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C&G 130 Sep 2006
#130 Sep 2006 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 10/01/2007

Index

» #130 Sep 2006

THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 130                     12th September 2006
 
 
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message. If you are using multiple or forwarded e-mail addresses, please specify the e-mail address which you originally used when subscribing, otherwise we may not be able to remove you from the mailing list.
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN E-MAIL TEXT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the E-mail mailing list.
.
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
http://www.goodiesruleok.com
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 413
Croydon VIC 3136, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- I&J, Fiona Mikiel, Mell Casting UK, Linda Kay
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. IN SEARCH OF GOODIESRULEOK.COM – How netsurfers arrive at our site
6. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Love him?! (Nicholas Parsons) Good God, we're dealing with savages!!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Who are the "savages" that are being referred to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Daylight Robbery On The Orient Express"
 
(d) Which particular activity is offered for a week as part of "Goodies Adventure Holidays?
(e) What costume is Bill wearing at the shareholders meeting?
(f) According to Graeme, what else is France famous for besides the Eiffel Tower?
(g) Which group of detectives are disposed of in the exploding toilet?
(h) How long does the mime of "Murder On The Orient Express" supposedly go for?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
"THE GOODIES STILL RULE OK"
SPECIAL EDITION C&G
 
As mentioned in the separate note to the mailing list earlier this month, the special edition of the Clarion & Globe with all of the news that's fit to print (and quite a bit that isn't!) from "The Goodies Still Rule OK" at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is now being held over until after Tim and Graeme perform at the Paramount Comedy Festival in Brighton on October 4th and 5th. The Edinburgh / Brighton C&G will include all of the "spotteds" such as media reports, interviews, critic reviews etc, but what we would really like to include is reviews and comments from any of our UK club members who are lucky enough to be able to attend the shows in person. Please send your thoughts on "The Goodies Still Rule OK" to <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> or to the Goodies-l mailing list
 
WEBSITE POLLS
 
And now for the results of the August website poll:
 
What other presentations should The Goodies give while they're performing at the Edinburgh Fringe this month?
 
Ecky Thump instruction                    109 votes 26.5 %
How to Breed a Plague of Rolf Harrises
                                                                96 votes 23.3 %
World Domination for Beginners     72 votes 17.5 %
Starting Your Own Pirate Radio Station
                                                                35 votes   8.5 %
The Many Uses of String                   28 votes   6.8 %
The Art of Evading the Giant Dougal
                                                                28 votes   6.8 %
How to Train Giant Kittens              23 votes   5.6 %
Lighthouse Keeping for Fun & Profit
                                                                19 votes   4.6 %
Other                                                      2 votes   0.5 %
Total                                                      412 votes
 
So Rolf is finally beaten ... and beaten by (or preferably beaten with) a black pudding too! Yay!
 
This month's poll question on the Goodies Rule OK website is:
 
Here's a Brighton-related question (in honor of the Goodies' live show playing there next month). In the "Charity Bounce" episode the Goodies rode spacehoppers to Brighton.  What form of Goodies inspired transport do you prefer?
 
A trandem 
The Good Ship Saucy Gibbon 
Riding Frankenfido 
A plane piloted by the Dodo 
A spacehopper 
A souped-up mobile office 
A cart drawn by a herd of Rolf Harrises
 
Come on, Goodies fans. Let's unite and defeat this plague of Rolf Harrises for a second month in a row!
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month ... and in the U.K. too!:
 
COMEDY CONNECTIONS
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
22 Aug - The episode of "Comedy Connections" devoted to "The Goodies" is
scheduled for a repeat on BBC1 at 22:35. 
 
 
ECKY THUMP IS LETHAL
(Mell Casting UK)
 
Came across this and thought of you guys
Look at the "man dies laughing at the goodies" story
 
 
(NOTE: All of the other Spotted!!! items regarding "The Goodies Still Rule OK" at Edinburgh and Brighton will appear in the special edition of the C&G which will now be published around October 10th)
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
  
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* For us Aussies, YAY!
 
