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C&G 39 Mar 1999
#39 Mar 1999 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 06/10/2006

Index

» #39 Mar 1999

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
.
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 39                12th March 1999
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
ACTING EDITOR:   
Brett Allender.           
 
ACE REPORTER:    
Alison Bean.  
 
SUPER SPOTTER:   
David Balston.           
 
QUIZ MASTER:                   
David McAnally.       
 
CONTRIBUTORS:   Brett O'Callaghan, Duncan Lilly, Andy Williamson, Ian Cleve, Patte Rudik
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES #14 - Kitten Kong & #15- Wicked Waltzing.
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW – Wild Thing.
5. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ - More Goodies brain teasers.
6: THE END
 
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. Mail bretta@wimmera.com.au or carrot@oztek.net.au with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
GOODIES T-SHIRTS FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU ...
 
 
Just a reminder that you can now order your very own Goodies T-shirt via The Goodies Rule OK. Visit one of the above websites for ordering details and to see what it looks like.
 
 
PRESIDENT OF THE EMPIRE
 
Who cares about the presidential pecadillos in the Oval Office or the prospect of Australia becoming a republic with a Prez of our own, so that pretty young interns can be invited to sit on the presidential staff! Not us folks at the C&G anyway, for the headline news is that our very own Goodies Rule OK Prez, Alison Bean, has been interviewed by the "Empire Times" student magazine at Flinders University in Adelaide about the prestige and privelege of being "the Queen of the Goodies scene".
This splendid interview will appear in issue 2 of the "Empire Times", which will be out on the 24th March, and copies will be available all over the Flinders Uni campus (especially in the toilets if they run out of copies of the "Radio Times" .... sorry Prez!).
 
It seems as though this literary success has already gone to Alison's head though, as her latest quote was "Today the Empire Times, tomorrow the world!" followed by lots of wicked eye-rolling. We're just hoping that a few off-key chants of "You're a megalomaniac!" will be enough to bring her to her senses!
 
 
70's NOSTALGIA WEEKEND
 
On the 27th and 28th of this month, Multiverse is presenting a 70's TV nostalgia weekend in Melbourne. Highlights include the chance to meet Richard Hatch from "Battlestar Galactica" and other guests include sci-fi authors Richard Hanley ("The Metaphysics Of Star Trek"), Sara Douglass and Sean McMullen. But how is this relevant to Goodies fans?
 
Well, not only will you be able to buy the club's own Goodies T-shirts without postage costs, you can also pick up copies of Brett Allender's "Goodies Episode Summaries" for only $20 AND you have the chance to bid for autographed Goodies memorabilia in the Charity Auction on the Saturday afternoon. You can also find out what Brett, Tracey and Alison really look like (won't that be a treat?), as we'll all be there to spread the Goodies vibe and run the club's merchandising table.
 
The following information was kindly forwarded to us from Derek Screen, Convention Co-Chair:
 
MULTIVERSE PRESENTS A WEEKEND CONVENTION WITH RICHARD HATCH
(Apollo from Battlestar Galactica)
 
Celebrating 20 years of Battlestar Galactica and a look back at 20 years of Science fiction from 1979 - 1999
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Multiverse is proud to announce a very special convention this March 27 - 28 to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Battlestar Galactica. To help us celebrate we have managed to convince the Galactica's Captain Apollo - Richard Hatch - to put his flight jacket on and join us here in Melbourne for the weekend.
 
Richard will be taking part in a LOT of activities whilst here, including the usual Guest of Honour talks, Q&A's autograph sessions, and more. He will be taking part in our panels - including the usual chocolate breakfast panel, and our Saturday night Trivia competition and Pizza Feast!!
 
Richard will also have the latest information of the rebirth of Battlestar Galactica including footage from the new trailer and the new Battle flight jacket!!
 
On Saturday night, we will be running a Trivia contest and a pizza feast. For $5 extra, you can take part in this night - pigout on pizza and form a team and take part in a trivia quiz ranging from Star Trek to Animation, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica B5 and lots more.
 
Richard is however, only part of the reason to attend this Multiverse Convention. We are using this weekend to have a retrospective look at the past 20 years of Science fiction from UFO to B5, Space 1999 to Star Trek Voyager, and lots more.
 
On the Sunday, there will be a writers forum with some of Australia's foremost authors including SARA DOUGLASS, KATE JACOBY, PAUL COLLINS, and SEAN McMULLEN.
 
