-11.00am, BBC RADIO 4 (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 )
Graeme Garden presents a tongue-in-cheek look at what the English and Scots have in common and what they don't.
With a rich mix of comedy clips and contributions from such eminent figures as Ronnie Corbett and Stanley Baxter, Graeme discovers why there's a real difference in humour north and south of the border.
Graeme, who was born in Aberdeen and has spent most of his working life south of the border, takes an intriguing and entertaining journey through the comedy stereotypes of England and Scotland, from the "bowler-hatted toffs" of the south to the "kilted sporran-wearers" of the north.
Producer/Mark Rickards
(21st Mar)
 
 
* Fri, 6 April and Fri, 13 April - "The Long Hot Satsuma" on BBC 7 at 23:30. BBC 7 repeats two episodes of the 1989 comedy sketch show which starred Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, and Alison Steadman.
(25th Mar)
 
 
* The show "1707: Take an Englishman and a Scotsman", presented by Graeme Garden, is available from Radio 4's Listen Again service through next Saturday morning. 
It can be accessed from multiple places on Radio 4's website including http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/pip/5zf13/  - just click the "Listen again to this programme" link under "Factual" and above the show's title.
(1st Apr)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* The Bradford International Film Festival, which runs from 9-24 March, includes a section called "TV Heaven" (more details at http://www.nationalmediamuseum.org.uk/bff/2007/TVHeaven.asp ).
On their schedule for Sunday, 18 March at 3.25pm is "Shades of Green: The Overnight Bag", whose cast includes Tim. Here's the description from the
Shades of Greene: The Overnight Bag
Dir. Peter Hammond
GB, 1975, 15 mins
Cast: Tim Brooke-Taylor, Eleanor Summerfield, Dudley Sutton, Joyce Carey, Diana Berriman, Daphne Lawson, Neville Phillips
The Goodies' Tim Brooke-Taylor plays Henry, a seemingly mild-mannered (if somewhat secretive) man determined to get his bag past curious plane passengers and Heathrow Customs, in this sinister episode from the Shades of Greene series of Graham Greene adaptations.
(16th Mar)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
ISIRTA CDs – REVIEW
(by Kimba W.Lion)
 
I'll do a technical review, since I don't know how to write a review of the shows themselves--everyone already knows they're simply hilarious, right?. It's obvious a good time was had by all when ISIRTA was being made, and I still love this series today, over 30 years since I first heard it (mid-70s rebroadcasts in the US). I will say, however, that I suspect that part of the fun of the show is thinking up your own jokes as you're listening and matching them with what the show's writers and performers came up with. That said, as I was listening to the Bunny and Claude episode just now, I came up with a joke that the ISIRTA team could not possibly have done in 1968 (no, it's not filthy). So I committed it to audio myself, and you can hear it here: http://www.kimbawlion.com/misc/police.mp3  (245K MP3 file). Yes, ISIRTA is truly infectious!
 
As has been noted, the contents of CDs 1 through 4 were issued on cassette in the 1990s. Here, they have been rearranged into chronological order, but then along comes volume 5 to spoil the orderliness again. Oh, well, what can you do?
 
The sound quality is impeccable so far as I've heard (I've not listened to every minute of these 10 CDs as of yet). What's disconcerting, though, is that on volume 5, the first 2 shows (14 April 68 and 21 April 68) are presented in their edited-for-international-sales form: 25 minutes of show followed by (about) 2 minutes of filler music (to accommodate the needs of various radio stations). I have a longer version of the 14 April show myself--about 3 and a half minutes longer. Even on disc 2 of this set, where the shows appear to be of a respectable length (28 minutes each), I have a longer (by 2 minutes) version of the 5 May 68 show. Is this sloppiness on the part of BBC Audiobooks, or what exactly is going on here?
 
I decided to check the running times when I saw that every 2-disc set is presented as having exactly the same running time (115 minutes). This is just too unbelievable, and for good reason:
Volume 1: 119:12 (29:52/29:54/29:45/29:41)
Volume 2: 118:33 (29:54/29:27/29:28/29:44)
Volume 3: 113:50 (29:31/29:28/27:21/27:30)
Volume 4: 108:43 (26:52/27:13/54:38)
Volume 5: 110:49 (25:20[not counting filler music]/25:21[not counting filler music] /28:13/28:13)
 
(The timing of the 25th Anniversary Special, 54:38, looks suspiciously short to me, but I can't prove that the original show ran longer.)
The running times are not the only things that are exactly the same on every volume. The notes in each booklet are exactly the same. Rather shoddy treatment, in my opinion. Also, every disc is divided into 20 tracks and there is no indication at all of what is contained in each track. I would have liked, for example, to be able to pick out Bill Oddie's songs in each show.
 
