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C&G 134 Jan 2007
C&G 134 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 15/01/2007

Index

» C&G 134

       **********************************************
       *   THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE   *
       **********************************************
 
 
    * THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
             (http://www.goodiesruleok.com )
 
 
Issue No. 134                   15th January 2007
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- David Piper-Balston, Wackywales, Michael Shaw
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
(Vale Magnus Magnusson, who died on January 7th 2007 from cancer at the age of 77. He was the host of the BBC quiz show "Mastermind" from its first recording in 1972 until 1997, asking more than 64,000 questions over almost 450 programs.
Born in Iceland but moving to Scotland as a child, Magnus was best known to Goodies fans from his guest role as "Magnus Magnesium" in the "Frankenfido" episode, where in his inimitable style, he kept a straight face while asking Bill (who was dressed in a dog suit as Cuddly Scamp Hairylegs Of Cricklewood) a series of general knowledge questions which fortuitously had responses like "woof", "ruff" and "(h)owl" as the answers.
He also appeared as one of the guests on Bill Oddie's edition of "This Is Your Life" where he described Bill as being "par excellence"; a description that also befitted his own lengthy career as the host of "Mastermind")
 
QUOTE: "And there's a very big order here ... from David Frost!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Which product has David Frost supposedly ordered?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Dodonuts"
 
(d) What is the title of Tim and Graeme's hunting club?
(e) What sort of animal does Graeme sit on during the club meeting?
(f) What kind of survival mechanism does the slug supposedly have?
(g) What is the only kind of food that the dodo will eat?
(h) What are names of the two dodos in the Walt Disney nature film?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
GOODIES T-SHIRTS
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
 
Due to the terrific response to our holiday sale we've decided to extend it through the month of January. In addition, we're offering a further discount on select women's style shirts. Why not take advantage of the additional time to get a Goodies t-shirt in time for the March-April UK Goodies shows?
 
Full details are available at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/tshirts.php
 
 
WEBSITE POLLS
(by Brett Allender)
 
Our website poll question for December, appropriately enough, was:
What Goodies-inspired gift would you like for Christmas?
 
This is how the voting panned out:
 
More Goodies live appearances               24 votes
Goodies repeats on the BBC and/or the ABC 105 votes
New Goodies DVDs                           126 votes
CDs of the Goodies albums                   6 votes
CDs of music from the Goodies episodes      11 votes
A club t-shirt                              10 votes
All of the above                            98 votes
Other                                        2 votes
People to stop voting for Rolf Harris       27 votes
Total:                                     409 votes
 
Hmm, lots of popular options there and thankfully Rolf wasn't one of them. Hopefully Santa did manage to bring everyone a Goodies book, DVD or t-shirt once he finally stopped annoying the girl underneath the mistletoe, slipped back up the flue again and got on with the rest of his deliveries on Christmas Eve!
 
The January poll is again a rather topical one, namely:
 
What's your Goodies-inspired New Year's Resolution?
 
- To see the Goodies live stage show
- Get the BBC/ABC to rescreen The Goodies
- Try New Improved Snooze (and sleep right through 2007 altogether!)
- Tow the country outside the 5 mile limit
- To discover t'secret of Ecky Thump
- Go mining for cream and scones (scOnes!)
- Learn how to dance the Disco Heave
- Bounce around the world on a spacehopper
- Other
- To stop voting for Rolf Harris in the polls
 
Let's see, my new year's resolution is ... to go for my Cheering Up Lonely Young Housewives Whose Husbands Are Away At Work scouting badge. No, I've already got one of those so how about resolving to ... join the Rolf Harris Fan Club instead! Nah, it's too much hard work being the one and only member of a whole club, so maybe ... giving up drinking water because it's "far too sexy!" That means I'll have to drink more beer instead, yay, so that's my NYR all sorted out. Now get along to the website and vote for yours!
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
 
 
THE GOODIES ARE COMING FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU ... IN BRITAIN!
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden brought their highly successful Goodies Live show to the 2006 Edinburgh Fringe festival and Paramount Brighton Comedy Festival. More fans will finally have a chance to see the show this coming March & April when "The Goodies Still Rule OK!" tour plays another 24 dates in the UK.
 
