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C&G 190 Nov 2011
Nov 2011 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 12/11/2011

Index

» Nov 2011

 
 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
Issue No. 190                     12th November 2011
  
CLUB WEBSITE
 
http://www.goodiesruleok.com
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 492
Rosanna VIC 3084, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER & FEATURE ARTICLE WRITER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
MUSIC REVIEWER
- Linda Kay
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- Jeffers, Andrew Pixley, Saucy Gibbon, Mike Dale, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Kimba W. Lion, Isabell Olevall, ponyharvest, Edna, Jenny_Gibbon
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE – Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings
4. 2001 AND A BIT – Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. FEATURE ARTICLE - The Quest For Goodies DVD Bonus Features
6. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #20 – Sports & Games
7. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #45 – Show Me The Way
8. GOODIES WORD PUZZLE
9. GOODIES WORDFINDER SOLUTION - from C&G 189
10. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Oi Baldy, you don't half look ugly now you've shaved your beard off, you DREARY LITTLE WART!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Who is he speaking to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: These questions are from the episode "The Race"
 
(d) Which item of French cuisine does Bill have trouble eating?
(e) What does the steering wheel on Tim's "car" consist of?
(f) Which three directions are shown by the indicators that Graeme has installed on his car?
(g) Which country's driver ends up staggering along the track inside a pile of tyres?
(h) In which location does the Baron's hand grenade eventually explode?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
TIRED OF TEXT C&Gs? WHY NOT WORD INSTEAD?
(With huge thanks to Mike Dale for his creativity!)
 
Bill: Right!   Right! We'd like to receive the Goodies Clarion & Globe newsletter in the new, supersonic, hi-fi, ultra-modern, Wordy format please! (Folds arms and grins)
 
Graeme: (Smiles smugly) Yes, what Bill is trying to say, in his...charming rustic manner, is that we, being in possession of a modern, 4-processor Personal Computer with 1.8 Terabytes of disk and 2 Gigabytes or Random Access Memory, would like to request that future copies of the Goodies Clarion and Globe be delivered to us in Microsoft Word format.   Thank you!
 
Tim: (Disgusted) Microslosh Werp Format!   What utter tosh!    I remember when *real* newspapers were delivered by *real* paperboys on *real* bicycles and the news was decent, and respectful...
 
Bill: Yeah, Christine Keeler, way hay!!!
 
Tim: (pretending not to have heard) ...and the Royal family were looked up to and *never* subjected to...filthy, bearded little paparazzi like you!
 
Bill: (Smug, nudging Tim) Er....*she* uses it...you know!
 
Tim: (Shocked) You don't mean....!
 
Graeme: Yes, he's right Tim, the whole Royal Family are right up with modern computer technology.   Websites, social networking, Twitter...you know, I've heard Princes Anne even has an internet betting account at Ladbrokes!
 
Bill: And the Corgis' breeding records are all in the Royal database!   
 
Tim: No!   (Sniffs) I'm sure *she* never besmirches her Royal, lily-white hands with a...mouse!   (Becoming doubtful) ...let alone this Microscopic...Worm...thing...
 
Graeme: Now Tim, this is the 21st century and we can't afford to be behind the times.    The Goodies Clarion and Globe is available in Word format, and that's how we should be receiving it.   If you still prefer to receive your copy on wax tablets delivered by carrier pigeon, you can pay for it yourself!
 
---
 
The Goodies Clarion & Globe is indeed available in Word format as an alternative to the plain text version which is sent out via the Newsletter mailing list. The document is in Word 97-2003 & 6.0/95 format so that it is compatible with all versions of Word, has two columns per page for better readability, contains properly formatted crosswords and puzzles (a big advantage over the text version) and is generally around 500 - 600KB in size.
 
If you'd prefer to receive the C&G as a Word file, simply e-mail clarion@goodiesruleok and request to be transferred to the Word list. However if you're happy to keep receiving it in text format then you don't have to do anything and it will be sent out to you by e-mail as per usual.
 
 
GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES UPDATES
 
The following Goodies Episode Summaries and photo galleries have been updated on GROK since the previous edition of the C&G was published:
 
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
 
R.I.P JOHN HOWARD DAVIES
 (Lisa Manekofsky – 24th Aug)
 
Goodies producer/director John Howard Davies has passed away at age 72 after a battle with cancer. More details are available from The Mirror:
 
 
 
GOODIES REPEATS
(Lisa Manekofsky – 12th Nov)
 
* Mondays - The Goodies is being repeated on The Comedy Channel Australia on Mondays at 10:00am, with the next episode being "Winter Olympics" on 14 Nov. Watch http://www.thecomedychannel.com.au/WhatsOn/Detail.aspx?id=211  for info about upcoming episodes.
 
