The Official Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club Website

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

SPECIAL 100TH EDITION 12th April 2004

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When I started exploring the internet in 1995 one of the first things I did was search for websites about The Goodies. I found pitifully few, but was impressed by Melinda Casino's because it contained information about The Goodies that I didn't know. Melinda later started an internet-based fan club for The Goodies and produced a regular newsletter that contained even more information about the Goodies that I didn't know. After a short time Melinda announced her retirement from fan activities, but she agreed to help publicise a new group, which I started. By the time I sent out the first C&G, only 17 people had joined the group, but with the advent of a website and further publicity this steadily rose.

If you're one of those original 17, I'd like to thank you for sticking with us, because, frankly, those first few issues were a bit ropey (never mind the spelling mistakes). There were no feature articles and very little current news, just a few half-remembered snippets of Goodies info and a hope that others would be willing to contribute. By the time I retired as editor after four and a half years the C&G had a team of regular and semi-regular writers whose work was read by over a thousand people around the world each month. Now that I no longer edit the newsletter none of those readers is more enthusiastic than I and I am continually surprised and delighted by the C&G's contents each month.

The C&G's first feature article was 'The Goodies vs The ABC' by Vanessa Meachan with Rohan Byrnes. This mammoth three-parter (spread across C&Gs #10, #12 and #13) provided a detailed list of all the bits censored by the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) when it screened The Goodies in the 70s and 80s. Andrew Pixley was able to provide the edited sections from 'Commonwealth Games' (episode 2.2) for C&G #49, as well as a definitive list of episode names in C&G #43 and a wonderful article about the Goodies sketches for 'Engelbert and the New Generation' in C&G #45.

Regular contributors such as David Balston, Keith Topping, Catherine Sumnall and Matthew K. Sharp provided many reviews of the stage, TV and radio appearances of Tim, Bill and Graeme. Keith got the ball rolling in C&G #17 with a glowing review of the nature series 'Birding with Bill Oddie'. David Balston contributed many excellent reviews, including the 'If I Ruled The World' pilot (C&G #19), the recording of 'If I Ruled The World' episode 1.6 (C&G #29), the radio programmes 'This Won't Hurt' with Graeme Garden and 'WowFabGroovy' with Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor's pantomime appearances ('Aladdin' - C&G #26 and 'Jack in the Beanstalk' - C&G #38).

Catherine Sumnall's astonishing output filled many an issue. In C&Gs #43, #44 and #45 alone she reviewed Bill Oddie's stage show 'Follow That Bird, typed up an interview with Bill from the local paper, then managed to get Bill to answer some questions for the C&G, before reminding us that Bill did a Kentucky Fried Chicken advert (so much for the birds!), reviewing 'Marty' (the 1960s sketch show co-starring Tim Brooke-Taylor) and provided this amusing tit-bit:

In a recent edition of 'The News Quiz' (Radio 4's even funnier answer to the excellent 'Have I Got News For You') the inimitable Jeremy Hardy gave this as his press cutting (NB. this is from memory and therefore probably hopelessly inaccurate): "I was talking to my friend Graeme Garden in Oxfordshire last week, 'cos we were smashing up hotels in a cocaine-fuelled frenzy [BIG LAUGH FROM AUDIENCE] and he told me he'd heard on the news something about police recruitment from ethnic minorities. A West Indian spokesman stood up and said: 'We've got a lot of bright intelligent young people in this community. We don't want them joining the police force'."

Matthew K. Sharp, already a legend for his 'Goodies Fact File' and various websites, wrote several reviews for the C&G. 'The Lost Films of Orson Welles', about a series of short comedy films featuring Orson Welles, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden appeared in C&G #18, while a review of the CD compilation 'Yum, Yum - The Best of The Goodies' was a highlight of C&G #20.

