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C&G 116 Jul 2005
#116 Jul 2005 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 26/12/2006

Index

» #116 Jul 2005

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 116                     12th July 2005
 
 
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message. If you are using multiple or forwarded e-mail addresses, please specify the e-mail address which you originally used when subscribing, otherwise we may not be able to remove you from the mailing list.
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN E-MAIL TEXT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the E-mail mailing list. 
.
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
http://www.goodiesruleok.com
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <bretta@netcon.net.au>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky <ljm@cs.brown.edu>
 
COOL COR COMIC REVIEWER:
- Linda Kay <Goodiesfan@aol.com>
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- David McAnally, Ian Greaves, Robert Simpson
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
4. FEATURE ARTICLE - Bill Oddie - Springwatch
5. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #40
6. WORD FINDER
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
8. A IS FOR ADVERTISING MEN ...
- A Doctor Who special event
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Only one previous owner. Hardly a mark on her. Built for speed" (What does she do flat out?) "Nearly everything!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Who is he talking about?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Royal Command"
 
(d) Who hosts the initial, stupendously boring, Royal Variety Show?
(e) What is the Queen's instruction for Rolf Harris' fate in the second show?
(f) What kind of show do the Royals undertake which leaves them all badly hurt?
(g) "One is not amused. Two are bloody furious!" What does the other one want?
(h) Which Royal does Graeme fill in for?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
BANANAMAN DVD
(David McAnally)
 
The complete series of "Bananaman" is now available on DVD from Amazon.co.uk (Region 2).
 
 
SPACEHOPPERS, TANK TOPS AND ME
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
BBC Radio Wales will be repeating "Space Hoppers, Tank Tops and Me" on Sunday, 10 July at 12:30 and again on Monday, 11 July at 18:30. Here's a listing: "Huw Williams presents a series about the 70s, the decade that taste forgot. This edition recalls the Goodies and Bob Harris's Old Grey Whistle Test."  
BBC Radio Wales can be heard online at http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/radiowales/ . I don't know if the show will be available via Listen Again.
 
 
3. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* Due to the huge success of Bill's "Springwatch" series there's going to be a follow-up, "Autumnwatch". Here's some edited info from http://recording.phenology.org.uk/autumnwatch/
 
"The BBC and the Woodland Trust are continuing their survey of the seasons and are now tracking the arrival of autumn across the UK. Together they are inviting everyone across the country to watch out for six key events in their region. This will help to build the most complete picture of the season unfolding across the UK, enabling scientists to understand how autumn is changing and what needs to be done to help wildlife thrive in the UK.
 
All the information you provide will contribute to over 300 years of observation and push forward ground breaking research into the impact of climate change on the natural world. You can get more information about this research on the UK Phenology Network website The findings of the Autumnwatch survey will be revealed in a new BBC TWO programme, Autumnwatch with Bill Oddie in late October. Everyone who makes a record, and gives their permission for further contact from the BBC and the Woodland Trust, will also receive updates on the latest findings and programme information."
 
An "Autumnwatch" website can be found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/wildbritain/autumnwatch/
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 21st June)
 
 
* "Birding With Bill Oddie" is shown at various times on UKTV Documentary and UKTV Documentary Plus 1.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
* Bill Oddie has written the foreword for the "Outdoor England" campaign brochure. More info about it (plus a photo of Bill) can be found at http://www.traveldailynews.com/new.asp?newid=23530&subcategory_id=095
(I'll include a cut & paste of the article below).
 
It appears that the brochure can be requested from http://www1.visitengland.com/visitengland/outdoor/links/external/outdoor_newsletter.htm . However, they will only be sent to addresses in the UK, Channel Islands, and Isle of Man.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Enjoy England launches outdoor England campaign with Bill Oddie.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
 
Enjoy England has launched a new campaign, Outdoor England, to tell people about the wild outdoor experiences on offer in the English countryside and encourage us to go and sample what is out there. An informative free brochure and new website, outdoor support the campaign and are packed full of ideas on having fun in the great outdoors in England.
 
With a foreword by wildlife buff Bill Oddie, the Outdoor England brochure is divided into four, easy to follow themes: Your Outdoors, Wild Outdoors, Waterside and Extreme Outdoors.
 
