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C&G 54 Jun 2000
#54 Jun 2000 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 24/10/2006

Index

» #54 Jun 2000

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
.
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 54                12th June 2000
 
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
 
CLUB E-MAIL
 
thegoodies@oztek.net.au
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <bretta@wimmera.com.au>.
 
ACE REPORTERS
- Lisa Manekofsky <ljm@cs.brown.edu>
- Alison Bean <bean_is_a_carrot@chickmail.com>
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS
- Tim Brooke-Taylor, Chris F., Pete.
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW – Mummy I Don't Like My Meat
4. THE END – Fishermen's Book Club and Late Arrivals At Kitten Kon.
 
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail thegoodies@oztek.net.au with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
 
A WORD FROM THE PIRATE C&G STATION
 
This is your leader speaking. Here is an important announcement.
 
It has been put about by backsliding revisionary paper hyenas ... whoops, wrong speech, sorry!!
 
Welcome all to the new-look C&G, which admittedly looks much the same as before except for one very important difference. Our founding editor and club President Alison Bean is now residing in the UK for the next couple of years, so I'd like to congratulate her on her magnificent efforts and boundless enthusiasm in building the Goodies fan club up to what it is today. When Alison published the first C&G in November 1995, there were just 23 members and no club homepages, while now we have over 1200 members and the best set of Goodies web pages on the Internet by far, so I'm sure that all club members appreciate Alison's mighty achievements and wish her well during her stay overseas.
 
Meanwhile back here outside the five mile limit, Alison has left behind some giant-sized shoes to fill. Although I'll do my best to clog them up with my own "socking great feet", I will still be reliant on you, the club members, to continue to provide me with your Goodie news, views and support, as it's your club and newsletter just as much as it is mine.
 
Therefore I would also like to echo Alison's thanks from the previous edition of the C&G to all of the people who have contributed to the development of the newsletter and the fan club in general over the past few years, and your ongoing support will be a vital and much appreciated ingredient for continuing this success in the future. In addition I would also like to thank everyone involved with the outstanding triumph of the Kitten Kon convention in Melbourne at Easter time, particularly our Projects Officer Tracey Baird who devoted many long hours over the past eighteen months to ensure that it went off so well.
 
And a final set of thank-you's to my two hard-working assistants:
- Catherine Carter - who is doing an excellent job welcoming the many new members who have signed up in the past month and answering general queries about fan club matters, and
- Tim Aslat - who has prepared an awesome new-look set of club webpages which should be up and running very soon - stay tuned for a "Prune Flash" in the coming weeks!
 
 
KITTEN KON MERCHANDISE
 
We realise that it's now some seven weeks since Kitten Kon and that many of you prepaid for various items of merchandise at the convention on the understanding that these items would be sent out within 2-3 weeks afterwards. We apologise for the additional delay; however we ask you to please be patient and bear in mind that the convention committee members put many hours of their own time into preparing for Kitten Kon over several months at the expense of various other personal commitments, and they are now trying to fulfil these commitments in addition to sorting out the various back-orders for convention merchandise. Here is an update of how things are progressing for the benefit of those of you who are still waiting for merchandise to be delivered:
 
"The Goodies Episode Summaries" Books
 
All back-orders were posted out in the week following Easter.
 
Goodies T-Shirts
 
There have been additional delays in the printing of back-ordered t-shirts because some customers didn't specify sizes or colours or there was no record of receipt, so these details need to be sorted out before printing of the entire batch can be finalised. All people who ordered a t-shirt *AT THE CONVENTION* should have been contacted by Alison Campbell already, however if you haven't received a message from Alison yet, then please e-mail her at <a.campbell@pmci.unimelb.edu.au>
 
Supporter's Packs
 
These are likely to be ready towards the end of June. Please contact Tracey Baird at <tra4ce@bigpond.com> if you have any further queries.
 
Goodies Badges
 
Also likely to be ready in late June or early July. Please contact Tracey if you need any more details.
 