From the start the C&Gs featured short tit-bits of information, alongside lengthier articles. An ongoing theme in the early days was the compilation of a list of jokes and comic themes that were recycled in other Brooke-Taylor/Garden/Oddie projects, along with lists of costumes and props that turned up in other BBC productions. See C&Gs #4-6 for details. C&G #16 also brought the news that 'Red Dwarf' and the Australian sitcom 'Hey Dad' had ripped off jokes from The Goodies, which is very un-chum-like behaviour in anyone's book.

Magazine and newspaper articles, even extracts from books were typed up for the C&G. David McAnally started the trend in C&G #3 by typing-up the cover notes from a whole stack of books by The Goodies. Keith Topping typed-up a Radio Times article about a typical day in the life of Bill Oddie in C&G #30 and Jonathan Sloman must have barely had time to recover between typing up parts of The Goodies Annual 1974 for C&Gs #42 and #44, before he tackled Tim and Graeme's appearances on Call My Bluff in C&G #46.

Both Tim and Graeme contacted the club in 1997. Tim's e-mail to the club featured right at the start of C&G #22 and a mere one issue later we had him answering questions on everything from his reaction to the ABC censoring the shows, to the Monty Python versus The Goodies issue. In his final question and answer session (C&G #26) Tim was asked what he thought of the internet. His answer? "It's worth it alone for C&G." Bless.

A comment made by Bill Oddie about the scripting of The Goodies during his appearance on the 1996 Australian television retrospective '40 Years of TV Stars' generated a lot of controversy in C&Gs #11 and #12. "Graeme and I wrote it with Tim's pen, basically. And we used to pay him a certain amount of money to keep out of the way and, um, he had a few ideas, though we said 'Well that's it, thank you very much, you go away and play golf'." Ouch!

"I think the film 'Independence Day' would by an easy target. It would be called, 'The Goodies Day of Independence' and see a return of the mysterious trombone-playing aliens who first invaded the Knutter's Knoll Nightspot in 1979: Massive flying saucers have covered the skies of the Earth and destroyed everything but the Salvation Army hostels. All Salvo trombonists have been abducted and The Goodies must leap into action and attempt a daring rescue. Graeme would play the goofy scientist (Jeff Goldblum character), Bill would play the 'kick arse' soldier (Will Smith character) and Tim would play the patriotic President (Bill Pullman character). The Goodies must salvage their abandoned moonrocket (from the failed 1973 mission to rescue space bunnies Flopsy and Spiro) in order to penetrate the invader's craft and destroy it with one of Graeme's home made atom bombs. Tim would act as a 'Presidential Supernun' and plant the atomic device..."

Over the years many people wrote in with questions and were provided with answers. A query about the black and white episodes of The Goodies was resolved over several issues (C&Gs #47 & #48), while people wanting to know where they could buy Goodies videos seemed to write in to every other issue. But no one seemed to know anything further about this interesting Goodies sighting from Hugh McGuiness, which appeared way back in C&G #4: "I have a (comic) book co-authored by BO: "Supertot and the Robotty Potty Plot" (I kid you not :-). It's about a baby with super powers foiling an alien invasion." I'll ask the question again...anyone got any more info?

Over the years The Goodies Rule - OK! has held numerous video nights and Kitten Kon, a three-day convention. These were invariably written up in a style that suggested that the main participants hadn't quite recovered. Following Kitten Kon a special C&G was written, but perhaps the most bizarre gathering was Nick McCarthy's third Melbourne video night. Plugging the event in C&G #30 Nick said: "You know it makes sense! If it doesn't, then my cattle-prod comes out of storage!" Thankfully it didn't.

