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* THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE *
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* THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
Issue No. 192 12th May 2012
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
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Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
POSTAL ADDRESS
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'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 492
Rosanna VIC 3084, AUSTRALIA
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
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EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
FEATURE ARTICLE CONTRIBUTOR:
- Lisa Manekofsky
MUSIC REVIEWERS:
- Linda Kay & Brett Allender
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- Saucy Gibbon forum, Jenny_Gibbon, Jeffers, Kimba W. Lion, Andrew Williams, Anthony Harvison
CONTENTS
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1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. FEATURE ARTICLE – Graeme Garden interview for Chipping Norton Literary Festival
6. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #22 – Guest Stars: Patrick Moore
7. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #46: The Ballad of the OK Tea Rooms
8. GOODIES WORDFINDER
9. GOODIES CROSSWORD SOLUTION from C&G 191
10. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
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(by "Magnus Magnesium")
QUOTE: "Good grief, you'd have thought it was simple enough. They get half a vote because they're half the size! Seems fair to me"
(a) Which Goody says this quote?
(b) Which group of people is he referring to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
QUIZ: These questions are from the episode "Wacky Wales"
(d) What sort of song do the Goodies practice for the eisteddfod?
(e) And what is their own verdict of this song after performing it?
(f) What is the name of the Welsh island that the Goodies travel to?
(g) What does the Reverend describe as "A foul potion of the orient, a stimulator of the flesh, an inflamer of the senses …"
(h) How have the winning Druids rugby team cheated, according to Tim?
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
2. BOFFO IDEAS
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You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on lately:
GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES UPDATES
The Goodies Episode Summaries for Series Five and Six have now been fully updated on the GROK website with expanded written summaries and extra photos included for each episode (each Goodies Gallery now has 30+ photos).
The summaries can be accessed directly at:
Series Five:
Series Six:
The Goodies Episode Summaries for the first four series have also been updated over the past six months and can be accessed from the Articles / Guides menu option on the left of the GROK homepage.
3. SPOTTED!!!
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More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this edition:
R.I.P. PHILIP MADOC
(Lisa Manekofsky – 6th Mar)
Philip Madoc, who appeared as the Tourist Officer in The Goodies episode 'South Africa', has passed away.
R.I.P. BILL WESTON
(Jeffers – 7th Apr)
Stuntman and Goodies stunt arranger chap Bill Weston died recently after a cancer battle. A great shame.
Looking at his career, he's done some incredibly cool stuff, the coolest of which may have been his starring role in 'The Race'.
The podcast was exchanging emails with Bill but ultimately the chance to interview him never materialised. He would've had some terrific insights on a vital part of the show.
Mr Weston will be missed! But we can enjoy his work forever. If you can, have a watch of The Race this week to remember his danger-defying genius
Check out his famous SOLVITE ad:
THE STORY OF SLAPSTICK
(Lisa Manekofsky – 10th Apr)
Thanks for Jenny_Gibbon for posting the following in the GROK forums:
The Story of Slapstick is being repeated on Easter Monday, BBC TWO at 23.00
Slapstick comedy special narrated by Miranda Hart, charting the highs and lows of physical comedy and examining the audience's love of visual humour. Featuring pies and pratfalls from over a century of comedy and entertainment programming including Monty Python, Charlie Chaplin, Morecambe and Wise and even Hole in the Wall.
From the craft of the Buster Keaton classics to the cartoon antics of The Goodies and the absurdly violent anarchy of Bottom, the genre has shifted through silent films, surrealism, sketch and sitcom, and today even filtered in to Saturday night family entertainment.
Featuring analysis from great physical gag practitioners including Vic Reeves, Mathew Horne, Reece Shearsmith, Ben Miller and Sally Phillips. A festive treat that features physical comedy both classic and contemporary, including the inappropriate manhandling of Manuel from Fawlty Towers, the roller-skating Frank Spencer epic from Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em and more funny physical pain than you can fling a Frying Pan at!
MICHAEL BARRATT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
(Anthony Harvison – 18th Apr)
The following press release has just been issued regarding Michael Barratt's recently-released autobiography. Michael Barratt was in a number of Goodies episodes as a BBC newsreader and Nationwide presenter, including Kung Fu Kapers ( where he hits his interviewee with a black pudding), Goodies Rule – OK? (where he interviews Prime Minister Sooty) and Punky Business (where he turns punk as well)
TV ICON MICHAEL BARRATT PENS 'WARTS AND ALL' AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Former print & broadcast journalist covers his glittering media career in Mr Nationwide
April 17, 2012: In a TV and radio career as eclectic as the pioneering current affairs show he's best remembered for, British broadcasting icon Michael Barratt scoured the world for scoops when journalism was still an adventure and interviewed everyone from prime ministers and public enemies to puppets and skateboarding ducks.
Now 84 and still going strong, the much-loved presenter of BBC's quirky news programme Nationwide recalls in a new 'warts and all' autobiography the roller-coaster reporting career that made him as much a household name as the myriad politicians, members of royalty, sporting heroes and celebrities he encountered for a living, and which also led to unlikely appearances in cult comedy shows and films.
"Mr Nationwide" - just released through Kaleidoscope Publishing – is packed with famous names and colourful anecdotes, and takes readers from Yorkshire-born Michael's beginnings as a cub reporter for the Sunday Mail in Glasgow right through to his most recent work in commercial video and media coaching.