BRISTOL SILENTS FOOTAGE
 (Lisa Manekofsky – 1st Sep)
 
Bristol Silents, the organization which organizes the Bristol Slapstick Festivals, has posted some clips used in last year's festival on its YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/SlapstickFest
 
Of special interest is part 2 of the documentary about Fred Karno, at http://www.youtube.com/user/SlapstickFest#p/u/8/X8Pxfr-MQiQ . This includes footage of a 1972 dinner at Karno's "Karsino" resort (prior to the run down building's demolition); at about 11 minutes 46 seconds into the film you can catch a brief glimpse of Tim and Graeme.
 
Also on this YouTube Channel are clips that were shown during the "Slapstick Special Event: The Goodies in Conversation" last November - note this is footage that was shown onscreen during the Q&A and presentation, such as clips from The Goodies and tributes to the trio, not footage of the Q&A and presentation themselves (which can be found online at http://www.dshed.net/goodies-conversation ).   The new YouTube "stuff from the screen" clips can be found at
 
 
 
 
 
EE BAH GOOM, CHUCKIE!
 (Jeffers – 14th Sep)
 
Ecky Thump! An event we may have missed on Sept 11th was The World Black Pudding Throwing Championships.
 
The new world champion is an Australian.
 
See this report from the Lancashire Telegraph.
 
 
TV DUO the Hairy Bikers led one of the most bizarre world championships in the sporting calendar yesterday – Ramsbottom’s World Black Pudding Throwing Championships.
 
The food critics, chefs and travel writers, David Myers and Simon King headed to The Oaks, in Bridge Street, to lead hundreds of hopefuls attempting to gain the prestigious title.
 
Contestants competed to dislodge the highest number of Yorkshire puddings from a 20ft high ledge by throwing three black puddings, supplied by Chadwicks of Bury.
 
Visitors from all over the world flocked to the town to battle it out for a £100 top prize and the honour of being a bona fide world champion.
 
Australian Warwick Turner scooped the title after dislodging eight Yorkshire puddings from a 20ft high ledge.
 
 
GOODIES MUSIC
 
Thanks to fan club member ponyharvest for posting the following in the forums:
 
I was invited to be a guest on Jonny Trunk's 'OST' (=Original Sound Track) show on Resonance FM on Saturday, in amongst library records, Italian spaghetti western themes, Sheffield-based musicals and BBC sound effects I played a couple of Oddie musical numbers, 'Boomerang Love' from The Clown Virus and 'Sing Us A Song' from ISIRTA and talked a bit about the incidental music from the Goodies shows and Andrew Pixley's book (which was only fair as most of my information about this had come from there!)
 
It's repeated this Wednesday 26th 3 - 5pm (UK time) on 104.4FM in the Central London area, and via their website http://resonancefm.com/ to the rest of the world.
(Lisa Manekofsky - 26th Oct)
 
 
CLUNK, CLICK … R.I.P. JIMMY SAVILE
 
Jimmy Savile, the eccentric radio broadcaster who the Goodies had fun sending up on various occasions (most notably Graeme in "Chubby Chumps") has died at the age of 84.
 
 
(Brett Allender – 31st Oct)
 
 
GOODIES GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST
 
Goodies Gingerbread House Contest 2011 – celebrating classic comedy TV series The Goodies with the use of gingerbread. Choose anything Goodies related, re-create it in gingerbread and enter the contest – and you stand a chance of being a winner! For information on the Goodies-related prizes you can win, keep an eye on http://goodiescontest.wordpress.com
 
There are two classes to enter:
 
House class: Bake the parts yourself or use pre-made gingerbread snaps, and assemble them into a 3D house/creation. Don’t forget the decorations – icing is usually the main thing, but other edibles can also be used.
 
Decoration class: Use icing and other edibles to decorate one or more gingerbread snaps.
 
(one entrant per class per person, so you can enter both classes with two different contributions – and remember all parts must be edible)
 
Take photos of your contributions (House class 2-4 photos, Decoration class 1-2 photos) and email them to goodiescontest@gmail.com
 
Your contributions should be sent in before
MIDNIGHT (your local time) December 12th
 
The online voting will take place in December, and winners will be announced as soon as possible after that. All information will be available on the contest website: http://goodiescontest.wordpress.com
 
You can also follow on twitter @goodiescontest for any news & updates!
 