There will be a video program of classic (and not so classic) SF and as part of the retrospective, instead of an Internet room, this time, for Saturday only, we will have a room full of computers with which you can play classic computer and video games. Apple II's, Amigas, Commodore 64's and VIC 20's, Segas and lots more. If you wish, you can bring along your own system and add it to our collection.
 
The convention will be at the Edmund Barton Centre in Moorabbin Victoria and the costs will be $60 for the weekend, $5 for the Trivia night and pizza pigout, or you can come along for Sat only for $40 or Sunday only for $35.
 
For further information and a booking form, check out the Multiverse web
page at:
multivrs@vicnet.net.au     or send a stamped self addressed envelope to
Multiverse, PO Box 355 World Trade Centre, Melbourne, VIC, 3005.
 
 
GOODIES CONVENTION MEETING
 
At the time of going to press, we haven't yet been furnished with a detailed program of the Multiverse weekend, so we are yet to set an exact time for a meeting to plan our own Kitten Con convention for Easter 2000. Details about the time and location of this meeting will be sent out in a separate "prune flash" in the very near future.
 
 
RUN RIOT! IT'S TIME FOR THE ADVERT!
 
<starburst>
 
Riot Act is a new Australia-wide comedy fanzine which covers not only British and Australian comedy shows but also promotes and reviews live theatre throughout Australia. Our first issue, due in March 1999, is set to feature the up and coming Melbourne International Comedy Festival, as well as reviews from the recent Sydney Festival.
 
Anyone interested in subscribing to Riot Act should send us either an SAE (for Australian subscribers) or IRC (overseas subscribers) and we will forward them an application form. The cost of a yearly subscription is A$12 for Australians and A$15 for overseas members, which will entitle them to 4 issues and a personalised membership card.
 
For further information and subscriptions, please write to:
Riot Act
P.O. Box 10
CHADSTONE VIC 3148
 
or email: RiotActInfo@yahoo.com
 
<starburst>
 
We now, unfortunately, return you to your C&G. The sooner they get rid of this silly newsletter the better, it ruins the commercials!
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail bretta@wimmera.com.au or carrot@oztek.net.au with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
 
TIM THE LADYKILLER
 
Tim's latest starring role is in a stage version of "The Ladykillers", in which he plays the challenging character of Professor Marcus. The tour dates for "The Ladykillers" are as follows:
 
4th-27th March, Mercury Theatre, Colchester.
29th March - 3rd April, Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton.
5th April, The Opera House, Buxton.
12th April, Gordan Craig Theatre, Stevenage.
26th April to 1st May, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford.
3rd May, Theatre Royal, Plymouth.
10th May, His Majesty's Theatre, Aberdeen.
17th May, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne.
24th May, Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury.
31st May, Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham.
7th June, Richmond Theatre, Richmond.
14-19th June, The Hexagon, Reading.
22nd June, Grand Theatre, Blackpool.
28th June, Connaught Theatre, Worthing.
5th July, Lyceum Theatre, Crewe.
12th July, Civic Theatre, Parlington.
19th July, Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-On-Sea.
26th July, Theatre Royal, Bath.
 
Further information on the play, including on-line booking procedures, can be obtained from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/guide.html or http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/2934/guide.html
We even have it on good authority from the outspoken, forthright backbench MP Sir Reginald Wheelbarrow that "this play is perfectly harmless and innocent. I give it my seal of approval and hope that everybody goes to see it!", so if it's good enough for Reggie Boy, it's certainly good enough for our many British members to go along and support Tim.
 
 
MURDER MOST HORRIDLY GRAYBUNGLED
 
Graeme Garden will be appearing in the Dawn French comedy series - 'Murder Most Horrid' at 9pm Friday 19th March on BBC2. He will be appearing as Alex Docherty and the Radio Times says he will be the entire staff at the Nutley Chronicle.
 
TASTEFUL TIM AND KENNY
 
The new BBC video 'Kenny Everett - In the Best Possible Taste' includes a sketch with Tim - beware though, there seems to be lots of defective tapes on sale.
 
 
ASSAULTED NUTS TO YOU!
 
"Assaulted Nuts" (featuring Tim) airs on the Canadian Comedy Network, Sunday mornings at 8:30, with an "instant repeat" at 2:30pm. Thanks to Patte Rudik, prudik@hotmail.com for providing this information.
 