Your Outdoors is accessible to everyone and includes family farm stays in Cumbria, sauntering along part of a National Trail such as the Peddars Way in the East of England, fossil-hunting along Dorset and East Devon's Jurassic Coast and experiencing ice cream 'from cow to cone' in Tattenhall.
 
Wild Outdoors intends to open our eyes to the living landscapes around us and encourage us to get back to nature from Big Batty Walks at the London Wetland Centre to badger watching in Cropton Forest, Yorkshire.
 
Waterside is about going with the flow and enjoying England`s coastline, drifting off on a narrowboat on the Grand Union Canal, kitesurfing at the Extreme Academy in Cornwall or just enjoying a pint at a waterside pub in Oxford.
 
Extreme Outdoors checks out the latest crazes and provides inspiration for those who get a buzz out of adrenalin activities like ghyll scrambling in Cumbria - jumping across pools, waterfalls, rocks and ravines; sphereing in Staffordshire and off-roading in Teesdale.
 
Each section of the Outdoor England brochure includes a case study with tried-and-tested reviews, such as a couple on a day trip to one of the RSPB`s nature reserves; a father and son team sailing on the South East coast and a group of girlfriends learning to climb in the Peak District.
 
At the back of the 84-page glossy colour brochure you will find a comprehensive directory with details on how to discover more about England's regions, contact details for all the holidays and activities mentioned in the main section along with more great suggestions. There is also a section with useful information on choosing quality accommodation in England.
 
No need to roam the vast expanse of the Internet to find outdoors inspiration either - there is a mountain of information on the new Outdoor England website with detailed sections on the nine regions of England plus ideas on how to have fun outdoors all year round.
 
Rania Deimezi - Wednesday, July 06, 2005
 
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* Next Tuesday (28 June), Graeme is billed with a guest role in BBC-1's drama series Holby City. Transmission will be 20:00 - 21:00 and the episode is entitled 'Rat Race', written by Jeff Dodds and directed by Nigel Douglas. Radio Times carries a full cast list, with Graeme down as Mr Loftwood.
(Ian Greaves - Goodies-l - 21st June)
 
 
* Last Wednesday BBC7 aired a 1997 episode of "Quote Unquote" with Graeme Garden. The show will be available through the stations Listen Again service through the end of the day Tuesday (UK time). 
It can be heard at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listenagain/wednesday
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 26th June)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Tim's appearance on "Shooting Stars" will be repeated on UKTV Gold and UKTV Gold Plus 1 on Sunday, 26 June and Wednesday, 29 June at various times.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 16th June)
 
 
* An update on the status of the forthcoming dvds of Do Not Adjust Your Set and At Last the 1948 Show, which feature Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie.
I received my advance review copies of the UK version (due out July 26th - £19.99 each) yesterday.
Both sets are double discs. Five episodes of 1948 and Nine of Do Not Adjust. I've just watched the first three episodes of 1948, and I'm seeing lots of little bits which resurfaced in the Goodies years later. Elements of Tim's disco dancing from Saturday Night Grease, and the Wicked Waltzing amongst others.
Picture is okay. Like the recent BBC releases of Steptoe and Son and Hancocks Half Hour, they need cleaned up. A little murky and with sound which dips fairly frequently. But to see them at all for me is a joy. The archive material was lost at one point, so we should count ourselves lucky.
I laughed out loud this morning. That seldom happens.
I'll be writing up a full review shortly, and will let you know when its ready. Courtesy of the lovely people at Boulevard, I should be able to offer a couple of copies of each in a competition, I'll let you know ;) The comp will be open to anyone anywhere in the world....
(Robert Simpson - Goodies-l - 30th June)
 
 
* "Hello Cheeky" with Tim airs on BBC7 (www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 ) Sundays at 12:30. It is repeated Sundays at 21:30 and Mondays at 4:30. It can then be heard for the next six days via BBC7's Listen Again service.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
* "Golf Clubs with Tim Brooke-Taylor" airs Thursdays on Discover Real Time (4:30) and Discovery Real Time Plus 1 (5:30)
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) &
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* Older editions of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) air on BBC7 (www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 ) Mondays at 12:30 and are repeated at 19:30. It can then be heard for the next six days via BBC7's Listen Again service.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
* "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (with all three Goodies) airs on BBC7 (www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 ) Mondays at 14:30; it is repeated Tuesdays at 6:30. It can then be heard for the next six days via BBC7's Listen Again service.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 1st July)
 
 
4. FEATURE ARTICLE
 
BILL ODDIE - SPRINGWATCH
 
(1) BBC NEWS' FACES OF THE WEEK
 
(contributed by Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 17th June)
 
From http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4099820.stm
 
Faces of the week 
 
Our regular look at some of the faces which have made the news this week.
Above are Bill Oddie (main picture), with Adolf Hitler, Shirley Bassey, Asafa Powell and Carlo Maria Giulini.
 