A posting to Nigeria in the dying days of the British Empire led to Michael's big break with the BBC back in the UK, on the world's longest-running public affairs television programme, Panorama. Rubbing shoulders with broadcasting legend Richard Dimbleby forced the young journalist to overcome his natural shyness and do whatever it took to get the story, even if that cost him a spell or two in foreign jails.
Moving on to 24 Hours with Cliff Michelmore in the early sixties, Michael become the first reporter from the West to enter Cuba after the Castro revolution, and also undertook unnerving interviews with notorious East End gangsters such as The Kray Twins and Michael X. After cutting his teeth on these flagships shows, Michael was chosen in 1969 to launch Nationwide, the hugely-popular magazine programme that combined political discussion and consumer affairs, light entertainment and sports reporting.
At its peak Nationwide would attract an audience of up to eleven million viewers every weekday evening at 6pm, and would make Michael one of the country's biggest broadcasting personalities. During these heady years, Michael also presented shows such as Gardeners' Question Time and Songs of Praise, could be caught on crazy comedy series The Goodies interviewing Sooty and hitting people with a black pudding, or even be seen on the big screen, in films including star-studded Brit flick The Magic Christian. Indeed, the Nationwide anchor proved so popular that when he decided to leave the show in 1977, to marry his second wife, Dilys, he was sent by the BBC on a farewell tour of the UK aboard an especially-hired train.
Having lost none of his celebrated skills for sharing a story in compelling fashion, Michael uses Mr Nationwide to look back at an amazing seven-decade journalistic career with refreshing honesty,
intelligence and humour. The sometimes painfully frank account of successes and failures - both professional and personal - gives readers a fascinating insight into his incredible life and offers a rare glimpse into the workings of a media world long since vanished.
Mr Nationwide by Michael Barratt (Kaleidoscope Publishing, 110pp) is out now in paperback, priced £9.99. Visit www.kaleidoscopepublishing.co.uk
ABOUT MICHAEL BARRATT
Michael Barratt was born in Leeds in 1928. After being educated at Rossall School, an independent boys' school near Fleetwood, Lancashire, and at Paisley Grammar School in Scotland, he entered the world of journalism at 16, working for Scottish tabloid the Sunday Mail.
Following a spell on sister paper the Daily Record he moved to Nigeria to be editor of the Nigerian Citizen and to work for the Nigerian Broadcasting Service. Following his return to the UK, he worked as a production journalist on several English regional newspapers including the Wolverhampton Express & Star, Wolverhampton Chronicle and Loughborugh Monitor, while also contributing to the BBC's Midlands regional current affairs magazine Scan and the BBC's African Service.
His work for the BBC led him to become a reporter on the BBC current affairs programme Panorama, then 24 Hours. He was presenter of Nationwide from 1969 to 1977 and was also chairman of BBC Radio 4's Gardeners' Question Time from 1973 to 1979. He then moved to Thames TVs Reporting London and formed his own successful commercial video production company, Michael Barratt Limited, until 1997.
He has appeared, as himself, in both films and television, including the film The Magic Christian and The Goodies. In 1972 he was elected Rector of the University of Aberdeen. He is the author of several books including Michael Barratt's Complete Gardening Guide, Michael Barratt, Making the Most of the Media, and Making the Most of Retirement.
THE GOODIES PODCAST
New Goodies Podcasts since the last edition of the C&G:
#84: Advertising Men
#85: Trandemania Trap
#86: Believable Truths
#87: Commentary: Animals (Series 8)
#88: BIGkids Rule OK
#89: It's Maaaxie Grease!
#90: Commentary: Cecily
#91: Clown Virus
#92: Commentary: Culture For The Masses
#93: [S]noooze (for mid-April)
#94: Commentary: Playgirl Club
4. 2001 AND A BIT
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If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: groksite@gmail.com
Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
Please note: BBC RADIO SHOWS listed below can be heard online via each station's website (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 or www.bbc.co.uk/radio4extra) and then for a week after broadcast from the BBC iPlayer (aka Listen Again), www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer . Radio shows on the iPlayer should be available for listening worldwide.
BILL SPOTTINGS
* Radio & TV shows:
- Pointless Celebrities – BBC (March) (New) (thanks to Jenny_Gibbon)
- 'Masterchef UK' – BBC1 (March) (New)
- 'Live' interview – Channel 5 (April) (New)
* There are a number of articles today about Bill joining a protest against the British government's plans for a badger cull as a possible way to control TB in cattle. Here are links to a few of the articles:
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Feb)
* Here's a video from the BBC News website of Bill and MP Simon Hart being interviewed about the proposed British government badgers cull:
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Feb)
* I spotted this article earlier today. This should include the two songs Bill Oddie recorded for John Peel's Dandelion Record label ("On Ilkla Moor Baht'at" and "Harry Krishna").
Contents of John Peel's Record Collection to be Made Public
Thursday, 23 February 2012 07:20
One of the most revered record collections in the world - that of music legend John Peel - is to be made into an interactive online museum for the public, as part of The Space - a new experimental digital service organized and funded by the Arts Council and the BBC.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 3rd Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 5th Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 5th Mar)
* Thanks to Andrew Williams for this news:
"Bill Oddie has contributed to a book of celebrities memories of "Dr. Who". The book can be pre-ordered here: http://behindthesofa.myshopify.com/ and you can get a glimpse of Bill's entry in the tiny sample images (image 2, righthand page). 100% of the profits from the book go to Alzheimers research charities."