 
TODAY'S TIM DAY
 
Tim has made a return to 'Today's the Day', where he frequently appears on their celebrity challenges, to launch the new series. The episodes went out from 15th Feb to 19th Feb 1999 on BBC2 at 5.30pm.
 
 
IN CONVERSATION WITH ...... TIM AND GRAEME.
 
BBC Radio 4 are recording a new show called "In Conversation With" which features Paul Jackson (BBC Controller of Light Entertainment) talking to Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden. The show will be recorded at the BBC Radio Theatre at Broadcasting House in Portland Place, near Oxford Circus tube station, on Friday 19th March at 12.45pm. Many club members have already taken the opportunity to send in a range of questions via President Alison, so we can look forward to hearing some interesting answers.
 
Tickets available from 08700 100 400, by e-mailing radio.ticket.unit@bbc.co.uk or by sending an SAE to
 
Radio Ticket Unit,
BBC,
London,
W1A 4WW.
 
Check out their site at http://www.bbc.co.uk/tickets
 
 
BIRDMAN BILL ON THE WEB
 
Ian Cleve  has earned his Initiative Badge this month, not by stealing a pair of Margaret Thatcher's bloomers, but by spotting an excellent web site for the "Birding With Bill Oddie" program which can be found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/education/birding .
 
The site features highlights of the various locations that the show has visited in the U.K. and other countries, a beginners guide to birdwatching, a quiz section and contacts for obtaining further information. Most interesting of all though is a lengthy "question and answer" section where people can send in queries and Bill's answers are eventually put up on the web page. It seems to be strictly about birding however, as there are no mentions of The Goodies in any of the questions or in his answers. We just might have to ask him some loaded questions about the last remaining dodo ("Was it going cheap?" "No it was going ERRRKKK!!") if that's the case!
 
 
IT'S I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN ... AGAIN ... IN AUSTRALIA!
 
There are repeats of "classic" comedy shows being broadcast at 5.30am each weekday on ABC Radio National from February 1st onwards. These include some episodes of the much-loved "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie, Jo Kendall, David Hatch and a ranting John Otto Cleese on each Tuesday (ie Feb 2nd, 9th, 16th etc). Other shows being repeated are Hancock's Half Hour (Mondays), My Word (Wednesdays), My Music (Thursdays) and The Goons (Fridays). Thanks to Brett O'Callaghan for providing this useful information.
 
 
'IF I RULED THE WORLD' IS BACK FOR ANOTHER SERIES
 
The second series of 'If I Ruled The World' (starring Graeme Garden as a regular panelist) is being recorded from 'Thursday 4th February to 26th March 1999.
Tickets are available from Hat-Trick at this web page http://www.hattrick.co.uk/tickets/ticketlist.cgi  or by phoning on 0171 287 1598 and recordings take place at 'The London Studios' (LWT) near Waterloo station.
 
'If I Ruled the World' is being broadcast on Monday nights starting on Monday 8th February at 10pm on BBC2. Guests on the first show were Rebecca Front and Tony Hawks. The series will comprise of eight episodes, two more than last year's and will get a Saturday repeat.
 
Already there has been a reference to The Goodies in one of the episodes. An audience member referred to the genetically modified food debate now raging in the UK when he asked the panel "Does the big white cat that appeared in the classic 1970's comedy series The Goodies prove that GM food has been around for decades?"
Graeme Garden replied "I think it proves that gullible members of the public have been around for decades!"
 
 
TIM INTERVIEWED ON CEEFAX
 
Our British Super Spotter David Balston and his intrepid deputy Duncan Lilly were separately skimming through the BBC teletext service Ceefax on February 27th and found the following interview with Tim. Being the nice folks that they are, they both typed up and sent in a copy for us. The interview may seem a little disjointed due to it being split over 6 teletext pages, as it was seemingly designed so it could be read starting from any page. As such, the main information is often repeated, especially the use of the word "veteran" no less than four times!! Are they trying to say something?! "Poor raddled old veteran" Timbo just might have to go around and eckythump a few of those cheeky "young 'uns" with a black pudding if they are!
 
Ceefax, Page 579, Saturday 27th February, 1999
Interview by Lucie Maguire
 
Stage Role For Ex-Goodie Brooke-Taylor
 
Comedy veteran Tim Brooke-Taylor - best known as one of The Goodies - admits his latest role, in a stage version of The Ladykillers, is a bit daunting. The versatile actor plays the role of Professor Marcus - made famous by Alec Guinness in the 1955 Ealing comedy film.
"I just play it my way", Brooke-Taylor told Ceefax. "But I don’t think people who love the film will be disappointed"
"The play’s an ensemble piece, and it has a wonderfully ambitious set."
 