Bill Oddie
 
Bill Oddie's Springwatch series, now in its third year, has outstripped even Big Brother, making its star, formerly best-known as a Goodie, into television's newest cult hero.
 
Millions of viewers in the UK have recently been mesmerised by the re-emergence from winter hibernation of one of their favourite creatures.
 
A male - of the genus homo sapiens Brum-ensis - his habitat covers the whole of the rural British Isles: coastline, moor, mountain and marsh.
 
Instantly recognisable by his characteristic greying facial hair, field-glasses and hiking gear, this gregarious and feisty beast is often to be found in the company of television cameras, producers and directors.
 
He is the greater-spotted Bill Oddie.
 
Once a hugely successful comedian and musician, Oddie has completed the transformation to TV wildlife expert. Not an easy accomplishment in a country which likes to compartmentalise its stars.
 
His BBC Two series, Springwatch, the UK's biggest ever live wildlife event, has proved a phenomenal success, capturing an audience of three million and trouncing both Big Brother and Celebrity Love Island.
 
Explaining the mating habits of British fauna is a million miles away from Oddie's previous incarnation, as a member of the country's best-known comedy trio, the Goodies, and musical celebrator of another exotic animal, the Funky Gibbon.
 
But much in Bill Oddie's life has defied convention.
 
Comic flowering
 
Born in Lancashire in 1941, he was brought up in Birmingham, and has retained a hint of his Brummie accent to this day.
 
His was not an easy childhood, with a restrained father and a mother who was often confined to mental institutions.
 
Recently he revisited this time for the BBC's family history programme Who Do You Think You Are? He discovered that he had a sister who died at five days old and that his mother had also suffered a late miscarriage.
 
"It completely rewrote my assumption of what my mother was," says Oddie, who has had a couple of bouts with clinical depression himself. "It undemonised her."
 
It was Cambridge University which saw the flowering of Bill Oddie's talents. A member of Footlights, he soon found himself writing scripts for TV shows like That Was The Week That Was.
 
A series of comic roles ensued, including the groundbreaking radio series, I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again.
 
Then, in 1970, he teamed-up with fellow Cambridge graduates, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, to form the Goodies.
 
Into a Britain cowed by the three-day week, industrial strife and power cuts, the Goodies brought colour, light satire and just plain daftness.
 
With giant kittens demolishing London's Post Office Tower, the lost Lancashire martial art of Ecky Thump, and a natty three-man bicycle - the trandem - the TV programme soon boasted huge ratings.
 
Added to this were a number of best-selling spoof books and, above all, a series of hit records, all created by Bill Oddie, who is also a talented musician.
 
Transformation
 
Besides their success with the aforementioned Funky Gibbon, the Goodies also made the charts with The Inbetweenies and Black Pudding Bertha. In 1975, Oddie was the fourth best-selling chart songwriter in the UK.
 
The programme, which has among its fans Steven Spielberg, Reeves and Mortimer and Mike Myers, finally ended in 1981 and, almost uniquely for such a popular series, has never been repeated on BBC television.
 
Aficionados had to wait until 2002 for the Beeb to release a DVD of Goodies highlights. It seemed as if the comic odyssey had been erased from history.
 
Then in March, the unthinkable finally happened: the Goodies re-formed for a 13-night tour of Australia. Treated like rock stars, Oddie enjoyed himself, even though he thought the adulation "weird".
 
While Garden and Brooke-Taylor have continued to delight audiences, most notably on Radio Four's "antidote to panel games", I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, Bill Oddie has ploughed a new furrow as a television presenter, combining his twin loves of performing and wildlife, especially birdwatching.
 