The "Kitten Kon" convention held in Melbourne during Easter 2000, and featuring the legendary Tim-Brooke-Taylor, is by far the greatest achievement of "The Goodies Rule OK" to date and certainly worth revisiting in our 100th C&G. Our thanks once again to everyone who made it the outstanding success that it was - particularly those people specifically mentioned in the Kitten Kon C&G, http://www.goodiesruleok.com/showcag.php?issue=KittenKon , which is well worth a read if you haven't seen it before. The following review is an extract from the Kitten Kon C&G of May 2000, written by Alison Bean (with Brett Allender's biro!):

Back in November 1996 when I first had the idea for a Goodies convention, I never thought it would actually happen. Or if it did happen that it would work. Luckily for me and the rest of you who attended Kitten Kon three weeks ago, someone else was loony enough to think that a Goodies convention would work. That someone was Tracey Baird. Without Tracey, Kitten Kon wouldn't have happened. It was a brilliant convention and we owe it all to Tracey's hard work and dedication.

The rest of the Kitten Kon team were fantastic too - Brett, Tom, Richard, Liz, Dean, Alison and Catherine. They, Tracey and I worked hard on Kitten Kon in the hope that it would be as successful as it was. The ultimate reward was when people started coming up to us and telling us how much fun they were having or that it was the best convention they had ever been to; never mind that we were having a great time or that we were raising thousands of the dollars for the Royal Melbourne Children's Hospital.

Organised by Richard Nolan, this quiz night pitted teams of fans against each other as they answered eight rounds of questions on The Goodies, British comedy and cult British TV. The grand prize was a certificate for every team member which stated that they had hereby been deemed "Officially Amazing" by Tim Brooke-Taylor (not endorsed by the bespectacled Goody or the short hairy one).

Two teams drew for first place: those captained by C&G Ace Reporter David Balston and Goodies guru Matthew K. Sharp. David and Matthew were summoned forth to answer a tie-breaking question - "Which football team does Tim Brooke-Taylor support?" David provided the correct answer - Derby County, much to the disgust of Matthew ("I don't like sport!"). The wooden spoon went to The RubberDuckies, whose enthusiasm and distinct lack of knowledge was beloved by all.

Described by one fan affectionately as "the greatest name dropping session of all time", these Q&As were highly entertaining and not nearly long enough. After a wrestling-style introduction, and to great applause, Tim Brooke-Taylor took to the stage and delighted fans with stories about Prince Charles, Orson Welles, Bill Oddie's sex life, filming The Goodies and being a pop star. The only thing he wouldn't talk about was his bellybutton and he took great pains to remind us organisers that he had clearly stated that he would NOT discuss this issue!

Auctioneer Tom Marwede and cashier Richard Nolan did a brilliant job as the money kept rolling in, while Alison Bean and Catherine Carter carried on like bikini-clad girls at boxing matches displaying the lots to the crowd. Eager bidders fought it out for four of Tim's Goodies scripts, which went for between $100 and $150 each, and Goodies books signed by all three Goodies, which also went for over $100.

A few brave souls emerged from the Dallas Brooks Hall's toilets-cum-change-rooms around 7.30pm on Saturday clad in some rather strange outfits. Brett Allender made a smashing "Grand Master of Ecky Thump" with black belt and braces in place and a genuine Ecky Thump flat cap atop his noggin. Alison Bean tried to look suave as Greedy Graeme, but ruined the effect slightly by flashing her tomatoes at anyone who cared. Tracey Baird's Union Jack waistcoat was so accurate that Tim thought it was his and Nick McCarthy's Graeme costume was impeccable from the fuzzy chops to the leather knee patches and it greatly impressed the real Graeme in the video chat.

Lisa Clark destroyed a jumper and trousers to become a moth-eaten Jolly Rock lighthouse keeper and the Wauchope family (AKA The Imperials) were bizarre and delightful as a crowd of eager patriots waving at the Queen. Others came as a credible Bill Oddie and a Doctor Who alien (wrong convention, dear!). But Peter Wearden's long search for a bath plug with a ring on it paid off as he took first prize as Mr Saturday Night Grease. Peter's ability to do the Disco Heave on cue won him many fans, as did his open neck shirt and tight flares.