Comedy Veteran Recalls Late Derek Nimmo
 
Ex-Goodies star Tim Brooke-Taylor has happy memories of working with the late Derek Nimmo, with the latter in his less well-known role as producer. Brooke-Taylor, set to tour Britain in a stage version of The Ladykillers., went on several tours "from Beijing to Mexico City" organised by Nimmo.
"He was enormous fun and incredibly knowledgeable," recalls Brooke-Taylor fondly. "And as an impresario, he provided a great deal of work for an enormous number of actors."
 
Actor Looks Back On Comedy Revolution
 
"Ladykillers" star Tim Brooke-Taylor is one of a generation of performers credited with the comedy revolution that began in Britain in the 1960’s. His 1962 debut in the ground-breaking Cambridge Footlights teamed him with fellow Goodies-to-be Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden, and Monty Python’s John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Eric Idle.
"With The Goodies, we wanted the whole family audience," he explains.
"We were like the Beatles, whereas Monty Python were like the Rolling Stones."
 
"Come On BBC!" Says Tim Brooke-Taylor
 
Comedy veteran Tim Brooke-Taylor admits he’s "slightly puzzled" as to why the BBC has never repeated the landmark series "The Goodies". The actor hastens to add that he’s not bitter - but he reckons the antics of the three intrepid Goodies would appeal to today’s teens and 20-somethings.
"And people who saw it when they were children (nearly 80 episodes were made between 1970 and 1980) would get all the references they missed originally."
 
Comedy Needs Time To Develop Says Tim
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor, whose varied career includes over 30 years as part of the "I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue" team on BBC R4, laments the old days of comedy.
"Comedy talent used to be nursed by the BBC," recalls the star of landmark 70’s series The Goodies. "They allowed us to develop. Now they tend to play safe." But the Derbyshire-born actor cites the BBC series Goodness Gracious Me and Alan Partridge as proof that comedy is still alive and well on British TV.
 
Ex-Goodie Takes Ealing Comedy On Tour
 
The veteran comic, writer and performer - and ex-Goodie - Tim Brooke-Taylor is touring British theatres from Aberdeen to Southend with a new stage version of classic Ealing comedy The Ladykillers. The tour starts with a month’s run at the Mercury Theatre, Colchester on March 1st (Tel: 01206-573-948)
Other dates include: Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton; Buxton Opera House; Gordon Craig Theatre, Stevenage; and Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury.
 
 
AND EVEN MORE OF THE FAX OF LIFE .....
 
Hot on the heels of the above interview comes a second teletext featuring Tim, this time on the "TV Plus" service of ITV. Many thanks to another of our expert British spotters, Andy Williamson for taking the time to transcribe it for our enjoyment.
 
ITV Teletext, Page 125, Tuesday 2nd March, 1999
Interview by Victor Olliver
 
Tim Rages At Beeb Over The Goodies Ban
 
Comic TV actor Tim Brooke-Taylor has slammed the BBC for its refusal to show repeats of The Goodies
The cult hit '70s comedy series starred Tim, Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden. They made 80 shows together.
 
Tim tells TV Plus: "I am astonished and annoyed that the BBC ignore The Goodies - they've lost the plot.
"In Australia the show is a huge hit - and has precisely the kind of audience the BBC is looking for now."
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor is still annoyed that fans of The Goodies think he, Bill Oddie or Graeme Garden have blocked repeats of the cult hit '70s series. He says: "It's the BBC - they ended the series in the first place and now ignore the pleas of fans for repeats."
"For a long time there was a slightly sneery attitude towards The Goodies at the Beeb. That may change as new people enter the corporation and discover the show."
 
Prince Charles was one of the Goodies' greatest fans - and Tim Brooke-Taylor reveals he planned to be in the show. Tim says: "I told Prince William recently that his father wanted to appear in a Goodies episode about a plague of Rolf Harrises. But he was counselled at Buckingham Palace to change his mind."
"The BBC won't repeat the shows, yet it has released six shows on two videos. Who will ever forget our Funky Gibbon song?"
 
If the BBC needs reminding of the continuing appeal of The Goodies - look at Australia says Tim Brooke-Taylor.
He says: "There are terrific Goodies' fan clubs there. The web sites have pages and pages devoted to us.
"In the year 2000 I'm attending the Goodies' Kitten Kong convention" - named after the 'giant' kitten that padded about the show's model city.
He adds: "I only want the BBC to show the repeats - come on Auntie!"
 