LOST WORLDS: THE TRUTH ABOUT KILLER DINOSAURS
Broadcast Date: Sunday 20 August 2006
Channel: Free to Air / SBS
Broadcast Time: 7.30 pm
Classifications: Cartoon,Childrens,Drama, (CC) WS
Timeslot Duration: 60 mins
Official title / weblink if available: LOST WORLDS: THE TRUTH ABOUT KILLER DINOSAURS
 
(Part 1) In the ultimate clash of the titans, the giants of prehistory engaged in mortal combat. This two-part documentary harnesses new research and technology to discover exactly how the most ferocious dinosaurs really lived, and died. In this series, Bill Oddie compares dinosaurs with their closest living relatives, crocodiles and birds, and joins forces with a team of experts to scientifically analyse fossilized dinosaur bones and tracks. Using scientific evidence, Bill constructs life-sized, bio-mechanical replicas of the dinosaurs' weaponry. Then he tests them and demonstrates their awesome potential using computer graphics. Part one features a recreation of a dramatic face-off between tyrannosaurus rex and triceratops - two of the most powerful and frightening dinosaurs in history. Where previously such a clash has been the stuff of pure fantasy, Bill employs new technology to construct life-sized, bio-mechanical replicas of a T-rex head, built from solid steel, and a triceratops skull, complete with three horns. He then puts them on trial in the most detailed analysis ever attempted, and reveals extraordinary new fossil proof of a real-life conflict between these two monsters. (From the UK, in English)
 
(I&J – Goodies-l – 20th Aug)
 
 
* 26 Aug - "The Comedians' Comedian" on E4 (TopUpTV) at 21:00 to 00:05 (3 hours and 5 minutes long). Bill, plus Barry Cryer and others, will appear in this show. Here's a listing: Presented by Jimmy Carr, The Comedians' Comedian counts down the top 50 comedians of all time, as voted by over 300 comedians, comedy writers, producers and directors. The list is comprised of the UK's and America's biggest names in comedy. Those who contribute to the programme include Mike Myers, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, Jackie Mason, Joan Rivers, Sid Ceasar, David Baddiel, Barry Cryer, Steven Wright, Bill Oddie, Harry Shearer, Greg Proops, Leslie Neilsen and Carl Reiner."
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* Nightly - "Bill Oddie's Animal House" on The Baby Channel (Sky channel 285) nightly at 8pm (thanks for Fiona Mikiel for this info)
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* Tuesdays - BBC 2W (Digital) is showing "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* Various - UKTV Style Gardens is showing "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" and "Springwatch with Bill Oddie". Check your local listings for dates and times.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* 4 Sept - "Top 50 Greatest Celebrity Animals", which includes an appearance by Bill, will be repeated on Sky One and Sky One HD at 13:00. Sky Two will air the show again on 5 Sept at 10:00.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 31st Aug)
 
 
* Various - Bill's episode of "Who Do You Think You Are" is airing on UKTV Documentary on various days (including Sept 4th & 5th). Check your local listings for details.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 31st Aug)
 
 
* According to http://www.lep.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=73&ArticleID=1733097 , "Autumnwatch" (hosted by Bill Oddie and Kate Humble) will return to BBC Two from October 2-12 on Mondays-Thursday at 8pm.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 2nd Sep)
 
 
* Thanks to Linda K. for this info - The movie "Dragon Sword" (the US TV title for George and the Dragon) is airing on the Sci Fi channel next week, Thursday September 7 at 9:00 p.m.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 4th Sep)
 
 
* The following article appears at
 
Celebrity auction raises cash for hard-up theatre
nlnews@archant.co.uk
06 September 2006
 
Boris Johnson 
HOW much would you pay to be serenaded by Bill Oddie or spend an evening with Tory MP Boris Johnson?
These unusual events are just two prizes on offer at a celebrity auction to raise funds for the King's Head Theatre in Upper Street, Islington.
Other lots being sold to the highest bidder include a signed painting by Maureen Lipman, a "nude suit" used by comedians the League of Gentlemen and a week's holiday at a ranch in the American outback.
The King's Head's artistic director Stephanie Crawford said: "We're desperately in need of funds but we are thrilled by the generosity and enthusiasm of so many well-known actors who have come to our aid.
"Proceeds from the auction will help to secure our future and help us continue to bring new and exciting work to the London stage."
The cash will go towards the refurbishment of the iconic venue - the first pub theatre in the country - and towards the theatre's work with disadvantaged youngsters.
The auction will be held at the theatre on September 21. For more information call George Ritchie on 020 7226 1916.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 8th Sep)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* This information came through today from the ISIHAC mailing list:
 