For weeks phone calls and e-mails had been bouncing back and forth between the UK and Australia in the hope that we could pull this off. Five working days before Good Friday the Dallas Brooks Centre didn't have an ISDN line and Ed Brooke-Taylor (son of Tim and video phone supremo) had only just found a local tech who was willing to run the Melbourne end - and he was based in Adelaide. We were cutting it fine, but thanks to the hard work of Ed (of Motion Media, UK) and David Goss (of GVT Microbits, Adelaide), Telstra (Australian phone company) installed the line in time and we were all set.

And so a black and white, fuzzy image of Graeme and Bill appeared on the screen, which was quickly replaced by a crystal-clear, colour one, over 250 people (the committee in particular), went wild. When we eventually shut up and let Graeme and Bill speak we were treated to an hour and twenty minutes of hilarious banter between them and Tim. Highlights included Graeme's hideous curly, orange toupee, which Bill later whipped off Graeme's head to great cheers; Bill and Graeme's claim that Tim wasn't in fact Tim, but some bloke they'd met in a pub and sent down to Australia; Bill's impression of Rolf Harris and Graeme's impressions of Bananaman and Eddie Waring. An attempt to get Bill to sing "Wild Thing" didn't work because of the sound lag, but Bill delighted many when he revealed that he has the original recordings of many of the Goodies songs from the series, which do not appear on the albums. We can only hope that he plans to release them on CD at some stage.

This was quite an emotional affair for anyone involved with the Kon and many hugs and kisses were exchanged during and after. Alison unwittingly did a Gwenyth Paltrow by thanking almost everyone who had ever existed and Tom stated that he was going to make damned sure that he never saw any of us again. The committee then took Tim to a genuine English pub in the heart of Melbourne and attempted to drink the profits of the Kon before retiring to their respective residences looking tired but delirious.

"Welcome all to the new-look C&G, which admittedly looks much the same as before except for one very important difference. Our founding editor and club President Alison Bean is now residing in the UK for the next couple of years, so I'd like to congratulate her on her magnificent efforts and boundless enthusiasm in building the Goodies fan club up to what it is today.

The fact that the C&G has continued to flourish to the point where it is now celebrating 100 editions after more than eight years in publication is indeed due to the tremendous ongoing support that I've received from club members since taking over the reins from Alison. Many thanks to all those who have continued to enthusiastically contribute Goodies-related items despite the show itself finishing more than 20 years ago and not being repeated nearly often enough on any of the television networks.

Special thanks however must go to our three Ace Reporters, Lisa Manekofsky, David Piper-Balston and Alison Bean, who frequently amaze me with the number of Goodies spottings that they come up with each month - the C&G would be thinner than the Music Master's "The Best Of Rolf Harris" album without them! A big thank-you also to Linda Kay for her fabulous Cor!! comic reviews every month and to Andrew Pixley, Kay Dickinson and Marilyn Burge in particular for their contributions of many wonderful feature articles. And of course, a thousand OBEs to Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden for their great support and willingness to answer all of those curly questions that we throw at them, including the ones in the next section of this newsletter!

It's not an easy task to select particular highlights because every single edition of the C&G contains many articles, small and large, which I consider to be of great interest to Goodies fans. Indeed the smaller articles often provide some of the most entertaining reading: like Bill being peed on by a cow (#86) - http://www.goodiesruleok.com/showcag.php?issue=86, Tim being spotted in Oman (#18) - http://www.goodiesruleok.com/showcag.php?issue=18, Graeme being a pin-up boy of the Tasmanian University Union Sideburns Appreciation Society (#10) - http://www.goodiesruleok.com/showcag.php?issue=10 and Eckythump being a lethal martial art after all (#98) http://www.goodiesruleok.com/showcag.php?issue=98 However here are some extracts from a few of the many feature articles that have provided us with so much interesting reading over the past four years, so by all means follow the links to check out the articles in their entirety:

"Another highlight came when Bill was explaining that he particularly enjoyed the planning stage of making the Goodies episodes. This involved meeting with the director, special effects team, and other members of the crew to plan out how they were going to make the episodes prior to actually doing the filming. During this explanation Bill said that he didn't consider himself to be much of a performer. He then paused and looked over at Tim and Graeme, with a big grin on his face. Graeme said something like "don't beat yourself up over it", paused, and then he and Tim said together (in perfect unison), "let us do that for you". It was obviously an old joke between friends and it got a very big laugh from the audience."