As yet there has been no news about when the video of Kitten Kon will be available for purchase, but watch this space ... we'll let you know as soon as it's ready!
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail thegoodies@oztek.net.au with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
 
RADIO NATIONAL ISIRTA GOODIES
 
Chris F. informs us that ABC Radio National are playing an episode of "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" at 5:30 am every Tuesday, which features all three Goodies, amongst others.
 
 
GOODIES SKIN FOR WINAMP SOUND PLAYER
 
Pete has spotted an interesting website which contains a link to downloading a Goodies-themed skin for Winamp, and includes a very favourable critic's review, especially for the cool cursors. Point your browser to http://www.winamp.com/customize/detail.jhtml?componentId=2428
 
 
ISIHAC'S "LITTLE BOOK OF MORNINGTON CRESCENT" IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE!
by Lisa Manekofsky
 
I was checking amazon.co.uk's web site, to see if they had a publication date for "The Little Book of Mornington Crescent". I saw that it's still listed as "Not Yet Available", with no expected publication date. However, three people have written in to review it (giving it 5 out of 5 stars each). They seem to be real Mornington Crescent experts, which might explain how they're able to review books that aren't even available yet... ;)
 
For those who are curious, here's the URL
 
 
TIM ON "MERRICK AND ROSSO"
by Alison Bean.
 
Any fans of Merrick and Rosso from Triple J should head to http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/merrickandrosso/photos/default.htm
to see their photo with Tim and the waistcoat taken after his interview with them in April regarding Kitten Kon.
 
 
EVEN THE GOODIES ARE GOODIESPOTTING THESE DAYS!
 
It's a real bonus for the C&G and the fan club in general when even the Goodies tell us where they have spotted!!! themselves, so many thanks to Tim Brooke-Taylor for pointing out an excellent site at http://homepages.go.com/~britpics/goodies/goodies.htm
which contains a considerable number of photos from the memorable "Politics" episode which kicked off the final BBC series in 1980. A selection of these photos also feature in the pictures pages of our club website at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/pics2.html .
 
 
"I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE" TAPING - 22 May 2000
by Lisa Manekofsky
 
A taping of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" was held at The Royal Theatre, Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent on 22 May. The teams consisted of Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jeremy Hardy, Barry Cryer and Sandi Toksvig. Humphrey Lyttelton and Colin Sell were present, in their respective roles as Chairman and pianist. Two shows were taped that evening; they were scheduled to be broadcast on 5 June and 12 June.
 
The audience was treated to many popular games over the course of the evening, including "One Song to the Tune of Another", "Cheddar Gorge", "Sound Charades", "Pick Up Song" and, of course, "Mornington Crescent".
 
Sandi Toksvig was taking Graeme Garden's place for the evening. At the beginning of the first show, Tim glanced over in her direction and said something to the effect of, "maybe I'm just getting old, but Graeme is starting to look strangely attractive" (producing a burst of laughter from Sandi).
 
One of the many highlights of the evening came during a round of "One Song to the Tune of Another". Jeremy Hardy was having tremendous difficulty in keeping to the tune, to the great amusement of the audience and the other performers. At one point, he actually put his hands over his ears to block out external noises (such as Colin's playing the correct tune ;) as he sang. At the conclusion of Jeremy's performance, Colin pulled out a white handkerchief and waved it in a gesture of defeat. One of the other performers remarked that it appeared that Jeremy was attempting to sing one song to the tune of two other songs!
 
It was a very enjoyable evening and I'm sure that the broadcasts of these shows will not fail to delight fans of the show.
 
 
SAYS WHO? SAYS GRAEME!
by Alison Bean.
 
If you've been suffering from the Aussie dollar/UK pound exchange-rate blues, an excellent way to be entertained for free in London is to attend the recording of a BBC radio show. So some friends and I trooped down to the Drill Hall Theatre to see Says Who? a pilot comedy show for BBC Radio 2 on 8th June.
 
Says Who? is a spoof chat show hosted by Graeme Garden and the guests are any array of celebrities played by four impressionists. The main 'panellists' were Germaine Greer, William Hague (leader of the opposition) and Chris Eubanks (English boxer) and there were also appearances by Julian Clary, Billy Connolly, Michael Caine, Des Lynham and others. Jan Ravens played Germaine Greer and Terry Alderton played Chris Eubanks, but I can't remember the names of the other panel members (largely because I'd never heard of them!). The panel discussed various topics such as celebrities and Euro 2000 (which grips this country like a plague at the moment).
 