(Lisa Manekofsky – 1st Nov)
 
-----
 
Last year, in December, a friend of mine showed me a gingerbread house she and her husband had made. It instantly made me think of a Goodies episode, and I thought that would be a great concept for a contest. And so, the Goodies Gingerbread House Contest was born! (after several months of not thinking about it, until the past month when suddenly everything had to be sorted out quickly to give you time to actually take part in the contest)
 
A few days ago, the basics were finally decided upon and the contest was launched. There's a website/blog at http://goodiescontest.wordpress.com, where you can find details about the contest rules, prizes and so on. I might also have to write up something about how to make gingerbread and gingerbread houses, because everybody might not be familiar with that! But the internet should be brimfull of recepies, hints and ideas - so by all means don't wait around for my instructions before you start baking ;)
 
If you are a Goodies Podcast listener, you know that Jeffers said they have kindly donated some really nice prizes (a photo is on the blog), and to that I will add something and Lisa has kindly also donated something (see how I'm making you want to go to the blog every day to find out about all the prizes...? ;))
 
One of the main ideas with this contest is to make sure people all over the world can join in - as long as you can cobble something together from gingerbread (or decorate gingerbread snaps with icing), and take a few digital pictures and email them to me at goodiescontest@gmail.com before midnight Dec 12th, then you are in the running to be a contest winner :) (the other main idea is to combine Goodies and Gingerbread - and the third main idea is that you get to eat your contribution after the contest is over)
 
I have a pdf file with the basic info that I can send out upon request. Baking skills are definitely not necessary if store-bought gingerbread biscuits are used, and if people want to enter as a team that's perfectly ok.
 
(Isabell Olevall – 1st Nov)
 
 
 
CULTURE FOR THE MASSES
 
The Goodies And Some Untold Kapers
‎***Volunteers needed for next Goodies Art Exhibition!***
Dates : 26th Jan- 2nd Feb 2012
(closed on Sunday 29th Jan 2012)
Location:Bristol, at Centrespace Gallery.
 
Duties: Help put paintings up on 26th Jan and take down on the 2nd Feb.
Opening up and putting out A-boards (poster display boards) on surrounding streets... etc. And attending the building during opening hours. the times will be 10am to 5pm(except Sunday). Times to be arranged for the 26th, 27th Jan and 2nd Feb. I need at least 5 willing people. (would help being fans of The Goodies!) **Due to gallery rules I can't do it alone!** If you're interested please contact me via Facebook and my e-mail address is jenny.doyle0@googlemail.com . Your help would be very much appreciated! Thanks! :)
 
 
THE GOODIES PODCAST
 
New Goodies Podcasts since the previous C&G:
 
#65: Commentary: Wacky Wales
#66: Interview: Robert Ross
GP News Update: 26th Aug
GP Update September
#67: 2011 & A Bit (Special commentary of Kitten Kong from young fans)
#68: Commentary: Punky Business
Mini Pod: Great Gorilla Run
#69: Commentary: Gender Education
#70: Commentary: Rome Antics
GP Update: October
GP Fan Update: 24th October
#71: Commentary: A Collection of Goodies
GP Update: 7th November: Banana Bill Bundy
 
You can find these and other great commentaries and interviews at: http://goodiespodcast.libsyn.com/  
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: groksite@gmail.com
Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
Please note: BBC RADIO SHOWS listed below can be heard online via each station's website (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 or www.bbc.co.uk/radio4extra ) and then for a week after broadcast from the BBC iPlayer (aka Listen Again), www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer Radio shows on the iPlayer should be available for listening worldwide.
 
(* All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited *)
 
GENERAL SPOTTINGS
 
* I came across this on twitter and am really excited for all the radio shows that Tim, Bill and Graeme have been involved in - hopefully they will all be available online in this new "Audiopedia" archive. But which versions will be included...? As we've sen from the works of Kimba and other radio episode restorers, sometimes the original version broadcast is not what gets repeated afterwards.
Full article is available on:
BBC to open vast radio archive online The BBC is to introduce a new radio website, codenamed 'Audiopedia', to contain virtually its entire archive of speech radio programmes going back to the 1940s.
(Isabell Olevall – 4th Nov)
 
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* Radio & TV shows:
- Celebrity Eggheads - Series 3 Episode 4 (Repeat) (Aug)
- Interviews on Insight Radio & Magic 105.4 (Aug)
- BBC One's "The One Show" (Sep)
- BBC Radio 5' "Men's Hour" (Aug – Saucy Gibbon)
- Comedy Controller, (Repeat) (Sep)
- BBC One's "Would I Lie to You" (Oct)
 