Tim & Graeme will appear live; Bill will participate via the wonders of video (due to filming commitments for his various nature shows).
 
The producers have kindly supplied the following list of tour dates. On sale dates, show times, and booking information will be updated as the information becomes available at: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=10
 
SHOW DATES & CITIES
 
Torquay:
* Thurs, 15 March 2007 - Princess Theatre 
Box Office Phone Number: 08702 41 41 20
 
 
Canterbury:
* Fri, 16 March 2007 7:30pm - Marlowe Theatre (Tickets £21.50 & £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01227 787787
 
 
Colchester:
* Sat, 17 March 2007 - Mercury Theatre (Tickets £15.50 / £18.50 / £19.50 / £20.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01206 573948
 
 
Windsor:
* Sun, 18 March 2007 7:30pm - Theatre Royal
Box Office Phone Number: 01753 853888
 
 
Lincoln:
* Thu, 22 March 2007 7:30pm - Theatre Royal (Tickets: £19.50, £14.00)
* Fri, 23 March 2007 7:30pm - Theatre Royal (Tickets: £19.50, £14.00)
Box Office Phone Numbers: 01522 534570, 01522 525555, 01522 519999
 
 
High Wycombe:
* Sat, 24 March 2007 7:30pm - Swan Theatre (Tickets £15.50 & £17.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01494 512000
 
 
Nottingham:
* Sun, 25 March 2007 7:30pm - Concert Hall (Tickets £22, £20 & £18)
Box Office Phone Number: 0115 9895555
 
 
Buxton:
* Mon, 26 March 2007 7:30pm - Opera House (Tickets £17.50, £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 0845 127 2190
 
 
Tunbridge Wells:
* Fri, 30 March 2007 7:30pm - Assembly Hall Theatre (Tickets: £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01892 530613/532072
 
 
Basingstoke
* Sat, 31 March 2007 7:45pm - Anvil Theatre (Tickets £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01256 844244
Show Listing: http://www.theanvil.org.uk/  (There isn't a direct link to the show - find it by selecting "what's on" at the top of the page, then "Full Season" from the pull down menu. On the next page click "March 2007" in the "view month" menu at the left side of the page.
 
 
Southend:
* Sun, 1 April 2007 - Palace Theatre
Box Office Phone Number: 01702-351135
 
 
Hull:
* Weds, 4 April 2007 7:30pm - New Theatre (Tickets £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: (01482) 226 655 
 
 
Bradford:
* Thurs, 5 April 2007 8:00pm - St George's Hall (Tickets £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01274 432000
 
 
Birmingham:
* Fri, 6 April 2007 - Alexandra Theatre
Box Office Phone Number: Tickets sold via Ticketmaster - 0870 607 7533
 
 
Darlington:
* Sat, 7 April 2007 7:30pm - Civic Theatre (Tickets £18.50, £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: (01325) 486 555
 
 
Edinburgh
* Sun, 8 April 2007 - Festival Theatre
Venue website: http://www.eft.co.uk/  
Box Office Phone Number: (0131) 529 6000
 
 
Croydon:
* Thurs, 12 April 2007 7:45pm - Ashcroft
Venue website: http://www.fairfield.co.uk/  
Box Office Phone Number: 020 8688 9291
Show Listing: Go to http://www.fairfield.co.uk/  and use the "Search for a show" box located on the left side of the page.
 
 
Derby:
* Fri, 13 April 2007 7:30pm - Assembly Rooms (Tickets £19.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01332 255 800
 
 
Dartford:
* Sat, 14 April 2007 7:30pm- Orchard Theatre (Tickets £20.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01322 220000
Show listing: Go to http://www.dartford.gov.uk/thingstodo/ORCHARD/orchard_main.htm  then click on "The Goodies-Still Rule Ok!" link in the menu on the right side of the page.
 