"So why is "The Goodies" wrong for BBC-2? The sets and costumes may look dated and some of the show's targets may be dead or forgotten but it is inventive, dare I say experimental. And despite often being labelled as a 'kid's programme' it is quite obviously made with adults in mind. It is intelligent, informed comedy, which is more highbrow than you think, yet it is mainstream enough to appeal to people of all ages. Those that remember "The Goodies", remember it with fondness - will people remember the output of today's BBC-2 with such fondness? And could "The Goodies" be described as anything other than 'a weird old thing'? Interestingly, "The Goodies" appears to fit Jane Root's specifications for the ideal new programme. And what's more as a repeat it would be cheap to screen, thus saving her money for more of those 'ground-breaking' programmes we see constantly on BBC-2."

"This then leads into the 3'15" film sequence of Tim and Bill collecting the looney animals which was retained for the 1972 version. Back at the office, the 1972 mongoose gag was replaced by another item. "What are you doing?" Bill asks Graeme. "Mending a rattlesnake," says Graeme, whereupon a snake with a baby's rattle tied on its end sticks out of the box he is working on and rattles. Graeme sees that Tim has entered carrying a padded birdcage: "Well, what have you brought?" Tim explains "This is Anona the budgie. She's very depressed." "What are you giving her?" asks Graeme. "The stuff that makes budgies bounce," says Tim as he throws the budgie on the floor; the bird bounces out of shot but the Goodies' eyes follow it as it bounces around off-screen until it hits the floor with a splat. "That's solved her problem," says Bill. "Another satisfied customer," agrees Graeme, before he goes into the bush baby routine."

"These collections of comic strips were an imaginative mixture of wild sight gags involving grotesque or silly characters spouting puns and jokes, many of which probably date back to the earliest of music hall routines but were undoubtedly fresh and clever to a brand new audience of impressionable juvenile minds hungry for irreverent and outrageous humour.

In 1973 The Goodies were added to the list of comic characters to grace the pages of Cor!!, published every Monday. Apparently licensed for just the one year, The Goodies were unique in the fact they were the only adapted characters featured with the comic's pages with copyright credit being given to Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke Taylor (sans hyphen) and Graeme Garden. According to Robert Ross' book "The Complete Goodies" the strips were all authorised and approved by The Goodies prior to publication and Tim still displays an original Cor!! strip in his study."

Next up was the ubiquitous clip parade, displaying (yet again) some of Bill's most producer-friendly moments from The Goodies, cut together with scant regard for context. Unsurprisingly no one laughed at these non-sequiturs, except those who had them on video anyway. This was followed by the introduction of his co-stars Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden. 'Are they still alive?' twinkled Oddie.

They certainly were and they were on good form. Graeme even looked pleased to be there and was quite chatty. He didn't seem too embarrassed about wearing an Ecky Thump hat either! Tim had a surplus hat for Bill, which he placed on his head as an award for being a 'gutless creep'. 'It's a joy to be here to help betray Bill's principles.' said Graeme shrewdly, adding 'He's a man of enormous energy, he always makes me laugh.'

"Currently they (Bill and Graeme) are recalling show number 58, aka Dodonuts. "That programme," says the million miles a minute Oddie, "was all about why Dodos became extinct and one of the things we had to do was teach a dodo how to fly. So we had two models built with the bird sitting in a bi-plane dressed in full flying gear. Anyway the idea was that eventually the plane would have to crash and it was gonna be a one take job. So the FX people built this big plane and they were so proud of it that they wanted us to see it in action. Initially we said no, just save it for the take. But the FX guys insisted. So we said OK and the plane went up and it was circling around nicely but when he pressed the button to send it into a dive the whole thing just exploded. Ooops!"

