» #13 Dec 1996
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
Issue No. 13 12th December 1996
It seems that last month’s 1st anniversary newsletter will be a hard act to follow. I received many positive comments from people about it and I’m sorry that this month’s newsletter is a bit shorter. Perhaps 13 IS an unlucky number? However, this month’s C&G features the final article by Vanessa Meachen and Rohan Byrnes on The Goodies and those dastardly ABC censors. I hope you enjoy it, they’ve been great articles, both Vanessa and I have received positive reader feedback. It’ll be hard finding a replacement for these articles, so if you’ve got any ideas please let me know, <email@example.com>.
1. BOFFO IDEAS
3. THE GOODIES VS. THE ABC - PART 3 by Vanessa Meachen with Rohan Byrnes’ biro.
4. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ by David McAnally.
5. DID YOU KNOW?
1. BOFFO IDEAS
NEW, NEW, NEW.
Some of you will know that our web site has moved. The new location of our web site is:
Our old website at Dundee University is still running, but it will not be updated any more and soon all that will be there is a notice informing net surfers that we have moved. If you have linked our pages from your homepage, please change the link, so that people can find us easily.
In a few days we hope to have fully updated the new web site. The new pages will include a picture page and a page of academic analysis of The Goodies (well, actually just a few old uni essays). Thanks to Nick McCarthy, David McAnally and Davyd Leech for their contributions.
Also could you please note that both Nik Whitehead and myself have changed e-mail addresses. Nik’s new address is <firstname.lastname@example.org> (and why not check out her new Lost Island of Munga homepages, which are linked from out new web site). My new e-mail address is <email@example.com>, which admittedly isn’t that different from the old one, but I just thought I’d let you know anyway.
LETTER TO THE GOODIES
I’ll be sending you all a copy of the proposed letter to The Goodies, telling them about us, in a few days. Sorry about the delay, I’m such a slack arse sometimes!
GOODIE FEST 2000?
You may remember from last month that I suggested we could have some kind of celebration for the 30th Anniversary of The Goodies in 2000. This month I’d like to get your opinion on this idea, because if we do want to get something going and possibly get one or more Goodies to come, we’d need to start planning and fundraising now. Here are a few things to think about:
** What kind of celebration do we want to have? **
A convention, with guest speakers, stalls, episode screenings, etc. OR a dinner with one or more Goodie(s) as guest speaker(s) OR video nights with drinks and nibbles.
** Where will we have it? **
In this case we will have to consider where in each country an event would be held or whether there would be several similar events in different parts of that country. And how will people who need to travel interstate get there? Are people willing to share travel and accommodation costs or would people be willing to host billets?
** How we will raise enough money? **
It would be expensive to fly and accommodate any of The Goodies to places like Australia or the US and even if an event was held in the UK, there may still be travel and accommodation costs and appearance fees to worry about. Also we would have to pay for the venue, the food and probably the rights to screen episodes. There are several ways that money could be raised, such as selling fundraising chocolates, raffles etc or there could simply be an entrance fee, which would probably be huge if we didn’t have some kind of funding or even sponsorship.
** Who will organise these events? **
Obviously someone or some people who live where the event is to be held, but how will they organise it?
Any suggestions and ideas would be welcome <firstname.lastname@example.org>, I’m confident that in 4 years time this club can organise something, if not several somethings all around the world.
Some of you will remember Goodies-L, the splendid mailing list that was. I know I’ve been going on about this for months, but heaps of people would love to get another Goodies-L going, coz it was heaps of fun! Goodies-L was a mailing list where subscribers could post information and questions to the list and then receive fairly quick responses from other subscribers. If you know where we can get a mailing list going, please let me know so we can set it up <email@example.com>.
I recently started subscribing to Cor Magazine, a British Comedy fanzine which lists among its honorary readers Tim Brooke-Taylor. The editor, Robert Ross, is a huge Goodies fan and he’s planning a Goodies special issue, featuring an interview with Tim Brooke-Taylor, some time in 1997.
Also, in every issue he lists the latest happenings of honorary members. In issue #7, which came out in 1994, he mentioned that The Goodies went on Gloria Hunniford’s BBC Radio 2 programme promoting the release of the Goodies videos. (Incidentally, The Goodies chose the episodes which appear on video, themselves) A few weeks later Tim’s choice of three special records were broadcast. He chose “We Three” by Ink Spots, “Mad Dogs and Englishmen” by Noel Coward ‘for the wonderful lyrics’ and “Nobody Does it Better” by Carly Simon, because it was about him!