 
Oxford:
* Mon, 16 April 2007 7:30pm - Playhouse Theatre (Tickets £20.50 £17.50 £13.50 £7.50)
Box Office Phone Number: 01865 305305
 
 
Northampton:
* Weds, 18 April 2007 - Derngate Theatre
Box Office Phone Number: 01604 624811
 
 
CHORTLING AT THE GOODIES
(David Piper-Balston – Goodies-l – 15th Dec)
 
 
The Goodies are to tour the UK ­ more than 25 years after their TV show ended.
 
Tim Brooke Taylor and Graeme Garden will play 24 dates next spring, with Bill Oddie making contributions on video.
 
The Goodies Still Rule OK! was performed at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, following a successful comeback tour of Australia, featuring all three performers, in 2005.
 
In the show, Tim and Graeme reminisce about the making of the TV series, which ran from 1970 to 1982, and play video clips, including scenes bits banned by Australian TV and sketches from the student revue that took them to Broadway.
 
Oddie's absence is blamed on filming commitments, but he has filmed new video inserts for the tour, which starts in Torquay on March 15.
 
They list the full schedule here.
 
 
 
TOP OF THE POPS
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 19th Dec)
 
Sat, 23 Dec - "TOTP 2" on UKTV G2 at 10:00-11:00. An edition featuring famous comedy songs, including a contribution from The Goodies.
 
 
THE TASTY TIN
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Dec)
 
I received my copy of The Tasty Tin from Ezydvd.com.au and was very surprised by the contents.
 
The tin itself is very nice - the colors are bright and some bits (like the text and the stars on the front) are raised. But I expected the contents to be the same as "The Tasty Box", given the similar titles and identical cover art (the product description wasn't sufficiently detailed until a recent update to indicate otherwise).
 
The metal tin actually contains the two sets The Goodies: 8 Delicious Episodes and The Goodies: A Tasty Second Helping. These are the same sets as those sold separately (in individual packages and individually shrink wrapped).
 
While these are excellent sets, they don't have some of the features (such as the color version of "Come Dancing") as The Tasty Box. If you're looking for those extras, you should forgo this set and get The Tasty Box.
 
The URLs for these two sets at EzyDVD's site are:
 
 
 
 
There's are detailed descriptions of The Tasty Box, 8 Delicious Episodes, and A Tasty Second Helping in the Video/DVD section of The Goodies Illustrated Guide (www.goodiesillustratedguide.com) as well as the non-illustrated version in the Articles section of the club site (http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=6&page=3 ) (I haven't had a chance to add "The Tasty Tin" to the guide yet.)
 
 
DEFINITELY A BOFFO IDEA
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 30th Dec)
 
Tues, 2 Jan - "When We Were Scouts" on BBC 2 from 20:00-21:00. A program to mark the 100th anniversary of the Scouting movement which will include "historical and classic comedy clips" including a contribution from The Goodies (presumably from the "Scoutrageous" episode). Repeated Sat 13th at 20:10.
 
 
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARCHIVE
(from information contributed by Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 9th Jan)
 
Some articles have begun appearing about "Raiders of the Lost Archive", a series that will include an appearance by Bill. As mentioned in the November issue of the C&G, we believe his episode will include some of the recently recovered Goodies footage from "Engelbert with the Young Generation". Here are the URLs; the Goodies-related extracts of the articles are below:
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FROM THE MANCHESTER EVENING NEWS:
 
Raiders Of The Lost Archive
 
 
WHAT'S in your TV archive?
 
Mine dates back to the early 1980s and includes thousands of video recordings, as well as more recent DVDs and hard drives.
But in the 1960s, before the invention of cheap video recorders, tape was very expensive.
TV companies routinely wiped programme footage once it had been broadcast so the tape could be used again.
Many live TV shows also vanished as no-one saw the need to record them. Other recordings simply went missing.
Now a new four-part series has unearthed TV footage thought to have been lost forever.
Michael Parkinson, Bruce Forsyth, Rolf Harris and Bill Oddie are among those reunited with some of their earliest TV material.
Other highlights include rescued footage of Morecambe and Wise, Cliff Richard's only straight acting TV role, Bruce Forsyth in 1968 on "Tarbuck's Back" and material from The Goodies which turned up in Germany.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES:
 
