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C&G 43 Jul 1999
#43 Jul 1999 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 10/10/2006

Index

» #43 Jul 1999

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
.
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 43                12th July 1999
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
Alison Bean.
 
DEPUTY EDITOR:
Brett Allender.
 
ACE REPORTER:
Catherine Sumnall.
. 
QUIZ MASTER:
David McAnally.
 
CONTRIBUTORS:
Lisa Manekofsky and Andrew Pixley.
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. FEATURE ARTICLE - What's In A Name?
4. EPISODE SUMMARY #17 - Women's Lib.
5. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ - The answer!
6. THE END - Tim and Bill's birthdays.
 
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail carrot@oztek.net.au with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
 
VIRTUAL AUCTION
 
Last month's virtual auction went extremely well, with Andrew bidding $Aus700 for the full colour Goodies t-shirt signed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden.
 
This month the club is auctioning off a set of Goodies video covers signed by Tim and Graeme. The bidding starts at $45
to place your bid.
 
 
ADELAIDE VIDEO NIGHT
 
Unfortunately the Adelaide Goodies Video Night which was originally planned for this Friday, 16th July, has had to be postponed until Friday, 30th July.
 
If you have already registered for the 16th and can come on the 30th you do not have to re-register - just turn up! If you have already registered, but can't come, it would be handy if you could let us know - <carrot@oztek.net.au>.
 
If you have not registered, but would like to come, please register at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/video_night.php3
 
A venue has still not been finalised for the event, but we will let those who've registered as soon as possible.
 
 
GOODIES T-SHIRTS
 
The club's Goodies T-Shirts are selling extremely well, but if you do plan to purchase one, it would help us greatly if...
 
* All cheques or money orders are made out to 'Tracey Baird', NOT to The Goodies Rule - OK!
 
* All cheques or money are in Australian dollars.
 
* You include your name, address, e-mail address, the number of t-shirts you want and what sizes you want them in.
 
Details regarding price, sizes and so forth can be found at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/tshirt.html but if you have any questions please e-mail Tracey Baird at her new e-mail address <tra4ce@bigpond.com>.
 
 
A SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - POSTAL MEMBERSHIP AND PETITIONS
 
Club Vice Prez, Brett Allender, is now taking over as Person Who Looks After Postal Membership and Petition. So any enquiries regarding these activities should now be directed to him at <bretta@wimmera.com.au>.
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail carrot@oztek.net.au with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
FOLLOWING THE BIRDMAN
by Catherine Sumnall
 
I entered the airless theatre unconvinced of Bill's ability to add sparkle to the comparatively mundane world of bird-watching. (NB. the comparison is quite obvious really.) My fears were entirely unfounded. I'm so sorry, I thought you'd lost your touch!
 
An endearingly dishevelled Bill shuffled into the theatre in the guise of what the BBC website describes as "...the personification of the Funky Gibbon". That is, plaid shirt, faded jeans and sandals, equipped with a glass of beer on the table alongside him. He began, fairly predictably, by refuting his reputation as Britain's best known twitcher, describing his specialist comrades as "ornithological Quakers". Immediately the show's billing as family entertainment lost some credibility as the 0891 number Birdline was somehow worked in: "A pair of pentiline tits are showing well - hmm, I'll give that a try!"; and was soon to be completely destroyed by a throbbing pager round: "If you ever see a bird watcher with a silly grin on his face you know why!"
 
Anyway, we soon moved into panto-land as the audience's fairly piteous bird impressions sent everyone including Bill into fits of giggles. Imagine a hundred people, about half of whom were serious about the subject chorusing "wobbly, wobbly, wobbly, wah, wah, wah" in an attempt to spark off a flashback: "That got me back about three minutes!". He reminisced about throwing up over his egg collection after sucking out the contents of the egg of an ex-pheasant, and then proceeded to show some Hitchcock-esque slides, one of which read: "Nesting birds please keep on the path". Moving on we performed some more impressions of: "a cross between a high society lady and Frankie Howerd" Ooooh!
 
Who knows what could have occurred during the interval, but somehow a cuddly puffin was introduced into the proceedings, via delving into an innocuous-looking bag with a pair of sturdy leather gloves. Possibly a reference to: "I've never seen a mongoose" "I'll get him out for you. They're lovely creatures, terribly friendly, very good with children"? Once the highly ferocious stuffed toy had been extricated, it was put in its natural habitat of a grassy bank, cunningly portrayed by a chair draped with an off-green jacket. There was a slight connection with "The End": "...the big ones [owls] eat the little ones". He then showed a slide of himself from the series Bird in the Nest: "...big eyes, scruffy little face - owl's quite nice too"
 
Amazingly enough, while the lone Goodies fan would have to be content with searching for tiny plot similarities, the ubiquitous Monty Python never seems to be missed out. Apparently a blue-footed something-or-other has a "John Cleese Silly walk", ably performed by Bill in true "we can all imagine what it looks like...we've seen it often enough" style. It would appear that this particular bird is rather quick: "...it doesn't have an orchestra following it". He then donned an orange wig to do a "Zebedee" dance as he had seen a McGregor's ? do while hiding in a "compost heap" in Papua New Guinea: "it then made mad passionate love and ran off into the jungle - it hasn't worked for me!"
 