Graeme made an excellent chairman, while Jan Ravens did a brilliant Germaine Greer impression and there were some funny Australian jokes about Rolf Harris and the treatment of Aborigines. Highlights included a brilliantly ironic Doctor Who spoof, with an over-acting doctor and a bimbo companion and an 'extract' from a pilot TV show which starred Rolf and Germaine and was a cross between Skippy and Animal Hospital (scary!). However, speaking as an Australian and Germaine Greer fan I thought some of the other Australian and Greer jokes were rather stupid and obvious.
 
The guy playing Michael Caine was very good and much humour came from Michael constantly bringing the topic back to how the world would be better if cars ran on soup. Another panelist did an impression of Dale Winton who is apparently a game show host. This was very funny even though I had no idea who Dale Winton is and being able to generate laughs not purely from the impressions was one of the strong points of the show.
 
The whole thing was scripted and there was little improvisation; it had lots of funny moments but was hardly brilliant. What it needed in my opinion was to be shorter (it ran for well over an hour and a half) and tighter. It was only a pilot, but it is a promising idea and with a better script I could see it becoming a series.
 
 
THE COMPLETE GOODIES
 
The C&G is proud to endorse the ultimate Goodies reference book - "The Complete Goodies" by Robert Ross. "The Complete Goodies" was launched by Robert and all three Goodies at a special gala function in London on May 23rd and can be ordered via a link from the Goodies Rule - OK web site at http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/bookshop.html .
 
A number of our club members were fortunate enough to attend the book launch in person, and Lisa Manekofsky has kindly provided us with the following report on the evening:
 
"The Goodies - In Person" at the National Film Theatre in London (23 May 2000)
 
On Tuesday, 23 May 2000, the National Film Theatre in London hosted an event entitled "The Goodies - In Person".   The event had been organized by Robert Ross, who is the author of a new book about The Goodies that was being launched that night. It had been stated at the Kitten Kon convention last month that the NFT event had sold out very quickly (reportedly in only 2 1/2 days). Apparently there weren't enough seats to meet the demand; upon arrival at the theatre we saw that there were many of people waiting in the stand-by line, in hopes that some tickets would become available. 
 
The Goodies event was held in the largest theatre of the NFT, which seats about 500 people. The audience appeared to span a wide range of ages, from college age to people in their 60's (that's my best guess, at least). The "Yum Yum, Best of the Goodies" CD was being playing for the audience as they waited for the event to begin.
 
A little after 6:30 p.m., Robert Ross was introduced. Robert explained that we would first be shown an episode of The Goodies, "The Movies", and then the threesome themselves would be appearing on stage. "The Movies" episode, along with the other footage that was shown that evening, was shown on a large screen and the NFT had obtained a beautiful quality print. The audience thoroughly enjoyed the episode from the opening credits onwards; when the famous clip of Twinkle the kitten knocking over the Post Office Tower appeared in the opening credits I heard sounds of pleased recognition from fans who obviously hadn't seen this in quite a while. 
 
At the end of the episode Robert Ross came back to the stage (which was set up in front of the screen) and began to introduce the Goodies, who had been watching the episode from the projection booth at the back of the theatre. Robert introduced Tim first, and there was a thunderous round of applause and cheers from the audience. I think Robert expected the applause to die down a bit so he could introduce the other two Goodies; once it became apparent that this wasn't going to happen Robert had to strain his voice to introduce Graeme and Bill, who came strolling down the aisle after Tim as the applause and cheering got even more enthusiastic. Robert and the Goodies took seats on the stage and the applause finally died down.
 
