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C&G 118 Sep 2005
#118 Sep 2005 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 28/12/2006

Index

» #118 Sep 2005

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
 Issue No. 118                     14th September 2005
 
 
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message. If you are using multiple or forwarded e-mail addresses, please specify the e-mail address which you originally used when subscribing, otherwise we may not be able to remove you from the mailing list.
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN E-MAIL TEXT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the E-mail mailing list.
.
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
http://www.goodiesruleok.com
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <bretta@netcon.net.au>
 
ACE REPORTERS:
- Lisa Manekofsky <ljm@cs.brown.edu>
- David Piper-Balston <davidbalston@blueyonder.co.uk
- Alison Bean <bean_is_a_carrot@yahoo.com>
 
COOL COR COMIC & MUSIC REVIEWER:
- Linda Kay <Goodiesfan@aol.com>
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
Nik Whitehead, Liz Headland, Brian Labza, Amanda Stokes
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
4. AND NOW ... A WALK IN THE BLACK FOREST - Other Goodies and club-related news
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW - Winter Sportsman
6. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #42
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Kitten, those undies you're wearing are grey, grey, grey, grey, grey!""
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) What product is he trying to sell?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "London To Brighton"
 
(d) Which company do the Goodies get to sponsor their charity walk?
(e) What costume do they have to wear during the walk?
(f) What is the name of the bosses' grovelling assistant?
(g) Who is seen bouncing along with the Goodies when they reach Australia?
(h) What is the name of the charity that the Goodies are raising money for?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
THE GOODIES ARE COMING ... TO AUSTRALIA! AGAIN!
 
Information regarding tour venues, dates and booking details has already been sent out to all newsletter subscribers via our mailing lists.
 
All details of the current tour schedule are available at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=10
As new information is received, this site will be updated and also further messages will be sent out to the mailing lists.
 
 
HOT OFF THE PRESS ...
(Brett Allender - 14th September)
 
Just spotted in this morning's Melbourne Herald newspaper:
 
OLDIES BUT STILL GOODIES
 
British comedians from The Goodies TV show will return to Australia in November after the surprise sell-out in March of their first gigs together in 25 years.
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden will do a national tour of The Goodies Still Alive On Stage.
 
Third Goodie, Bill Oddie, who has film commitments in London, will appear by video.
 
The 60-something trio promise Still Alive will include items banned by the ABC when their television series aired here in the 1970s, as well as The Funky Gibbon and Brooke-Taylor's famous Union Jack waistcoat.
 
The Goodies will perform at Hamer Hall on November 4 and the Geelong Performing Arts Centre on November 8.
 
Brooke-Taylor and Garden currently present Beat The Nation, a British TV quiz show.
 
Oddie host's the BBC's Autumnwatch.
 
[The article is accompanied by a small recent photo of Tim resplendent in his Union Jack waistcoat]
 
 
 
DVD COVER ARTWORK
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 16th August)
 
There's a small photo showing the cover artwork for the Australian DVD box set comprising volumes 1 and 2 (with the extras that were previously missing from vol. 2 in Australia) on Roadshow Entertainment's site at http://www.roadshow.com.au/village_product.asp?txtCatalog=DVD&txtCategory=&txtProductID=B01031-9
The set is due to be released on September 1st.
 
 
GOODIES DVD SET
(Brian Labza - Goodies-l - 6th September)
 
The R4 Goodies box set DVD has now been released (in Melbourne at any rate), its back cover proudly boasting Come Dancing in colour, as well as the booklet! However, I haven't yet viewed the discs to verify this. The original R4 Goodies DVD's are available on discount (vol 1 is $24.98, vol 2 original is $32.98) in the shops (again, Melbourne only, don't know about elsewhere). The box set is about $75 (prices vary) and is bright yellow.
If you want to get vol 2, I would recommend the box set rather than the original discounted DVD.
 
3. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* Bill hosts "The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs" on Sunday 28th August on BBC 1 from 20:30 to 21:30. Here's a listing, "Bill Oddie constructs life-sized, bio-mechanical replicas as he presents an imaginary battle between top dinosaurs tyrannosaurus rex and triceratops. He employs some surprising and powerful techniques to unlock the truth and, for the first time ever, reveals extraordinary new fossil evidence that provides proof of a real-life conflict between these two monsters."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd August)
 
 
* UKTV Documentary & UKTV Documentary Plus 1 are showing repeats of "Birding with Bill Oddie" at various times (please consult your local schedule for details).
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd August)
 
 
* The new issue of Radio Times (27 August-2 September 2005) has a cover story on Bill Oddie's new series "The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs". There's a not particularly good photo of the cover at http://www.radiotimes.com/content/magazine/ 
"The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs" will air in 2 parts. The first part will be on BBC 1 this Sunday, 28 August from 20:30 to 21:30. Part 2 will air the following week (Sun, 4 September) but may be on from 20:00-21:00. I'd suggest checking your local listings to verify the times for both episodes.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 25th August)
 
 
* I was amused when I spotted an article entitled "Bill Oddie and Madonna: king and queen of the countryside". Does anyone else remember the misheard lyric from a Madonna song which sounds like "Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body"? If I remember correctly, the original lyric is actually "erotic", not "Bill Oddie" (but that's not as much fun). Here's a page illustrating the misheard lyric: http://www.rathergood.com/bill/ 
 
Anyway, the article that popped up today is from The Guardian (at http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1557401,00.html ). Here's a cut & paste:
 
Bill Oddie and Madonna: king and queen of the countryside
 
Patrick Barkham
Saturday August 27, 2005
The Guardian
 
She bought a £9m country estate, decked herself out in tweeds and declared her fondness for shooting pheasants, but Madonna's bid to be lady of the manor has been thwarted by a birdwatcher.
 
Bill Oddie, the former Goodie and presenter of the successful Springwatch BBC series has been voted the face of rural England by more than 2,200 visitors to the Town & Country festival's website.
 
Perhaps surprisingly given her run-ins with ramblers and relatively recent conversion to country life, Madonna took second place, ahead of housewives' favourite Alan Titchmarsh. Otis Ferry, best-known for storming the Commons to protest against the hunting ban, finished fourth.
 
The list has been compiled by the Town & Country festival, which will entertain 100,000 people this weekend with alpacas, country crafts, morris dancing, vintage cars and motorbike stunts at Stoneleigh Park, Warwickshire. Despite his passion for the countryside and defence of rural values, the Prince of Wales only came 18th as respondents plumped for more fashionable "country" figures, including the young royal Zara Phillips in 10th place. The presence of the outdoor action man Ray Mears as the sixth best-loved countryman and the country chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in seventh appear to show how important popular TV celebrities are in promoting countryside ideals.
 
But more traditional representatives of rural England still featured strongly, with Worzel Gummidge popping up in ninth. Despite controversy about his campaigns against windfarms, the environmentalist David Bellamy finished in fifth while Jack Sugden (the Emmerdale character) came in eighth.
 
The survey showed respondents' attachment to the rural idyll, with 75% declaring they would prefer to live in the country rather than the towns.
 
Helen Arnold of the festival said: "A few years ago, we would never have guessed that Madonna would make it to second place in a survey like this. It seems she is the queen of reinvention."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 27th August)
 
 
* The following humourous article popped up on http://www.carpages.co.uk/news/mini-31-08-05.asp?switched=on&echo=292605745today :
Heritage Decries BBC's Mini Murder
 
There has been a swift reaction to the violent murder of a Mini on the BBC1 TV program "The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs", presented by Bill Oddie on Sunday evening Aug 28th. Viewers saw a defenceless Mini savaged by a robotic simulated Tyrannosaurus Rex.
David Bishop, Managing Director of British Motor Heritage Limited of Witney commented: "Even a robotic T.Rex aught to pick on something more its own size. It was horrible to see that poor little Mini mangled like that. Mind you, we believe that it could be brought back to life quite easily because we can supply the correct original bodyshell, and many other components, to make it as good as new. We can offer the BBC excellent terms for these parts. In fact, we will make an offer to any original owner that if they should suffer an attack by a genuine Tyrannosaurus Rex; we will supply a free replacement bodyshell - can't say fairer than that!"
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 31st August)
 
 
* Bill was one of the celebrity talking heads on the programme "Greatest TV Comedy Moments" broadcast on Five on 5th September 9pm.
The show hosted by Richard Wilson counted down the 50 greatest moments in TV comedy in much the same way Channel 4 usually does. 
Bill appeared at various points in the show giving his opinion on various comedy clips. Sadly no Goodies clips made it into the countdown. 
(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - 6th September)
 
 
* "The Truth About Killer Dinosaurs", hosted by Bill Oddie, was released on DVD in the UK on 29 August.
This is the two part series that just aired on BBC 1.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 7th September)
 