Come on Auntie indeed!! If Tim's rocket doesn't finally persuade the Beeb to rescreen The Goodies for those long-deprived British fans (plus the masses of teenage and early 20's viewers who have never seen the show), then perhaps the last remaining options are either a march on Westminster wielding t' black puddings in an Ecky Thump rebellion (weather permitting, of course!) or the recommissioning of either Kitten Kong or the giant Dougal to flatten BBC headquarters again! Such activities would probably get us locked away in H.M.Prison for a 22 year stint (though I'm sure that we'd discover the "Royal Flush" exit a bit quicker than the Goodies did!), but all of the publicity generated would be just boffo for the convention, no doubt!
 
And Tim, we will be delighted to host you at "Kitten Con" next year, though you might find that things have changed a bit since you were last "in Australia" to capture Rolf Harris in the "Scatty Safari" episode. The "outback" doesn't look nearly as lush and green as it did back then (and never has before or since actually!), platform shoes have finally just gone out of fashion for our "fair dinkum" sheilas (or are they back in style again now - blowed if I know!), and Rolf isn't even wobbleboarding around these parts any more - you've got to put up with him over therein the U.K. nowadays (definitely Australia's best export, we say!). At least our koalas still fall out of trees (albeit on their own accord when they get stoned on eucalyptus oil from gumleaves!) and Graeme's Kerry Thwacker impersonation from "A Kick In The Arts" is still as appallingly and appropriately accurate as ever too! However if our British visitors to the convention speak like Kerry and we Aussies do our best (?!) Eddie Waring impressions in retaliation, then it will be like the slave trader's bus trip in "Alternative Roots" - no-one will have a clue of what anyone else is talking about! Chaos rules OK!
 
 
3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES no 14 & 15
 
by Brett Allender,
 
KITTEN KONG
Series 2 - Episode 7
First screened: 12th November 1971
 
This original 25 minute recording of Kitten Kong appears to no longer exist; certainly not in colour footage, and to date no black and white version has been located in England or Australia.
 
Fortunately the original episode was expanded with additional footage and entered by the BBC into the 1972 Montreux Film Festival, which is the version that has been shown on television ever since.
 
The Kitten Kong - Montreux 72 special is listed as #21 in "The Goodies Episode Guide" by Matthew K.Sharp, as it was put together at the conclusion of the 2nd season. Therefore a full description of Kitten Kong will appear in the C&G in a few months time following episode 2/13 (The Baddies).
 
 
WICKED WALTZING
Series 2 - Episode 8
First screened: 19th November 1971
 
(Black & White Episode)
 
PLOT
 
Tim happily watches the 'Come Dancing' show on TV, but Bill and Graeme almost fall asleep from the utter boredom of it. Things liven up considerably when an entire dancing team collapses in the semi-final and are found to have been doped, with the Goodies called in to investigate. The Penelope Fay formation dancing team is supposed to be contesting the final next week, but most of their dancers have also been got at too. Therefore the Goodies are offered payment by Penelope to be part of her new dancing team to take on the devious Delia Capone and her corrupt team in next week's final.
 
Tim and Bill try to learn some dance steps using an instruction kit by the poofy Lionel Bleeaah, but end up in a Twister-like tangled embrace, with Tim shrieking "I am a woman!" to the horror of Graeme who has just walked in the door. Graeme solves their dancing problems by developing special radio controlled dancing suits which automatically take the steps for them and (masquerading as boring bank tellers) they are soon ready to dance with their extremely stupid partners, who are all hair artistes named Norma.
 
Just prior to the dance, Delia Capone and her hoods mosey in and attempt to bribe the Goodies to take a dive before offering them glasses of bright green milk from their violin cases. The Goodies are too noble to be bribed (although Bill pays a high price for this nobility!) and take to the floor dancing impeccably with the help of their special suits. Delia's dancers are very ordinary, but keep making offers to the judges that they can't refuse to ensure maximum points and after several dances, the scores are still even.
 