Tim, Graeme, and Bill were obviously pleased with the reception and they seemed to be having a great time. Robert took on the role of interviewer. When he asked the first question Bill asked to whom it was addressed. Bill explained that he had a bad habit of interrupting and said that he was not going to do that tonight, he would only reply when he was addressed. This provided a cue for Tim to jump in and become the self-designated interrupter for the evening. ;) On several occasions throughout the question and answer session Robert failed to address a question to a specific Goodie. On one of those occasions Bill and Tim said they'd both give their version of the answer and then they'd let Graeme state what the truth actually was (although Graeme ended up by saying that Bill and Tim had jointly given an accurate account). Other times Tim made a point of addressing one of Robert's questions to Graeme, to make sure he didn't fall into his accustomed role of being the quiet one of the trio in interviews (allowing Tim to once again show the moderator skills that he demonstrated so capably during the videoconference at Kitten Kon).
 
During the Question and Answer session the Goodies told many of the stories that were told at Kitten Kon, either by Tim during one of his Q&A sessions or during the videoconference in which all three Goodies participated. In general, I think the convention audience may have gotten more details, but this certainly wasn't true in all cases. One fun exception was when the Goodies were discussing the infamous incident in which a man laughed himself to death while watching the "Kung Fu Kapers"/"Ecky Thump" episode. They said that the minister at the man's funeral mentioned that the widow was going to write to the Goodies to thank them for making her husband's last moments so happy; this was how the press picked up the story (if I understood correctly). I believe it was Tim who then said this had led the Goodies to joke about some advertisements which they obviously couldn't actually do for their series (in the interests of good taste) - in a dramatic voice, like the ones used in ads for horror movies, he gave some examples along the lines of "The Goodies - do you dare to watch?" or "can you survive to the end of the episode?".
 
The NFT was filming the event for their archives, according to the handout for the evening. A small snag came up at one point.   The Goodies were telling the story about the special effects crew trying to figure out how to film the scene from Kitten Kon in which the Goodies' characters race off the roof of a building and, in best cartoon tradition, hang in mid-air for a few seconds, look down, smile at the camera, and *then* fall. In his enthusiasm to explain the scene, Bill dashed to the front of the stage as Tim and Graeme called out to tell him he had moved out of the camera shot. Robert handed Bill a microphone (since he had moved away from the mike in front of his seat); Bill held the microphone for a few seconds and started to use it. However, he then handed it back to Robert so that he (Bill) could continue his explanation, which included gesturing with his hands, for the live audience without being encumbered by holding the microphone (while Tim and Graeme just took it in stride). It was quite funny to see Bill's enthusiasm, although I suspect that the videographer might not have felt the same way. ;)
 
Another highlight came when Bill was explaining that he particularly enjoyed the planning stage of making the Goodies episodes. This involved meeting with the director, special effects team, and other members of the crew to plan out how they were going to make the episodes prior to actually doing the filming. During this explanation Bill said that he didn't consider himself to be much of a performer. He then paused and looked over at Tim and Graeme, with a big grin on his face.   Graeme said something like "don't beat yourself up over it", paused, and then he and Tim said together (in perfect unison), "let us do that for you". It was obviously an old joke between friends and it got a very big laugh from the audience.
 
During the course of the Question & Answer session three pieces of footage were shown. The first was the opening scene from the first episode of The Goodies, "The Tower of London" (which shows the Goodies arriving at their new office and getting their first job). In order to show the clip, the lights were lowered in the theatre and Robert and the Goodies remained seated on the stage, in front of and just below the screen. Robert, Graeme, and Tim were able to turn their chairs a bit so they could see the screen. Bill, however, would have had to turn his chair completely around to be able to see the screen. Instead of doing so, he initially knelt down on the floor in front of his chair. Although this obviously wasn't his intention, it almost appeared that he was kneeling down to the images on the screen (which seemed like a funny thought to me). As the clip played there was a slightly surreal moment - the real life Goodies had, probably by coincidence, sat down on the stage in the order in which they often lined up in the episodes (by height, with Tim in the middle). For a few seconds, the on-screen characters were lined up almost exactly over their real-life counterparts. Perhaps this isn't overly noteworthy, but I found it amusing.
 
Later in the Q&A session Robert introduced a clip from the LWT episode "Change of Life". They showed a scene in which the Goodies are competing against a robot (which had been built by Graeme's character in the earlier LWT episode, "Robot") to prove that they weren't too old to still be the Goodies. The scene features a lot of self parody and references to classic episodes such as "Kitten Kong", "The Goodies and the Beanstalk", and "Kung Fu Kapers"/"Ecky Thump". I think the Goodies themselves were quite interested to see this footage; I heard at least one of them (Bill, I think) say that he hadn't seen it in a very long time.
 