 
* The documentary "Who Do You Think You Are?", about Bill Oddie's journey of discovery into his parental history, will be premiered on UK-TV (Australian pay tv channel) on Thursday 8th September, at 9.30 PM. It will be repeated on Friday 9th at 5 am and Sunday 11th at 4 pm.
More details are at: www.uktv.com.au/programme.asp?id=778 
but summarised as:
"Who Do You Think You Are? Bill Oddie. This episode embarks on an immensely personal journey to try and find out what happened to his mother, who was institutionalised for most of his childhood. His journey takes him back into the history of mental health in the post war years. (PG) "
(Brian Labza - Goodies-l - 6th September)
 
 
* UKTV, a Pay TV channel in Australia, will be screening Who Do You Think You Are? featuring Bill on Thursday 15th September at 9:30pm.
The blurb for the episode reads in part: "First up, Bill Oddie of The Goodies uncovers the tragic truth about the mother he saw only four times in his young life ..."
(Amanda Stokes)
 
 
* "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife" will be repeated by BBC 2 on Tuesdays at 19:30 starting 13 September.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 9th September)
 
 
* Bill's appearance in "The Detectives" is being repeated in the UK on Tuesday, 20 September at 15:50 on Bravo and at 16:50 by Bravo Plus 1.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 9th September)
 
 
* Bill Oddie and Rolf Harris will both participate in a "huge free art event" in London on Sunday, Sept. 25th. The event will be held in Trafalgar Square starting at 11:00am.
More info is available from:
http://arts.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_9997.php/Rolf_on_Art-_The_Big_Event 
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 12th September)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* BBC7 repeated "Spy Nozy and the Poets" with Bill Nighy and Graeme Garden yesterday. It can be heard through this Saturday (Aug. 20th) from BBC7's Listen Again service at http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listenagain/sunday/ . The show is listed under "Bill Nighy Season" at 13:00-13:45.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
 
* "Bromwell High" with Graeme Garden makes its UK debut this Friday. The show will air on Channel 4 Fridays at 23:20-23:50. 
Here is the Radio Times listing for the first episode, kindly provided by Alison Bean: "This new animated comedy has a decent pedigree: its writers cut their teeth on Goodness Gracious Me. It's a zippy, gleefully misanthropic beast, centred on three lippy schoolgirls who make Catherine Tate's "bovvered" character look like Anne of Green Gables. But it's Graeme Garden who steals the show, as a monstrously cynical geography teacher. Sometimes, Bromwell High tries a little too hard to shock, but it rattles along at a good pace and has a nice, tight plot. It might help if you watch it having just staggered in from the pub."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
 
* Old episodes of Doctor At Large / In The House are being repeated on UK-TV also on Sunday mornings in 5 episode blocks. Many were written by Graeme and Bill, including one which starred a very young Graeme as an intrepid TV reporter
(Brian Labza - Goodies-l - 6th September)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Tim's appearance as the narrator for the BBC Proms 2005 version of "HMS Pinafore" will air on Thursday 18th August on BBC1 from 22:35 to 00:05.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
 
* Tim's appearance in the "Absolute Power" is scheduled to air in the UK on Thursday, 25 August on BBC2 from 10:00-10:30pm.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
In actual fact due to late schedule changes this aired a week earlier on 18th August 2005.
(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - 30th August)
 
 
* Tim will appear in "Fawlty Towers at 30" (as a celebrity fan of the show). It will air on UKTV Gold on Saturday 27th August from 20:00 to 20:05 (yes, the listing says it's only 5 minutes long) and again on UKTV Gold Plus 1 from 21:00 to 21:05.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
He appeared in several of these mini features which were shown Saturday and Sunday night in between the episodes of Fawlty Towers. If memory serves me right he was billed as "Former Cleese collaborator and Goodie". The shows also featured Goodies historian Robert Ross.
(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - 30th August)
 
 
* Repeats of "Golf Clubs with Tim Brooke-Taylor" continue to be shown on Thursdays on Discovery Travel and Living at various times (consult your local listings).
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd August)
 
 
* The original Willy Wonka movie was repeated last Saturday at 7.30 Pm on Channel 9. It of course had a cameo by Tim Brooke-Taylor, as well as starring UK 1970's sitcom stalwart Roy Kinnear (as Veruca Salt's long suffering dad - he was the emperor in Rome-Antics).
(Brian Labza - Goodies-l - 6th September)
 