Oddie's style, unscripted and unrehearsable, is a TV director's nightmare. "I just carry on as normal and treat the camera as a mixture of a companion and a viewer," he says.
 
Yet, even though his team has no idea what he will say or even when he will stop, his extemporising style works.
 
Though he is dismissed by some as bumptious, Bill Oddie's sheer fascination with his subject has made him a formidable guide to Britain's wildlife, and his relaxed presenting style is effective because of, not despite, its very spontaneity.
 
And today, whether discussing the life or habits of badger, red deer or barn owl, Bill Oddie has become a British institution every bit as much as Sir David Attenborough.
 
And, just like the butterflies whose metamorphosis he so colourfully describes, Oddie's own transformation has been fascinating to behold.
 
 
(2) ARTICLE BY BILL IN THE MIRROR
 
(contributed by Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 17th June)
 
The following article appears on the Mirror.co.uk website
(http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15640911&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=why-my-tits-are-so-much-better-than-big-brother-s-by-bill-oddie-name_page.html )
 
17 June 2005
WHY MY TITS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN BIG BROTHER'S BY BILL ODDIE
 
OVER the past couple of weeks, millions of voyeuristic TV viewers have been switching on their sets each night in the hope of catching a hormonally-charged couple doing it.
 
Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, I'm not talking about Big Brother 6.
 
The reality is, of course, that if you want sex and violence in their rawest, most spontaneous forms, then you need look no further than Mother Nature.
 
The little critters in your back garden are leading far racier lives than the sad animals currently residing in Channel 4's Big Brother house.
 
In nature, whether the cameras are watching or not, each day is a matter of life and death.
 
That is why a humble wildlife show has become the surprise hit reality TV show of the summer.
 
Over the past fortnight, millions have been tuning in to BBC2's Springwatch. By the time the series ended on Wednesday night, its loyal viewers numbered three million - almost the same number tuning in to the uneventful, tedious Big Brother.
 
Perhaps now the makers of shows such as BB6 and Celebrity Love Island will finally sit up and take notice.
 
The simple fact is that as a format, reality TV has become less and less watchable. What was once a fresh idea has been changed and tinkered with beyond all recognition.
 
The characters involved have become as weird, wacky and daft as you can possibly get. And the situations that they are thrown into have become increasingly nasty and totally unreal.
 
All in all, there is absolutely nothing natural about such shows whatsoever.
 
It says nothing about life, it teaches us nothing about ourselves. It offers no insight into human nature.
 
And it is not just Big Brother... The TV schedules seemed filled with shows like Celebrity Wrestling.
 
WHEN they die a death, which - thank heaven - they do, no one misses them. As for Celebrity Love Island, well, that really is the bottom of the barrel.
 
It has all gone too far. Why would anyone watch this manufactured rubbish when the real thing is going on right under your nose?
 
Compare the contestants on Love Island or Big Brother with the family of blue tits that featured in our show.
 
For a start, the blue tits didn't ask to take part in the show. Nor, for that matter, did they even know they were being filmed. The cameras we used were so small and unobtrusive that we were able to get right in the nest.
 
And those that took part in Springwatch were not putting on an act for the cameras. They didn't set out to shock or titillate and had no ulterior motives.
 
For our part as programme-makers, we made sure that we didn't impose any unreal situations on the show.
 
What viewers saw would have been happening in the nest whether we were there or not. So people who were watching it got to feel a genuine emotional bond with the birds.
 
You can't say the same for the Big Brother contestants.
 
One of the most poignant moments of Springwatch came when one of the baby blue tits died. Her mother had been battling for days to keep her young alive.
 
Millions of viewers watched this heart-rending but genuine struggle between life and death.
 
THEY had already seen one of the birds fly the nest. But the last of her chicks was very weak and, despite the mother's best efforts, it didn't survive.
 
That simple, natural moment said more about all of our lives than a bunch of wannabes being locked up in a house for weeks on end could ever do.
 
And nature, like real life, didn't stop when the series came to an end. It goes on happening 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
 
When we set out to make a show like this, we didn't try to appeal to one particular audience. We didn't rely on focus groups to tell us what we should be doing.
 
Instead we concentrated on making the very best kind of show we could. It was as simple as that. There was no secret formula - we decided to make shows we would like to see on TV ourselves.
 