After what seemed like far too short a time, the event was reaching its conclusion. However, before it ended Robert introduced one final piece of footage - the Goodies performing "The Funky Gibbon" on "Top of the Pops". The clip included Tony Blackburn introducing the Goodies; the audience broke into laughter as soon as they saw Tony on the screen (though it might partially have been due to his mid-1970s haircut). As the clip was playing I noticed Tim and Graeme having a conversation about it; I was hoping they'd get a chance to make some comments afterwards. However, it appeared that this footage had been planned as the closing for the event; as soon as the TOTP clip finished and the lights came up in the theatre Robert thanked everyone for coming and he, Bill, Tim, and Graeme received another long round of applause. Before leaving the stage Tim spotted retired Goodies Rule - OK President Alison Bean in the audience and he made sure to point her out to Graeme, who was standing next to him.
 
After the conclusion of the event a very long line of people queued up to purchase Robert Ross's new book and to get it autographed by the three Goodies. I think the only complaint that could have been made was that the evening seemed to go by much too quickly; here's hoping that there will indeed be another such event in the near future!
 
 
"The Goodies - In Person" Handout
 
Attendees at "The Goodies - In Person" evening also received a handout containing some interesting background information, and again many thanks to Lisa Manekofsky for transcribing the text for our enjoyment:
 
Send in the Clowns: TV Comedy
The Goodies - In Person
 
We are delighted to welcome Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor - The Goodies - to the NFT stage to be interviewed by Robert Ross.
 
Robert Ross is the author of The Carry On Companion, Monty Python Encyclopedia, Benny Hill: The Complete Companion, Carry On Uncensored and Last of the Summer Wine: The Finest Vintage.
 
His latest publication, The Complete Goodies (published by B. T. Batsford) is launched tonight. Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie and Robert Ross will be signing copies in the foyer following this presentation.
 
The Goodies
 
They did anything, any time, and they ruled the `70s because of it.  Living at `No fixed Abode, Cricklewood', The Goodies patrolled North-west London on their trusty three-seater bike, leaving behind them a wake of chaos and lunacy. A bearded hippie, a mad scientist and a true Brit, The Goodies eccentric adventures messed with the minds of an entire generation.
 
`We just went straight ahead and wrote the most stupid bloody things we could come up with,' muses Bill Oddie. `Looking back on our early days,' he continues, `I can't believe that we did some of those things. And I don't mean that in a congratulatory sense, quite the opposite, because I look at some of the old episodes and wonder what the hell we were doing.'
 
`I don't think we should have stopped earlier, though,' adds Graeme Garden, `We should have started later.' Bill agrees, `That's a perfect way of putting it, because by about 1974 we finally started to get the hang of things.'
 
Graeme has a theory: `Back in the old days the BBC was very supportive of new TV shows. If your first series wasn't that great, they would trust you enough to grow and develop into the second one. It wouldn't have happened with the commercial companies, because if you didn't get the ratings straight away, you were out.' Ah, the Beeb. Although in later years the BBC dumped The Goodies in favour of the more `alternative' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, back in the days of flared trousers and glam rock, the BBC was the very picture of tolerance and generosity. `Best of all,' adds Graeme, `we rapidly got ourselves - perhaps earlier than we believed was possible - into a situation where we were allowed to do whatever we wanted to do,' and eventually, as Bill points out, they `delivered the goods.'
 
The Goodies were a hit. Kids and parents around the country tuned in every week to see what kind of bizarreness the guys would get themselves into, and since Bill and Graeme wrote all of the shows (Tim Brooke-Taylor also had a minor writing credit for a while, but the others soon put a stop to that), they only had themselves to blame for the ensuing madness. `And as you may have observed,' points out Bill, `since Graeme and I wrote the scripts, Tim had to do most of the difficult and dangerous bits. Looking back over the whole series, though, I think we became a bit of a victim of our own style. I actually prefer the episodes where we had a bit more to say. I think we were better actors eventually - and I do mean eventually - than we allowed ourselves to be. I was particularly bad in the first two or three series. Tim was variable, and Graeme was consistent - he was never any good! It's a pity, though, that we didn't make more shows where we were able to act, and I think we'd do it even better now than we did then, to be honest. But the public liked the running about!'
 