Nobody does it, half as good as you, Tim Brooke-Taylor, you’re the best...?
Now, we wouldn’t want to be prejudiced against Graeme and Bill, would we?
Also from issue #7 was the news that Bill Oddie launched his own TV production company, called “Look Lively TV”. The company specialises in children’s shows and family type shows and is based at Southhampton.
You can subscribe to Cor Magazine for £9 a year and back issues are £3.50. Write to:
24 Richmond Rd
GRAEME THE DIRECTOR
Many thanks to Jamie Evangelista <firstname.lastname@example.org> who sent me the information that since 1987 Graeme Garden has been writing and directing training and information films for John Cleese’s old company, Video Arts. Recently Graeme directed a series of medical videos called “Videos For Patients”, which stared John Cleese. Graeme has also won an award for a video he wrote, made by
Illustra Films for Newman Knight and Round called “Diumide K”.
Graeme actually appeared in a Video Arts film called “More Bloody Meetings”, where he played a Dentist trying to extract more than a tooth from John Cleese. (Interestingly the dentist’s nurse, Bonzo, was played by Dave Prowse, who was Darth Vader in Star Wars).
Bananaman is back again on ABC TV. Australians can tune into this fantastic 5 minute cartoon series, with the voices of Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie, at 5.25pm weekdays.
I’M SORRY I’LL READ THAT AGAIN
ISIRTA (written by Garden and Oddie and starring TBT, GG, BO, John Cleese, David Hatch and Jo Kendall) is still playing ABC Radio National at 9pm on Friday nights. Check out the Radio National website for frequency details in your area:
Remember you can buy three double cassettes of ISIRTA at your ABC Shop or Centre. Three double cassettes of ISIRTA and a double cassette of Cambridge Circus and ISIRTA are available by mail order:
Talking Tapes Direct
P.O. Box 190
3. THE GOODIES VS THE ABC - PART THREE
by Vanessa Meachen <email@example.com> with Rohan Byrnes' biro
Season Six of The Goodies was relatively unscathed, with only one cut made, and Season Eight was completely untouched. Season Seven, however, is another matter. Of the three episodes censored, two had astoundingly enormous chunks cut out of them. (Note: although it is blatantly obvious that #62, 'Earthanasia', is also cut, sadly Foxtel missed this episode, playing #68, 'War Babies', instead. I am hoping that this was a mistake - since they also played 'War Babies' in its correct position a week later - and that I can catch 'Earthanasia' during the next run.)
#54, It Might As Well Be String - 1 cut
Bill and Graeme are demonstrating the ad for Kenny Cornflakes for
GRAEME: Picture the family, holding out their plates for more.
BILL: The children!
GRAEME: The husband!
BILL: She's a wonderful mum.
[GRAEME: And a terrific lay.]
#58, Dodonuts - 9 cuts
GRAEME: And the proof of the pudding is in tonight's menu, my little eco-freak. Look at this lot! Poached osprey's eggs, mole kebabs, [and barbecued badger balls.
TIM: My favourite!]
GRAEME: Don't sit there!
TIM: Why not?
GRAEME: Dodo doo's.
[TIM: That is my best throne! And look at the size of it! I thought it was a new cushion!
TIM: Oh! Well, now I'm awake I might as well get something to eat.
BILL: (peering at dodo doos): Ooh dear!] Well, we're going to have to get him house-trained.
GRAEME: You could be right, you see. If they only liked baked beans and the beans didn't agree with them, that would be rough on the survival of the species. [And of course, with beans there would be
other attendant problems.
(Huge farting noise from dodo.)
TIM: Oh, my God! Stop him, I can't stand that, stop him, will you, stop him!
BILL: It's only nature's way, mate!
TIM: I don't care.]
BILL: If he goes, I go.
GRAEME: It's a deal.
[Shot of Bill and the dodo walking down the road, with dodo-doos dropping frequently. People in the street start holding their noses and booing. An old man scoops up some dodo-doos with a shovel and dumps them on his rose beds; the roses immediately die. People start throwing fruit at Bill and the dodo.]
TIM: Now, it has been suggested that we create a few of our own, like potting nearly all the sparrows. [But I'm not eating bloody sparrow sandwiches for six months.]
BILL: Out of that door! Otherwise, Uncle Bill severs the snout.
[(Dodo farts loudly. Bill groans and drops the axe, and starts
spraying air freshener about.)
BILL: Oh please, please go outside just for a few seconds, will you? I mean, let's just get a breath of fresh air! I mean, you're perfectly safe, you're a protected species, you're in a sanctuary! Come on, come on, come on.] Oh listen, who'd want to hurt you?