Springwatch didn't try to target one age group, either. It was there to appeal to everyone and, for a fortnight, it was watched by all generations across the country.
 
It was the kind of show that a family could sit down and watch together.
 
As programme-makers, we had to tread a fine line between being entertaining and being informative. The same can't be said of Big Brother, or a lot of the other "reality" shows.
 
Like many people, I watched the first Big Brother series and, when in its early days, I have to admit, rather enjoyed it.
 
Since then, I've watched it less and less and less. This year, I've only seen a tiny bit of BB6.
 
For my own part, over the years I have been bombarded with offers to do celebrity reality television. But it has no interest for me at all, although I'm not against such shows as they help raise money for charity.
 
Even so, when I do get asked, I just send out the standard rejection letter.
 
Personally, I'm quite content doing Springwatch and other wildlife shows.
 
And for the rest of you, well, now that Springwatch is over, if it's reality you want, there's an easy answer...
 
Switch off Big Brother, get out into your gardens and see nature in all its sexy, gory, vicious, unfair glory.
 
mirrorfeatures@mgn.co.uk
 
IF you'd rather read about a bunch of far dumber animals, our Big Brother coverage is on Pages 24&25.
 
 
5. COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #40
(by Linda Kay)
 
Issue 175
6th October, 1973 No. 63
 
The battle between the establishment and long hair was still very much in people's minds in the early 70's, and the Cor!! comic we will be reviewing this month takes advantage of that situation to present a purely humorous take on the subject.
 
Header: THE GOODIES TRY TO CATCH A PHANTOM BARBER - IT'S HAIR-RAISING!
 
The Goodies are walking down the street where they see numerous posters and signs promoting haircuts and protesting long hair outside a building. A hippie is being grabbed off the street by someone inside the doorway.
 
HIPPIE: EEK!
 
BILL: What kind of a *hair-brained campaign* is this?
 
Within seconds the hippie is booted back onto the street, clean shaven and completely bald! The Goodies eye this with concern.
 
MAN INSIDE DOORWAY: Done - next, please!
 
GRAEME: Back to the office, lads - this is worth looking into!
 
Back in their office, the Goodies watch television as a bald newscaster tearfully explains the situation.
 
NEWSCASTER: The Phantom Barber today continued his protest campaign by shearing dozens of innocent citizens including *me!* Sob!
 
TIM: What we need is a lead - just one pointer!
 
A toy suction cup arrow with a note attached to it lands squarely on Tim's nose.
 
TIM: OUCH!
 
GRAEME: Wow! A message from the *Phantom Barber* himself!
 
Graeme holds up the Phantom Barber's message to the others. It reads "I am about to collect my most prized trophy - Santa's beard! Goodies - do not interfear intafeer *get in my way!*
 
GRAEME: By george, he means business!
 
The Goodies don winter gear and ride the trandem to the airport.
 
TIM: To the airport, chaps - Santa's beard is first priority for protection!
 
HOURS LATER ...
 
The Goodies, still in their winter coats, are sweltering on the crowded airplane. Bill is looking out the window with a pair of binoculars.
 
BILL: I don't know whether that's Scotland or Alaska down there - all I can see is a moose!
 
TIM: It won't be long now - I hope!
 
A beautiful stewardess with a dazzling smile makes an announcement, motioning to the Goodies. The Goodies eagerly climb out of their seats to follow her.
 
STEWARDESS: Passengers for the North Pole?
 
BILL: C'mon - that's us!
 
The Goodies find themselves being pushed out of the airplane by the still perky stewardess with only one parachute to cling to. They hang on to one another for dear life as they plummet from the plane.
 
STEWARDESS: We don't exactly land at the North Pole - count up to ten and pull the rip-cord!
 
TIM: HELP!
 
The Goodies roughly float to the ground, or rather the icy water next to a glacier where they see a bald polar bear shivering in the cold and a set of footprints leading away.
 
TIM: Look - the Phantom Barber has got here before us!
 
GRAEME: Quick! Follow those tracks, men!
 
They follow the footprints in the snow which leads them to a small igloo. There seems to be a commotion coming from within the ice structure.
 
GRAEME: Listen - what's going on in there?
 
VOICE FROM IGLOO: Ganga wota helinbak!
 