(Lisa Manekofsky – 13th Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 24th Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Mar)
* Bill's tour, "Bill Oddie & Stephen Moss - Unplucked", in which Bill and his producer "share memories and stories from 15 years of some of the most popular natural history series ever made" has upcoming dates in April and May. The schedule is available from http://www.billoddie.com/bill-oddie-tour-dates.htm
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Mar)
* A new blog post from Bill was posted on the DiscoverWildlife.com (BBC Wildlife Magazine) website on April 5th:
(Lisa Manekofsky – 13th Apr)
* Bill Oddie's Bird Food Recipes is offering another chance to ask Bill a question. Here are the details, from this website:
It's time to #AskBillOddie a question. What would you like to know about birds, nature or Bill? Get your question on the list before 5 o'clock, May 14, and he might be recording a personal reply to you via YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/billoddiesbirdfood
Do you have a question you'd like to ask Bill Oddie? Would you like to know more about migrant birds, or ask why Bill thinks the humble House Sparrow has declined rapidly since the 1970s?
Perhaps you'd like to know the best way to attract more birds? Or why what can be done to help Starlings recover from a 79% population decline? Maybe you'd like to know if it's wise to feed birds in summer? Which - of course - it is! Perhaps you have a more personal question for Bill - what was it like to be in the Goodies!? When's he next on tour? We can't guarantee they'll all get answered - but we'll do our best to get as many answered as we can.
You haven't got long to put your thinking cap on though as we're filming on May 15.
Where to add your Ask Bill Oddie questions:
- On twitter - follow us @billsbirdfood and use #AskBillOddie to ask your question
Don't forget to add your name as this will be a personal reply!
So whatever the question within reason, please, #AskBillOddie is now open in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 10th May)
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
* Radio & TV shows:
- The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff – BBC Two (March) (New)
- The Matt Lucas Awards – BBC One (April) (New)
- The Unbelievable Truth – BBC Radio 4 (April) (New)
- Spy Nozy and the Poets – BBC Radio 4 (April) (Repeat)
- Interview: Bristol Slapstick Festival – BBC Radio Bristol (April) (New)
* Graeme will be appearing at the Chipping Norton Literary Festival on 21 April in an event called "An Audience with Graeme Garden". Details about the event can be found at http://chiplitfest.com/mh9-graeme-garden
Tickets can be booked from
(Lisa Manekofsky – 25th Feb)
TIM SPOTTINGS
* Radio & TV shows:
- Masterchef UK – BBC1 (March) (New)
It's Tim Bark-Taylor
Goodies star for BBC One animal show
Tim Brooke-Taylor is to front a new spoof news bulletin about animals, in what will be his first major TV comedy since the Goodies.
He will act as the newsreader for the six half-hour episodes, due to go out on BBC One at Saturday teatime.
Provisionally titled, Everyone Loves Animals, it will feature funny clips from the animal world.
He will be assisted by a sidekick dog, or 'newshound'. Stand-up Charlie Baker voiced the canine quipster in a not-for-broadcast pilot made last year, by Talkback will cast someone else now it is going to air, trade magazine Broadcast reports.
Producer Dan Baldwin said: 'As a nation of animal lovers, this series will get the whole family laughing.'
Read more:
(Lisa Manekofsky – 9th Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 10th Mar)
Brooke-Taylor delivers a Goodie at the New Theatre
Former Goodie Tim Brooke-Taylor lit up Cardiff's New Theatre with a night of witty banter and reflection on his long show business career.
Article | March 6, 2012 - 11:09am | By Cian Murray
What do John Cleese, Orson Welles and Alexander Armstrong all have in common?
The answer is they have all worked with comic actor Tim Brooke Taylor and if the good humoured questions and answers session held in Cardiff's New Theatre is anything to go by, they would all have greatly enjoyed the experience.
The event began with former BBC presenter Chris Searle discussing Brooke-Taylor's college years and his foray into theatre. The witty interactions coupled with some genuine nostalgia reminded the audience why Brooke-Taylor was, and in many cases still is, adored by lovers of comedy.
Brooke-Taylor studied economics and Law in Cambridge but he told the audience his passion lay with making people laugh, ever since he inadvertently got a magic trick wrong and left his classmates in hysterical laughter. This love of comedy sent Brooke-Taylor to the Cambridge Footlights university theatre society.
It was with Footlights Brooke-Taylor met John Cleese, Bill Oddie, Graham Chapman and Jonathan Lynn. Together the group toured the world with the Cambridge Circus. Brooke-Taylor, who was recently made an OBE, remembered this time with great affection although he did maintain that he did not believe it would lead to a career in comedy.
But Brooke-Taylor was always made for a show business career. He told the audience how the headmaster had written on one of his school reports: "If he fails his A-Levels, a career in musical comedy does not look unlikely."
His headmaster wasn't too far off the mark as Brooke-Taylor did make a splash in comedy, initially with At Last the 1948 Show, starring John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Marty Feldman, and then more famously with The Goodies.
As clips from Brooke-Taylor's various performances were shown amid questions from Searle, you couldn't help but feel like you were in the presence of a true comedy great. Brooke-Taylor's wit in describing how the BBC thought Marty Feldman's eyes might be too bizarre for television gave the event a relaxed, conversational mood.
Brooke-Taylor also touched on shows from later on in his career such as I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue, during which he said he saw Jack Dee as the perfect replacement for Humphrey Lyttelton, and his brief time working on One Foot in the Grave. He also touched on his brief time working with the difficult Orson Welles and on ill-fated medical drama TLC with Alexander Armstrong.