At the price, I think BBC Audiobooks should have done better with their presentation of these shows. Certainly Volume 5 should have been sourced from more complete materials, and I wonder if it's possible to get the company to replace at least the first disc of the volume 5 set (ideally both discs, since the second disc does not contain all extant material for the 5 May 68 show).
 
If I haven't bored everyone with the technical details, then let me say that if you haven't already got the 1990s cassettes, the box set of Volumes 1-4 is definitely worth your while, and so is Volume 5 as long as you know you're not getting the definitive versions of those 4 shows. ISIRTA ranks up there with The Goons and The Goodies as simply unbeatable comedy.
 
 
* Sun, 25 March - "The South Bank Show" on ITV at 23:10 profiles "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton. The show is slated to include interviews with Tim, Graeme, and Barry Cryer.
(18th Mar)
 
 
* Sundays - ABC Radio National (Australia) has been broadcasting "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) on Sunday mornings at 5.30am. From http://www.abc.net.au/rn/comedy/default.htm  it looks like the show may have ended its current run on the station as of March 4th BUT that "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", the 1960's sketch comedy series with all three Goodies plus John Cleese, Jo Kendall, & David Hatch, might be aired by ABC Radio National on Saturday mornings from Jul 7, 2007 to Jan 26, 2008.
(18th Mar)
 
 
* Mondays - BBC 7 airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme). Each episode is available via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. The show can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7  on the day of broadcast as well as for six days afterwards using Listen Again.
(18th Mar)
 
 
* Thanks to Graeme Garden for passing along the following.
A review of Kettering Magazine's article about I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue can be found at http://hotcuss.blogspot.com/2007/03/kettering-6-a5-zine-52pp-350.html
Those interested in more information about Kettering can visit www.myspace.com/ketteringmag  * Issue #6, which includes the ISIHAC article, can be ordered online from http://www.bodnotbod.org.uk/kettering/ ; this page also includes a caricature of the Clue team (including Tim & Graeme). Note that the magazine can be sent overseas.
* Shameless Plug Alert!
(22nd Mar)
 
 
* Thanks to the Saucy Gibbon Forum for spotting that tickets to two dates in the "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" tour are on sale. 
These are at
-The Birmingham Hippodrome on September 19th
and
- The Leeds Grand Theatre on August 31st
I was highly amused to find the show's description on Birmingham Hippodrome's site (at http://www.birminghamhippodrome.com/index.php?page=89&show=203 ) which says "Approximate running time: 17 hours, 28 minutes" - wow, talk about good value for money! ;)   (I imagine they'll be correcting that page at some point...)
My guess is that these venues jumped the gun and put tickets on sale prior to the official announcement of the tour schedule (as often happens). We'll post further details as they become available but, as always, let us know if you find any news!
(6th Apr)
 
 
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #28 – "SICK MAN BLUES"
***************************************************
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
 
WHO?
 
After drubbing ducks, trampling terrapins and spanking hamsters in their last music review, Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay) are eager to continue their slap-happy habits on a few new targets. The Emperor is off to give his new ugly, bearded, big-knockered Swedish au-pair a jolly good thrashing for having the temerity to hang her wet tights on his rubber duck, though he does admit he's quite excited at the prospect of having her mooning around the house! Meanwhile Peaches was initially planning to have Graeme's ad agency sell her to the nation as Maggie, Empress Of The World, so that she could dish out lots and lots of spanking to all of the common, scruffy little working-class oiks that refuse to vote for her. However her voice was considered to sound far too human for the role so she is now heading off to Whack-y Wales at the request of Reverend Llewellyn to spank the sinful wickedness out of anyone who dares to indulge in foul potions of the orient (drink tea), sample voluptuous indulgences of the carnal appetites (eat sandwiches) or who shows even the slightest sign of enjoying themselves at an eistedfodd. But before they go and do that, we'll quickly throw up, er throw over to our disgorging DJs and their review of "SICK MAN BLUES" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
"Sick Man Blues" can be heard on these recordings:
LP: Best Of ... The Goodies
Single: with "Funky Gibbon" on the flip side
CDs: "Yum Yum – The Very Best Of The Goodies" and "Funky Gibbon – The Best Of The Goodies"
Episode: 6/7 "The Goodies – Almost Live"
 
WHAT?
 
Lyrics: sung by Bill and Tim, with Graeme adding a memorable last line!
 
