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C&G 46 Oct 1999
#46 Oct 1999 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 13/10/2006

Index

» #46 Oct 1999

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
.
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
Issue No. 46                12th October 1999
 
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
 - Alison Bean
 
DEPUTY EDITOR
 - Brett Allender
 
ACE REPORTERS
- David Balston
- Catherine Sumnall
 
WORD SEARCH
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
CONTRIBUTORS
- Tim Aslat
- Jonathan Sloman
- Frauke Nonnenmacher
- Quentin Hall
- Douglas Wulf
- Andrew Taylor
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. TAKING YOU BACK - From the archives.
4. PIRATE POST OFFICE - Your questions and opinions.
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW - Please Let Us Play.
6. GOODIES WORD SEARCH - More wordy Goody fun.
 7. THE END - Translations.
 
SUPPLEMENT: Super Duper Crossword solution.
 
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail Alison Bean <carrot@oztek.net.au> with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
 
THE CLUB'S INCORPORATION
 
Following a meeting held last weekend, the committee of The Goodies Rule - OK! unanimously voted on a constitution to incorporate the club. This constitution will be available at our website as soon as it has been passed by the relevant Victorian state government office, but if you would like a copy please e-mail <carrot@oztek.net.au>.
 
For the club to be successfully incorporated a paid membership has had to established, in addition to free internet membership or at-cost postal membership. These paid members are called Voting Members in the constitution and for the annual fee $10 (Australian dollars) they will:
 
- Have the right to vote for or be elected to the club's committee.
- Receive a membership badge.
- Get a 10% discount on all club merchandise(*).
 
(*) Club merchandise is defined as t-shirts and copies of Brett Allender's Goodies Episode Summaries and does not include membership fees, Kitten Kon tickets or merchandise purchased through the club's associate schemes, such as Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, CD Now or the New Zealand Internet Shop.
 
If you would like to become a Voting Member please send a cheque or money order for $10 (Australian dollars only) made out to "The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)" to:
 
The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)
PO Box 325
Chadstone
VIC 3148
AUSTRALIA
 
All questions regarding the club's incorporation should be directed to club President, Alison Bean at <carrot@oztek.net.au>.
 
 
KITTEN KON - GOODIES CONVENTION 2000
 
Bookings are now open for the world's first Goodies convention. And if you book your tickets before 1st December 1999 you will go into the draw to win a copy of the CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best of The Goodies" autographed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden.
 
Kitten Kon will be held at the Dallas Brooks Convention Centre, Melbourne, Australia over the Easter 2000 long weekend (starting on the afternoon of Friday 21st April and finishing on the evening of Sunday 23rd April). Events will include:
 
- Questions, answers and panels with special guests Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden(*).
- Screenings of rare Goodies-related footage.
- An audio and video room featuring all available episodes of The "Goodies", plus "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".
- The Australian launch of Robert Ross' book "The Goodies Guide".
- Panels featuring experts on The Goodies and other cult comedies and TV shows.
- A charity auction of cult TV memorabilia.
- A quiz night.
- A 70s disco with Goodies costumes and karaoke.
 
(*) Subject to work commitments.
 
And remember, all proceeds will be donated to the Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne.
 
But how would you expect to pay for this two and half day, 30th anniversary celebration extravaganza? You'll pay just $80 (Australian dollars), but only if you book before 1st December 1999! After that, prices MUST rise. And if you book before 1st December, you'll save up to $50, so BOOK NOW!!!!
 
To book please send your cheque or money order for $80 (in Australian dollars ONLY) made out to "The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)", plus your name, postal address, e-mail address and contact phone number to:
 
The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)
PO Box 325
Chadstone
VIC 3148
AUSTRALIA
 
Please note that:
 
- Tickets purchased for Kitten Kon will only be refunded in exceptional circumstances.
- The Goodies Rule - OK! will not be arranging accommodation or transport for convention attendees. However, an electronic bulletin will be set up as soon as possible where you can get in touch with other people who would be keen to arrange things like group discounts on hotels or group travel arrangements.
 
All questions regarding Kitten Kon should be directed to the club's Project's Officer, Tracey Baird <tra4ce@bigpond.com>. All questions regarding the electronic bulletin board should be addressed to the club's Technical Officer, Tim Aslat <zaphod@oztek.net.au>.
 