Follow That Bird ended all too soon, as Bill steadfastly resisted the lure of our applause after returning for the second time and chuckling: "You can go home now". So we did. As I was leaving, frantically trying to note down everything I'd missed, a young boy passed saying to his parents: "Why did we come and see a show about birds with a stupid, funny man?". Because it's Bill Oddie of course! It was an unjust conclusion about an extremely witty and amusing show, with some wonderfully surreal moments. I only hope his parents took him home and began some sort of brainwashing program. That boy has a future as a critic unless they cure such cynicism soon!
 
 
ODDIE MAN OUT
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
While glancing at my copy of the local North Staffordshire evening paper The Sentinel, I was more than a little shocked to see the caption "I was at Cambridge with The Goodies and I'm bored stiff by talking about them." Stunned, I read on in a state of disbelieving trance:
 
ODD MAN OUT
Talk About Bill's Past? Not Such A Goodie Idea.
by Scott Hamilton - Theatre and Pop music critic.
 
Don't mention it, but this man used to be a member of a successful TV comedy group in the 1970's. Now he's a birdman and can get very twitchy if you forget it...
For a bearded little man with a grating wheezy voice who used to jump around in a gibbon costume on Top of the Pops to start getting precious about his work is hilarious.
Which is a relief because there was a danger nothing funny would come out of this interview at all.
Former Goodie Bill Oddie is touring his bird show - a collection of slides and bird impressions hopefully made a bit more bearable by a bit of humour and wit.
But is it really just about birds. Surely there is more to it than that?
"Yes it is a bird show, you don't need any more to it than that. I could talk about birds for hours, days even weeks so you certainly don't need more than birds for this show."
Things are already cool between us you may sense. Well, in for a penny...
Aren't people going to come along expecting sparkling wit and sketches and leave disappointed with the mating call of the lesser spotted Werblenerfer?
"It's called Follow That Bird and I've already done 50 shows and I've not had much problem."
It's getting decidedly chilly in here. Has Oddie lost his sense of humour since the BBC suggested he front bird shows?
"I've been mad about birds since I was a kid and now it's taken over as a job. I suppose it came along because of the Goodies but within the bird and natural history world I'm perfectly well known. To a certain extent it was at a disadvantage, particularly at the BBC Natural History department, because it could very easily have smacked of some celebrity face being given the job of fronting a bird show without knowing anything about it. But the audience may have been surprised to find it's something I know a great deal about."
That's me told. Oddie claims his interest goes back as far as stealing eggs from nests, although he wouldn't do that now ("I'd get arrested"). Now he wants to entertain the masses with chitter-chatter about birds.
"I don't think people watching these changing your house shows will rush out to Do It All afterwards any more than people watching your show would go and buy some binoculars. You've just got to keep peoples' interest. The audience ranges from people who are interested in the subject to people who just want an entertaining evening out."
But what about the Goodies, tell us about that?
"I was at Cambridge and got together with the Goodies but I'm bored stiff by talking about it. There have been hundreds of books printed and you can get it out of there."
Is he denying his past?
"It's not that I'm not proud of it. We were hugely successful. I don't hate the Funky Gibbon. The only problem I have with it is the implication I should hate it."
Now were talking Frosty the Snowman.
"It made me a lot of money because I wrote the music, and it was great fun. How could you hate being on Top of the Pops surrounded by Pans People giving you an eyeful all the time? But you do get people even now jumping out of bushes at you in the middle of the street and shouting Ooh ooh ooh."
Or reminding you of it in interviews. Which is clearly irritating. Enjoy the show.
 
 
THE LATEST SERIES OF I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
The current series of ISIHAC has just finished, without a mention of when it might return. It finished with an almighty effort, possibly the best of the lot.
 
Tim was aided by the wonderful Jeremy Hardy, who struggled a bit with the musical rounds but was superb in everything else. It's becoming rather satirical with him, in an Unlikely Quotes round he said "The Orange Order: Well, I suppose we don't have to go this way." (NB. A Northern Ireland unionist party, determined to march down a particular road and begin a riot.)
 
Anyway this time we did get a Goodies reference. In the introduction to a round of Car Mechanics' Chat Up Lines, Humph declared that many people often approach Tim saying "Ah, the good looking one from the Goodies...do you know what happened to him?"
 
 
MORNINGTON CRESCENT EXPLAINED...SORT OF
 
by Lisa Manekofsky <ljm@cs.brown.edu>
 
I noticed two new ISIHAC-related books that popped up on Amazon.co.uk.
 
The first book is entitled "The Official History And Rules Of The Game Of Mornington Crescent". The authors are Tim, Graeme, Barry Cryer, and Humphrey Lyttelton. That book isn't available yet as it isn't due to be published until September 23rd, but you can pre-order it.
 
The other is "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue: The Official Limerick Collection", which is due to be published in paperback on September 2nd. That can be pre-ordered too.
 
Editors Note
The above books can both be pre-ordered through the club's Amazon.co.uk outlet at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/amznshop.html  - remember, if you buy through us part of the money you spend will go towards the convention fund.
 
 
SOME OF OUR CLUES ARE MISSING
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
A programme on Radio 4, at 11:30am on Wednesdays, entitled "Some Of Our Pilots Are Missing" could prove to be rather interesting. It is written by Rory Bremner and John Waite - both fantastic impressionists with an evident taste for good comedy (see below) - and has the pleasingly vague format of spoof out-takes from radio shows. It is relatively benign, perhaps explaining why it is on at such an inconvenient time, but does feature some classic reworkings of some things I feel sure have happened before. I found this particularly endearing:
 
"The words "hesitation", "repetition" and "deviation" have a special
meaning to radio listeners, alongside less cherished words like "Nicholas" and "Parsons"
 
Now where could that notion have come from?
 