We are now in a position to reveal the dates of the Autumn series of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.
TICKETS WILL GO ON SALE FROM 10AM ON THE MORNING OF WEDNESDAY 16TH AUGUST.
Tickets to these recordings sell extremely quickly, so you are strongly advised to book early.
The first recording will take place on the evening of Sunday 22nd October 2006 at the Southport Theatre (capacity 1631). Tickets are priced at £10.50, £8.50 and £6.50, with a £2.25 transaction charge. There would normally be a £1.50 per ticket service charge as well, but we have absorbed this for you. You can either book tickets online at www.LiveNation.co.uk/southport , via the telephone by calling Ticketmaster on 0870 6077560, or in person at the theatre between the hours of 10am and 6pm, Monday to Saturday.
The second recording will take place on the evening of Sunday 12th November at the Victoria Palace Theatre (capacity 1525). This is the theatre showing the musical Billy Elliot. Tickets are priced at £11.50, £9.50 and £7.50, with a £2.50 transaction charge. We have absorbed a 6% per ticket service charge. You can book tickets online by calling 0207 834 1317 which will ring at the box office direct and if not answered (either due to being busy, ringing too many times or outside the hours of 10am to 8.30pm Monday to Saturday) it will trip through to Ticketmaster.
The third recording will take place on Sunday 26th November at the Sunderland Empire (capacity 1875). Tickets are priced at £10.50, £8.50 and £6.50, with a £2.25 transaction charge. There would normally be a £1.50 per ticket service charge as well, but we have absorbed this for you. You can either book tickets online at www.LiveNation.co.uk/Sunderland or via the telephone by calling the theatre's box office on 0870 602 1130 (phone trips to Ticketmaster either due to being busy, ringing too many times or outside of hours), or in person at the theatre box office between the hours of 10am and 7.45pm (6pm when there's not a show on), Monday - Saturday.
Doors open to each recording at 7pm, and the recordings will begin at 7.30pm. They are scheduled to finish between 10.15-10.30pm and include a twenty minute interval.
We are very concerned that tickets to these shows (which are already subsidised) are being touted for money, so in an attempt to remedy this, SALE OF TICKETS WILL BE LIMITED TO NO MORE THAN FOUR PER APPLICANT. Should you find yourself unable to use your tickets, please telephone the relevant theatre's box office. They will keep contact details for the first thirty applicants unable to get tickets, and will re-sell the tickets for you. Under no circumstances should you buy or sell tickets on eBay.   If a recording has to be cancelled, anyone who has a ticket that has not be purchased legitimately will not get their money refunded, as Ticketmaster and the theatre box offices can only refund the original cardholder.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 16th Aug)
 
 
* 24 Aug - The new series of "Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea" will air Thursdays starting 24 Aug at on BBC Radio 4 at 23:00; it also can be heard online at www.bbc.co.uk/radio4.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* Sundays - ABC Radio National is broadcasting "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) on Sunday mornings at 5.30am.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* Mondays - BBC 7 airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) and "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (with all three Goodies). They are available via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. The shows can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7.
(Lisa Manekofsky – Goodies-l – 22nd Aug)
 
 
* The latest "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" CD was released on 4 September. Entitled "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Live", this is the first in a potential series of releases which will include extended versions of Clue episodes. The following is from the official press release - ISIHAC fans lacking easy access to a BBC Audiobooks dealer will be particularly interested in the final paragraph.
 
PRESS RELEASE
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE LIVE
 
Published by BBC Audiobooks, 4th September 2006
Duration: 2 hrs, 20 min
CD Price: £12.99 ISBN: 9781846070532
Available to download ISBN: 9781405628976
 
"I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Live" is a brand new 'live' release based around the hugely popular, multi award-winning BBC Radio 4 series.
 
This is your chance to attend a Clue recording from the comfort of your armchair, and to revisit a golden period before Willie Rushton's untimely death, in these two extended live editions from the mid-1990s featuring Humphrey Lyttelton, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Jeremy Hardy and Willie Rushton.
 