The Sunday Times January 07, 2007
 
Found: early stutterings of Parky and Rolf
Richard Brooks, Arts Editor
 
There is also footage of John Humphrys, the Today presenter, as a 25 year
old interviewing Morecambe and Wise in 1968; Sir Cliff Richard in his screen
acting role in the television drama A Matter of Diamonds in the same year;
an episode of The Goodies, the 1970s comedy show, dubbed into German; and
the first known footage of Bruce Forsyth filmed at a Devon resort.
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
(All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited)
 
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* Bill will be one of the celebrities participating in the end of the year quiz show "The Big Finish", which will be hosted by Graham Norton (I believe this will air on BBC One on New Year's Eve). 
Some information about the show can be found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bigfinish/index.shtml ; Bill and the other celebrity guests are shown at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bigfinish/celebrities.shtml .
(13th Dec)
 
 
* Tues, 26 Dec - "Springwatch Special" with Bill on BBC 2 at 19:30-21:00. This show, with Bill Oddie, Kate Humble, and Simon King, features best moments from this year's Springwatch and Autumnwatch series.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* "Grumpy Old New Year" with Bill on Fri, 29 Dec at 21:00 to 22:00. It will be repeated on Sun, 31 Dec at 20:05.. Here's a listing - "Middle-aged celebrities have a good whinge about the New Year festivities - the compulsory partying, the staying up late, and even the fact that it's the one night of the year when being grumpy isn't allowed. Jenny Eclair, Arabella Weir, Des Lynam, Bill Oddie, Brian Conley, Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen, Alan Titchmarsh, Stuart Maconie, Dillie Keane, Jeremy Clarkson, Linda Robson, Kathryn Flett, Gerry Robinson, Rhona Cameron and Rick Wakeman are among those getting things off their chests."
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Tues, 19 Dec - "All I Want For Christmas" with Bill. UKTV Style at 10:30, repeated at 23:30. Also on UKTV Style Plus 1 at 11:30, repeated at 22:30.   Both channels will repeat it again on Sun, 24 Dec (at 16:30 and 17:30, respectively).
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Tues, 19 Dec - "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife" is being repeated by BBC 2 Scotland at 19:00. Another episode will be shown on Fri, 22 Dec at 19:30.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Friday, 22 Dec - "Top 50 Greatest Celebrity Animals" with Bill is being repeated on Sky Two at 20:00. It will be shown again on Sun, 24 Dec at 11:00 and by Sky One on Sun, 31 Dec at 13:00.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Sat, 30 Dec - "The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs" with Bill is being repeated on UKTV Documentary and UKTV Documentary Plus at various times (please consult your local listings).
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Various starting 27 Dec - "Birding with Bill Oddie" on UKTV Style Gardens. Please check your local listings for specific dates and times.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Nightly - "Bill Oddie's Animal House" on The Baby Channel (Sky channel 285) nightly at 8pm (thanks for Fiona Mikiel for this info)
(19th Dec)
 
 
* On BBC7 on Saturday's Listen Again, Bill makes a small appearance in Tony Hawks' 12 Days of Christmas, which is part of the Christmas Comedy Stocking. It's the fourth show (starting at about 1 hour 30 minutes through).
(Michael Shaw – 21st Dec)
 
 
* Thurs, 11 Jan - "Bill Oddie Back in the USA" on BBC 2 at 20:30-21:00. The start of a new series. Here is a listing for this episode: "New York. Long before he became known as a wildlife presenter, Bill Oddie toured the USA with fellow Cambridge graduates John Cleese and Tim Brooke-Taylor. Now, 43 years on he's touring the States again to check out the creatures there wasn't time to see the first time round. The series starts in New York City where Bill discovers a wealth of wildlife from bin-raiding raccoons to a pair of celebrity red-tailed hawks who live on fashionable 5th Avenue."
(30th Dec)
 
 
* According to http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?in_article_id=31382&in_page_id=7&in_a_source=  and http://www.lse.co.uk/TVNews.asp?Code=ZW36476R&headline=celebrities_in_comic_relief_song , Bill is scheduled to be one of the celebrities appearing in a new Comic Relief video. Here's the article from the Metro:
 
It seems Tess Daly could be taking part in the new Comic Relief video, according to reports.
 