 
VIRTUAL AUCTION
 
The virtual auction is back, with a set of Goodies video covers signed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden up for grabs again after the highest bidder neglected to send us the money! The bidding starts at $30, so get in quick to make sure you get them. To bid, head to http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/virtual.html , but please read the rules first.
 
 
GOODIES-L
 
by Tim Aslat
 
Recently Johnathan Potter from Left Side Software (http://www.lss.com.au/ ) announced that he will no longer be able to maintain the Goodies-L mailing list, so I volunteered my services in setting up another mailing list server as close as possible to the existing system. Oztek Online have already made a commitment to "The Goodies Rule - OK!" by providing a virtual domain and web space to host the site in Australia and it made sense to host the mailing list from here as well.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Johnathan for all the time and effort he put into this mailing list, in all honesty, the list probably wouldn't have existed if it wasn't for his dedication.
 
The new list is similar in operation to the existing list, but for those of you who have forgotten (like me) how they originally signed up I'll give some simple instructions.
 
To subscribe, send an e-mail to <goodies-l-request@oztek.net.au> with the word SUBSCRIBE in the body of the message.
 
To unsubscribe, send an e-mail to <goodies-l-request@oztek.net.au> with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of the message.
 
To post a message, send it to <goodies-l@oztek.net.au>.
 
Basically it's the same as the previous system but if anyone has any problems, feel free to email me directly on <zaphod@oztek.net.au>.
 
I have already subscribed everyone currently on the list (to the best of my knowledge) so there should be minimal transition problems.
 
Once again, I would like to thank Johnathan for all his assistance and support.
 
 
POSTAL MEMBERSHIP
 
by Brett Allender
 
This is your postal membership coordinator speaking. Here is an important announcement. It has been put about by backsliding revisionary paper hyenas that if you're outside the five mile limit and don't have access to e-mail, then you can't receive the monthly Goodies Fan Club Clarion & Globe (C&G) newsletter.
 
This...is a lie! (THUMP!! - ruddy great hole in my computer desk and two broken fingers!) Our glorious post office gallantly continues to function for our postal members. We will get your printed newsletters through! These are dark days and the storm clouds of e-mail gather around us. But never fear! I pledge that I, your Vice Prez, will see your C&G safely arrive to you via the "Pirate Post Office" every month. And now...A Walk through the details of how you or a fellow Goodies-fan friend can receive monthly copies of the C&G by "snail mail" if you so desire:
 
THE PRODUCT:
 
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion & Globe newsletter is distributed by e-mail on the 12th of each month and is sent out to postal members as soon as possible afterwards.
 
The content of the C&G generally includes club activities and ideas, news on the latest public appearances of the three Goodies, episode and music reviews, readers opinions, occasional crosswords and feature articles.
 
The postal edition of the C&G contains exactly the same material as the e-mail edition, but is able to be presented in a two column newsletter format (of approximately 8-10 pages) with a better layout including a variety of fonts and pictures.
 
YEARLY SUBSCRIPTIONS:
 
(12 editions of the C&G)
 
Australian Postal Member: $20
Overseas Postal Member: $30 (inc. air mail postage)
 
Please send cheque/money order (in Australian dollars and made out to "The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)") to:
 
Postal Membership
The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.)
PO Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148
AUSTRALIA
 
Postal membership not only entitles you to receive the C&G each month, it also allows you to become a member of "The Goodies Rule - OK" and join in our various club activities such as video nights and meetings.
 
So be sure not to miss it. If you don't have internet access but are a keen Goodies fan, then become a Postal Member today. Radio Goodies ... BOOM!
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail <carrot@oztek.net.au> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
 
IN CONVERSATION WITH TIM AND GRAEME
 
After a wait of many months, BBC Radio 4 finally got around to broadcasting "In Conversation With...Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden". It was billed thus in Radio Times:
 
-----
Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor first pedalled into our lives on the trandem ridden by the Goodies in the seventies. Since then, they have delighted us for more than 20 years on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, where their gentle geniality softens the razor's edge of their wit. This evening, they are in conversation with... (6.30pm R4) Paul Jackson, controller of BBC entertainment.
-----
 
David Balston went along to the recording back in April and had this to say of the show, after it was broadcast last night:
 
-----
The good news is that the editors left in the plug for 'The Goodies Rule - OK!' website, but due to sharp editing when asked what the website address was the reply came out as 'Goodies Rule OK'. Which, although can probably be fed into the search engines, made me wonder how many people will feed in www.goodiesruleok.com as the address?
 