As the ebullient Oddie collapses into a fit of laughter at the memory, the quietly spoken Garden takes the opportunity to get a word in edgeways. "Subsequently," he adds, we had to contract out some of the extra modelling. Unfortunately the guy who got the job must have misheard what we were asking for because instead of a Dodo we got a dildo in an aeroplane!"

One of the undisputed highlights of the C&G has been the opportunity on several occasions for readers to have their questions about "The Goodies" answered by two of the stars of the show. Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden have been tremendously supportive of both the fan club and newsletter since our early days and have been incredibly generous in willingly answering all of the nosey questions that we've fired at them during this time, to our eternal thanks and appreciation.

TIM: We sat around together and thought of ideas and then went away and wrote our bits, not necessarily to do with our character. If someone wanted to do a parody of something then they did it. The problem was then trying to find a storyline to join up all the bits. The ideas, as you will see were not story led. The mistake we made with the last one, ‘The Making of the Goodies Disaster Movie’ was that we stuck to a story more rigidly. We should have known better, people dip in and out of this sort of book and if you didn’t read it chronologically then it doesn’t make a lot of sense

TIM: A difficult, though good, question. At the time I wouldn’t have had a clue (please excuse the unintended pun) though Stephen Fry would have been a good choice. If I had to choose someone for all the shows it would probably be Sandi Toksvig. She and I work well and easily together and it’s good to have a female. I nearly wrote female member – thank goodness I didn’t. Actually the best partner of all would be Graeme, but he’s already been spoken for.

TIM: No I wasn’t offered a part. Not for any negative reason. Not being ‘box office’ for America would have been a good enough reason. I saw a play the other day ‘A Very Naughty Boy’ – a life of Graham Chapman’. It was truly excellent, though I did enjoy telling the writer and actors, afterwards, what they’d got wrong. And I did get a mention. Actually I found the piece funny, accurate and moving. I think a fly must have flown into my eye at the end.

Politics, broadcast on 14th January 1980, was the first episode of series eight. Largely a parody of the events of 1979, which saw Margaret Thatcher elected as Britain's first female Prime Minister, thanks in part to the advertising agency Saatchi and Saatchi, this episode sees Tim and Bill running for the top job, helped by Graeme's advertising agency Snaatchi and Snatchy. The revised script, dated 25/10/79 (two weeks before the studio scenes were shot and probably after the outside filming had taken place) and the final revision (no date for this is available), contain several scenes and parts of scenes that were later removed, either prior to studio filming or in the editing process. The most interesting of these are presented below along with probable reasons for their removal.

The Brute Deodorant ad was to have been the first of three spoof adverts seen when Tim switches on the television at the beginning of the episode. Instead it was cut and we saw only the Keep Britain Tidy ad (with Graeme parodying Willie Rushton's chocolate bar campaign "It's crunchy. No it's chewy.") and the American Excess advert (featuring a flashing "Mr Frost"). It is likely that the Brute Deodorant spoof advert was filmed and shown to the studio audience as annotations on the script suggest that Tim provided the voiceover. It is not known who played the boxer, but Bill probably would have made a good fist of it. The likely reason that this ad was dropped was that it was thought to be the weaker of the three spoof ads.

Following encouragement from the Queen, Tim has decided to run for Prime Minister. Following no encouragement from anyone, Bill has also decided to run for Prime Minister. They come separately to Graeme's advertising agency Snaatchi and Snatchy, Tim dressed as Margaret Thatcher and Bill dressed as Vanessa Redgrave, on the grounds that female Prime Minister are fashionable. Indeed, in another section cut from the script Graeme shows Tim and Bill pictures of former Prime Ministers Callaghan and Wilson in drag. Several good jokes about Bill not making a good woman were cut from the revised script, probably to tighten up the scene.