 
* "Heartbeat" will begin its new series on ITV on 11 September. Will our UK members please watch for Tim's appearances - I believe he'll be in two episodes playing a dodgy lawyer.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 9th September)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* The episode of "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" being recorded at the Edinburgh Festival this week is scheduled to air on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday 1st September from 18:30 to 19:00. Ross Noble is scheduled to join regulars Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor on the panel. 
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd August)
 
 
* BBC 7 (www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7) airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) and "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (with all three Goodies) on Mondays. This can be heard worldwide via the internet.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd August)
 
 
4. AND NOW … A WALK IN THE BLACK FOREST!
 
* I'm recently back from the 63rd World Science Fiction Convention in Glasgow, Scotland, at which I proudly wore a Goodies t-shirt.
This, naturally, provoked a certain amount of comment along the lines of 'about time the Beeb repeated The Goodies' but also some discussion as to whether The Goodies should be considered science fiction or not. The result was a resounding 'yes' - after all, you don't find giant kittens, mad scientists, remote controlled black puddings and the like in mundane fiction.
Another opinion expressed was 'hmm...maybe we should have a Goodies convention', to which I pointed out that it's been done in Oz, so there's no reason why we couldn't do one in the UK too.
(Nik Whitehead - Goodies-l - 15th August)
 
 
* A column by Rebecca Sparrow in today's Courier-Mail (an Australian newspaper) talks about several internet based fan clubs, including The Goodies Rule - OK!. The article can be found online at http://www.thecouriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,16390406%255E7642,00.html 
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 26th August)
 
 
* One for our club's many Doctor Who fans:
(London) BBC Worldwide announced that it has signed a deal with U.K.-based mobile distributor ROK Player to license full-length episodes of cult TV classics like "Dr. Who" and "Red Dwarf," marking the first time ever that the broadcaster has licensed full-length video content for use on mobile phones. To view the programs, users will need the ROK Player, which turns the handset into a multimedia playback device offering full-screen viewing, BBC Worldwide said.
http://www.rokplayer.com/News11.shtml 
(Liz Headland)
 
 
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
 
WHO?
 
After a lengthy siesta brought on by trying to listen to SleepalongaMax Volume 98 in its entirety, it's finally time for the return of your downhill-skiing DJs Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay) and their review of "WINTER SPORTSMAN" by The Goodies, of course!
 
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
"Winter Sportsman" can be heard on the 1970's album "The Goodies Sing Songs From The Goodies", as a single (with All Things Bright And Beautiful on the flip side) and as a backing track in the episode "Winter Olympics"
 
WHAT?
 
(Lyrics sung by Tim)
 
I'd like to be a winter sportsman
I'd like to have a place where I can go
Where I could have a barrel of fun
And a barrel of snow, uh oh
 
I'd like to be a winter sportsman
With lots of little girlies by my side
I'd like to get them in my grip
And teach 'em how to slip and slide
 
Hey hey holiday, pack my bags and fly away
Where I can be the king of the resort
You can learn a lot from me and maybe baby, apres ski
You'll be a little winter sport, I thought
 
I'd like to be a winter sportsman
Big and brown and butch as I could be
I'd like to lead a line of lovely ladies laughing after me
Tee hee hee
 
(Instrumental break)
 
Hey hey hip hooray, wax my skis and bring a sleigh
I want to show the world what I can do
On my feet or on my face, I'd still get up and win the race
I only wish that it were true, boo hoo
 
I'd like to be a winter sportsman
With gold and silver medals on my chest
But every time, for heaven's sake
I nearly go and break my neck, ooh heck
 
WHY?
 
(Peaches Stilletto):
There's snow doubt about it ... this song will have those into cold weather recreations like skiing and Polar Bear diving making a tree-line to their record store, while non-enthusiasts will end up schussing those who dare hum a few bars while polishing their gold, silver and/or bronze medals. With that in mind, I slalomly swear someone had to do some fancy footwork around the record executive moguls on the snowboard to get this song pressed to vinyl. This love letter to hypothermia gets to the root of the love of winter sports in an honest avalanche of truth ... there are those avid (and intelligent) skiers who may act the pro but in reality retire early from the slopes, nursing some non-life threatening injury obtained on the bunny slope to sip cappuccino and cuddle with ski bunnies back at the lodge. One might argue after such a powdery song it could only be all downhill from here, but actually this tune gives even the most hopeless skier's spirits a lift.
 