Brooke-Taylor told all his stories in his typically zany manner and concluded a wonderful evening with an audience discussion in which he shared his time generously with everyone.
Clearly, the audience were knowledgeable of Brooke-Taylor and in return he gave them their money's worth.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 13th Mar)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Mar)
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
* Radio shows:
- 1968 ISIRTA episode as part of 2's comedy - BBC Radio 4 Extra (March)
* From ISIHAC Newsletter (28th Feb):
Also, as we enter our 40th year, we’re embracing the digital age and are pleased to announce the launch of our brand new Clue website. From tomorrow (29th February), please visit www.isihac.net for full details about recordings, broadcasts and other Clue news, as well as photos, trivia, never before seen archive footage, and the long awaited complete collected rules of Mornington Crescent. www.isihac.net will also be the place to join in discussions about all aspects of the shows on our news message boards. We hope you’ll pay a visit and let us know what you think.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 28th Feb)
* Thanks to the Saucy Gibbon forum for this news: Graeme Garden's interview on BBC Radio Oxford from earlier today is now on the BBC iPlayer at http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00p03d6 (it starts at 1hr 15min in the show)
(Lisa Manekofsky – 3rd Mar)
* How strange... "2's Comedy" is about the early days of Radio 2, but they omitted the opening of this episode of ISIRTA, which was very relevant to the subject. I've uploaded this missing part, which is 2-1/2 minutes long.
(Kimba W. Lion – 9th Mar)
"The British Comedy Society are hosting a "Living Legend" luncheon, celebrating the life and career of the great Barry Cryer, OBE.
The event is open to the public and will take place on Sunday 29th April. As well as the man himself - other stars attending include Jack Dee, Harry Hill, Colin Sell, Graeme Garden and Sheila Steafel.
It should be a corking event, with loads of entertainment and a few quid raised for charity.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 13th Mar)
5. FEATURE ARTICLE – GRAEME GARDEN INTERVIEW
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(contributed by Lisa Manekofsky)
COTSWOLD CHARACTER: GRAEME GARDEN
By Cotswold Life on February 24th 2012
Comedy genius Graeme Garden is one of the stars of the first ever Chipping Norton Literary Festival, sponsored by Knight Frank, in April.
Goodie-goodie-yum-yum, says Katie Jarvis.
Now here's the thing. When I meet Graeme Garden, I am wearing the following: an open-weave oatmeal jumper; fluorescently pink (though not in a good way) skinny jeans; and heavy walking boots. If this were a Max Wall Lookalike Contest, I'd be deeply disappointed not to come at least a solid second.
"I am sorry," I explain, earnestly, the millisecond he opens his front door, "but I've just moved house. It was a struggle even to put this outfit together." For a fleeting moment, I have an image of someone in dungarees emblazoned with the letter 'G', intermittently and entertainingly intoning 'Funky gibbon' on stage. And I wonder whether an apology is strictly necessary. Which indeed it isn't. But not for hylobatidae (gibbon family) reasons. It could be considered surprising to have a journalist open with an extreme outfit-apology, but you wouldn't know it.
As Graeme quietly, warmly ushers me in, his wife, Emma, whirlwinds through the house (a 200-year-old Oxfordshire Cotswold cottage), sitting me down, brewing coffee, making me feel they've been anticipating my visit for years. I could have turned up in reindeer antlers and a wetsuit (my second choice) without anyone becoming overly concerned.
It's a relief. Because Dr Graeme Garden is my comedy hero. While others are more showy, louder and more ebullient, his jokes are so clever, they can slip under the radar. (I can still recall, when I was about eight, hearing him end a programme with, "If you've enjoyed this half as much as I have, then I've enjoyed it twice as much as you." It's not only funny; it's a lesson in how to construct a joke.) His CV says it all. An inadequate 'highlights' résumé runs thus: he fronted the Cambridge Footlights (while studying to be a doctor); cowrote and played in the BBC radio series I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again; along with Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie, he wrote and starred in The Goodies (who can ever truly eradicate from their darkest nightmares the Armageddon that was Kitten Kong?); in I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, he not only redefines humour but the English language itself (his revised dictionary meanings include: apres-ski - I've finished the yogurt; and dumbstruck - a white van).
I should be in awe, but the convivial atmosphere means we all flop naturally round the ancient Aga - me, Antony the photographer, Graeme and Em - not so much interviewing as throwing in comments whenever the fancy takes us. Such as: I listen to you all the time in I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (my favourite programme ever) and I never even knew you were here in the Cotswolds. (It's not like I've seen a trandem whizzing through Chippy or anything. And it's way off the Mornington Crescent map.)
"We were living in London, but we both were rather attracted to the idea of living in the country," Graeme explains. "We were looking for somewhere that was reasonably priced, and a friend of ours told us there was a little alleyway of affordable Cotswold housing before you get into the Cheltenham/Bath side."
Affordable? Affordable? According to the Times, Chipping Norton is about the only place on earth with property that's recession-proof. "Ah, well, since we came, the M40 happened so we're posher than we used to be." Umm. I was thinking more of the metaphorical fast lane being driven by the likes of David Cameron and Jeremy Clarkson.
"Ah, yes. I was MC-ing the Chipping Norton Music Festival just after the whole hacking scandal/Chipping Norton set stuff came out, and somebody said to me, 'The Guardian is here.' I said, 'The Banbury Guardian?'; and they said, 'No, THE Guardian. and the New York Times'.