Obviously, after blatantly plugging "Just A Minute", it would be absolute sacrilege to fail to mention ISIHAC. Bremner and Waite, like the seasoned BBC outsiders they are, wasted no time in doing so. They moved up in my personal popularity stakes, but probably ensured their lifespan on Radio 4 is shorter than average. Let's just hope dearest Auntie don't take this seriously:
 
JW: With the rival as Director General of John Birt, later knighted for his services to accountancy, the emphasis was placed strongly on producers to reduce production costs, and most notably by combining programme formats. One of the first examples of the genre saw politicians appear on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, so no need to change its title. The panellists were given silly things to do by John Cole.
JC: Hello and welcome to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the antidote to Prime Minister's question time. With me in the chamber today we have Michael Hestletine, MP for Henley les deux eglise; and Robin Cook, the member from Livingstone I presume. On my left, Paddy Ashdown and Anne Widdecombe. Betty Boothroyd is sitting at the piano, wishing she could play it. Right teams, first of all One Song To The Tune Of Another. Michael Hestletine, I'd like you to start us off by singing Jerusalem to the tune of The Red Flag.
MH: Right make it up? Labour always did. "and did those feet in ancient times, walk upon England's mountains green? And was the Holy lamb of God on England's pleasant pastures seen? And did the countenance divine shine forth upon our clouded hills?" All together! "and was Jerusalem builded here among these dark satanic mills?"
JC: OK very good. Gordon Brown, a topical one for you. I'd like you to sing, if you would, Land of Hope and Glory to the tune of Deutschland uber alles.
GB: "Land of hope and glory, mother of the free, how shall we extol thee who are born of thee" Easy! "Wider still and wider, shall thine arms be set. God who made the mighty, make thee mightier yet. God who made thee mighty make thee mightier yet" Eat your heart out Moira Anderson!
JC: Right, OK teams, very good. Next round Finish The Political Quotation.
Michael Hestletine, will you complete this quote:
    I have nothing to offer you..."
MH: At all
    "Go back to your constituencies..."
RC: And stay there
    "And the economy, read my lips..."
GB: I'm a lying bastard
    "I see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..."
MH: Red roses too, I see them bloom for me and for you, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
JC: Right, no points there, so let's get on and play Mornington Crescent
    [time-honoured cheer]
OK, now you all know the rules, but just to remind you of course,
by-elections are void. By-elections are void. Michael Hestletine off you go.
MH: Aerith and Thamesmead
RC: Southampton Itchen
AW: Birmingham Parribar
PA: Keytness and Sutherland
MH: Ribble Valley
RC: Ahahaah. The South Holland and the Deepings
PA: Galloway and Upper Mitzgerald
AW: Mornington Crescent
 
(NB. For those unacquainted with the daily Whitehall Farce we suffer in Britain, Paddy Ashdown is the soon to be ex-leader of the Liberal Democrats, with an unhealthy fetish for visiting Serbia and pointing out which places should have been bombed; Michael Hestletine is a Tory stalwart, more wart than most, who was rather keen on becoming leader a few years ago; Robin Cook is Foreign Secretary with an annoyingly whining voice and a penchant for irritating sensitive countries with nuclear capacity; Gordon Brown is Chancellor of the Exchequer, generally known as, and I quote, "tight Scottish git"; and Anne Widdecombe is a Tory MP best summed up by GG "...Ministers should travel freight, and follow the example of Anne Widdecombe who always goes in the baggage hold because you couldn't take her on as hand luggage")
 
As to whom is supposed to represent whom, I have my suspicions, but Tim need not fear, he's not even slightly reminiscent of any.
 
 
TIM'S A SHOOTING STAR
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
Tim appeared on a repeat of 'Shooting Stars', the (alleged) comedy quiz show. There were a couple of notable Goodies references, the time-honoured and very predictable "So that means you worked with Bill Oddie. Was he always keen on birds?" He dealt with it so admirably that he gave an almost convincing impression of never have being asked that before. Very wisely (he'd obviously seen the programme before) he refrained from saying too much as it incurs the wrath of the presenters Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.
 
Actually, the entire thing wasn't as bad as I make out, although it was undoubtedly lifted above mediocrity by Tim's mere presence. The best moment had to be when Mortimer crept up behind him and pretended to rip his underwear from him, eventually waving the inimitable Union Jack underpants. Regrettably he then tarnished the moment slightly by proclaiming "I have the flag of a goodie", but it was certainly better than nothing. This gag was then repeated to less comic effect with Belinda Carlisle.
 
Anyway Tim's team, actually captained by Ulrikka Johnson, won in the end, and he gave a credible performance of acting prowess in seemingly enjoying most of it. The tell-tale sign however, was the absence of those guffaws that so often grace ISIHAC, but he deserves congratulations for sticking out the show for considerably longer than I usually can.
 