(Emperor Caligula):
On the surface Tim's intention to compete in the Winter Olympics for Britain is very much in keeping with his Union Jack-waistcoated, shiny shoe-wearing patriotic coward character – victory for England and glory for the Queen and empire, just as long as it doesn't hurt too much! However I was mi-sled, for upon hearing the lyrics of this very catchy little number, it's quite obvious why he's really putting himself through all of this pain in the icehole. He's desperately trying to winter heart of a snow bunny, and while he might get an ice frosty reception from the shapely Julie Ege, he figure(skate)s it alps his cause if he knows how toboggan with the best of 'em. Bob'sled him on a bit too, but it's snow wonder he thaw-t that a cool, yet not cr(ev)ass tune like this might yeti be the (s)ki to melting the heart of Eskimo Nell. So just freeze, chill out and enjoy it, for snowman wants to be alone on a cold winter's evening. That's it from me – after all, how many more bad puns can a polar bear?!
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
III Goody Goody Yum Yum (Peaches Stiletto)
III Goody Goody Yum Yum (Emperor Caligula)
 
 
6. COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #42
(by Linda Kay)
 
Issue No. 177
20th October, 1973 No. 65
 
Many times in the Goodies television show the boys would put on a show for some reason or another, showing off their skills (or lack thereof, at least as far as the characters were concerned) in different forms of entertainment. The Cor!! comic we'll review this month does much the same but with a slightly different result.
 
Header: THE GOODIES HELP A PARKY - "KEEPER" LOOK-OUT FOR FUN!
 
The Goodies are seated at the desk in their office when a park attendant hurries in. He has a litter bag around his shoulder and is brandishing a litter pick-up stick which he's used to pin the end of Graeme's tie to the top of the desk.
 
PARK ATTENDANT: We want you Goodies to attract more people to the town park!
 
BILL: Er ... how about staging a show, chaps?
 
TIM: Good thinking, Bill!
 
The Goodies ride their trandem to the office of Perce Entidge, a theatrical agent.
 
TIM: We'll be able to hire some acts here!
 
The Goodies enter the office just as a man dressed in feathers "flies" over their heads.
 
PERCE ENTIDGE: Sorry, *bird impersonators* are ten-a-penny just now! .. Next please!
 
BIRD MAN: Tweet! Tweet!
 
The theatrical agent, whose many phones are ringing all around him, hands Graeme a slip of paper.
 
PERCE ENTIDGE: I know just the people you want! They do anything! Here's their address!
 
GRAEME: We'll go and see them right away!
 
The Goodies end up back at their own office door!
 
TIM: Oh, no! He's sent us to our own office!
 
GRAEME: We're back where we started!
 
BILL: But remember we do *anything,* so why don't we put on a show ourselves?
 
The Goodies go into the office and pull some costumes out of their large wardrobe.
 
GRAEME: We'll grab some props and pop along to the park for a rehearsal!
 
At the park, The Goodies are onstage practicing a dance number. Each of them are dressed as women ... Tim in a ballerina outfit, Graeme in a milkmaid style dress and Bill in a housekeeper's dress. The park attendant watches them rehearse.
 
GRAEME: How's this for the opening chorus?
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Terrible! That hairy hoofer at the end needs a shave to start with!
 
Bill stops angrily as Graeme and Tim run into him.
 
BILL: I'll "razor" a racket is you ... aargh!
 
TIM: Yikes, don't stop - oops!
 
The Goodies end up in a tangled pile on the stage. The park attendant rubs his face in exasperation.
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Groan! Isn't there anything else you can do? Juggling for instance?
 
BILL: Okay ... we'll have a bash at that!
 
The Goodies next dress in juggler / acrobat outfits and stand in a small circle on the stage as they casually pass juggling clubs back and forth between them. The park attendant sits on the stage and breaks his litter pick-up stick in frustration.
 
GRAEME: Here you are, Tim!
 
TIM: Thanks - and here's one for you, Bill!
 
BILL: Coo - ta!
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Arrrgh! You don't just *pass* the clubs around, throw them up in the air!
 
Graeme throws two of the clubs ... one hits Bill in the face and the other lands on Tim's head with a SPLATT!
 
TIM: Arrrgh! This is dangerous!
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Well you're supposed to *catch* them!
 
BILL: OUCH! That one caught *me!*
 
The park attendant confronts the trio as Tim and Graeme eye Bill knowingly.
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Dare I ask, what you have planned for the top of the bill?
 