"The Guardian journalist then collared me and asked what the people of Chipping Norton thought of the Chipping Norton set. So I got on the stage and asked, 'Are we pleased to be associated with the Chipping Norton set?' Murmur, murmur. 'Or do we not like it?' Murmur, murmur. "So, complete indifference."
You heard it here first. (Or second, presumably, if you read the Guardian.) Certainly, the move to the Cotswolds has been a triumph. Their son, Tom - now 27 and working as a conceptual artist in Sweden - went to the local village school, then on to Chipping Norton comp. "I thought going to a village school would be a good experience for young Tom, and it was for me, too. In fact, someone I knew from my local primary - which was near Preston in Lancashire - is a Morris dancer who lives near us in Finstock. I saw him at an event with bells round his leg and a cheese on his head." (Now there was a primary school that fostered individuality.)
In fact, the young Graeme went on to a posh school indeed, for he was sent to board at Repton, in Derbyshire, at the age of eight. Not that his was a dyed-in-the-wool public-school family: originating from the north east of Scotland ("where nobody is terribly posh"), his grandfathers were a farmer and a shopkeeper. For the first three years of his life, Graeme never saw his dad - an orthopaedic surgeon, who was stitching people together on the battlefields of the Second World War.
When he returned, the family moved 'south' to Preston, where Dr Garden senior pioneered motorway trauma treatment for casualties of the newly-built Preston bypass. When Graeme won a prized place at Emmanuel College, Cambridge, to study medicine, it looked as if his costly education had paid off. But, interestingly, he also underwent a social Damascene conversion. He tells of bumping into a grammar-school boy and automatically feeling superior. "I realised I didn't like what the boarding school education did to me, which was make me feel part of an elite that I hadn't really earned."
It was far from the only way that Cambridge was to change his outlook and, indeed, his life. For mystical reasons, Cambridge in the early 1960s was a magnet for comedy talent. He found himself in Footlights - the university's am dram club - with the likes of John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Eric Idle, who went on to form Monty Python; Clive James, Germaine Greer, Richard Eyre, Miriam Margolyes, Tony Palmer, Stephen Frears and, of course, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie.
Why such an explosion of talent? "I don't know," he muses. "It was a time when comedy was going through a bit of a sea change, I suppose. The jolly comfortable comedy that had seen people through the war had become more edgy and satirical and critical. And teenagers were invented and had spending
power.
"We came in on the coattails of the satire boom. The Americans - Mort Sahl, people like that - had kicked it off. And then Peter Cook and co did Beyond the Fringe and we followed on. We were labelled satirists, although we tried very hard not to be." Because? "Because we didn't want to compete. We did silly jokes, which turned out to be satirical anyway. The Goodies, oddly enough, was a very satirical programme."
So why wasn't he a Python rather than a Goodie? "I wasn't asked. I think it was down to all sorts of circumstances. We were all doing different things so it was a question of who was working with whom at what particular time. Tim and I and Bill ended up doing a show called Broaden Your Mind, while the Do Not Adjust Your Set people got together with Cleese and Chapman and did Monty Python. It would have been different had the personnel been in different combinations."
Whether written in the stars or sheer serendipity, Graeme, Tim and Bill ended up working together on their own show - and the first series of The Goodies went out on November 8, 1970. Each of the men played an exaggerated version of themselves: Tim (later with his Union flag waistcoat) was the patriotic wimp; Graeme, the mad scientist; and Bill was mainly defined by his facial hair. Colourful, surreal, slapstick, clever, it was a Tom and Jerry cartoon made flesh.
"I flinch occasionally when I see it described as a sketch show because it specifically wasn't. I also flinch when I see it described as a sitcom. It wasn't that either." In fact, each episode was a mini story, inspired by whatever was current and popular. Despite its light touch, it was, as Graeme says, deeply satirical. Their anti-apartheid programme, for example, came close to being banned. "Apartheid was rife in South Africa at the time, and we had a go at it. (In the Goodies' episode) all the black people left South Africa because they didn't like it and they had to have something else to be prejudiced about. So they had apart-height and Bill (who's 5ft 3in) was a second-class citizen. Bill and about 20 jockeys. We had some fairly bleak jokes in there: a piano with all the black keys down one end and all the white keys the other."
When the BBC did its big '70s season, it was suggested using an episode of The Goodies to illustrate each year of the decade, from punk to Kung Fu. The BBC decided not. To this day, it's unclear why the corporation is so curmudgeonly about repeating it. It was innovative both in terms of its humour and its technical effects; it was incredibly popular, and – what sincerer accolade can you get? - even had one of its viewers die laughing. "The wife actually wrote to us and said thank you for making his last moments so happy."
Is it hard to be so funny, professionally? To be comic on cue? "It is quite hard. I usually like to have a bit of time to work it out. Emma has this great thing that she asks me a question and it takes me ages to answer it." "I've got used to it now," she says. "I just think, I'll go off and have a cup of tea. And then he'll give me the answer and I'll think: What was the question?" But he is quick, and that's never more apparent than on Radio 4's much-adored I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. Although a proportion of it is prepared, much is ad lib. "The audience do quite like it if we fall flat on our faces. You can sometimes hear the sweat on the radio. One of the stickiest moments was in the very early days when John Cleese and Bill Oddie were doing it; they both hated it. John Cleese once, given some silly game to do, objected to it so much he poured his glass of water into the microphone."