Bill quickly consults his handy Eskimo Phrase Book as the ruckus inside the igloo continues with a WHACK and SNIP! Tim looks at the igloo in confusion.
 
BILL: -Mm! Ganga wota helinbak - is Eskimo for - stick your - snipping instrument - up your furry jumper!
 
A hand with a pair of scissors appears from the top of the igloo. Realizing they have cornered their target, the Goodies grow excited and urge Bill to dive into the igloo to catch their man.
 
TIM: It's the Phantom Barber!
 
GRAEME: After him, Bill!
 
A huge struggle ensues as the igloo breaks more and more apart, fists flying from within.
 
TIM: You show him, Bill!
 
GRAEME: Go on, Bill!
 
At last Bill emerges from the crumbled igloo, the hood of his coat pulled around his head and face, but he has the masked Phantom Barber in tow. A happy (and partially shorn) Eskimo stands behind them.
 
BILL: *Puff! Pant!* Got him!
 
GRAEME: Good! Get him on to the Eskimo's sledge!
 
PHANTOM BARBER: I - I only did it 'cos I always supported the Injuns in the movies!
 
The Goodies take the Eskimo's dog sled and as they head home they pass a large igloo with a sign out front that reads "S. Claus Esq. - Annual Vacation - Back in 3 months." Bill points to this as they drive by.
 
BILL: *Grr!* After all the fuss, we needn't have bothered - *look!*
 
GRAEME: Er - no need to get so upset, Bill lad!
 
Bill pulls the hood from his head to show he is completely clean shaven and bald, much to Tim and Graeme's shock.
 
BILL: Oh, no? I didn't come out of that fight completely unscathed, you know!
 
GRAEME: WOW!
 
Sign-Off Line: The Goodies Will Be "Hair" Again Next Week!
 
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
 
IIII - Officially amazing.
 
This entry into the Goodies Cor!! comics really gets back to the deeply detailed panels we've come to hope and expect. The first panel is almost *too* busy with the numerous protest signs the Phantom Barber has erected; they read "Barbers of the World Unite! You have nothing to lose but your scalps!", "Keep the barbers IN work," "Down with long hair," and "Get a Haircut - in fact get 'em ALL cut!" A little street sign on one pole even shows it is a "No Shaving" zone. The hippie who is snatched off the street is carrying a small transistor radio and is wearing beads and a peace sign necklace. A poodle passing by is carrying a sign which reads "Unfair to poodles." And a small child with long hair is standing against the wall of the building reading a Cor!! comic book.
 
As the Goodies are watching the newscaster on television (who is sporting a rather unprofessional style suit with a large polka dotted bow tie) we can already see the arrow with the message approaching from outside the window, having been shot from a window across the street. As the Goodies ride the trandem to the airport they pass a business man with a bowler hat and umbrella and also a very effeminate long hairstyle which a pair of hands with scissors and comb are reaching for (another kid is watching as this happens). A military man passing by in the background also sports a very long hairstyle.
 
On the airplane there is a small call pipe in the back marked "Engine Room." The man sitting next to Bill is trying to eat his meal but Bill's posterior is hitting him on the side of the head as Bill looks out the window with binoculars. We can see the moose Bill has spotted in the distance below (there also appear to be a set of fingers barely visible which are clinging outside the window of the plane!). A man sitting in front of them is reading a newspaper and the headline reads "Where is the Phantom Barber? By our special hairdressing cor-respondent, Dan Drough." A map above the seats resembles a map of the Underground but in the middle where it indicates "You Are Here" it points to the North Pole (try playing Mornington Crescent with that!).
 
The plane's stewardess has a smile which literally sparkles. Bill knocks over the meal and crushes the man seated next to him as he crawls over the seat in his haste to get to the stewardess. A sign above the windows further down reads "Do not lean out of the windows." As the Goodies are pushed out of the plane we see a small sailboat in the water below. We can also see the airline is Package Deal Tours, Inc. and a small wind-up key on the side of the plane reads "Auxiliary Motor." Nuts and bolts also seem to be flying from the engine of the plane.
 
As the Goodies land near the naked polar bear there is a seal on an ice flow behind them balancing a spotted ball on its nose. When they reach the Eskimo's igloo there are numerous sled dogs standing around. In the background is a clothes line with some frozen socks and a frozen parka on it. A television aerial on the top of the igloo is also frozen solid. As Bill consults the phrase book we can see Graeme's glasses are completely frozen. The Eskimo Phrase Book is marked as the Pocket Edition by I. Sickle.
 