 
* A new book by Jonathan Lynn titled "Comedy Rules: From the Cambridge Footlights to Yes, Prime Minister" includes reminiscences about his days traveling with "Cambridge Circus" along with future Goodies & Pythons. Bill Oddie is mentioned in the following Daily Mail article about the book which appears online at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-2030076/Having-laugh-Comic-tales-man-fun-men-Ministry-COMEDY-RULES-FROM-THE-CAMBRIDGE-FOOTLIGHTS-TO-YES-PRIME-MINISTER-BY-JONATHAN-LYNN.html?ito=feeds-newsxml  
(26th Aug)
 
 
* Bill will be launching Celebrating Age Festival 2011 at Bristol M Shed museum on 30th August. Details appear online at http://www.guide2bristol.com/news/1614/Bill-Oddie-to-launch-Celebrating-Age-Festival-2011-at-Bristol-M-Shed-museum
(27th Aug)
 
 
* An article titled "Goodie Bill Oddie launches celebration of generations" from earlier today (31 Aug) appears on the This is Bristol website at http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Goodie-Oddie-launches-celebration-generations/story-13236097-detail/story.html  The website includes a photo of Bill with some of the attendees.
(31st Aug)
 
 
* An article in the Camden New Journal regarding the closure of the Grove Centre mental health facility which contains quotes from Bill appears online at: http://www.camdennewjournal.com/news/2011/sep/grove-centre-mental-health-closure-%E2%80%98ghastly%E2%80%99-says-bill-oddie  
(3rd Sep)
 
 
*The following article appeared on The Telegraph's website Saturday regarding Bill being disappointed by the 'lack of communication' from the BBC:
(20th Sep)
 
 
* An article appeared in the Mail Online about Bill opening this year's Great Gorilla Run:
(Jeffers – 25th Sep)
 
 
* Bill participated in the "Scribble a Squirrel" fundraising event – his contribution is being auctioned on eBay at: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290614750003
Note that the auction ends on 9 October at 13:07:46 BST.
(6th Oct)
 
 
* Take a tour of Bill Oddie's garden in this 6 minute YouTube video from Bill Oddie's Bird Food's YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvlnLL5PkS8  
(6th Oct)
 
 
* Bill was interviewed attending the UK premiere of the film "Dolphin Tale"; the clip was posted by LeicesterSquareTV on September 25th at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDFt-cP0A_0  
(6th Oct)
 
 
* DWPub is looking for a journalist to cover children who won a school competition spending a day with Bill Oddie at the Wetlands Center in London. The details from the press release are at: http://www.responsesource.com/releases/rel_display.php?relid=67477
(6th Oct)
 
 
* Bill will be participating in the Halesworth Arts Festival on October 21st by presenting a talk about conservation and some of his favourite East Anglian wildlife haunts in a fundraising event for the World Land Trust, according to an article at http://www.eadt.co.uk/news/features/halesworth_festival_cuts_loose_1_1078643
(6th Oct)
 
 
* The Telegraph article "British Tree Week: Best woodland walks" (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/gardening/plants/trees/8804203/British-Tree-Week-Best-woodland-walks.html ) from 4 October includes a contribution from Bill.
(6th Oct)
 
 
* This is an old item, from 5 November 2008, but I just came upon it. The Marshwood Vale Magazine has a long interview with Bill, from when he was promoting his autobiography, entitled "Bill Oddie- Recovery Happens". The article can be found online at http://www.marshwoodvale.com/item/recovery-happens-bill-oddie.html?category_id=5
(6th Oct)
 
 
* The BillOddiesBirdFood's YouTube channel is posting many clips of Bill answering fan's questions. 
(12th Oct)
 
 
* Bill was one of the celebrities to donate shoes for a charity auction, according to an article at http://www.looktothestars.org/news/7146-celebrity-shoes-go-under-the-hammer-at-charity-event .
The article has a fun photo of Bill and the shoes (which were sold for £350.00)
(18th Oct)
 
 
* Via the shoe auction article I found a page about which charities and causes Bill has supported - don't know if it's accurate, but it's at http://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/2731-bill-oddie
(Isabell Olevall – 18th Oct)
 
 
* Bill Oddie has made a video in support of the BBC's "Give an Hour" Campaign, which "encourages everyone to give just one hour to help someone you know get online."
Information about the campaign can be found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/connect/campaigns/give_an_hour.shtml which provides a link to another clip with Bill which can only be accessed by those in the UK: http://www.bbc.co.uk/connect/campaigns/gah_bill_oddie.shtml
(22nd Oct)
 
 
* Bill Oddie takes part in the BBC Wildlife Magazine's October Podcast, which can be heard or downloaded from http://www.discoverwildlife.com/podcasts
In addition, Bill has written a column entitled "Bill Oddie: unplugged" for the magazine, which can be read online at http://www.discoverwildlife.com/blog/bill-oddie-unplugged  
(28th Oct)
 