Was Humph as lovely as he seemed? "He was lovely. He was quite a strange character - very, very private. He didn't let anyone have his phone number and, in fact, after he died we had a reception after the funeral at his home and his (jazz) band were there. It was the first time they'd ever been and they'd worked with him for years." Is Samantha really gorgeous? "Absolutely. For a woman of her age." Ever actually met Mrs Trellis? "We keep her at a distance." "Sven's pretty fit too," Emma adds. She and Graeme met when he turned to acting after The Goodies finished. He toured in several plays with the Cambridge Theatre Company, and did a year at the National. Emma's impressive career includes the RSC (she was in the original West End cast of Privates on Parade). Although she gave up when Tom was born, she's recently acted in two improvised films by independent filmmakers. One of them – Late September - is due to run at the Institute of Contemporary Arts in March.
The two of them are a great comic double-act: ("I'm actually a doctor so, if all else fails, I could theoretically go back and do that." "I'll go elsewhere, thank you."); and both talk warmly of Graeme's children from his first marriage - Sally, an assistant head teacher in Banbury, and John, a musician and composer who has toured with the Scissor Sisters. It must help that both he and Em know the entertainment business inside out. "Yes," Graeme acknowledges. "It's nice to know that, when I do have to go away, Emma understands. I'm off to the Slapstick Festival in Bristol soon, and then in Australia for a couple of weeks to do a TV series we're setting up there - an Australian version of The Unbelievable Truth."
The two of them are as funny as each other in their different ways. He tells a classic parrot-from-a-brothel joke to illustrate humour; she simply describes the two of them trying to climb an icy hill in Chipping Norton last winter. I'd like to be a fly on the wall in this house, I say, listening to their banter. Graeme shakes his head. "We only talk to each other when we've got the press in," he says, deadpan. "By the way," he adds, turning to Emma, "I didn't know you'd done movies." "Well I didn't know you were famous," she retorts.
Chipping Norton Literary Festival, sponsored by Knight Frank, presents An Audience with Graeme Garden on Saturday, April 21. For more information on the festival, which runs from April 20-22, visit www.chiplitfest.com
6. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #22
*************************************
(by Brett Allender)
GUEST STARS: PATRICK MOORE
Sir Patrick Alfred Caldwell-Moore was born in 1923 in Middlesex and is an amateur astronomer who has been a prolific writer and presenter of astronomy books and TV programs since the 1950s. A World War II veteran and former President of the British Astronomical Association, he was particularly keen on studying the Moon in his early years and it became his specialist subject throughout his career.
Moore began presenting 'The Sky At Night' on the BBC in 1957 and has continued to do so for more than 50 years; making him the world's longest-serving TV presenter, and he even had an asteroid named in his honour in 1982. A man of conservative political leanings (being the Chairman of the United Country Party during the 1970s), with forthright views on a range of topics, Moore has been happy to appear in many different TV and radio shows (including Just A Minute, Morecambe & Wise, Blankety Blanks and Doctor Who); often sending himself up or playing a rather eccentric character.
This is particularly the case in his six guest appearances in The Goodies between 1973 and 1980 where Moore appears as himself, but in rather quirky astronomical or scientific situations where he very much fits in with the Goodies-style mayhem that is invariably going on around him.
Moore's first guest appearance in The Goodies comes in Series 4 episode 'Invasion of the Moon Creatures', where James Burke (played by Roland Macleod) gives an update from the BBC Space Studio on the Goodies' space mission two hours after Tim and Bill have returned to Earth: "... and there seems to be some evidence that their physical condition has been in some way affected by their journey. In fact, to be perfectly honest, they've turned into rabbits." Shortly afterwards, Burke announces "And now, over to Patrick Moore for his views" and a stern-looking Moore appears against a starry backdrop and grumbles "Well it seems to me that the whole suggestion is absolutely ludi …" before two big buck rabbit's teeth suddenly appear in his mouth, pressing against his bottom lip to the extent that he can only mutter the remainder of his sentence. Moore then uses a carrot as a telescope to look to the sky before he starts to nibble away at it, as the camera cuts back to Burke; who says "Sorry to cut you off like that …" as he also starts to morph into a rabbit himself.
In Series 5 episode 'Lighthouse Keeping Loonies', BBC newsreader Corbet Woodall reports that a new comet has been discovered; which in reality is the Jolly Rock Lighthouse flying through the air with a lengthy trail of flames behind it after Bill has been silly enough to light a match to have a better look at the oil deposit that he has discovered underground. Woodall crosses to an enthusiastic and delighted Moore, who operates an impressive-looking telescope while commenting "This is extremely exciting. You should be able to see the comet, which appears as a bright red light in the northern sky if you look out your window right about now. Find the Sun and then up a bit … down a bit … across a bit … left a bit … right a bit …" A sheepish Woodall is then sprung trying to follow Moore's rapidly-changing directions with a small hand-held magnifying glass when the camera pans back to him,
The special 'Goodies Rule OK' sees Moore seated in the Goodies underground joke-easy along with a group of other entertainers (including Eddie Waring, Rolf Harris and Telly Savalas) who are now in power following the toppling of the Standing Party. Unfortunately though, the entertainers have been out of work for so long that they have forgotten how to do their old acts and a frustrated Graeme is charged with the responsibility of reminding the performers of what they should sound like with his brilliant mimicry skills. When it comes to Moore's turn, he starts off "If you train your telescope on the western sky tonight …" but he has the voice of 'Tonight' host Sue Lawley instead of his own, so with a surprised look, he coughs and repeats himself, only for it to still come out the same way, much to Graeme's dismay. Lawley then has Moore's voice as she deeply intones "In tonight's 'Tonight' we'll be taking a look at …", before she stops with a perplexed expression on her face. A little later after Graeme has caused Ernie Wise's wig to land on Savalas' head, he hears a northern-accented voice pipe up off-screen with "Ey'up, hang on a minute … "I've remembered how to do it." A relieved Graeme yells: "At last! One of you has actually got it right.", only to find that it is Moore speaking in Waring's voice: "If you train your telescope on the western sky tonight, you'll see ... Hull Kingston Rovers who had a terrific win over Rochdale Hornets with a couple of magnificent tries … not a bad lot there, Rochdale, but a few early baths for some of the lads after a little bit of nonsense!" Graeme walks away disgusted as Moore continues chattering away in the background.