As Bill struggles with the Phantom Barber in the igloo we can see a pair of eyes peering out from within. One of the sled dogs in the foreground has stuck his paws in his ears and clenched his eyes. As Bill leads the Phantom Barber from the wrecked igloo we see the man himself is mostly bald. Outside Santa's igloo there are several penguins lazing about, a couple of milk bottles in the doorway, a frozen mail drop box and a small chimney on the far side of the structure with a frozen note above (presumably from the artist) which reads "Practice Only."
 
This comic obviously pre-dated the episode Earthanasia by some time, using the idea of the clean-shaven and bald Bill Oddie as its key joke. As the Goodies would find out themselves when applying this joke the audience was simply too stunned to laugh. The same could be said of this comic ... it's a bit jarring to even see a cartoon Bill this way! The dialogue is not as strong in this outing but the overall idea and execution (and especially the artwork) is so well done it deserves praise as a full and satisfying episode.
 
To view these strips online, you can visit this page:
http://members.aol.com/corcomics
 
We'll post the currently reviewed issue plus the two previous issues for latecomers.
 
 
6. WORD FINDER
(by Brett Allender)
 
This puzzle contains hidden words and phrases relating to the first two episodes of The Goodies: "Beefeaters" and "Snooze"
 
Try to find all the listed words in the puzzle. Words may be found horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. Upon completion, the 13 unused letters can be rearranged to form two words (5,8 letters) - clue: "lethal weapons" Solution in next month's edition of the newsletter.
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WORD LIST
 
Alarm
Beefeater
Burglar
Chickeneater
Computer
Crown Jewels
Elizabeth R
Fairy Puff
Giddies
Grey
Jingle
Needed
Polo
Rolf Harris
Ruined
Rupert
Sherbet
Sleepwalking
Snooze
Thumbscrew
Tower
Trandem
Venom
 
 
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Graeme Garden
(b) His date for the evening, Debbie
(c) Free To Live (aka Women's Lib)
(d) Tim Brooke-Taylor
(e) "Off with his didgeridoo!"
(f) Equestrian on ice (The Amazing Tumbling Royals)
(g) Harry Secombe's autograph
(h) Princess Anne
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Goodies fan supreme
7    Mastermind of the year
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
 
 
8. A IS FOR ADVERTISING MEN …
 
The Doctor Who Club Of Victoria and The Goodies Rule OK both have a large number of members who greatly enjoy both shows thanks to the ABC screening them back-to-back from 6pm for so many years.
 
The DWCV were of great help in promoting the Goodies tour to their membership earlier this year; therefore we're happy to pass on the following information about an upcoming special event of theirs:
 
Doctor Who
Inside The Tardis
 
Actors who appeared as the doctor, speak about their experiences.
 
Colin Baker (The Sixth Doctor), Sylvester McCoy (The Seventh Doctor) will join Jon Pertwee's (The Third Doctor) companion Katy Manning on stage where they will share their experiences and reveal some secrets of the phenomenal 42 year-old BBC show.
 
Writer, performer and huge Doctor Who fan, Tim Ferguson will host this live theatrical event. Audiences will travel through time with the original Time Lords, view classic BBC footage and hear insider's stories from one of the world's greatest TV shows.
 
Get to have your say. The second half of the show will give the audience the chance to ask the performers questions about their own personal experiences in a time warp.
 
Special moments from other doctors, including Tom Baker, will be on show with a series of classic clips from their time in the series.
 
Created by the BBC in association with McPherson Touring, this classic LIVE ON STAGE presentation is a once-only chance to be a part of the series, now showing on ABC TV.
 
Melbourne Members: Robert Blackwood Hall Friday, 15 July 8pm
Box Office: Alexander Theatre Phone(03) 9905 1111
Palais Theatre SAT 16 July 2005 8:00pm
www.ticketmaster7.com.au 
Box Office: 13 6100
 
Country Members: Geelong
Costa Hall Sunday, 17 July 2005 3:00pm
http://www.gpac.org.au
Box Office: (03) 5225 1200
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #117: 12th August 2005.
 
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2005. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com>
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