Sadly the (almost) promise to repeat The Goodies on the BBC didn't make it to the final version, although Tim and Graeme's request that The Goodies should be repeated if they ruled the world did make it in.
-----
 
The C&G's other British stalwart Catherine Sumnall had this to say:
 
-----
C&G readers being described as "very bright" did perhaps direct this review into the outer extremities of bias, but no matter. "In Conversation With...", though maybe not quite teetering over the precipice of BBC cutting edge broadcasting, was an entertaining if relatively mild offering, with various insights from Tim and Graeme into Cambridge before Portillo (sorry, irresistible political comment); the origins of both radio masterpieces "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue"; quickly perusing "If I Ruled The World" along the way. Oh yes, and that Goodies thing. I'm afraid you'll have to give me till next time for a transcript.
-----
 
And there's Goody news for fans around the world who didn't catch it, a real audio recording is already available online!
 
 
GOODIES ON UK TV
 
The Goodies began its repeat run on the UK TV channel available on Australian cable TV through Foxtel or Austar. It's screening Wednesday to Friday at 11pm, check your TV guides for further details.
 
 
I'LL PWUMP FOR A FWEEZE - PART 2
 
by Jonathan Sloman
 
Here's the rest of Tim and Graeme's definitions and guesses from Call My Bluff, broadcast on Friday 10th September at 12:30pm.
 
Alan's team are given the word 'killcrop' and Tim admits he enjoys reading 'Winnie The Pooh' books as he can identify everyone he knows to one of the characters (sadly, he gives no names!). He then says that people identify him as a Piglet, all shy and retiring. He disagrees, saying he's not a Piglet or even a Pooh. He's not a Tigger, a Rabbit or an Owl, he's an Eeyore, all quiet and sad, or at least someone who PRETENDS to be. Why is Eeyore given to states of depression? Is he an artist? Is he a poet? No, he's just someone given to melancholy, or a killcrop, says Tim, pretending to sob. Anyway, it doesn't matter as this is all nonsense, as a killcrop is a person's substitute, as Alan said.
 
The next word is 'rorrid' and Graeme suggests, in his own words, an "un-PC" definition. He says that men are prone to lying when women ask them "What do I look like in this?". He warns women to beware if their man says that it looks rorrid because, although it SOUNDS flattering, it in fact means that "heads will turn, but in the other direction" as rorrid means shapeless, "not florid, nor horrid, but shapeless". Sandi Toksvig tells a story about Alan's insistence to visit a nice bread restaurant when on holiday, suggesting that 'rorrid' meant 'softened by kneading', while Thelma Barlow says it's a 'dewy, fine spray', whatever that means.
 
It's Tim's turn to guess which one of these definitions is true, and admits to being rather surprised by Alan's suggestion of going to a 'nice bread restaurant' for a "nice bit of bread, and maybe a bit of water to go with it," he adds. "'Prison' we call it.". Tim doesn't believe this definition or Thelma's. He says it sounds logical, but she pronounced the word differently each time, 'rurrid' and 'rerrid' etc. So he goes with shapeless Graeme. But no matter how she pronounced it, Thelma Barlow still had the correct answer.
 
Bob Holness informs us that the score is that Sandy's team (with Graeme) have two, while Alan's team (with Tim) have one.
 
Alan's team have the word 'teguryon'. Sue McGregor talks about Alan booking a place in Highgate cemetery in order to describe a 'teguryon', or 'shrine', whilst Alan discusses his childhood, going down to the beach, bucket and spade in hand, and never seeing a 'teguryon', or 'starfish'. Tim says he had it tough at the Carnoustie Open, and complained about all the whingeing golfers, who are only trying to get a ball into a hole.
 