Comic duo Peter Kay and Matt Lucas are to record a cover of The Proclaimers anthem I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) for the charity, with backing vocals by the Scottish brothers who originally wrote the hit.
 
In the video, Pete and Matt might be accompanied by TV beauty Tess, Des Lynam, Paul O'Grady, Status Quo and Tony Blackburn, according to the Daily Star.
 
And that's not all. Bill Oddie, The Krankies, Bonnie Langford, Showaddywaddy, Claire Grogan and Dave Lee Travis are all also tipped to appear.
 
Peter Kay hopes to produce a video to rival his hilarious appearance on Tony Christie's video for (Is This The Way To) Amarillo.
 
That fundraising single, featuring comedy legend Ronnie Corbett, became a massive hit.
 
This time, a David Beckham lookalike will "marry" Nora Batty actress Kathy Staff in a wedding-themed music video.
 
A spokesman for the charity explained: "The Comic Relief single is hugely important. It's a great fundraiser."
(4th Jan)
 
 
* Sun, 14 January - "The Meaning of Life" on BBC 1 from 22:15 to 22:45 with Bill. Here's a listing: "Is That It? (Part 1 of 3). Documentary series which offers some entertaining, original and thought-provoking theories as to how we got here, why and what happens when it's all over. Contributors including John Lydon, Fern Britton, John Humphrys, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, Bill Oddie, Dame Kelly Holmes and Alan Titchmarsh give their take on what life and death are all about."
(8th Jan)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
* Please note that the final episode of "One" will air this week; both Graeme and Bill are listed among the performers. If you've enjoyed the series why not let the BBC know by calling the BBC Duty Log (the number is 08700 100222). I'm told the BBC does pay attention to this feedback (this may encourage them to commission another series!) 
Here's the listing for tonight's episode:
23:00
One
21 December 2006
The all-new sketch show where no sketch features more than one voice. Written by David Quantick and starring Dan Maier, Lizzie Roper, Graeme Garden, Deborah Norton, Andrew Crawford, Dan Antopolski, Simon Greenall and Kate Gielgud, with Bill Oddie and Jeremy Clarkson as themselves.
(19th & 22nd Dec)
 
 
* Keep an eye out for Graeme's small cameo in an upcoming appearance of the "Agatha Christie's Maple" episode "Nemesis".
(19th Dec)
 
 
* I've just received news that Tim and Graeme will be two of the special guests at Slapstick 2007: Bristol's Silent Comedy Festival. The event runs from 11-14 January 2007. Further details can be found at: http://www.watershed.co.uk/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Watershed.woa/wa/news?object=117
 
 
Currently the schedule shows Graeme taking part in a session called "Slapstick: How Did They Do That?" on Thurs, 11 January (http://www.watershed.co.uk/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Watershed.woa/wa/exhibit?object=946 ). 
Here's the description from that page: "Buster Keaton dives into solid concrete, swings across a waterfall to rescue the girl, and runs into a cinema screen to become part of the picture. The incredible stunts and special effects in silent comedies were all done before process screens, multiple printing and CGI made them much easier. Peter Lord (Aardman Animations) and David Wyatt from BBC's Vision On join Graeme Garden of The Goodies to explore how these stunts and tricks were done in those days and to explain how they recreated them for TV in the 70s and 80s. Featuring clips galore, both from their own work and from the silent comedies that inspired them."
I'll forward any further information I get.
(23rd Dec)
 
 
* Mon, 1 Jan - "The Unbelievable Truth" on BBC Radio 4 at 12:00. A repeat of the pilot episode which featured David Mitchell, Jeremy Hardy, Andy Hamilton, Neil Mullarkey, and Graeme Garden.
(30th Dec)
 
 
* Mon, 8 Jan & Tues, 9 Jan - two episodes of "Holby City" in which Graeme Garden appeared are being repeated on BBC Prime. Each episode is scheduled to air at 14:00 and then be repeated at 03:00 the following morning
(8th Jan)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Daily Mail October 15, 1994
 