BILL (in dodo suit): You'll be forced to admit that it's perfectly safe to pop your handsome hooter outside that door. OK, let's go.
[(Dodo makes strange rumbling noise.)
BILL: Here, here, you can take that look out of your eye. You randy little devil! Tell you what, though - if I spot any little lady dodos out there, I'll pull one for you. You'd like that, yes.
(Dodo flaps wings, squawks, bounces up and down enthusiastically.)]
During the filming of Walt Disney's Real-Life Adventures of Daisy, the Delectable Dodo:
NARRATOR: It's Dreadful Dennis, the neighbourhood wise guy. And boy, what a show-off. [But despite her seeming indifference -
(Dodo-suited Tim kicks dodo-suited Bill in the crotch)
NARRATOR: Delectable Daisy knows deep down inside that old dame nature has it all sewn up. Pretty soon she and Dennis are going to be at it like knives.]
TIM: All right, where is it?
(Dodo flings itself at him.)
BILL: Get off him, get off him, get off him! [You dirty little bird! He's sex-mad, he is! Oy, now listen. I did not get you a mate, and it's just Tim!
TIM: Get off, get off!
BILL: You're lucky. He's not fussy!]
#59, Scoutrageous - 2 cuts.
TIM: On the other hand, he never has any unclean thoughts and if he does, he immediately takes a cold shower!
(All Scouts take cold showers)
[BILL: Flipping heck!
TIM: A Scout is always clean of mouth. He is fond of his uniform and he likes his silly hat. He does not indulge in woggle jokes such as 'Have you seen his woggle?' 'No, but it's a good trick if he can do it!'
(All Scouts take cold showers)
TIM: A Scout does not think much of girls, preferring as he does the manly comradeship of his chums. He is kindly to little boys and cubs-
(All Scouts' hands steal towards their shower chains)
TIM: On the other hand, he is not a raving poofter, oh no! A Scout does not wear make-up, except of course at the Gang Show, where, of course, he can also wear women's clothes which he enjoys very, very much!
(All Scouts take cold showers)
TIM: Dib dib dib!
SCOUTS: Dob dob dob!
TIM: The meeting is closed.
BILL: Let's go to the pub!
(Bill and Graeme laugh.)
(Bill and Graeme take cold showers).]
During Tim's discussion of the Scouting badges, right after the 'Wig-Spotter's Badge'.
[TIM: Or your Initiative Badge. Stealing a pair of Margaret Thatcher's bloomers?!
Shot of Margaret Thatcher talking at a conference. A Scout hat is seen over the top of the table sneaking towards her. There are several peculiar mechanical noises. A pair of large knickers is held aloft on a stick to a triumphant fanfare. There is a shot of the other conference members sitting behind Mrs Thatcher applauding.
TIM: You were making those badges up!
GRAEME and BILL: Yes.
TIM: Well - it was shameful!
GRAEME: Oh, come on, Brown Ale.
GRAEME: They were merely boyish pranks. Anyway, that's the way to get new recruits.
BILL: That's right. I've still got a gap there. I'm going for my
Cheering Up Lonely Young Housewives Whose Husbands Are Away At Work badge.
TIM: You are not! You've brought shame to the whole platoon, haven't they lads! Margaret Thatcher's knickers! Whatever next?
BILL: Angela Rippon's suspender belt!
(Produces suspender belt and waves it about. All Scouts take cold showers.)
TIM: Don't you ever say that again! Angela Rippon's suspender belt. Oh! (Takes cold shower)]
Looking back over the ABC censorship, it's interesting to note that the odd-numbered seasons of The Goodies appear to have suffered more at the hands of the censors than the even-numbered series; this is probably because the 'sex and violence' would be toned down for one series and then creep back in for the next.
Many thanks to Nick McCarthy for reminding me that the episodes from 'Stone Age' through to 'Clown Virus' had five minutes excised from them to make space for the 1993 Cycling Classic during the last repeat run on the ABC. This fact was overlooked because my comparison was done using copies of these episodes from a prior ABC screening. Nick also reminded me that during the last ABC repeat run 'Dodonuts' had extra footage cut to make way for the 'World Aids Day Message'. This could account for the extraordinary amount of footage missing from this episode, where the nine cuts total nearly two minutes. In fact, 'Dodonuts' holds the record for the most censored Goodies episode run on the ABC, with 'Scoutrageous' (where the two large cuts totalled a minute and fifty-two seconds) a very close second.