Delia catches Graeme adjusting the control box for the suits and steals it, changes the settings and sends the Goodies dancing madly all over the place (to the tune of 'Baby Face') before she detonates the box, suits and Goodies in a wild fit of rage. The contest is still a draw, so Penelope only gives them half the money (tearing the bundle of notes down the middle) before Delia bursts in and reveals Penelope's true identity as Peaches Stilletto the ballroom shark. Peaches tearfully admits that she has exploited the Goodies and wails that no bank would take back a clapped-out dancer, but she refuses to pack it in because she makes a lot of money from it.
 
Delia demands a dance-off at dawn with her boys in a fight to the death with Peaches' 'girls'. A ravishing Tim struts around, then stomps on her opponents foot before a busty Bill scores a KO with a low blow. The ladies formation team then belts the tripe out of Delia's lads in the final round, which sends her into another berserk tantrum and puts her out of business for good. The Goodies have suffered a heavy physical toll (as Tim puts a chicken on his black eye because the butcher was out of steak!), however they have returned ballroom dancing to its former healthy, wholesome and utterly boring state. At least they think so, until they turn on the TV and see dancers wrestling and punching each other, while a change of channels shows two rugged wrestlers in tutus waltzing together arm in arm!
 
CLASSIC QUOTES
 
* Bill (in reply to Lionel Bleeah's poofy dance instructions): "Yeah we're ready, you camp old boot!"
 
* Tim: "I thought ballroom dancing was so beautiful and pure."
Peaches Stilletto: "Pure! (laughs madly) It's a ratrace, it's hard, it's tough and it's oh so lonely. God it's lonely. Those aren't people out there, they're bank clerks!"
 
CLASSIC SCENES
 
* Delia Capone telling the Goodies to take a dive or "you might have a little accident", then pouring her drink into the front of Bill's pants. The look on his face is a priceless mix of amusement, embarrassment and presumably discomfort!
 
* The speeded up dance sequence when Delia is messing with the control box, which sees the Goodies impersonating kangaroos and a pinball machine before crashing through the wall and dancing with a policeman and mailbox. Delia chucks a wobbly and slams the control box into the wall, causing the Goodies and their suits to erupt in a huge explosion as they dance out of control down the street. (Note: The end part of this scene appears in colour as part of the opening theme clips during the series, along with the shot of dancing with the mailbox)
 
GUEST STARS
 
Joan Sims, June Whitfield, Roland MacLeod, William Jenner, Wendy Hillhouse, Linda Hotchkin, Bebe Robson, The Frank & Peggy Spencer Penge Formation Team
 
MOCK ADVERTISEMENTS
 
Wilmington Sword Razors, Dogginosh Dog Food
 
MY 2 CENTS WORTH
 
Another long-lost episode which has resurfaced on pay-tv recently, although only in black and white footage. A good sendup, helped by the corny but amusing waltzing mafia characters who add a bit of life to the otherwise boring ballroom.
 
RATING
 
III Goody Goody Yum Yum
 
BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM
 
IIIII                 Superstar
IIII                  Officially amazing
III                    Goody goody yum yum
II                     Fair-y punkmother
I                       Tripe on t' pikelets
 
*********************************************
Whack the diddle-o blue! Pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off ya billabongs 'coz THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES book is hot off the presses! Even thicker than the SleepalongaMax volume 98 record collection and far easier to comprehend than Eddie Waring's rugby scores, THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES is jam packed with gibbon-loads of Goody things such as:
* detailed summaries for each of the 75 episodes of the show (including fully revised versions of the first 10 summaries printed in the newsletters)
* the lyrics of some classic Goodies songs.
* heaps of cool photos from actual episodes and publicity sessions.
* an episode guide/contents page and signed author's introduction.
* alphabetical indexes of guest stars, songs and mock advertisements.
Each book is spiral bound with a plastic cover and costs $20 plus postage.
More information can be obtained from
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/2934/summary.html  and details of how to place orders can be obtained by e-mailing Brett Allender at bretta@wimmera.com.au All profits from the book will go towards the staging of Kitten Con, our Goodies Convention in 2000. So why not be a sport and do yourself and the club a favour by ordering your copy of THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES today. You know it makes sense!
*********************************************
 
 
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
 
WHO?
 