He then recalled the Greek myth about the man (who brainy Timbo actually named I've forgotten) who has to eternally push a boulder up a hill only to have it roll down again. HE, Tim says, had a perfect right to whinge. Despite his Teguryon, he will never succeed, because 'teguryon' is a 'strenuous effort'. Thelma, who's turn it is to guess, likes Tim's "hard, hard slog" which Tim demonstrates by looking agitated and shaking his fists. She also comments on Alan's bucket and spade, and his reservation in the cemetery. Tim says that seeing Alan with his "bucket and spade in Highgate cemetery would be a TERRIBLE shock". Anyway, the correct answer was 'a shrine'.
 
The next word is 'Afaitement', and it's for Sandi's team. Graeme says it's a French word, so consequently it's not used by anyone with taste. He recalls whilst at a lunch break during a production meeting the head producer said "May we please (something in French which he said too fast for me write down)?", which literally means "May we please 'return to our sheep'?", meaning 'to go back to work', "or if you're in Wales, quality time!". Graeme claims that 'Afaitement' means 'back to work' or 'back to the matter in hand'. It doesn't, it in fact means 'training, or practice'.
 
Last word now, and Bob tells them that they're short on time. The word is 'falbala'. Tim claims that both Dick Whittington and Laurie Lee were falbalas, they left home with no money and received fame and fortune. A 'falbala' is a runaway success story, an adventurer of low background becoming "Lord Mayor of London, or the leader of the GLC". Graeme, the guesser, quickly dismisses Tim's definition, and heavily doubts Alan's frankly made-up story about 'white water rapids' (which even included a Clinton/Monica joke! Work it out for yourself). Graeme guesses that it's Sue McGregor's definition, 'a trimming or flounce', and he is right.
 
The score is a dead-heat at three-all. But by my reckoning, Graeme is the best bluffer out of the two as he fooled the other team (including Tim) twice, while Tim only fooled them once. Also, Graeme correctly guessed the true definition towards the end of the show.
 
Well done to Graeme, but will we ever see a rematch. And will Bill have a chance to fight for the title of 'Best Bluffer in The Goodies'?
 
 
CALL MY BLUFF AGAIN
 
by David Balston
 
Graeme and Tim made another appearance in the panel game 'Call My Bluff' on Thursday 24th September 1999 on BBC1. Sue McGregor was on the same team as Tim and Sandi Toksvig and Thelma Barlow joined Graeme and Alan Corhen. Apparently Graeme once compiled a 'compendium of very silly games' and Alan mentioned he once lived down the road from Tim and Graeme in Cricklewood and Sandi commented had life been different Alan would have been Bill Oddie.
 
 
GOODIES BOOKS FOR SALE
 
by Frauke Nonnenmacher
 
I've managed to get hold of a copy of 'The Goodies File' and 'The Goodies Book of Records'. I am badly in need of something called an Ames Guide, which I want for lettering my comic strips. If anybody wants to do this trade, email me at <fat.cat@argonet.co.uk>. P.S. Any cartoons you want done, give me a shout...
 
 
DVD DEBATE
 
by David Balston
 
If any of you own a DVD player and live in the UK you may be interested to hear of a competition to vote for the next BBC DVD releases.
 
At http://www.dvd-debate.com/cgi-bin/bbc_competition.cgi  you can suggest the title of your choice, "The Goodies" would be a good choice. OK, so we all know it's unlikely to happen but it's worth a try. If it does happen I would guess the BBC would make the discs region 2 and 4 compatible so the discs will work in Australia.
 
Oh and don't vote more than once because they will know and disqualify you.
 
 
PUSH OFF!
 
by Catherine Sumnall
 
How do you rate your devotion to Monty Python?
 
* I worship the very ground they walk on.
* I know all of the films off by heart, even Life Of Brian.
* I think John Cleese is a pansy but I like the rest of then OK.
 
If you answered yes to all 3, curses, but read this anyway:
 
People have been saying for many years now (30 years to be precise) that Monty Python is the greatest force of good in the modern world - that is apart from the Church, the Government and that amusing person who said that the Life Of Brian was "...surely funded by Russia". Well, it amused me. Anyway, the vast wealth of Python related programmes in the past month has kept a few rapidly ageing writer/performers in work, even if it did feature disappointingly little early material from "At Last The 1948 Show", "How To Irritate People", "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and the like. However, various snippets from sketches were furtively included and the intrepid channel-hopper would have been rewarded by a clan of Sydney Lotterbys and Graham Chapman changing his name to "Bubbles" in Undercover Policemen. The very pinnacle of the evening's entertainment or indeed any evening's entertainment was the inimitable Ferret Song, albeit augmented by John Cleese explaining that he couldn't sing a note, despite having proved otherwise in the clip. If ever a Goodies theme night should come to be, it will have a great legacy to live up to - another 29 years and 51 weeks to wait!
 