 
* An article in today's Independent (http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2011/11/11/caught-social-the-lowe-down/ ) says "A good cause for Goodie Claus. Bill Oddie showed up at luxury department store Fortnum & Mason in London last night, campaigning on behalf of Peta against its selling foie gras. The very unkind might say it looks like he'd had one too many eggnogs, but we're sure it was just a combination of red make-up and a heavy sack. "All I want for Christmas is for Fortnum & Mason to pull foie gras from its shelves, once and for all,"he said. Most chaps are happy to make do with socks."
Peta's blog provides more detail, as well as a photo of Bill in his Santa garb.
(12th Nov)
 
 
* Bill and the producer of his wildlife shows, Stephen Moss, will be appearing at the Brewhouse Theatre & Arts Centre at Taunton in Somerset (UK) on 25 April 2012. Details are available from http://www.thebrewhouse.net/main-house/1260/bill-oddie-un-plucked , which also includes a link to purchase tickets.
(12th Nov)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* Radio & TV shows:
- The radio adaptation of the "Yes Minister" episode "The Death List" (Aug)
- The Right Time, Series 1 (Repeat) (Sep)
- The radio adaptation of the "Yes Minister" episode "The Death List" (Aug)
- The Right Time, Series 1 (Repeat) (Sep)
- Sony Entertainment TV - "Holby City" – 2 episodes (Repeat) (Oct)
- Murder Most Horrid – GOLD (Repeat (Nov)
 
 
* Stephanie Flower, CEO of Ryder-Cheshire Volunteers, tweeted that Graeme Garden will be attending their Silver Jubilee event National Conference - 'The Personalisation of Adult Social Care: Overcoming the challenges facing providers and practitioners'.
The conference is on Wednesday 21st September, 2011 at the Crowne Plaza, NEC Birmingham, UK.
Graeme is the Patron of RCV.
The RCV website, with message from Graeme, can be found here:
(Jeffers - 28th Aug)
 
 
* Graeme was mentioned in the Daily Mail's Hothouse Property Gossip article on 29 Aug which appears online at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/property/article-2031378/HOTHOUSE-PROPERTY-GOSSIP-One-Show-Matts-year-sale.html
(1st Sep)
 
 
* Graeme opened the Enstone Show (his community's local agricultural show) again this year and the event was covered by Cotswold TV. They interviewed Graeme and you can see the interview (in interspersed parts) at the following link:
(Jeffers – 3rd Sep)
 
 
* There's a photo of Graeme holding his OBE for services to Light Entertainment (which the caption says he "received from The Princess Royal during an investiture ceremony at Windsor Castle") at: http://www.royal.gov.uk/LatestNewsandDiary/Gallery.aspx?image=/List%20Images/Latest%20News/Oct%2011/LN-PSSR-Oct11-Invest-2.jpg
For those who were wondering, Tim is due to receive his medal next month (at a ceremony at Buckingham Palace on November 18th).
(6th Oct)
 
 
* Thanks to Edna for the news that the 6 November edition of The Ed Doolan show (from BBC WM) repeated a 1980's interview of Graeme Garden promoting his book "The Best Medicine".
The full show is still available on the BBC iPlayer until 12:02PM Sun, 13 Nov 2011 (UK time) from http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00lc7hq/Ed_Doolan_06_11_2011/
(12th Nov)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Radio & TV shows:
- Hello Cheeky episode from 16/05/1976 (Repeat) (August)
- Little Howard's Big Question - Series 3 Episode 8 (Aug)
- BBC Radio's Today Programme (Marty Feldman piece featuring Tim with Robert Ross) (Aug - Andrew Pixley)
- Little Howard's Big Question (Repeat) (episode entitled "Why Do Things Have to Die?") (Sep)
- BBC Radio 4 "A Family Business: The Chaplin Legacy" (narrated by Tim) (Repeat) (Oct)
 