GRAEME: Top of the *Bill,* that's an idea!
 
BILL: Er ... is it?
 
They try an acrobatic routine ... Tim stands on his head on top of Bill's head and Graeme climbs up to stand on Tim's feet. They wobble precariously in this position.
 
GRAEME: How's this for "Top of the Bill?"
 
TIM: This should bring the house down!
 
BILL: Arrgh, come off it!
 
The stage below their feet gives way and all three plunge through the boards with a crash.
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Bah, well you've brought the stage down at any rate!
 
GRAEME: Oof! What a crashing blow!
 
The Goodies, all swathed in bandages, arm slings, crutches and canes, talk to the concerned park
attendant.
 
GRAEME: D-don't worry, we'll be all right tonight!
 
PARK ATTENDANT: H'mm, maybe you'll do at that!
 
THAT NIGHT ...
 
The Goodies stand in the town square dressed in old-fashioned vaudeville outfits. Bill has a guitar and Tim has a banjo and they are singing earnestly. People are reacting to them by clasping their hands over their ears and looking alarmed.
 
TIM AND BILL: WE ARE THE GOODIES ... wail - screech!
 
GRAEME: Hey, what's the idea of making us do our show in the middle of the town square? I thought you wanted to attract more people into the park!
 
LISTENER #1: Argh ... they look *awful* and sound even *worse!*
 
The people on the street go racing into the park in desperation.
 
LISTENER #2: Come on - into the park for some peace and quiet!
 
LISTENER #3: Anything to get away from that terrible show in the square!
 
PARK ATTENDANT: Well done, Goodies - another brilliant success!
 
GRAEME: Cor!! We'll raise a *song and dance* about this!
 
Sign-Off Line: Our TV Chuckle Champs Return Next Week!
 
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
 
III - Goody goody yum yum.
 
An interesting comic which doesn't deliver much in the way of verbal humor but is well drawn and has a nice twist for an ending. Some frames are packed with extra sight gags as well. In the opening panel, while Graeme's tie is impaled on the desk Tim's tie isn't faring much better, as it's trapped in the roller of a typewriter in front of him. Outside the theatrical agent (whose name is a bad pun in and of itself) there is a sign on the wall which reads "Non-Stick Pan Alley" (a joke on New York's famous Tin Pan Alley). There is a dog wearing a clown costume which is juggling outside the office as well.
 
Inside the theatrical agency there is a man in an overcoat, hat and worn-out shoes reading a copy of "Hamlet, A Great Dane." There is also another man and a performing seal sitting nearby. The theatrical agent has a tie with percentage marks on it and there is a framed picture of a monkey on the wall behind his desk. At the park, just visible in the background is a pond. A boy is standing near the pond with a toy sailboat but a hand with a small flag that reads "Help!" is sticking up out of the water.
 
The Goodies' underwear beneath the tutu and skirts are shown to be patched and worn when they end up falling over one another on stage. In the town square as the Goodies are performing there is a dog and a cat among the crowd holding their paws over their ears. The street lamp shatters at the sound of their voices. A woman in an apartment above is slamming shut her window to keep out the noise. Even an air raid warden goes running for cover. In the larger panel below we see a person has been trampled in the stampede to the park and is lying on the street with someone still running over them. Among the crowd of people are wailing children being pushed and pulled along and even a Frankenstein monster is trying to escape the din. A Cortown park sign (with the standard No this, no that, etc. on it) is being knocked over in the mad rush. And someone has lost their hat and glasses as they escape off frame.
 
This isn't one of the best of the Goodies Cor!! comics but it is entertaining and includes some funny situations which are adequately executed.
 
To view these strips online, you can visit this page:
http://members.aol.com/corcomics 
 
We'll post the currently reviewed issue plus the two previous issues for latecomers.
 
 
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Tim Brooke-Taylor
(b) Fairy Puff Detergent
(c) Beefeaters (Tower Of London)
(d) Sparklypegs Toothpaste
(e) Giant toothpaste tubes
(f) Minion
(g) Rolf Harris
(h) The Grieving Grannies
 
YOUR SCORE:
8              Goodies fan supreme
7              Mastermind of the year
5-6          Clever clogs
3-4          Reasonably Goodie
1-2          Thick as old boots
0              Rolf Harris!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #119: 12th October 2005.
 
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2005. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com>
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