 
SHORT BOOK REVIEW
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
Monty Python Encyclopedia, by Robert Ross
 
From what I can gather, Ross is the editor of Cor fanzine, an accomplished journalist and popular BBC broadcaster, who has come up with a phenomenal reference tool for anything even tenuously linked with Python. Naturally, this means a fairly hefty section on The Goodies and an immense catalogue of ISIRTA. He is highly complimentary of Bill's "fab music", Graeme's "surreal sense of awful puns and cleverness" and Tim - "potential Python" - the highest mark of respect (bar an OBE) he could bestow, and although he tends towards praising the John Cleese element in everything, Ross acknowledges that it remains "...every bit as inventive and important as a certain Monty Python's Flying Circus...". There is a lengthy chunk on The Goodies and the Beanstalk, climaxing in him becoming lyrical over Cleese's cameo: "Class stuff"
 
When it comes to 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again', Ross is quite evidently in his element. Not only does he go to great lengths to outline its beginnings as the 'Cambridge Circus', highlighting the critic who observed that the show: "will start nothing", but also painstakingly records the dates and times of transmission from 9:30pm 3rd April 1964 (on the Light Programme) to 25th December 1989 (on Radio 2).
 
"By the end of the fifth series it was less like a comedy show and more like playing in the Cup final for the cast, slipping in their lines between hearty heckles and uncontrolled responses from the audience. Cheering, groaning at the awful puns, knowing the key comic loops off by heart and saying them along with the cast...[the 25th anniversary] brought a radio landmark suitably to a close."
 
There are far too many mentions of various things to include here,
particularly concerning Tim, who is seemingly held in extremely high esteem. Graeme however, is conspicuous by his absence from Eric Idle's influences list (Shakespeare to the Wolves Cup winning team of 1960), whereas Tim and Bill do get recognition. Insert chorus of pity here: <Ahh>
 
 
QUICKIE
 
Observant people who have seen 'Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me' may have noticed a red trandem being ridden by a nun and two priests in the background of the Carnaby Street scenes. This is not unsurprising, as the star and writer of the film, Mike Myers, was influenced by The Goodies and indeed the Austin Powers films feature very Goodies-style humour.
 
 
3. FEATURE ARTICLE
 
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
 
by Andrew Pixley
 
I gather that my article and episode guide in TV Zone Magazine have caused some confusion regarding some of the episode titles for The Goodies - and indeed the titles have been a complete pain during my research into this series. Wherever possible, I attempted to use episode titles given on BBC production documentation, such as:
 
* The camera script
* The programme-as-broadcast document
* The BBC Television Main Title Index
 
In addition to this, a colleague of mine who is a BBC videotape engineer supplied me with a listing of all the titles which were apparently chalked on the time clocks that appear at the start of the master recording tapes. The remaining episode titles I generally took from the first edition of 'The Guiness Book of Classic British Television' by Paul Cornell, Martin Day and Keith Topping; this was a listing which I was provided with in 1993 during preparation of the book and which the authors explained was derived largely from titles which appeared in overseas (i.e. non UK) television listing magazines. The other episode guides, which I had access to but did not really use apart from comparisons, were the excellent one by Matthew K. Sharp and another shorter one by one of the great American masters of the episode listing George Fergus.
 
Season One
 
There are no titles for this season on either scripts or programme-as-broadcast sheets; generally they are called Show 1, Show 2, etc. or The Goodies (1), The Goodies (2), etc. I have only been able to ascertain titles for three of the episodes, as given on a memo written to Bill Oddie by John Howard Davies on 23 November 1970. In this, Davies comments he feels that the best episodes of the series have been "Beefeaters, Snooze, Playgirl Club and the last one"; this suggests that the final episode did not have a title.
 
It is also worth noting the project numbers for the episodes which show production order, different from transmission order:
 
11/5/0/2521 Beefeaters episode
11/5/0/2522 Playgirl club episode
11/5/0/2523 Police episode
11/5/0/2524 Snooze episode
11/5/0/2525 Servants episode
11/5/0/2526 Army episode
11/5/0/2527 Pirate radio episode
 
Season Two
(Referred to by the BBC as The Goodies 'B')
 
The situation is largely the same as for Season One with no titles on scripts or programme-as-broadcast sheets other than The Goodies (10), The Goodies (11) etc. Pollution apparently is given as the title on the episode's time clock at the start of the master tape, and was thus the title being used at the time the episode was recorded (although it was possible that this was only a working title and not that intended for final use). The same is true of The Lost Tribe, The Music Lovers and Gender Education. Kitten Kong is referred to be title on numerous pieces of production documentation for this show, although another episode which has substantial extant paperwork is merely 'Series 2 Programme 11'. Factory Farm I used because this is the title given to the filmed insert from the show broadcast in Engelbert with the Young Generation. Two extracts from this season were given titles when they appeared on the BBC clips programme Ask Aspel; one was entitled The Galloping Cannibal (presumably referring to Graeme's impersonation of annoying TV chef Graham 'The Galloping Gourmet' Kerr) while the other was Come Dancing. The BBC also maintain a Programme Title Index which generally follows the p-as-bs and lists shows as The Goodies (13);
however, the repeat of Show 3 is listed as Pollution.
 