 
3. TAKING YOU BACK
 
Remember the days when free to air TV broadcast The Goodies, regularly? David Balston takes you back a few years to 1982, when the final series of The Goodies was first broadcast on London Weekend Television and when this article written by Stewart Knowles appeared in the TV Times.
 
A ROBOT GOODIE? AH WELL, THAT'S PROGRESS
 
In the age of the micro-chip, it was inevitable: automation has crept up on The Goodies. The replacement of one of them by a machine is tonight's dramatic start to a six-week series the tireless trio have made for ITV.
 
Further lunacy will follow in the weeks ahead. For example, next week the lads appear in white tutus and studded boots in a hysterical display of football-ballet. Goodie Graeme Garden (the one in specs), a doctor of medicine who graduated from Cambridge, admits to finding some of these antics quite embarrassing. 'I think any kind of acting can be a very embarrassing business, but you have to go through with it, telling yourself it will make people laugh,' he says.
 
'I think the others find it all equally embarrassing. And if they don't, then they ought to.'
 
But wee Bill Oddie doesn't agree. 'There is nothing more embarrassing to me than pretending to be academic. I don't find the things we do at all embarrassing. Well...perhaps when you are standing around dressed up as a rabbit you might feel like shouting out to the audience that you do have an M.A., though that doesn't qualify you for much these days. And anyway, can you imagine anything more embarrassing than wearing a gown and mortar board?' he asks with a certain amount of feeling. Oddie is the Goodie who, in tonight's episode, is replaced by a machine. 'But I do find alternative employment,' he hastens to point out.
 
Garden is enjoying his own alternative role - that of successful author. Though he has collaborated with his partners in comedy books about The Goodies, his own recently-published book, The Seventh Man, a send-up of British spy disclosures, is his first solo effort, and one which has not been at all badly received.
 
'Only trouble is,' says Garden, 'there are now so many of these disclosures, my book has been overtaken by events.'
 
 
4. PIRATE POST OFFICE
 
Got a comment, opinion or question about the C&G, the club or The Goodies itself? If so, drop us a line at <carrot@oztek.net.au>. Your contribution may be kept anonymous if preferred, however fans of ISIHAC (and particularly Mornington Crescent) are warned that any letters from a 'Mrs Trellis of North Wales' will be duly fed to the sheep (or the hamsters!).
 
 
ISIRTA
 
QUESTION from Quentin Hall
 
Do the ABC Radio National EVER have plans to have on their 5:30 AM comedy slot (7 days a week now!!) "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again"?.
 
I am forced to wait for cassettes to be sent out from UK to get my fix. Surely most of the show would mean something even for Australians!
 
Do I write to Mrs Trellis in North Wales?
 
ANSWER by Alison Bean
 
I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again was on Radio National's 5:30 AM comedy slot earlier this year. Sadly Radio National have a habit of playing ISIRTA once a week for a few months and then putting something else on. But given the popularity of the cassettes (they must have sold out at your local ABC Shop, Quentin) and the fact that ABC Enterprises seem to be in charge of ABC schedules at present (how many cooking shows with companion books, videos and CDs can one island continent cope with!), I've no doubt ISIRTA will be back eventually. To try to speed up the process a bit, check out the ABC's website, http://www.abc.net.au/ , click on Radio National and you're bound to find an e-mail address where you can politely suggest they
re-play it.
 
 
SPIDERBAIT'S RUN
 
QUESTION from Douglas Wulf
 
I heard it once said that there was a video of a song called "Run" by a group called Spiderbait that supposedly contained references to the Goodies in some fashion. Do you know anything about this?
 