HOW TO...PLAY CONKERS
BY: Tim Brooke-Taylor
 
Always pick your conker off a tree; never pick one up off the ground - that's only for sissies. When you spot a likely conker in the tree, get a piece of wood, reach into the tree and knock it down. Don't climb the tree - that's too dangerous. When I was a conker-playing 11-year old, we were very competitive about our conker trees. The aim was to find a really good tree that no one else knew about. It was very upsetting when another boy discovered a tree you thought only you knew.
Look for a medium-sized conker - a conker that's too big will be an easy target for your opponent. Using a kitchen skewer, put a hole through the heart of the conker, then thread a piece of string through the hole, tieing it at the unshiny end of the conker.
Don't play your new conker immediately - it'll be too soft. I used to cheat by baking them in the oven for five minutes to make them really tough. To disguise the crime, varnish the outside to make the coat as shiny as a brand new conker. You can also toughen them up by pickling them in vinegar, although I never did this. I suspect really clever people pickled their conkers, then baked them. I think almost everyone cheats, but it's impossible to prove. The person with the 'superior' conker always starts the game as the attacker. A superior conker is one which has beaten other conkers. So if your conker is new and you beat a conker with four wins on it already, your conker's score goes up to four. Then if you beat a conker with nine points on it, your conker is worth 13. My record prize fighter of a conker was a 1,400-er. If you are the attacker, hold the string in your right hand and the conker in your left hand with the string taut in between. Unleash the conker by slamming it down on to your opponent's. I had a special way of sending it sideways to give an arc to the swing, which worked well for me. The idea is to smash the other boy's conker into a thousand million pieces. But too often, the conker comes down on your opponent's knuckles, making it too painful for them to play for long.
Just William is the conker-players' hero, and every schoolboy wants to be like him. But you can play conkers at any age. When my sons were younger, they used to give me a ready-made conker on a string to persuade me to play. But they were cunning and always gave me a weak conker. I never had a chance.
(Contributed by Wackywales)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* "The Best of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", featuring material from shows recorded this year introduced by Humph, will air on Mon, 25 Dec 18:30 BBC Radio 4 (with a repeat the following Sunday)
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Mondays - "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue". The new series airs on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30. Each episode will be repeated around noon the following Sunday (verify start times in your local listings as they sometimes vary from week to week). The show can be heard online live and then via Listen Again for a week after the initial broadcast at www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 . Note that there will be a special edition on Christmas day - "The Best of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue"
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Mondays starting 18 Dec - "Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea". The first series is being repeated on BBC 7 at 23:00. It can be heard worldwide from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7  both live and for six days after broadcast via Listen Again.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Sundays - ABC Radio National is broadcasting "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) on Sunday mornings at 5.30am.
(19th Dec)
 
 
* Mondays - BBC 7 airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme). Each episode is available via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. The show can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7  on the day of broadcast as well as for six days afterwards using Listen Again.
(19th Dec)
 
 
"Sue Perkins Christmas Comedy Stocking, Part 1" was repeated on BBC 7 this past Saturday; it'll be available via Listen Again through this Friday (Dec 22nd) from http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listenagain/saturday/ . The show includes "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Christmas Carol" (the ISIHAC Xmas special from 2003) plus "Tony Hawks' Twelve Days of Christmas", a 2001 special which includes a sizeable contribution from Bill Oddie.
(19th Dec)
 
 
Also, the "Seven's Shorts" segments in which regular ISIHAC cast members (including Tim and Graeme) reminisced about Willie Rushton are still available from BBC 7's website at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/drama/shorts.shtml .
(19th Dec)
 
 
* The following information is from a message sent to the "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" mailing list:
 
1. FREE tickets are available to a special recording of 'Hamish & Dougal's Burns' Night Special', a special one-off recording for Burns' Night, featuring Barry and Graeme's famous Scotsmen as heard in the Sound Charades round on ISIHAC. Barry and Graeme are joined by Alison Steadman (who plays their housekeeper Mrs Naughtie) and Jeremy Hardy (who plays the local Laird). The show is being recorded on Sunday 21st January at the Shaw Theatre, 100-110 Euston Road, London NW1 2AJ. The recording starts at 7.30pm, with doors opening at 7pm. Tickets are available from BBC Audience Services by calling 020 8576 1227 or writing to BBC Audience Services, PO Box 3000, BBCTV Centre, London W12 7RJ. You'll need to call early as this show will be very popular. The show will be broadcast at 2302 on Burns Night (Thursday 25th January).
 