This season was made effectively as two separate series. The first batch of episodes runs:
 
11/5/1/2151 Loch Ness Monster episode
11/5/1/2152 Commonwealth Games episode
11/5/1/2153 The Lost Tribe
11/5/1/2154 Pollution
11/5/1/2155 The Music Lovers
11/5/1/2156 Art episode
11/5/1/2157 Kitten Kong
 
The second batch was then:
 
11/5/1/2158 Come Dancing episode
11/5/1/2159 Factory Farm episode
11/5/1/2160 Sexual Liberation episode
11/5/1/2161 Gender Education
11/5/1/2162 Charity Bounce episode
11/5/1/2163 Nice Person of the Year episode
 
Englebert with The Young Generation
 
The camera scripts for the series give a title for each film insert; these are Pets, Pop Festival, Keep Fit, Post Office, Sleepwalking, Factory Farm, Good Deed Day, The Gym, The Country Code, Street Entertainers, Plum Pudding, Bodyguards and Pan's Grannies. There are no titles given on the first three films on the programme-as-broadcast sheets, nor for the ninth while the fourth refers to The Goodies sequence as 'Post Office Film'; the other eight have titles corresponding to the camera scripts. Obviously, the bulk of these titles - such as Sleepwalking - refer only to the film sequence in
question and not to the whole of the original episode from which they came.
 
Special
 
This was originally referred to on the artist contracts as Montreux Show in February 1972, although this is a description as opposed to a title. The title on the camera script is Goodies - Montreux Show while the p-as-b refers to it as Montreux 'The Goodies' and the BBC Title Index has Montreux 72 BBC Entry. It is a remake of the episode referred to as Kitten Kong.
 
Special
 
This was originally referred to on the artist contracts as Goodies Compilation in March 1972, but was billed in Radio Times and listed on programme-as-broadcast sheets as A Collection of Goodies, although the time clock apparently reads Special Tax Edition. Unfortunately, the camera script for the newly recorded linking material is missing, but within the programme-as-broadcast document, the five film sequences salvaged from Engelbert with the Young Generation are named as Gymnasium, The Plum Pudding, Pan's Grannies, Good Deed Day - Babies and Street Entertainers.
 
Season Three
 
From this season, the camera scripts started to carry titles, while the programme-as-broadcast sheets continue to be The Goodies (1), etc. The New Office and Hunting Pink both appear on the camera scripts for the episodes, The Winter Olympics, That Old Black Magic and Way Outward Bound are given on the camera script and the time clock. The same is true of For Those In Peril On The Sea, although on some paperwork this is shortened to For Those In Peril (likewise there are minor variations such as the third show being referred to as Winter Olympics). The special show recorded with these episodes, Superstar, was accredited with an on-screen title which also appears on the camera script, programme-as-broadcast document, BBC Title Index and even in the Radio Times. The episodes are numbered 1 to 7 on the camera scripts, and the project numbers run:
 
11/5/2/2271 The New Office
11/5/2/2272 Hunting Pink
11/5/2/2273 The Winter Olympics
11/5/2/2274 That Old Black Magic
11/5/2/2275 For Those In Peril On The Sea
11/5/2/2276 Way Outward Bound
11/5/2/2277 Superstar
 
Season Four
 
Camelot, Invasion of the Moon Creatures, Hospital for Hire, The Stone Age, Goodies in the Nick and The Race all appear on both the camera script and the time clock. Since the BBC treated these as an extension of the previous run, the camera scripts confusingly number them as 10, 11, 8, 11, 12 and 9 respectively; this was the production order, with The Stone Age really being show 13 this was recorded last after a strike forced its postponement. To confuse matters further, the programme-as-broadcast sheets remain with The
Goodies (1), The Goodies (2) etc. On the Title Index, somebody has written Invasion of the Moon Creatures in by hand over The Goodies (2) while the final show is noted as The Goodies in France racing at Le Mans. By the time of the 1975 repeats, the episodes are given titles as on the p-as-b for the Title Index. The project numbers run:
 
11/5/2/2278 Hospital for Hire
11/5/2/2279 The Race
11/5/2/2280 Camelot
11/5/2/2281 Invasion of the Moon Creatures
11/5/2/2282 Goodies in the Nick
11/5/2/2283 The Stone Age
 
Special
 
The Goodies and the Beanstalk is the full on-screen title of the programme as listed in Radio Times and also on all production paperwork. As late as 12th September 1973, it was referred to as The Goodies Christmas Show, although this may have been more of a content description than a title.
 
Season Five
(Referred to by the BBC as The Goodies 1974 in October 1973 and then as The Goodies Autumn 1974 for the final six episodes in October 1974.)
 
From this season, a title was also logged by the BBC at the time of broadcast on the programme-as-broadcast document. Thus the titles The Movies, The Clown Virus, Frankenfido, Scatty Safari, Kung Fu Kapers!, Rome Antics, Cunning Stunts, South Africa, OK Tearooms, The End all appear on camera script, time clock and p-as-b with minor variations (Clown Virus, Kung Fu Kapers on the p-as-b). Chubby Chumps appears on the camera script and p-as-b, but the time clock apparently reads Radio 2 or Chubby Chumps. Wacky Wales does not appear on the p-as-b but is on the camera script and time clock. One script title, Lighthouse Keeping Loonies diverges from that apparently on the time clock which is The Lighthouse; unfortunately there is no title give on the p-as-b (other than The Goodies (8)) but presumably The Lighthouse replaced the scripted title. The Title Index uses variant titles in a rather haphazard way; after an untitled first show, these are Clown Virus, Radio 2, The Goodies go to Wales, Frankenfido, the most amazing dog ever, Scatty Safari, Tim & Graham (sic) try 'Kung Fu', The Lighthouse-Keeping, Rome Antics, Cunning Stunts, South Africa, O.K. Tearooms and The End. To confuse matters further, the 1975 repeat runs includes listings for Montreux Entry: The Movies, Kung Fu Kapers, Wacky Wales, Frankenfido, Lighthouse and Movies while the penultimate episode is referred to as Bunfight at the OK Tearooms from its 1977 repeat onwards. The scripts also include episode numbers for intended production order, thus the numbers run 2, 1, 4, 5 (amended from 3), 6, 9, 8, 7, 10, 11, 3, 12, 13.
 