 
* A reminder that Tim will be at the Malvern Theatres this coming Wednesday (16 November) for one of his "Tim Brooke-Taylor in Conversation" shows.
Following are details from the theatre's website at http://www.malvern-theatres.co.uk/events/1059.html , which also provides a link to book tickets online; telephone bookings can be made by calling the Box Office on 01684 892277
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor
In conversation with Chris Serle
Tim Brooke-Taylor has been delighting audiences with his gentle, zany humour ever since he rocketed from the Cambridge Footlights into West End stardom trading custard pies with John Cleese and one-liners with Bill Oddie in the hugely successful Cambridge Circus revue. That was only the start of a sparkling career which includes the long-running TV series The Goodies, BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again in which he starred with Cleese and the "antidote to panel games" I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, now in its 39th year, appearing in countless stage productions and writing a few books.
Those are just a few of the subjects this much-loved performer will be covering in conversation with the broadcast journalist Chris Serle. Given time Tim will also tell us how he directed Orson Welles in a film, helped Sevvy Ballesteros with his golf swing, appeared as Victor Meldrew's neighbour in One Foot in the Grave and much, much more. You'll have the chance to put your own questions to Tim at the end. Join Tim Brooke-Taylor in conversation with Chris Serle at Malvern Theatres
(12th Nov)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* Radio shows (all repeats):
- I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - the first episode - with Tim, Graeme & Bill (Aug)
- I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again - Series 8 Episode 7 (Aug)
- An episode of "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (Sep)
- Hamish & Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea – Series 2, Episode 1 (Repeat) (Sep)
- I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (repeats of older episodes) - RTE Choice (Nov)
- Hamish & Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea – Series 1, Episode 1 (Repeat) (Nov)
 
* The "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" stage tour, with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, Jeremy Hardy, & Jack Dee, will be playing at The Lowry in Salford on Sunday, 4 Sept.
(1st Sep)
 
 
* Tim Brooke-Taylor asked us to pass along his recommendation for a book written by Ben Hatch, the son of David Hatch (who many of you may know from his work with Tim, Graeme, & Bill in the radio series "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again"). The book is "Are We Nearly There Yet?: A Family's 8000 Miles Around Britain in a Vauxhall Astra " which can be seen on Amazon's UK site at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Are-We-Nearly-There-Yet/dp/1849531552/ 
 
Tim said, "Ben Hatch has written a cracking book, I think. He and his wife have been writing guides for Frommer's and they travelled round the UK with their young kids. I think it's a funny, sad, outspoken book which has hints of the Brit sitcom Outnumbered. It also features through the book the slow and sad death of David Hatch which is particularly moving, if you feel so inclined."
(28th Sep)
 
 
* Between the end of ISIRTA's 8th series and the start of the 9th (episode 1 of the 9th series is currently available from Radio 4extra: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b009zbr2 ), there was a 45-minute special show broadcast on New Year's Eve 1970.
I have not been able to track down a high-quality complete recording of this show, nor have I seen any evidence of a repeat of it in recent years on the BBC. I have found two different recordings, each with significant problems, but good enough to work with. I have used them to compile a version of the show that runs just over 46 minutes, so it may be more complete than the original broadcast (like often happens with the Goon Show restorations that are on CD).
While it's far from perfect, I'm offering it for anyone who may want it to complete their ISIRTA collection. And if anyone wants to say, hey, I have a better-sounding copy of this show, I'd receive it gratefully.
(Kimba W. Lion – 6th Oct)
 
 
* Someone just asked me for the first two episodes of the Time Trousers series of ISIRTA, which I had not posted previously. There's no good reason for that except that I decided to start posting after working on e3 and no one had asked for 1 and 2 until now. I've posted them now; the links are below.
(Kimba W. Lion – 17th Oct)
 
 
* After playing every episode of ISIRTA from every series (save the Christmas specials), BBC Radio 4 Extra has skipped over numbers 5 and 6 from the last series. While I can easily imagine that they would be afraid of controversy over the content of episode 5 (Song of the South), they did release that show on CD (volume 4) so... I dunno. The Beeb works in mysterious ways.
Episode 6 (Oklahoma) has nothing in it that would make them squeamish, as far as I can tell. There is a sketch about Nixon and his Watergate tapes that could be considered dated, but in past rebroadcasts the Watergate tapes sketch simply went missing (I'm sure the irony of that decision was lost on the ones who decided to cut it), so I don't know why the whole show should be scratched now.
Anyway, here's the whole episode 6, including Nixon and all that: https://rapidshare.com/files/926724261/ISIRTA_-_1973-12-09_s9e6__27m09s__-_Oklahoma_wlr.mp3
I trust ISIRTA fans will have the CD with episode 5 on it.
(Kimba W. Lion – 2nd Nov)
 
 
* Mondays starting 14 November - NEW SERIES of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30, with each repeated the following Sunday at noon. 
     Here's a listing for the first episode, "Radio 4's antidote to panel games returns for its 56th series with regulars Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden plus Jeremy Hardy on the panel and its reluctant chairman Jack Dee. The series starts its run at Guildford's brand new venue G-Live. Regular listeners will know to expect inspired nonsense, pointless revelry and Colin Sell at the piano."
(12th Nov)
 
 
5. FEATURE ARTICLE
 
THE QUEST FOR GOODIES DVD BONUS FEATURES
 (by Lisa Manekofsky)
 
In honor of The Goodies 40th anniversary last year, new DVDs were released in England and Australia; these included a collection of eight new-to-DVD episodes as well as repackages of previously released material. While it's great that all the officially released Goodies episodes are now back in print, the repackages have created an extremely confusing situation for those interested in the bonus materials. This article summarizes which bonus features can be found on each release; it also includes cautions about items that may become harder to find, due to some titles which have or may soon go out of print. 
 