'Punky Business' in Series 7 features a news report on Tim's lone campaign to 'Keep Britain's Shoes Shiny', which draws the wrath of politicians and the police force who have all joined the growing punk phenomenon. At the end of the bulletin, the BBC newsreader, who has also sunk to punk, picks his nose and thunders "That's the end of the [%^&$] news, so [#$%&]'s to the lotta ya! And now, The Sky At Night." At this point, the camera pans to a ferocious-looking, punked-up Moore (with piercings, chains and rumpled clothing), who obnoxiously swings his arm as if to motion for everyone to "sod off", then thumbs his nose and blows raspberries at the camera. Tim, who is watching this spectacle on TV in the office, is left to huff "Well at least I do my bit."
Series 8 episode 'U-Friend or UFO' also features a BBC News report which has been corrupted by the trombone-playing aliens that are in the process of taking over the Earth. Moore appears in the studio and gasps "Extraordinary! I've just had an enormous …!" before he stops and gapes in bewilderment as his hair has been spiked up into a shuttle shape by the aliens just like several other objects (such as a clay pot and the BBC News logo itself) that feature in the bulletin.
Moore's final Goodies appearance comes in the next episode, 'Animals', where he firstly has a brief appearance as a nocturnal owl-like creature peering through his telescope as part of Graeme's 'David Rabbitborough' documentary from the Galapagos Archipelago on fellow wildlife presenters. Later the Goodies and the various presenters need to quickly flee the BBC Studio before they are captured and killed (after Bill has caused an animal rebellion by cooking and eating a rabbit guest on the Rabid Frost Show) and disguise themselves as rabbits in the hope that the irate animals won't harm their own kind. They all escape through a trapdoor and into a series of burrows, as Graeme says "Moore, you go first. You can see in the dark!" and motions for him to take the lead. When the rabbits are outside on a grassy hill, Moore is observing the sky through his telescope when there is a call from Tim of "Look out Patrick!" and a hawk swoops and snaffles his telescope from out of his hands. This brazen theft causes Moore to go ballistic with lots of cursing and leaping about until Graeme tells him "Quiet. They'll hear us."
While I'm unable to source any direct comments from Moore about his guest roles in The Goodies; the following quotes sourced from Andrew Pixleys recent book 'The Goodies – Super Chaps Three' are a neat summation of what those involved with The Goodies thought of his efforts on the show. Tim Brooke-Taylor remarked of Moore: "Always very good …Always a sport.", while director Bob Spiers said of Moore's performance in 'Punky Business': "Patrick used to come in like a raging bull. He loved every single second of it. I think the boys had him in so many times that they were really good friends by then," Goodies fans would no doubt echo those sentiments as it was great to have such a well-known and much-respected guest star who was happy to appear on the show on multiple occasions and have fun fully immersing himself in the Goodies' sense of humour and silliness in the bargain.
Website article & photo gallery:
7. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #46
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THE BALLAD OF THE OK TEA ROOMS
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
WHO?
Since their last music review of "Show Me The Way", Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay) have indeed been lonely, lost and longing to go home, but Peaches' family changed the locks while she was away and the Emperor's family moved house altogether without telling him, so they continue to wander around the countryside, completely unwanted and unloved by anyone (rather like the plague of Rolf Harrises, but even the Rolfs were more popular!)
Therefore the Emperor has joined the only organization left for people like him – the Salvation Army – where he can fulfil his urge to wear a silly hat, enjoy barking commands at a line-up of Salvo ladies (until they rebel by pouring their hot tea all over him and shoving their biscuits up somewhere that makes him walk funny … the only time that the word "funny" has ever been used in conjunction with the Emperor, come to think of it!) and capture the Lone Scout, whose home-made atom bomb is the only thing on Earth that fizzles out even more lamely than the Emperor's jokes!
Meanwhile Peaches has sought directions to the Eurovision Raving Loony Contest, where she has been competing in style with lots of falling down, slipping on banana skins, being flattened by a train (providing Bill with another good ole country sound), headbutting a truck ("just putting on my Mack!") and being shot from a cannon, before accidentally being squashed by a 250kg slab of hindquarter beef that dropped on her from a crane as she was manoeuvring it into a giant roasting pan.
While waiting for the coroner's likely finding of "attempted silverside", we'd better cross over to the corned beef, er … Cornish town of Penenink and our duelling DJs for their review of "Bunfight (The Ballad Of The OK Tea Rooms)" by The Goodies.
WHERE? WHEN?
"Bunfight (The Ballad Of The OK Tea Rooms)" can only be heard in episode 5/12 Bunfight At The OK Tea Rooms, as it has not been released commercially on any of the Goodies' albums or CDs.