ANSWER by Alison Bean
 
The song you're referring to is a cover of the song "Run", used in The Goodies as background music for various chase sequences. "Run" was also one of the first singles Spiderbait released and was one of the major factors in their early success. It was released in 1992, as a single, on their EP "Run" and on their album "Shashavaglava". The video clip features the three members of Spiderbait re-enacting famous scenes from The Goodies. I've never seen it, but apparently it is quite amusing. Spiderbait are now one of Australia's top alternative bands and a few years ago the "Run" EP and their album "Shashavaglava" were re-released, so if you're after a copy they're not too difficult to get, if you're in Australia. Unfortunately, as Spiderbait have had little success outside of Australia, most of their albums including "Shashavaglava" and the "Run" EP are not available on major CD sites like CD Now or Amazon.com.
 
Incidentally, there is at least one more Australian band who have recorded a cover of a Goodies song. That band is Feverdream, who recorded a cover of "The Goodies Theme" on their 1995 album "Moniker". Their version of "The Goodies Theme" also features sound bites from several early Goodies episodes, including "Snooze" and "Pirate Radio". You can purchase a copy of "Moniker" for $12 (Australian dollars) by writing to Feverdream at:
 
Feverdream
GPO Box 118A
Melbourne VIC 3001
AUSTRALIA
 
Please make all cheques out to "Ewan McArthur".
 
 
GOODIES TITLES SEQUENCE
 
QUESTION from Andrew Taylor
 
Some scenes in the opening credits, like The Goodies running through the park with a dog in front or when the microphone exploded and where the bell fell on Tim, do you know what episodes they are from?
 
ANSWER by Alison Bean
 
The scenes where The Goodies run and cycle through the park with the dog and where they sing into the microphone were filmed especially for the series 1 opening credits, as after only 7 episodes there weren't enough visual sequences to fill them up. The bell falling onto Tim was from one of the "Engelbert With The Young Generation" sketches.
 
 
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
  
WHO?
 
Your previous host Jammy Breville was just about to pack it in and go home after 18 fruitless days searching for gold, cream and old tins in the wild wild west of Cornwall when the removal of his tent pegs uncorked a gusher of strawberry jam and scones (and no, I'm not going to set off yet another mindless argument about how to pronounce the ruddy things. That's just silly ... we all know that Tim's right! And Graeme ... but not Bill!)
 
Rather than filling his rucksack and taking a stubborn mule ride back east to enjoy countless tasty morning teas, he foolishly challenged Greedy Graeme to a winner-take-all card game at the OK Tea Rooms in Pennenink, fell for the old "toaster under the table" trick and then got gunned down with a tomato sauce squirter in the Bunfight for good measure. The moral of this story: Butter avoid a sticky situation, or it'll ketchup with you eventually!
 
And now it's over to the "Goodies - Almost Live" concert and your dancing DJ Pan's Grandpa <AKA Brett Allender> for his splendid rendition of the Festering Ferret, but more importantly a review of "PLEASE LET US PLAY" by The Goodies.
  
WHERE? WHEN?
 
On the 1997 CD 'Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies", the 70's album 'The New Goodies LP' and in episode 6/7 'the Goodies - Almost Live'.
  
WHAT?
 
Tim wants to be a rock 'n roll singer, that's what he's longing to be. And with a bit of help from Bill and Graeme, despite them not having very good voices or being able to play anything, he's sure "we can get us a hit" The one fatal flaw to this little plan however is that the audience responds to their plea of "Please let us play" with a resounding "No, no, no!!", despite the lads not wanting money for their efforts, just an opportunity to strut their funky stuff.
 
With Bill on the drums, Graeme picking the banjo and Tim playing his hot triangle, their hopes of getting a big time record on the hit parade should be on the improve, but the audience cover their collective ears and shout "What a load of rubbish" and an even more emphatic "No, no, no" - a rebuff which would surely reduce Tim to blubbering tears on most occasions. Finally though with the help of some glittering costumes, heavy guitar, swinging brass and funky fiddle, the lads are transformed into superstar rock 'n rollers and despite still having terrible voices, also have their request of "Please let us play." granted with a fervent "Yes, yes, yes." from the crazy crowd.
  
WHY?
 
The Goodies previously encountered a similar problem with wanting to become a famous band but not being able to play anything in 'The Stolen Musicians' and solved it with a memorable electric guitar burst of 'Land Of Hope And Glory'- at least until the Music Master sent Gerald to kidnap their pretty glee singers and tell the Goodies that they "ain't good enough!" Four series later and nothing has changed, with an ungrateful audience giving the lads the big thumbs-down at the start of the Almost Live concert. Looking back at the footage nowadays, most of the folks in that studio audience should have been sent away themselves by the fashion police for crimes against good taste in clothing!
 