So join Humph and company in these perennial favourites: New Definitions, Swanee Kazoo, One Song to the Tune of Another, Sound Charades and last, but certainly not least, Mornington Crescent. Other exciting rounds include Just a Minim, Swankers and 84 Chicken Cross Road.
 
Featuring out-takes, re-takes and far more material than is heard on the regular radio broadcasts, each edition is introduced by the programme's producer, Jon Naismith.
 
"I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue: Live" will be available from all good bookshops, online at www.bbcshop.com or by Audiobooks direct mail on 0800 136 919.
 
This title is also available to purchase as a download from digital retailers such as Audible, Audioville, Audio-Read, Overdrive, Mediabay, iTunes, 7 Digital, Simply Audiobooks, Spoken Network, TuneTribe and Plays on the Net.
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
 
5. IN SEARCH OF GOODIESRULEOK
(by Brett Allender)
 
We all know that the Goodies Rule OK website is a great source of information on everything to do with The Goodies as well as the multitude of individual projects that Tim, Graeme and Bill have been involved with over the years.
 
However have you ever stopped to wonder how most people discover our website and fan club in the first place? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway! No doubt much of our recent cyber traffic has come about because of our association with "The Goodies Still Alive On Stage" tours of Australia last year and "The Goodies Still Rule OK" shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last month (and coming to Brighton in October), as well as the publicity generated by the two successful DVD releases of 16 classic Goodies episodes in the past few years plus the long-overdue "Return Of The Goodies" special on the BBC at the end of 2005. There have also been successful cross-promotions with other fan clubs and "word of mouth" in various other on-line journals, blogs, mailing lists etc which all spread the Goodie word on our website far and wide.
 
For all of this well-targetted publicity though, we still receive a large number of visitors to our website who probably have absolutely no intention of seeking us out in the first place, but are sent here on a magical mystery tour by the fickle filtering of search engines such as Google – a bit like the Goodies trying to trace Professor Nuts by following his own 20 year-old diary and winding up in Sevenoaks instead of the Orinoco, just like the Professor and the Lost Tribe of the Orinoco did too (because they got lost – bu-boom!). Hopefully quite a number of these good folk have actually stuck around and are enjoying the goodiesruleok site, but it's a fair bet that an even bigger number would have been shaking their heads wondering how in the hell they ended up in Sevenoaks in the first place!
 
One of the nifty features of the club website is that it keeps statistics on the various strings that people have used in search engines which have ultimately led them to the Goodies Rule OK website. These make for fascinating reading (at least for an incurably Goodies-obsessed loony like me at any rate!) so I thought that I'd share some of my detailed analysis (or shallow flippant silliness if you prefer) with you.
 
Club President Lisa Manekofsky has kindly provided me with a list of the search strings for June 2006 which is longer than SleepalongaMax Volume 98 (though thankfully far more interesting) and details the 3724 hits which our website received via search engines during that period.
 
So how do the majority of netsurfers track down our website? The really boring answer is that a whopping 941 of them simply typed in "the goodies" or a similar variant (such as "The Goodies") and a further 410 made it even more basic by typing in "goodies", "Goodies" or "GOODIES" Goodness knows how many other "Goodies" sites this brought up on the screen – "Get your goodies here". ... We stock all sorts of goodies ... etc", just not Tim, Graeme and Bill – but they obviously found our site eventually. Another 50-odd people (you've come to the right site then!) were very well informed and even managed to find us with "goodies rule ok" and variants, so our club (or at least the special with the giant Dougal in it!) is getting increasingly well known.
 
So that explains how around 1400 people found our website in June; now what about the other 2300? After the large multiple search hits mentioned above, the next highest number (24 hits) was for "Freema Agyeman". Huh?! Was this part of T'Grand Master Of Ecky Thump's wise and mystic saying? Or a section of Reverend Llewellyn's invitation for the Goodies to join him in Wacky Wales? No, apparently Freema plays a new companion in Doctor Who and the close ties between Doctor Who and The Goodies, especially on the ABC in Australia and between our fan clubs must have provided the link. Ah it all makes sense now, sort of!
 