WHAT?
Lyrics: sung by Bill
Three brave men went searching
For a fortune in the west
Now they face each other in the dawn
The finale of their dream
In the land of clotted cream
Turned against their fellows
Who had a lust for jam and scones .... scOnes!
Men called him Wild Bill Oddie
And his friend was Texas Tim
They walked tall with their tomatoes in their hand
Their foe was Greedy Graeme
Who felt sure that he could slay 'em
With his pair of red ripe squirters
They'd be defeated easily
On and on strode Graeme
On and on strode Bill and Tim
'Til at last they stood there silent face to faces
Then Graeme softly spoke
And he pulled his master stroke
By suggesting that they turn their backs
And walk eleven paces
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...... ooooh!
All hell broke loose in Pennenink
No citizen was safe
With Graeme's tomato flying through the dust
And nobody can say
How much sauce was spilt that day
But by the end those two brave men
Were lying in the dust
(instrumental break)
His chums lay in the ketchup
And his gal ran to his arms
But even as they kissed she met her doom
For if you double-cross a friend
You'll get squirted in the end
At the Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms
At the Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms!
WHY?
(Peaches Stiletto):
Not since Gary Cooper strolled down the center of town to the lilting music of Dimitri Tiomkin and echoes of Ned Washington's refrain "Do not forsake me, oh my darling," has a song been so closely connected with a classic cinematic Western showdown. Bill belts out this ballad with bravado, telling the tragic tale of our three heroes who were once friends but are now bitter enemies. Wild Bill Oddie and Texas Tim, having been repeatedly cheated and swindled by the villainous Greedy Graeme (who is every bit as avarice as he was as the head of the Goodies Pirate Radio Station / Post Office) have no choice but to confront their nemesis with their red ripe squirters, all other gentlemanly means having been extinguished by the use of a nefariously placed toaster. It should be noted that the penultimate scene leading up to this finale has been strictly dialogue-free, so it is extremely refreshing to delve into a narrative song which spells out exactly what is happening as it is happening, parodying a device overtly used in many westerns. (One blatant case in point is the theme song to the John Wayne / Kirk Douglas horse opera The War Wagon. The lyrics of that opening ballad, which also happens to come from the pens of Tiomkin and Washington, proclaim rather unnecessarily "Look at those horses, what're they draggin'? Heavily guarded, what is that wagon?") Missing from most western movie songs is that nifty little pop beat which is so immediately identifiable as Goodies music, that comes between the lyrics during the height of the bloody, or rather tomatoey, carnage. It's a shame no version of this song separate from the laugh track and sound effects exists, as it would certainly earn a place in any "best of" soundtrack collection! Tiomkin and Washington, eat your hearts out, maybe with some strawberry jam and scones (pronunciation of the latter still up for debate!)
(Emperor Caligula):
It's the big bunfight in Penninink, and Wild Bill and Texas Tim have got themselves in a bit of a jam – strawberry jam in fact, with a side-order of scones (make that "scOnes" if you insist!) for good measure. It's all dairy well and good to seek a showdown in the land of clotted cream, but their face-to-faces duel is with none other than the devious Greedy Graeme and his pair of red ripe squirters. Rather than being a squirt himself, Greedy Graeme is actually the main sauce of this confrontation of condiments and will relish the chance to gun down his fellow Goodies in a miso-match of firepower when it really splatters; a gravy prospect that rightly has Tim and Bill in a pickle. A shootout in Worcestershire might have been more chilli, soy they say apparently, butt-er the streets of Penninink will end up paved with fools cream for Greedy Graeme when his gal meets her doom first; as his lust for jam and scones will ketchup with him eventually and he'll cop his self-inflicted just desserts to the hauntingly menacing tune of this fantastic "gold top" song.
HOW!
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
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(Peaches Stiletto)
(Emperor Caligula)
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8. GOODIES WORDFINDER
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(by Brett Allender)
This puzzle contains hidden words and phrases relating to The Goodies episode "Radio Goodies"
Try to find all the listed words in the puzzle. Words may be found horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. Upon completion, the 21 unused letters can be rearranged to form a solution of six words (1, 4, 2, 3, 5 & 6 letters) from this episode - clue: "Radio Goodies hit parade"
The solution will also be published in next month's newsletter.
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WORD LIST
Adrift
Atlantic
Black Forest
Boat
Boom
Bottle
Bus
Can't
Cheque
Close
Edinburgh
Five Mile Limit
Fiver
Fog
Genius
Goobies
GPO
Groupie Girls
Hit
Jingle
Kayak
Leader
Lie
Limo
Loony
Mail
Megalomaniac
Pirate
Plot
Postmark
Rage
Saucy Gibbon
Scheme
Sensation
Sinking
Stamp
Tiny
Tow
Transmitter
Walk
9. GOODIES CROSSWORD SOLUTION
*******************************
From C&G 191:
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10. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
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(a) Tim
(b) Jockeys (or Short people)
(c) South Africa
(d) A three-part folk song
(e) "What a load of rubbish!"
(f) Llan llubber
(g) Tea
(h) By including half of the Welsh International team in their lineup
YOUR SCORE:
8 Mastermind Of The Year
7 Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Goody Goody effort
1-2 Time to watch some more episodes
0 Are you sure you're not Rolf Harris?!
NEXT C&G QUARTERLY EDITION:
- #193: 12th August 2012
Updated to C&G 185 (April 2011)
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