It was intended to make this run as two separate batches, a plan which went astray when strikes hit the BBC in June 1974. The first production batch was to run thus:
 
11/5/4/2041 The Clown Virus
11/5/4/2042 The Movies
11/5/4/2043 South Africa
11/5/4/2044 Chubby Chumps
11/5/4/2045 Wacky Wales
11/5/4/2046 Frankenfido
11/5/4/2047 Lighthouse Keeping Loonies
 
With a second batch planned as follows:
 
11/5/4/2048 Kung Fu Kapers!
11/5/4/2049 Scatty Safari
11/5/4/2050 Rome Antics
11/5/4/2051 Cunning Stunts
11/5/4/2052 OK Tearooms
11/5/4/2053 The End
 
Special
 
Goodies Rule - OK? is the full on-screen title of the programme as listed in Radio Times and also on all production paperwork. The p-as-b lists it as The Goodies Special - Goodies Rule: OK? 
 
Season Six 
(Referred to by the BBC as The Goodies: Series Five or Series V)
 
The first episode title is given on the script as "Lips" or "Almighty Cod" and becomes Lips or Almighty Cod on the p-as-b. The remaining titles, Hype Pressure, Daylight Robbery on the Orient Express, Black and White Beauty, It Might As Well Be String and 2001 And A Bit are consistent on camera script, time clock and p-as-b; 2001 And A Bit is also given as an on-screen descriptor at the start of the programme while the time clock for the fifth show is truncated to Might As Well Be String. The final show was a special with an on-screen title of The Goodies - Almost Live (the original title of The New Goodies LP) which agrees with the p-as-b although the camera script opts for the more energetic Almost Live!!! The first two shows have been numbered 1 and 2 on the scripts, after which the numbers have been removed because they did not correspond with broadcast order. The Title Index agrees with the excepted titles, but refers to 2001 And A Bit as Two Thousand And One And A Bit. The project numbers run:
 
11/5/6/2001 Lips or Almighty Cod
11/5/6/2002 Hype Pressure
11/5/6/2003 It Might As Well Be String
11/5/6/2004 2001 And A Bit
11/5/6/2005 Daylight Robbery On The Orient Express
11/5/6/2006 Black and White Beauty
11/5/6/2007 Almost Live!!!
 
Season Seven
(Referred to by the BBC as The Goodies: Autumn 1977)
 
Alternative Roots, Dodonuts, Scoutrageous, Punky Business, Royal Command and Earthanasia feature on camera script, time clock and p-as-b. These are numbered as shows 1, 2, 4, 5, 3 and 6 because of the postponement of Royal Command from its intended slot. Only Royal Command has a title on the Title Index for its first run; the 1978 repeats however confirm all titles as given above. Here's the project numbers:
 
01157/2001 Alternative Roots
01157/2002 Dodonuts
01157/2003 Royal Command
01157/2004 Scoutrageous
01157/2005 Punky Business
01157/2006 Earthanasia
 
Season Eight
 
Titles for this season were generally given in the Radio Times at the time of broadcast, which tie up with one exception. The first episode is listed as Goodies and Politics whereas the camera script, time clock and p-as-b all read Politics; this was presumably a mistake by the Radio Times which is also reproduced on the Title Index. Saturday Night Grease is the title on camera script, time clock and p-as-b. A Kick in the Arts, U-Friend or UFO, Animals and War Babies! all feature on camera scripts, time clocks, p-as-bs, Title Index and Radio Times, with the episodes numbered 1 to 6 in sequence. War Babies! only retains its exclamation mark on the camera scripts. And the last batch of numbers is:
 
1158/9671 Politics
1158/9672 Saturday Night Grease
1158/9673 A Kick in the Arts
1158/9674 U-Friend or UFO
1158/9675 Animals
1158/9676 War Babies!
 
Unfortunately, it is not possible to get access to similar paperwork for the seven LWT shows, but hopefully these will come to light some day and complete the picture a little more.
 
EDITOR'S ADDENDUM
 
Taking a quick look at the time clock for all episodes of the LWT series only adds to the confusion. Each time clock lists the production number and the date of recording and, of course, the name of the series. However, in the case of the last three episodes to be recorded, the title of the episode does not appear. Here is a list of the time clocks:
 
90325 - 'Goodies' - Football Crazy - 29/5/81
90326 - 'Goodies' - Change of Life - 5/6/81
90327 - 'Goodies' - Robot - 12/6/81
90328 - 'Goodies' - Big Foot - 19/6/81
90329 - 'The Goodies' - 9/12/81
90330 - 'Goodies' - 23/10/81
90331 - 'Goodies' - 30/10/81
 
This, of course, provides very little insight into the "real" titles of the episodes in the last series. However the titles of first four episodes to be recorded do correspond with the titles given on their 1980s video release (except in the case of Big Foot, which is listed on the video as Bigfoot, but that is an even more pedantic point).
 