I woke up one morning, feeling so sick I thought I was dead (Oh yes I did)
I felt sick in my stomach and I felt sick in my head (Oh yeah)
So I rolled over on my pillow, and I threw up all over the bed
(You did, I know you did. You hear that?   I heard that)
 
I turned round to my wife, and I threw up all over her (Why you do that?!)
I threw up on the cat, and I threw up on the baby's chair (All over the chair)
Now five years I've been travellin', and I've thrown up everywhere!
 
I've thrown up in California, thrown up in Timbuktu
Now come on over here baby and I'll throw up over you!
Throw it up, throw it up, up up [blech], throw it up, throw it up, up up [bleah]
Oh Lord I'm tellin' you, I got those sick man blues
(I'll tell you a little bit more now)
 
Well I've thrown up over Indians, I've thrown up over Jews
I've even thrown up on my blue suede shoes
Throw it up, throw it up, up up [blech], throw it up, throw it up, up up [bleah]
Oh Lord I'm tellin' you, I got those sick man blue ... ooooooh ... [bleah ... bleah ... bleah!]
(Better out than in, man!)
 
 
The inspiration for a blues musician often stems from the miserable experiences that life happens to throw up at frequent intervals, and it just so happens to be frequent miserable throwing up that has propelled Bill and Tim's musical careers along. You can give the Blues Brothers the heave-ho; for these retch-ed Bilius Brothers are the best in the business, barf none! Nau-sea here, life wasn't meant to be queasy (far vomit in fact!) so once these boys discovered that their ability to puke was no fluke, they knew that they had found their calling (usually either for Ralph or Bert!) Now they pack the Ipecac (and a swag of sick bags) and take their regurgitation across the nation, specialising in Elvis tunes which ensure that their blue suede shoes end up looking distinctly yellow afterwards. These songs no doubt include "Love Me Chunder", "All Shook Up", "Heartburn Hotel", "Reflux To Sender" and "Viva Last (Night's) Vegies", so make sure that you don't book a front row seat for one of their projectile performances just in case there's a rendition of "Stuck On You" in there as well! To their great credit, they never discriminate; always sharing their (recycled) lunch with less fortunate family members, pets and folks of all nationalities in a novel way of promoting world harmony – regardless of your skin colour you're bound to turn a revolted deep shade of green after these lads have done their "Ig-Nobel Pizza Prize"-winning work all over you! Still maybe it's time for them to ignore their gut feelings and try some new material for a change ... like Billy Joel's "Upchuck Girl" or Abba's "Knowing Me, Knowing Spew" (ahurrrk!) ... hmm, then again, maybe not. Just be grateful that they're only singing Elvis covers and not Chuck Berry ones instead!
 
WHY?
 
(Peaches Stiletto):
This song definitely invokes a strong feeling, particularly in the back of one's throat. With retching realism and a spastic rhythm the guys are not only singing the blues . . . they're whistling beef. If music lovers had stronger stomachs this number should rightfully be a blues classic . . . after all, what could be more sorrowful than blowing chunks night and day? (Although it could be argued the one left singing the blues would be the cleaning lady.) It might have been more appropriate to have written this as a country number, since playing in honky tonk bars would have been advantageous with the sawdust already on the floor. The singers may have broken a record for the most amount of "return" engagements without actually being asked to perform anywhere a second time! As they drove the porcelain tour bus to fame our heroes left them laughing at the floor. Having spewed the world over the boys probably found their most appreciative audience in Southern California where their song would become an anthem for a generation of confused wanna-be models (i.e.: "I wish they all could be California hurls.") This is undoubtedly one of the world's only musical tributes to reverse defecation and it certainly gives new meaning to the term "queasy listening." Without any hesitation the guys let their hair down (although it might have been better for them to tie their hair back). Not for those weak of heart or stomach, you either have to take it or heave it. I rate this one a big thumbs up and two lunches down . . . and out!
 