[GRAEME: Oh, hello. Well, as this great nation of ours moves toward yet another exciting moment of decision, we pause for time to think, time to choose. And you know many of us still haven't made up our minds. So it makes sense, doesn't it, to find out what the candidates themselves are really like. So let's meet Timita. But before we do here's a word or two from Lulu, Rod Stewart and Engelbert Humperdinck.

On election night the Returning Officer announces the votes for Timita Brooke-Taylor (Timita Party) and William Che Oddie (Leftist Loony Party). The Returning Officer is dressed as a pantomime dame and arrives to present the results by being lowered in on a kirby wire. The results are one vote to each party and the Returning Officer declares the election a dead heat. In the original script, the pantomime theme was to have continued with that panto favourite, the audience sing-a-long. It is likely that this section was filmed, but edited out in post-production due to time constraints.

Graeme's plans to televise parliament include political versions of The Generation Game, Sale of the Century, Call My Bluff and Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank takes place at the United Nations and ultimately leads to armed conflict. The original version of the Blankety Blank scene is slightly longer and better explains the reasons for the furore leading to war. It is likely that this scene was filmed as scripted and trimmed in post-production.

Continuing the televised theme, the war is fought as a game of Guerre Sans Frontiers (a parody of Jeux Sans Frontiers, the inter-European It's A Knockout). Graeme plays the role of the real show's host Eddie Waring. Some of the dialogue in this scene is different to that in the episode and Eddie's commentary on the game is not scripted and was probably improvised in post-production. There is only one cut line, the final one, and strangely the final shot in the episode, of Margaret Thatcher returning to Britain, is not included in the script. Unless this ending was thought of in post-production, it is likely that the final page of the script is missing. The main reason for including this large section of script here is to show how a typical Goodies visual sequence was written up.

EDDIE: ...And of course they'll all be competing for the big prize, that's the domination of Europe. And what have they got to do? Well, I'll tell you. Here's a big cake, looking very delicious. Every country has to get as big a slice of cake as they can. Then they've got to make their way to the battlefield by crawling through the barbed wire, under heavy machine-gun fire...

Thank you without dropping the cake. And over there you can see some tanks manned by members of the opposing teams, and the competitors will have to climb the Butter Mountain, while the tanks try to slow them down a bit by blowing their heads off. Down the other side, then it's over the Wine Lake on the greasy pole, through the minefield, over the Berlin Wall, and all they have to do is activate a nuclear attack...

In honour of this special issue of the C&G we've decided to hold a scavenger hunt, with a club t-shirt going to the lucky winner. No, we're not going to send people around the globe hunting for phonograph records of "Land of Hope and Glory" and union jack waistcoats; instead, you'll be hunting through Goodies episodes to find the scavenger hunt items. The winner will get their choice of t-shirt style 1 OR style 5 (as shown at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/tshirts.php ).

Now that we've chalked up the major milestone of 100 editions, it's important that we look ahead to what the next hundred C&Gs will have to offer. The current format seems to be popular enough, however long-running items like the Episode Summaries and Cor!! Comic Reviews will conclude within the next 12-18 months and we will be even more reliant on readers' contributions when this happens.

Following the outstanding success of "Kitten Kon" in Melbourne in 2000, the fan club is in the early stages of planning a second convention, tentatively to be held in Sydney in 2005. We are also planning to hold some fundraising activities, including an auction of Goodies memorabilia in the not-too-distant future, as these will be an essential part of the preparation for staging another convention.

In the meantime, if anyone is interested in volunteering to help with the convention (including fundraising) then please contact club President Lisa Manekofsky at president@goodiesruleok.com and indicate how you would like to help, whether it's with the initial preparation or at the event itself. While we will particularly welcome the input of Sydney-based club members, the fact that our club is internet-based means that anyone anywhere can do "anything, anytime" to assist the cause. So if you're willing to help and have relevant experience or special skills that could be useful, please get in touch with us. Everyone who attended Kitten Kon will no doubt still remember what a magical occasion it was and we'd all very much like to experience it all over again in Sydney.