There are probably just two chances left for the Goodies to play to an appreciative audience that won't shout for them to be sent away. They could be the follow-up act at a Max Bygraves concert, as all of the audience would be asleep by then anyway (though why anyone would want to turn up to one of his concerts in the first place, other than as a desperate insomnia cure, is rather disturbing really!) The second option would be for the lads to perform at Kitten Kon next Easter, where a plea of "Please let us play" would get a unanimous reply of "YES, YES, YES!!" for sure!
 
HOW!
 
Using the black pudding rating system:
 
MUSIC: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
SINGING/LYRICS: II Fair-y Punkmother
HUMOUR: II Fair-y Punkmother
ALL TOGETHER NOW: II Fair-y Punkmother
 
 
6. GOODIES WORD SEARCH
 
compiled by Lisa Manekofsky
 
 
INSTRUCTIONS
 
Try to find all the listed words in the puzzle. Words may be found horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. Words in parentheses do not appear in the puzzle.
 
 
THE PUZZLE

E

L

O

D

R

E

P

P

O

H

E

C

A

P

S

T

B

U

N

F

I

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Z

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S

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F

G

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F

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A

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C

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B

E

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G

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M

U

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K

C

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C

G

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WORD LIST
 
Beanstalk
Kitten (Kong)
Snooze
Big Bunny
Lighthouse
Spacehopper
Bill
Munga
String
Bounce
Orinoco
Teapot
Bunfight
(Black) Pudding
Tim
Cricklewood
(The) Race
Tony (Blackburn)
Ecky Thump
Radio (Goodies)
Trandem
(Funky) Gibbon
Robot
Twinkle
Graeme
Rolf (Harris)
 
 
7. THE END
 
As usual in The End we'll sign off with some sign off material from "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", the hilarious BBC radio show featuring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer and chaired by Humphrey Lyttelton. This excerpt comes from an episode several years ago, when Willie Rushton was still alive and doing the show.
 
The round is "Translations" of obscure phrases from various foreign languages. The guys should be experts at this after years of deciphering Eddie Waring's rugby scores (or at least Graeme's impersonations of Eddie's rugby scores anyway!)
 
Bona fide                     Tim: "Good dog!"
Creche                        Willie: "A car accident in Woking."
Apres ski                     Graeme: "Plaster of Paris."
Carpe diem                  Barry: "Fish of the day."
Bidet                           Willie: "Two days before D-Day!"
Magnum opus              Graeme: "A big Irish cat!"
Avant garde                 Barry: "Next to last coach on the train."
Non compos mentis     Tim: "I don't think that's meant to be fertiliser!"
Sub judicae                  Barry: "The Israeli underground system."
 
And who better to usher us out the C&G door than the chairman of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Humphrey Lyttelton, aided, as always, by The C&G Country Dancers...?
 
Humph:    And so ladies and gentlemen, as the Robin Cook of time wheedles out of the public inquiry of destiny and the Michael Howard of eternity chokes on his own smug smile of fate ...
 
The C&G Country Dancers:    ...we notice it's the end of the C&G (Take your partner by the hand...) we'll be back next month (...listen to the rhythm of the band...) with more news of the super chaps three (...slap him up and down upon the floor...) but for now (...oh, oh, oh...) get cracking (...tickle his feet and hear him giggle...) and buy those Kitten Kon tickets (...then unzip him down the middle...), $80 is very reasonable (...give that gibbon what he's hollerin' for....), write to The Goodies Rule - OK! (Inc.), PO Box 325, Chadstone, VIC, 3148, AUSTRALIA and remember...oooohhhh stuff that gibbon, oooohhhh stuff that gibbon, oooohhhh stuff that gibbon NOW (buy a Kitten Kon ticket, you know it makes sense)!!!
 
 
*********************************************
DISCLAIMER
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1999). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com
*********************************************
 
SUPPLEMENT
 
The solution grid for David McAnally's Special Super Duper Goodies Crossword from C&G #44 is on the following page.
 
Thanks once again to David McAnally, for his excellent effort in devising the crossword.
 
 
SPECIAL SUPER DUPER GOODIES CROSSWORD SOLUTION
 

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