(Emperor Caligula):
One of Bill's few regrets from the golden years of The Goodies is that they never embarked on a musical tour. After all these years it's the perfect time for Bill and Tim to take their custard-guts concerts to far-retching places and whole new audiences who should be able to stomach them quite easily after three further decades of puking at the merest mention of Max Bygraves and his so-called music.
Their world tour kicks off soon in New Orleans, with Graeme already there blowing off merrily on beans and sprouts, and their combined efforts are guaranteed to cause a right old stink at the annual "Up Come-bo The Gumbo" celebrations. From there it's over to the Middle East (stopping for a quick spew in Timbuktu on the way) for their starring roles in "Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Yawn", before heading to beautiful Austria and another musical with the Von (Digestive) Tract family and their herd of rather bloated cows – "The hills are alive to the sound of moo – sick!!" (Erk, where's that Indian and his accurate arrow when you need him? Probably gone on a hasty horseback dash to the shower after being vomited on by Tim!) After conducting the grand opening (of their gullets) at the Rochdale "Black Pudding Blerkfest", the Goodies' final gags, er gigs will be in Australia – the much-anticipated "Chunder Down Under" tour (proudly sponsored by the "Big Barf Comedy Festival"!) – so in true Aussie tradition I'll be "chucking a sickie" from work so that I don't miss it. Hope that they're going to sing the "Disco Heave", otherwise I'll be quite gutted!
Regardless, it's a pleasure to finally be able to review a Goodies song that's actually sicker than my own puns, though that's a matter to ruminate over as well. Song sicker or puns sicker? I think ... it's gonna be ... a toss-up. (Raaaaalph!)
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
III Goody Goody Yuck Yuck! (Peaches Stiletto)
IIII Officially Amazing (Emperor Caligula)
 
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
 
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially Amazing.
III   - Goody Goody Yum Yum.
II    - Fair-y Punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' pikelets.
 
Next music review:
June – The Policeman's Opera
 
 
6. GOODIESRULEOK? SEARCH ME!
*********************************
(by Brett Allender)
 
A few more strange Google search strings that have led websurfers to our site, accidentally or otherwise:
 
"dont talk to strangers babies blue tv kids"
(I'll remember that sound advice for the next time I'm confronted with a strange blue baby tv kid.)
 
"fat smasher diet can you use can veg or beans"
(Yes but just make sure there aren't any trombone-playing aliens around or you'll be grabbed by the UFOs – ouch! Poetic licence is good enough apparently.)
 
"funny bedroom muredr pictures"
(I hope they're as funny as your murdered spelling.)
 
"how to cure mange in domestic cats"
(One of Twinkle's vitamin pills should do the trick ... as long as you're insured for the subsequent damage to half of London.)
 
"how to play the godfather theme on the xylophone"
(Very carefully, I'd imagine. It would be hard to play an improved version in concrete boots at the bottom of the harbour!)
 
"learing the harmonica"
(You can get locked up for that, y'know.)
 
"night of the living dead 1990"
(A Max Bygraves concert in Bognor)
 
"peedoodles and shoes"
(They wouldn't be "shiny shoes" anymore after that.)
 
"pink song lyrics for stupid girls"
(And blue song lyrics for stupid boys too, no doubt? Good idea to colour code them!)
 
"singapore scouts' proficiency badge"
(I'll bet that none of them have a Wig Spotters Badge ... or a World Domination Badge either.)
 
"topless badger fans"
(Bill and his up-close wildlife docos have a lot to answer for!)
 
 
7. GOODIES CROSSWORD SOLUTION
***********************************
 
Here's the solution for the Goodies Crossword that appeared in C&G #136 (March 2007). There is also a copy of the solution in Word format at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=88 :
 

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C

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

C

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R

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R

1

 

P

D

 

 

 

 

T

 

M

 

 

1

2

 

I

 

P

E

R

T

W

E

E

 

 

2

3

 

K

 

U

 

E

 

I

 

 

B

 

3

4

 

E

D

D

I

E

 

T

Y

R

E

 

4

5

 

 

 

D

 

T

 

 

 

 

E

 

5

6

 

 

 

I

 

 

W

A

T

E

R

 

6

7

 

 

S

N

O

T

 

 

R

 

 

 

7

8

 

A

 

G

 

D

A

V

I

D

 

 

8

9

 

L

E

S

 

 

L

 

B

O

G

 

9

10

 

E

 

 

W

H

I

T

E

 

 

 

10

R

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R

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C

1

2

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10

C

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8. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
**************************
 
(a) Bill
(b) He wipes them in Bill's hair to clean them
(c) Lips or Almighty Cod
(d) Cry
(e) The Mystic East Fish & Chip Shop (also accept Rochdale, Lancashire)
(f) His wee cousin Hamish
(g) The Archbishop Of Canterbury
(h) Miniature electronic receivers
(score a bonus point if you answered "himself", after Graeme's spectacular tumble into the pudding vat!)
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Mastermind Of The Year
7    Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITIONS:
- UK Tour 25th April 2007
- #138:    15th May 2007.
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
 
*******************************************************************************
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2007. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN WORD DOCUMENT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the Word mailing list.
******************************************************************************
 



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