A combination of "goodies dvd" and "the goodies dvd" scored 18 hits, but all other search tallies were in single figures, with strings like "the goodies tv show" (9 hits), "goodies bbc" (9 hits), "goodies font" (9 hits) and "goodies t-shirt" (7 hits) all being fair enough reasons for our site to be googled. Goodies songs such as their top track "funky gibbon" (9 hits), the hornswaggling "cactus in my y fronts" (6 hits) and "the goodies theme song" (5 hits) were also in some demand, while the likes of "rastus watermelon" (5 hits), "bagpipes spider" (3 hits) and "bunfight tea room" (3 hits) struck a chord in a few memories.
 
Slightly more obscure, but still logical, connections include:
"cat weazel" (7 hits) - same era, same station, similar audience,
"eamon andrews" (9 hits) – "And tonight Witch Hazel, this is your life!" from That Old Black Magic, and
"bromwell high" (6 hits) – one of Graeme's solo projects.
 
The fact that we're a fan club also seems to bring in its share of tenuously-linked traffic, such as:
"computer fan club" (5 hits) – Graeme was more than just a fan of his once he put the voice box in her!,
"foo fighters fan club" (4 hits) – do they fight using black puddings?,
"kylie minogue fan club" (4 hits) – come on and do the daylight robbery on the orient express with me,
and "socceroos fan club" (4 hits) – Bill would make an excellent supporter until some great nancy fakes it and falls over!,
just to name a few.
The scariest one by far though was the "max bygraves fan club" (1 hit – then we hit them!) – boy, did they come to the wrong website! 
And yes, even "rolf harris" lured a few folks here while he was breeding up to plague proportions in the window box outside!
 
These hits are all perfectly understandable in their own weird and wonderful ways, particularly as they have popped up from multiple searches and there are plenty of others that make some sense if you ponder them for long enough, even if the sorry surfer who first typed them in is probably perplexed at how they arrived at the Goodies website. I'm afraid that I even have to take the rap personally for one such search string – the five sad souls (or one sad soul five times over) who typed in "fartsounds" were probably expecting to discover a collection of ripe rectum-ripping renditions to rejoice in, only to kick up a right old stink upon finding that I'd merely assumed the alter ego of distasteful DJ "Nicholarse Fartsounds" for the music review of "Blowing Off" many years ago. What a bummer!
 
That's one bizarre connection with a perfectly harmless and innocent explanation (at least that's what I'll tell the judge!), but one would need to be Magnus Magnesium to figure out the relevance of "tripod song lyrics: fear of shorts" (3 hits), "archaeologist Dr Licky" (3 hits), "Chiquitos restaurant Preston (2 hits), "Jade McRae legs" (2 hits), "nanchang warbird owners group" (2 hits), "adelaide squirters (2 hits), "panto horse rear legs" (2 hits) or "fab bods" (2 hits) to the Goodies, though "panto horse" and "squirters" do vaguely ring a bell somehow! Almost sounds like a modern day "chopping list" for the reconstruction of Frankenfido.
 
The multiple search tallies accounted for well over 2000 of the hits for June, but there were at least a thousand more search strings that were only used the once, yet delivered their netsurfer on wings of string to goodiesrule ok. Some would have been expecting the journey, like "bellamy rabbit goodies", some may have been a little surprised, like "1970s ads for Birdseye fishfingers", and some may have even been rather disappointed, especially " Big oddie bill oddie put your hands all over my body" – grab a Madonna greatest tits, er hits CD, put on "Erotic" and interpret the lyrics for yourselves!!
 
Obviously some of the unusual search strings led people to goodiesruleok due to these words being found in forum discussions, our members' journals, or other parts of the site. However it's a fair guess that whatever the following folks were surfing and searching for, you can bet a giant beanstalk that it wasn't for The Goodies Rule OK:
 
- "blackburn fan club"
(I don't think they mean Tony boy somehow. He's getting on a bit. You count his teeth. He's got hundreds of them!)
 
- "Dink Song The Dinks MP3 Spaceballs Download"
(That's what you end up with after bouncing around the world on a spacehopper, and they're more painful than tennis elbow too!)
 
- "Festering Ferret London England"
(I sure hope they're a Goodies fan, otherwise they're a bit of a worry!)
 