2. In March and April this year there's an opportunity to see Tim Brooke-Taylor & Graeme Garden Live on Stage in their hit show 'The Goodies Still Rule OK!' Here's how the show describes itself:
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor & Graeme Garden Live on Stage. A laughter filled evening celebrating the legendary Goodies. Reminiscences, ridiculousness, clips, bits of sketches, Goodies filthy bits banned by Australian television, the union jack waistcoat and quite possibly explosions (insurance pending!). INCLUDES all new footage of Bill Oddie! Catch rare glimpses of the lesser-tufted scruff pot after being returned to the wild!
 
 "As silly as ever and still just as funny"
Evening Standard 2006
 
The tour commences on 15th March and runs though till 18th April, and they will be visiting Torquay, Canterbury, Colchester, Windsor, Lincoln, High Wycombe, Nottingham, Buxton, Tunbridge Wells, Basingstoke, Southend, Hull, Bradford, Birmingham, Darlington, Edinburgh, Croydon, Derby, Dartford, Eastbourne, Oxford and Northampton. For further details of dates, venues and ticket prices, this is a useful link:
 
 
3. In case you haven't heard, Humphrey has a book out which is selling extraordinarily well (already on its fourth print run) and is highly recommended reading for all Humph fans. It's called: "It Just Occurred to Me... The Thoughts & Reminiscences of Chairman Humph". Here's how it describes itself:
 
"To the people who might recognise him as Chairman Humph - the ubiquitous host of the hilarious and timeless BBC Radio 4 show 'I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue'; to avid listeners of BBC Radio 2's The Best of Jazz; to those who attend his gigs at jazz venues around the country; and to those who read the Daily Mail in the late 1940's and chuckled at his cartoons; Humphrey Lyttelton needs little introduction. But for those that don't fall into the above categories, suffice it to say that Humphrey Lyttelton is a National Institution. An icon of the jazz world, his was the first British jazz record ever to make it into the Top 20. At eighty-five, he still tours relentlessly, both with his band, and with ISIHAC, entrancing audiences with his quick wit and musical fingers. It Just Occurred to Me... is as close as you will get to Humph's life story. Yet, unlike most autobiographies, it is not a chronological series of life-defining moments. Quite the contrary; it is structured like a jazz number - a series of thoughts that follow their own path for a little while before returning to join the backbone of the story once more. It is a scrapbook of thoughts, woven together with anecdotes about the people he's met and worked with, during an impressive career that has spanned over fifty years. Witty, lighthearted, but also profound in parts, It Just Occurred to Me... is a highly original book from one of radio's best-loved personalities.
 
To hear more about the book straight from the horse's mouth, watch Humph's videocast on: www.meettheauthor.co.uk/bookbites/1236.html
 
"It Just Occurred to Me..." by Humphrey Lyttelton is published by Robson Books priced £12.99 and is available from Waterstones and all good book shops.
(11th Jan)
 
 
5. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Bill Oddie
(b) Clap Gas
(c) The Clown Virus
(d) The Endangered Species Club
(e) A panda
(f) It explodes when touched
(g) Baked beans
(h) Daisy and Dennis
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Mastermind Of The Year
7    Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
 
 
EARTHANASIA WORDFINDER SOLUTION from C&G 133
 
clue: "the end of the world is nigh"
(4, 4, 3 and 6 letters, plus a rogue apostrophe!)
 
Solution: Tim's nuts are nicest
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #135: 15th February 2007.
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
 
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2007. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN WORD DOCUMENT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the Word mailing list.
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