So what does all this mean for the Goodies fan who has longed for a complete run of uncut episodes in their collection? The video releases from the Beeb are less than satisfactory and it seems unlikely that the ABC will be screening the episodes in the near future (and even if they do they will most likely be the same cut versions we have been seeing for years). Foxtel have certainly come to the Goodies fan's rescue (for those that can receive it). The Foxtel run has included the black and white episodes (with the exception of 'Caught in the Act') and the elusive episodes 'The Baddies' and 'Hype Pressure'. However, 'Kitten Kong' was not included and we are still waiting for 'Earthanasia', which appears to have been missed through error. I should also point out that although Foxtel screened a cut version of 'The Stolen Musicians' during their first run, during the second it was played intact (!!!).
Unfortunately it now appears that 'Kitten Kong' is considered a "special" by the Beeb and so, along with 'Superstar', 'Goodies and the Beanstalk' and 'Goodies Rule O.K.?', is not offered in the standard package of episodes. The ABC did not screen 'Kitten Kong' during their last repeat run either, claiming that they didn't have access to the episode. (Thanks to Nick McCarthy for this information). We are getting closer, but are not quite there yet.
4. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ
by David McAnally <firstname.lastname@example.org>
THE CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY FOOTLIGHTS CLUB
The Goodies began their comedy careers as members of The Cambridge University Footlights Club, a society that puts on a comedy revue each year in May Week. So test your knowledge of our fave three’s Footlights experiences.
1: In what way was Graeme's initial acceptance, as a member, into the Footlights Club different to usual?
2: Which Goodies were Presidents of the Cambridge University Footlights Club during their undergraduate years?
3: Which Goodies were initially responsible for Eric Idle's admission into the Cambridge University Footlights Club as a member?
ANSWERS TO LAST MONTH’S QUESTIONS
1. Which Goody is mentioned in both of the following Monty Python books: "Monty Python's Big Red Book" and "The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok"?
2. Which Goody appeared in a trailer for "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?
ANSWER: Graeme. The trailer shows Graeme and Terry Jones in medieval clothes, in what looks like it could have come out of an Ingmar Bergman movie - apart, that is, from the custard pie which Terry Jones pushes into Graeme's face! (This scene would appear to have been taken from either "Twice a Fortnight" or "Broaden Your Mind".)
3. In which book, by a Monty Python member, was there a fictitious attempt by the Goodies to do their own version of "The Holy Grail"?
ANSWER: "Rutland Dirty Weekend Book", by Eric Idle.
4. While at Cambridge University, which Goody swapped lecture notes with which Monty Python member?
ANSWER: Tim swapped notes with John Cleese at Cambridge University - where they both studied Law.
NOTE ON THE ANSWER TO APPEARING IN LAST MONTH’S NEWSLETTER
The answer which appeared in last month’s newsletter, to the question “In 1975 The Goodies released their hit single “The Funky Gibbon”. What was the highest position it reached in the British charts?” could be incorrect. The answer given last month was Number 4, which I got from Comedy Review magazine #1. But in “Bill Oddie’s Gone Birding”, Bill wrote that the highest position “The Funky Gibbon” reached was Number 2, on the Hit Parade. Excuse my ignorance, but is the Hit Parade the same as the charts? Perhaps someone from the UK could help me out here? <email@example.com>
5. DID YOU KNOW?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE TRANDEM?
from Matthew K Sharp <firstname.lastname@example.org>
“Apparently it was bought at a props auction in 1984 by a chap called Hugo Spowers. It was then ridden from South Africa to London in 1989 by Spower's brother Rory for a fund-raiser; and in 1993 Rory and Bill Oddie rode it from the mouth of the Ganges River to the source in the Himalayas. This latter was filmed for television”.
Thanks to Daniel Frankham <email@example.com> who informed me that a book of the trip has also been released called “Three Men On A Bike”, written by Rory Spowers with a foreword by Bill Oddie. You can order it by visiting:
It costs £9.99. For those who’d like to order it from elsewhere, the ISBN number is 0 86241 542 X.
Well that’s another C&G written....Y’know, I was thinking the other day, what would The Goodies satirise in the 90s? After all they did some brilliant send ups of Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Evita, Margaret Thatcher, the punk phenomena and even A Clockwork Orange, in the 70s. How about a send up of The Adventures of Priscilla - Queen of the Desert, with Tim as Adam (Guy Pearce’s character), Graeme as Tick (Hugo Weaving’s character) and Bill as Bernadette (Terence Stamp’s character)? Anyone got any more?
Finally, a very Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you all.
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1996). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com.