The real question is, what are the titles of production numbers 90329, 90330 and 90331? The generally accepted titles (which appear on Andrew's TV Zone article, 'The Guiness Book of Classic British Television and Matthew K. Sharp's Goodies Episode Guide) are, in order of production, 'Snow White 2', 'Holidays' and 'Animals', but as Andrew got these titles from Matthew and Matthew presumably got them from Peter, Martin and Keith and Peter, Martin and Keith got them from international listings magazines and the international listings magazines presumably got them from LWT, we will all have to remain confused until some manages to infiltrate LWT and find the truth!
 
 
*Note*
For those of you who haven't spotted it, production #90329 AKA 'Snow White 2' was made entirely on film. The date of recording might refer to the date it was played to audience to record the laugh-track.
 
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Next month's Feature Article:
The Goodies' Biographies from The Goodies Annual 1974
sent in by Jonathan Sloman
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4. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY no. 17
by Brett Allender
 
 
WOMEN'S LIB
Series 2 - Episode 10
First screened: 17th December 1971
 
PLOT
 
Graeme brings in his hot date for the evening: a giggling, air-headed bimbo named Debbie. Bill thinks that she is one of Graeme's robots, while Graeme and Tim talk about her features as though she is a motor car. Bill finds this talk distastefully chauvinistic and posing as one of the 'sisterhood', he reports them to the Women's Liberation Authority.
 
This leads to a visit from the militant inspector Barbara, who thinks that Bill is a woman by his clothes and beads (and also admires his beard as a sign of equality!). Barbara liberates Debbie by telling her to remove her bra, then barrels Graeme and Tim (who have just been belted with Debbie's handbag) and tells them that they ought to find out what being a woman is really like. She sends them off to work for her father (a typical male chauvinist pig) at his mansion, with Graeme as butler and Tim as housemaid, while Bill is required to stay at the office and help her.
 
Graeme finds that life as a butler is a breeze as Charlie looks after him just fine, but Timbellina the housemaid gets a much tougher time from her 'master' and cops all of the housework as well as quite a lot of slap and tickle too. Barbara turns up at the mansion with Bill in tow as her new boyfriend to the utter disapproval of her father and Graeme, while Tim resigns as housemaid to devote his time to 'the cause'.
 
Bill receives flowers and chocolates from Barbara and they head out for a quiet intimate evening, which leaves Tim and Graeme behind at the office. Tim refuses to change out of his maid's uniform and claims to be proud to be a woman, as even a horrified Graeme's reminder of Tomcat Tim (and his exploits with Big Fat Nellie of Cock Fosters!) fails to alter his attitude. Graeme prepares to take out Totty (another brainless bimbo), but a blazing argument with Tim sees Totty call him a loony and stalk out. Another argument ensues, as Graeme tells Tim that if he wanted to have an intelligent conversation, he'd talk to his computer and after he installs a voicebox in it, he finds true love at last (and they romantically share algorithmic progressions and quadratic equations over a candlelight dinner!)
 
Barbara is quite content just trying to get Bill tiddly and the four lovebirds go on a romantic jaunt through the woods and in a playground, before they announce plans for a double wedding. Tim finds that his cases have been packed for him (with the end of the Goodies nigh), as there will no longer be room for him in the office and he considers devoting the rest of his life to being a nun instead!
 
The brides turn up fashionably late for the big occasion; Barbara accompanied by her father and Graeme's computer arriving in a Southern Electronics Transport Company van! Tim also arrives dressed as a women's lib protester and with a soapbox speech condemning the drudgery of married life ("washing meals and cooking babies!"), he convinces Graeme and Bill not to tie the knot (as both order their future wife's attendants to "Take her away!"). This headstrong speech stops the ceremony, but it also greatly impresses Charlie, who wants to marry Tim while everyone is present at the church. The Goodies lock the gates and bolt off on the trandem with the vicar in hot pursuit on foot.
 
CLASSIC QUOTES
 
* Graeme (about Debbie): "Only one previous owner. Hardly a mark on her. Built for speed."
Tim: "What does she do flat out ?"
Graeme: "Nearly everything!"
 
* Graeme (to a tarted-up Tim): "You're a man, not a woman. Go and have a look!"
 
* Tim: "I might even marry if Mr Right comes along."
Graeme (horrified): "Mr Wright, the greengrocer! You can't marry him!"
 
* Charlie: "I thought that you were a simple working girl, oh, but underneath..."
Tim: "There's a great deal more than you'd imagine!"
 
CLASSIC SCENES
 
* Graeme the butler riding on the back of a loaded tea trolley whipping Tim the maid, who is pulling the trolley along by a set of reins clasped in his teeth. Tim takes a bend a bit too sharply, sending Graeme and the morning tea flying through the air in all directions.
 
* The various scenes with a love-smitten Graeme and his darling computer, especially them skipping arm in arm through the woods together.
 
GUEST STARS
 
Allan Cuthbertson, Gaye Brown, Elaine Baillie, Maxine Casson, Zibba Mays and Tina Reeves.
 
GOODIES SONGS
 
'Needed', 'A Woman's Work Is Never Done',
'Got To Make You Mine'.
 
MOCK ADVERTISEMENTS
 
Honest Holidays.
 
MY 2 CENTS WORTH
 
A fairly good parody of sexual equality, although the 'treat men like kings, women like slaves' aspect drags on far too long. The classic scenes with Graeme in love with his computer go some way towards making up for this at least.
 