To date, 31 episodes of The Goodies have been released on DVD in the UK and Australia. There were three collections which each contained eight of the BBC episodes plus one collection with the seven episodes from the LWT series (Goodies series 9). Below is a listing of all bonus features ever released for each collection of episodes, followed by a breakdown of which bonus items can be found on each official release. "Bonus Feature Checklists", which provide a quick reference in the form of a chart, can be found on the Goodies Illustrated Guide website at http://www.thegoodies.info/dvd_release_comparisons.html
 
BBC COLLECTION 1:
 
Contains the episodes: Tower of London, Gender Education, Kitten Kong, The Goodies and the Beanstalk, Kung Fu Kapers, Lighthouse Keeping Loonies, Earthanasia, and Saturday Night Grease.
 
Bonus features:
·         commentaries on three episodes (Kitten Kong, Beanstalk, & Lighthouse)
·         storyboards
·         out-takes
·         surviving Broaden Your Mind footage
·         laughter-free track on The Goodies and the Beanstalk
·         a digital restoration featurette
·         booklet by Andrew Pixley
 
UK RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - At Last! (Network 7952171. UK 2003): contains all bonus features except the booklet, which was not produced until 2010.
 
The Goodies - Volume 1 and 2 Box Set (Network 7952250. UK 2005): contains The Goodies - At Last! and The Goodies - At Last a Second Helping packaged together in a cardboard slipcase. As a result, it has all the bonus features for the first collection except the booklet, which was not produced until 2010.
 
The Goodies...At Last! [Repackaged] (Network 7953466. UK 2010): contains the booklet written by Andrew Pixley but none of the other bonus features.
 
The Goodies...At Last the 40th Anniversary Box Set (Network 7953467 - UK 2010): a slipcase housing the four DVD sets The Goodies...At Last! [Repackaged], The Goodies - At Last A Second Helping [Repackaged], The Goodies - The Complete LWT Series, and The Goodies...At Last - Back For More, Again. Each of the four individual titles contains a booklet written by Andrew Pixley. This release does not contain any of the other bonus features from BBC Collection 1.
 
CAUTION!! - All the bonus features for BBC Collection 1 (except for the booklet) are only available on out-of-print titles in the UK.
 
 
AUSTRALIAN RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes (ABC Video–B00693-9. Australia 2003): contains all bonus features except the booklet, which was not produced until 2010.
 
The Goodies - The Tasty Box (Box Set) (ABC Video–B01031-9. Australia 2005): contains all bonus features except the booklet, which was not produced until 2010.
 
The Goodies - 4 Delicious Episodes (ABC Video. Australia 2006): Contains the first disk from The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes. This includes four episodes (Tower of London, Gender Education, Kitten Kong, & The Goodies and the Beanstalk). Bonus features include commentaries on two episodes (Kitten Kong & Beanstalk), storyboards, a laughter-free track on The Goodies and the Beanstalk, and a digital restoration featurette. Does not have any of the other bonus features (as they were on the second disk from The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes).
 
The Goodies Collection (ABC Video – R-B02158-9. Australia 2011): A reissue of the material from the Tasty Box set and The Goodies...At Last...Back for More, Again! DVDs plus an 80 page booklet containing programme notes on all 24 episodes (this replaces the individual booklets from the prior sets). Contains all bonus features for BBC Collection 1.
 
 
BBC COLLECTION 2:
 
Contains the episodes: Radio Goodies, Come Dancing, The Movies, South Africa, Bunfight at the OK Tearooms, The End, Scoutrageous, and Punky Business.
 
Bonus Features:
·         colour version of Come Dancing
·         commentaries on three episodes (The Movies, South Africa, & The End)
·         - the Gymnasium sketch from A Collection of Goodies
·         Crackerjack clip (of The Goodies singing "A Man's Best Friend is His Duck")
·         Goodies Christmas Night with the Stars 1972 clip (aka The Goodies Traveling Instant Five-Minute Christmas)
·         booklet written by Andrew Pixley
·         restoration featurette
·         The Goodies in Conversation featurette
·         original script PDFs
 
 
UK RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - At Last A Second Helping (Network 7952172. UK 2005): contains all the bonus features.
 