Every loyal Goodies fan will no doubt remember `The Funky Gibbon', `The Inbetweenees' and the four or five other novelty pop hits the guys churned out. `It was a joke come true,' chuckles Bill. `A bloke I used to play charity football with, who was a record producer, quite rightly saw an opportunity there, and since the music was on the show, it was self-promoting.'
 
And so The Goodies made it on to Top of the Pops. Graeme picks up the story. `When we first went there, I remember thinking that the last thing the show needed was three sad old men, but once we got there, we realised that all the other acts were sad old men too, and that made us feel a lot better.' Bill interrupts: `We're talking Mud, Bay City Rollers, Gary Glitter and Neil Sedaka all introduced by a sad old paunchy DJ - we all felt quite young then, like New Kids on the Block!'
 
credited to Marshall Julius, "What's On," 7 September 1994
 
Note at the end of the credits: Programme notes and credits compiled by Filmographic Services, bfi National Library. Notes may be edited or abridged.
 
 
3. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
 
WHO?
 
Your previous DJ, Oliver Reed Of The Paper, Thanks Dear has been abducted by the Lone Scout (plus one!), who has planted a bomb underneath him. We're desperately trying to come up with the ransom money so that the Lone Scout will keep his promise ... and blow Ollie up! ... but for now we'll cross to your digesting DJ Sir Loin It's Been Good To Gnaw You (AKA Brett Allender) and his review of "MUMMY I DON'T LIKE MY MEAT" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
On the 70's album "The Goodies Sing Songs From The Goodies" (reissued later as "The World Of The Goodies") and in the "Superstar" special from 1973.
 
WHAT?
 
The Goodies take on the roles of a desperately poor family, with Bill as the father who hasn't worked for two years due to his rheumatic leg, Graeme as his sad old wife and Tim as the baby daughter, who is crying because she is hungry. The family also has a poodle, a cat and a budgie - three more hungry mouths to feed - but dear old Dad soon hits upon the bright idea of sacrificing the pets to feed the rest of the family, albeit with some pangs of guilt (to offset the pangs of hunger) as he croons "Lord please forgive what I'm doing!" while trying to pass the budgie off as chicken!
 
However his best laid plans go somewhat awry, as his baby daughter not only protests that she doesn't like her meat, but also asks where Joey the budgie is and wonders why the collection of feathers stuck together in the birdcage doesn't sing anymore! Dad then plans to curry the poodle, which should last them a couple of days, but while he'll try to disguise it so she won't recognise it, what will he do when she says "Mummy I don't like my meat". "Hush child, don't speak while you're eating, though something inside her's repeating, "Mummy I don't like my meat"!"
 
And if that's not sickening enough, the daughter then finds a collar stuck in her throat and asks where Bonzo the dog is, only to get the reassuring reply from Dad of "Hush child, Bonzo is in the oven ... IN HEAVEN!!", then notices that Tiddles the cat and Colin the tortoise have also mysteriously gone missing - "And Mummy ... WHERE'S DADDY??!!" Erk, suddenly I don't feel at all well for some strange reason!
 
WHY?
 
The song originated as Bill's brainwave for winning the talent quest on the Maxie Grease Show in "Superstar", with the contestants being judged by their ability to "make Granny cry" inside the Granny-O-Meter. However instead of the song being a tear jerker, it ended up being a real stomach jerker for Graeme, Tim and most of the audience of old crones, who were revolted by the whole idea. Bill remained true to his gut feeling though, later boiling up a bunny rabbit on the Rabid Frost Show which set off an animal-led uprising, and even Graeme offered up tasty treats like hamsterburgers and gerbil dumplings at his Rumbling Tum Restaurant in the very final episode of The Goodies. If only Bill had just stuck with his brilliant idea of cooking up the furniture to avoid imminent starvation in "The End" episode though, rather than giving our local takeaway shops any bright ideas. Hot dogs, cat-seroles and rat-atouille are definitely off my menu until after the next music review now!
 