BLACK PUDDING RATING
 
III                    Goody goody yum yum
 
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Whack the diddle-o blue! Pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off ya billabongs 'coz THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES book is hot off the presses! Even thicker than the SleepalongaMax volume 98 record collection and far easier to comprehend than Eddie Waring's rugby scores, THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES is jam packed with gibbon-loads of Goody things such as:
* detailed summaries for each of the 75 episodes of the show (including fully revised versions of the first 10 summaries printed in the newsletters)
* the lyrics of some classic Goodies songs.
* heaps of cool photos from actual episodes and publicity sessions.
* an episode guide/contents page and signed author's introduction.
* alphabetical indexes of guest stars, songs and mock advertisements.
Each book is spiral bound with a plastic cover and costs $20 plus postage.
More information can be obtained from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/summary.html  and details of how to place orders can be obtained by e-mailing Brett Allender at bretta@wimmera.com.au
All profits from the book will go towards the staging of Kitten Con, our Goodies Convention in 2000. So why not be a sport and do yourself and the club a favour by ordering your copy of THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES today. You know it makes sense!
 
 
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Upcoming Reviews:
August - Music Review - 'Working The Line'
September - Episode Summary #18 - 'Gender Education'
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5. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ
by quizmaster David McAnally
 
Due to space constrictions, there will be no new quiz question this month, but next month David will be back with one of his infamous Goodies crosswords.
 
ANSWER TO LAST MONTH'S QUESTION
 
Q: How does the following line to a Goodies' song in 'Invasion Of The Moon Creatures' end? "By the light, of the silvery..."?
 
A: Earth.
 
 
6. THE END
 
This C&G hits your in-boxes in between two Goodies' birthdays. The first was Bill Oddie's 58th birthday, which was last Wednesday. And so, the C&G is proud to virtually present our present to Bill, the final Goodies birthday poem, penned or, rather, typed by the club's Poet Laureate, Vice President and excellent fill-in C&G editor, Brett Allender.
 
FROM BARD TO VERSE
 
Here's a third and final Goody birthday ode
After which I'll promptly hit the road
As mentioning Bill's birthday might get me in strife
Judging by his reaction in A Change Of Life
 
He flew into a rage at his Goody chums
While wrecking the office, he called them "crumbs"
His piece-de-resistance after seeing red
Was to upend his birthday cake all over his head
 
But I'm willing to dodge some flying cake
For there's a proclamation that I'd like to make
C'mon everybody, it's gibbon time
Bill, we're taking you back with a birthday rhyme
 
Back to the days of lemon sherbet trips
Che Kitallabout in Politics
Land Of Hope on an electric guitar
Randy Pandy the superstar
 
A cheeky swim in Love The Police
Going berserk and exploding the BBC
Gunned down in the bunfight with tomato sauce
Uttering "Knickers!" to Desiree Carthorse
 
Almost marrying Barbara in Women's Lib
World Domination badge, dib dib dib
A human mouse for Kitten Kong bait
Playing trombones to UFO's in the park until late
 
A silent movie producer; a cruel horse trainer
Potholing inside a t-rex was even insaner
Willy Snot's epic torture at the Trendsetters Ball
A crazed footy hooligan crashing right through the wall
 
Cuddly Scamp Hairylegs, the Mastermind champ
Being stuck in a lighthouse and the famous "round" rant
In love with Mildred; running from apart-height
The exclusive Disco Bilius on a Saturday night
 
And of course, t' Grand Master of Eckythump
Getting flattened by fatties in Chubby Chumps
BO the ad man; a Kinda Kinky apple farmer
Your true self in Earthanasia - what an absolute charmer
 
"Turps for burps"; reviving cricket tradition
Black Muslim Rastous when finding religion
A Little Laddie singing of sh-sh-shiny shoes
Such a wealth of great roles from which to choose
 
While your fellow Goodies were conservatively clad
Your taste of fashion was amazingly rad
Like those purple flares with the big white stripes
And the cool Goodies t-shirts which our club now revives
 
Though when dragging up was the state of play
You weren't in Tim's class, I'm sorry to say
The virgin and Vanessa were a bit of a fright
While Nanny Helga causes men to wake screaming at night
 
But for all your fun roles and joint writing of scripts
Bill, your best contribution is that brilliant music
Catchy country-pop rhythms at bopalong pace
With amusing lyrics to put a smile on one's face
 
Like Come Back, Run and Working The Line
Black Pudding Bertha, Funky Gibbon and others so fine
Rock With A Policeman, Motorway Madness, I'm Small
And that's hardly touched our list of favourites at all
 
So Bill, though you're not on our C&G list
Perhaps the pirate post office can deliver you this
But for now, on behalf of our members, I'll say
All the very best for a happy birthday!
 
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Our second birthday greeting goes out to "the blonde one" Tim Brooke-Taylor, who turns 59 next weekend. Alas we have no poem (or nice bottle of South Australian red) for Tim, but we have added 'Land of Hope and Glory' to our sound archives at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/sounds.html , which is better than a kick in the arts! Anyway, Happy Birthday Tim!
 
And so, in the words of Humphrey Lyttelton, "as the red, red robin of time goes bob-bob-bobbing under the snow plow of destiny and the sage and onion stuffing mixture of fate is rammed up the eternally frozen turkey of damnation" we notice it's the end of the C&G...until next we find an Eskimo phrase-book, ah, here's one!
 
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DISCLAIMER
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1999). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com
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