Last month's hosts My-kill Carcasson and Venisona Redgravy have marched off (in step to "I Am A Carnivore" with lots of chomp-chomp-chomping as they go) to the BBC studios for an interview on the Rabid Frost program, where it's highly likely that they will take the opportunity of eating, er ... meeting his guests, particularly the rabbit ruler of the Animal Revolutionary Party. This will probably necessitate them dressing up as rabbits themselves to escape the outraged animal audience, so we can only hope that they remember to just let "Bell-amy" tear up the whole bloody countryside this time instead of wasting time looking for him, and not to sniff at any pretty flowers unless they want to be pistil-whipped (a botanist's joke - bloomin' awful!) and carted off to hos-petal! (It's thyme to leaf, thank you very mulch!)
Anyway we now cross to our demented DJ's GRRRaeme GRRRden (AKA Brett Allender) and Mildred Make-Everything-Groovy, AaH (AKA Alison Bean) for their review of WILD THING by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
It was performed live in the Goodies Rule - OK special and this version appears on the "Yum Yum -The Very Best Of The Goodies" CD (released in 1997) and on the 70's albums "The New Goodies LP", "The Goodies Greatest", and "The Goodies Greatest Hits as well as on a single (with Nappy Love on the flip side). Perhaps the more famous version though was the one which appears at the end of the Goodies - Almost Live concert episode, although this doesn't seem to have been used on any of the albums.
 
WHAT?
 
GRRRaeme & Mildred: Since The Troggs first wowed the world with Wild Thing back in the sixties, there have been stacks of different cover versions (including one by an Australian country music band with the theme music from "Bonanza" in the instrumental break just for something different!), however it's unlikely that any of these efforts have come within a giant beanstalk of the two ripsnorting renditions by the Goodies. They start off by performing to a crowd of screaming, hysterical, stripping, dope smoking coppers at Wembley Stadium (as the police presence is so great that nobody else can get in!) in the Goodies Rule OK special, then graduate to an audience of more civilised (but less tastefully dressed) groupies in the Goodies Almost Live concert, but the magic ingredients are the same: Graeme's menacing "Grrrr" noises, Tim's cries of "Let me hold you tight ... not quite that tight!", Bill's super singing and plaintive wailing and the heavy thrashing rhythm, which makes it an absolute classic. Friends and relatives who wouldn't know a Goodie from a Gumby have agreed that it's the best cover yet, so that's good enough for us!
 
WHY?
 
GRRRaeme: Why indeed, as it's one of the very few Goodies songs not written by a certain scruffy, hairy, frustrated little pop star with the initials Bill Oddie. In fact, in the sleevenote of the CD, Bill himself writes that the Goodies version of Wild Thing is a tribute to Jimi Hendrix and rumour has it that the vomit which Jimi choked on was induced by him hearing Tim's invitation to "Come on and hold me tight!". "You bitch!", as a tarted-up Tim said in the Movies episode! In fact Tim's walk to the audience in the Almost Live concert and similar invitation to a pretty young lass in the front row drew neither vomit, tears or laughter, but acute embarrassment, and the policemen were only too happy to hold him tight in Goodies Rule OK, so perhaps a better question is "who were they singing it for?" Who was this wild sexy gal who caused Tim to utter "Oh I'm moved, completely moved ... aaaahh"? Perhaps it could have been tatty go-go dancer Doris Newbold who was a "great little mover" according to Bill, though mainly because she worked for Pickfords! Or maybe it was Mrs Desiree Carthorse who was very wild when charging down the street telling everyone to "Stop it!", though the only way that she would hold Tim tight would have been by a choker hold around his neck! So we can only assume that their "wild thing" was the scruffy cleaning lady in the back row of the Almost Live concert, as she was the only person remaining in the audience at the completion of Bill's final despairing wail, and as she bore an uncanny resemblance to one of "t' delicate ladies of t' temple" of Ecky Thump, she could surely wield a mean black pudding if the Goodies got too wild with her!
 
Mildred: 'Funky Gibbon' may have gone to number 4, but it was never going to be a timeless rock classic like 'Stairway To Heaven', 'Smoke On The Water' or 'Itsy Bitsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini'. And legendary British DJ John Peel agreed or so the story goes - he reportedly "slagged" 'Funky Gibbon', The Goodies, in reply, allegedly "bashing him one". Whether this really happened, though, is irrelevant, because what The Goodies needed if they wanted to go down in rock history was something harder, something definitive and being The Goodies, something funny. "Wild Thing" turned out to be just that something. With the literal mindedness of any pun-touting comedy group, they played, rather than sang about, the three essential elements of the legendary song - Graeme, taking inspiration from his own sideburns, was the wild thing ("Grrrr"), Tim, legendary for coming across like Doris Day and singing like Minnie Mouse, was perfect as the heart singing ("Ah ah ah") and Bill, who's always been one for the birds(*), was the one who made things "grrrooovvyyy". And how grrrooovvyyy it was! If you didn't think The Goodies could be sexy, you were right, but they had a good time trying and even though people weren't exactly rioting to get near them, things were still pretty riotous; Tim daringly flashing his ankle AND sock suspendor at an unwary audience member must go down in history as the funniest rock star/audience member come on before Barry Manilow attempted to go the snog live on stage at Wembley and got his nose stuck in the unfortunate victim's mullet hairdo. What may have seemed to be just another cover of Wild Thing perhaps became the definitive version of the song and I can pay it no higher compliment than to quote those immortal lines "Wild Thing, I think I love you."
 