- "Fielder virgin.net"
(But she's got a beard! That's why she's a virgin!)
 
- "Ideas to liven up a book club meeting"
(Any one of the 4 Goodies books will do just that)
 
- "Grug books"
(The prehistoric Goodies were reading those when the Romans invaded)
 
- "JOKES ABOUT COLONIC IRRIGATION"
(Bound to provide a flood of laughter)
 
- "KILT BLOOPER PHOTOS WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY"
(Hoots, toots, och aye, the nude! Let's hope it's all in perfect working order)
 
- "Mornington Male Stripper"
(Is it a crescent, a diagonal or a loop? Samantha will be most eager to keep an eye on his points and help him to score!)
 
- "Sluts in Merimbula"
(See you later folks, I've found a new fan club to join!)
 
- "South America Hang Gliding Association"
(Oh yeah, there's an obvious Goodies connection there ... somewhere!)
 
- "The prodigal son - activities for junior school"
(Defusing bombs in block sets and fetching cigars from Germany a specialty)
 
- "alexandria nude beach photo"
(I presume we're not talking about deforestation of the foreshores in Egypt here?)
 
- "amphibious vehicles for sale on ebay"
(Anyone want to buy a second hand pirate radio station? Only one megalomaniac owner. Going cheap, er going glug glug glug because it's sinking)
 
- "bottom slimming exercises"
(Try the fingertip test, Slim the Goodies way)
 
- "brisbane husband and wife threesomes meeting places"
(Looking to form a Goodies groupies gropies group!)
 
- "british comedy where people dress up in squirrel suits"
(Would a bunch of rabbits and a pantomime horse suffice instead?)
 
- "fat arse bubble butt wobbly tummy"
(That sounds like Tim in Chubby Chumps before Terry lures him to the fat farm. A Change Of Life in Series 9 also features plenty of it too)
 
- "funky toilet seats"
(Do, do, do, the (job on a) funky toilet seat. Might go straight to number 1 ... or number 2s!)
 
- "grease the cat"
(I'm sure that's mentioned in the lyrics of "Spank That Hamster" somewhere)
 
- "hand-panned salt"
(I'd rather pan for bacon, eggs and jewellery in Cornwall myself)
 
- "high heeled bum kicking aggressive ladies"
(Does Timita qualify? Marge and Tina would surely agree)
 
- "how are periscope use in double decker bus"
(Much the same way as mirrors were used in "Playgirl Club" to find Miss Heifer, no doubt)
 
- "humunguous black pussy"
(Twinkle was white, wasn't he ...?!)
 
- "kangaroo court of St Martin's flying gorilla drink"
(And very tasty too, especially mixed with one part Snooze and three parts "tomayto soup")
 
- "kermit the frog adidas sneakers"
(It's not easy being green and an old sock to boot)
 
- "kittens farting"
(Kitten Kong would flatten half of London with one blow if that's a puss-ability)
 
- "nipple rings british television"
(So that's what Tim's A-string was really covering up!)
 
- "pasadoble dance online demonstration"
(With a bonus Bony M dance and Disco Heave instructions with every explosion)
 
- "queensland indecent exposure penalty"
(Not as harsh as here in Victoria – "this cold weather has rendered my brass monkey incomplete!")
 
- "scout shorts merseyside"
(Beware of the Lone Scout (plus one) and his packet of starch!)
 
- "smacked on knickers"
(I'm sure that Desiree Carthorse will be in on that!)
 
- "xxl women"
(Can I order three of them please?)
 
- "zz top fan club"
(Bill and Graeme's beards weren't quite that luxurious, were they?)
 
Makes the mind woggle, er boggle, doesn't it?! We might have a look at some more search strings another time (preferably after my therapy is completed!)
 
 
6. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Graeme Garden
(b) The Eskimos
(c) Lips, or Almighty Cod
(d) Brain surgery
(e) A tree
(f) (Tin) Cannes (also a quick flash of the frillies from Tim!)
(g) The Shafts
(h) Six and a half hours
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Goodies fan supreme
7    Mastermind of the year
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITIONS:
 
- Special:"The Goodies Still Rule OK"
Edinburgh / Brighton
10th October 2006.
 
- #131: 15th October 2006.
 
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
 
 
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2006. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com>
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