HOW!
 
Using the patented Black Pudding Ratings System:
 
MUSIC:                             II Fair-y Punkmother
SINGING/LYRICS:          III Goody Goody Yum Yum
HUMOUR:                       III 1/2 Officially Goodie
ALL TOGETHER NOW: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
 
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
 
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III   - Goody goody yum yum.
II    - Fair-y punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' pikelets.
 
**UPCOMING REVIEWS**
July: Episode Summary: "The New Office".
August: Music Review: "Cricklewood"
 
 
4. THE END
 
As usual, we conclude the C&G with a round from "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" the improvised comedy panel show staring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden and chaired by Humphrey Lyttleton, with Colin Sell at the piano and the lovely Samantha and Sven scoring wherever they go. "ISIHAC" has been going for more than 30 series and is an icon of British radio comedy and a number of books and audio cassettes from the series are available from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/shop.html .
 
This month's "ISIHAC" round is "Fishermen's Book Club" with guest panelist Tony Hawks, and was played while Samantha nipped out to enjoy a local portion of winkles in cider!
 
Tony:        "Far From The Madding Trout"
Graeme:    "The Lord Of The Flies by JR Hartley"
Barry:       "Catch 22"
Tim:         "There's a sequel to the Barchester Chronicles called the Crochester Barnacles!"
Barry:       "Was that by Anthony Scallop?!"
Tim:         "It is now!"
Tony:        "The Sardinic Verses by Salmon Rushdie!"
Barry:      "Moll Flounders"
Tim:            "Lady Chatterley's Lobster"
Graeme:      "And if you don't fancy a book, there's always top shelf prawn!"
Tim:            "Great Exaggerations"
Graeme:      "The Little Book Of Clam"
 
And as if those puns aren't fishy enough, here's a further round from our very own "ISIHAC" panel at Kitten Kon, which featured Tim Brooke-Taylor as "Humph for a day" and panelists Tracey Baird, Gavin Hawkins, Alison Bean and Brett Allender. These were some of the "Late Arrivals at Kitten Kon" who ought to be applauded for their eminently good sense in not turning up until we had almost finished our panel!
 
* Mr & Mrs Out Kitten Kong's Gonna Get Ya and their son Luke Out Kitten Kong's Gonna Get Ya
 
* Mr & Mrs Master and their ill cow, the Moo Sick Master!
 
* Mr & Mrs Bennett We're Not Going To Bloody Bognor Again, Are We and their son Gordon Bennett We're Not Going To Bloody Bognor Again, Are We.
 
* Mrs Mas Do Not Touch Me and her father Chris Mas Do Not Touch Me
 
* It's cabaret time! Here comes Frank N. Fido, Polly Ticks, Sue Perstar and her camel Lot.
 
* Mr & Mrs Oddie Hell He's Still Out Birdwatching and their son Bill Oddie Hell He's Still Out Birdwatching.
 
* Mr & Mrs Harmonic Glee Club Rock And Roll Band and their son Phil Harmonic Glee Club Rock And Roll Band
 
* Mr & Mrs Ers To Desiree Carthorse and their son Nick Ers To Desiree Carthorse
 
* Mr & Mrs You Believe That The ABC Won't Rescreen The Goodies and their son Ken You Believe That The ABC Won't Rescreen The Goodies.
 
* Mr & Mrs Wants To Be A Millionaire, I Do and their son Hugh Wants To Be A Millionaire, I Do.
 
* Mr & Mrs Let Rolf Harris Back Into Australia Again and their son Neville Let Rolf Harris Back Into Australia Again.
 
* Mr & Mrs Lads Of The MCC and their son, the Wee Arthur Lads Of The MCC.
 
And so ladies and gentlemen, as the tyrannosaurus rex of time upends the disused railway station of eternity and the spoilt robot of fate throws up all over the bearded, cross-dressed nanny of destiny, we notice that it's the end of this month's C&G, so au revoir - "no, goodbye!" - until the next edition on July 12th.
 
 
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DISCLAIMER
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2000). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com
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