(* I know! It's the Bill Oddie/bird/woman joke again. Look, it had to be done, OK?)
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Ratings System:
 
MUSIC: GRRRaeme: IIIII Superstar; Mildred: IIIII Superstar
 
SINGING/LYRICS: GRRRaeme: IIIII Superstar; Mildred: IIIII Superstar
 
HUMOUR: GRRRaeme: IIII Officially Amazing; Mildred: IIIII Superstar
 
ALL TOGETHER NOW: GRRRaeme: IIIII Superstar; Mildred: IIIII Superstar
 
* Next month we review "STUFF THAT GIBBON" *
 
 
5. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ
 
by quizmaster David McAnally
 
1: What were the Goodies put into, during "Camelot", when they had the fruit thrown at them?
 
2: How does the following utterance, by Graeme, in "Camelot" finish? 'But, sally forth, we must, my friends, an end to all your nagging, For I have spied a maiden fair, attacked by a ......'?
 
3: When Caroline Kook married the Goodies, in their punk episode, "Rock Goodies", which Goody got which part?
 
4. The Loch Ness Monster has made appearances in two separate Goodies' episodes. "Scotland" was one - what was the other?
 
Answers in next month's edition; meanwhile here are the solutions to last month's quiz questions:
 
1: What did "The Music Lovers" and "For Those In Peril On The Sea" have in common?
 
A: The same baddies (i.e. The Music Master / Nasty Person and his henchman, Gerald), appeared in both episodes as the same characters.
 
2: In "The Goodies and the Beanstalk", the Goodies impersonated three of the Marx Brothers. Which Goody impersonated which Marx Brother?
 
A: Tim impersonated Harpo Marx; Graeme impersonated Groucho Marx; Bill impersonated Chico Marx.
 
3: During which song did the Goodies impersonate the Marx Brothers in "The Goodies and the Beanstalk"?
 
A: "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" (from the film, "High Society").
 
4. There has been evidence of aliens in four of The Goodies episodes. Which were they - and what was the evidence of aliens in each of these episodes?
 
A: "U-Friend or UFO?" - The trombone-playing spaceship; "The End" - The alien Goodies; "The Invasion of the Moon Creatures" - The appearance in space of Dr. Who's Tardis; "Bigfoot" - The alien spacecraft landing and the alien taking on gas from Stonehenge.
 
 
6.THE END
 
Well that's yet another C&G trapped in a 350 foot high block of concrete, so again we'll finish with some material from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (ISIHAC), which features Tim and Graeme as regular panelists, along with Barry Cryer and various guest panelists since Willie Rushton sadly passed away.
 
These were some of the ideas from the panel a couple of years back for "chat up lines for use by the senior citizens":
 
(Barry): "Oh, I see your glass is empty. Mind if I put my teeth in?!"
(Willie): "I say baby, let's lock zimmer frames and rattle 'til we drop!"
(Graeme): (very vaguely) "Hellooo .... Who am I?!"
(Tim): "No, that's a war wound! Fancy a Horlicks?"
(Graeme):"How's ya back?!"
(Willie): "Is that your colostomy bag or are you just pleased to see me?!"
(Barry): "Your sheltered accommodation or  mine?"
(Graeme): "I could take you to a hip joint!"
(Barry): "I want to put my tongue in your ear. Take your      deaf aid out!"
(Graeme ?): "I want to run my fingers through your hair, so pass it over!"
 
And so in the words of ISIHAC chairman Humphrey Lyttelton: "As the flatulent skunk of time wanders into the air conditioning system of eternity, and the piranha fish of fate circles hungrily in the bidet of destiny" , we notice that it's the end of the C&G.
 
Stay tuned for more mayhem on April 12th.
 
The C&G Team.
 
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DISCLAIMER
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1999). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com
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