The Goodies - Volume 1 and 2 Box Set (Network 7952250. UK 2005): contains The Goodies - At Last! and The Goodies - At Last a Second Helping packaged together in a cardboard slipcase. As a result, it has all the bonus features from BBC Collection 2.
 
The Goodies...At Last A Second Helping [Repackaged] (Network 7953466. UK 2010): contains the booklet written by Andrew Pixley but none of the other bonus features.
 
The Goodies...At Last the 40th Anniversary Box Set (Network 7953467 - UK 2010): a slipcase housing four DVD sets, including The Goodies - At Last A Second Helping [Repackaged]. Each of the four individual titles contains a booklet written by Andrew Pixley. Does not contain any of the other bonus features from BBC Collection 2.
 
CAUTION!! - All the bonus features (except for the booklet) for BBC Collection 2 are only available on out-of-print titles in the UK.
 
 
AUSTRALIAN RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - A Tasty Second Helping (ABC Video – B00839-9. Australia 2005): contains the commentaries, the Gymnasium sketch, the Crackerjack clip, and the Goodies Christmas Night with the Stars 1972 clip. DOES NOT CONTAIN the colour version of Come Dancing, the restoration featurette, The Goodies in Conversation featurette, the booklet or the original script PDFs.
 
The Goodies - The Tasty Box (Box Set) (ABC Video–B01031-9. Australia 2005): contains all bonus features from BBC Collection 2.
 
The Goodies - A Second Helping: 4 Tasty Serves (ABC Video R-B01225-9. Australia 2006): Contains the first disk from The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes. This includes four episodes (Radio Goodies, Come Dancing, The Movies, and South Africa). Bonus features include commentaries on two episodes (The Movies and South Africa) and the Goodies Christmas Night with the Stars 1972 clip (aka The Goodies Traveling Instant Five-Minute Christmas). Does not have any of the other bonus features (which were on the second disk of The Goodies - 8 Delicious Episodes).
 
The Goodies Collection (ABC Video – R-B02158-9. Australia 2011): A reissue of the material from the Tasty Box set and The Goodies...At Last...Back for More, Again! DVDs plus an 80 page booklet containing programme notes on all 24 episodes. Contains all bonus features for BBC Collection 2, although the material from the original booklet is included in the set's 80 page booklet (which replaces the individual booklets from the prior sets).
 
LWT SERIES COLLECTION:
 
Contains the episodes: Snow White 2, Robot, Football Crazy, Bigfoot, Change of Life, Holidays, and Animals.
 
Bonus features:
  • commentaries on two episodes (Change of Life and Holidays)
  • various 1975 Goodies musical performances from Shangalang (Funky Gibbon and Black Pudding Bertha) and Look Alive (Nappy Love, Wild Thing, and Make a Daft Noise for Christmas)
  • archive interviews from Sunday Sunday (1983) and This Morning (1993 and 1994), plus a 1978 interview with Tim & Graeme at the Cambridge Arts Theatre
  • a complete episode of Doctor in the House. The episode is Doctor on the Box, written by Graeme Garden & Bill Oddie and including a cameo appearance from Graeme
  • a complete episode of From the Top (entitled Growing Up...and Out), written by Bill Oddie & Laura Beaumont and starring Bill
  • a 1981 clip of Tim judging a turkey competition
  • original script PDFs
  • a stills gallery
  • a booklet written by Andrew Pixley
 
 
UK RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - The Complete LWT Series (Network 7952662. UK 2007). Note that this release is both Region 2 and 4. It contains all bonus features.
 
The Goodies...At Last the 40th Anniversary Box Set (Network 7953467 - UK 2010): a slipcase housing four DVD sets, including The Goodies - The Complete LWT Series. Each of the four individual titles contains a booklet written by Andrew Pixley. Contains all the bonus materials from the LWT Series Collection.
 
 
AUSTRALIAN RELEASES:
 
The Goodies - The Final Episodes (Network 7952662AU. Australia 2008): Contains the commentaries, various 1975 Goodies musical performances, the archive interviews, a complete episode of From the Top, a 1981 clip of Tim judging a turkey competition, original script PDFs, and a stills gallery. DOES NOT CONTAIN the complete episode of Doctor in the House and the booklet written by Andrew Pixley
 
CAUTION!! - I was told that The Goodies Collection includes all the content to which Roadshow has rights in their territory – this set does NOT include the LWT episodes. This may mean that "The Goodies - The Final Episodes" has gone out of print in Australia. However, please note that the UK version ("The Goodies - The Complete LWT Series") is formatted for play in Region 4.
 
 
BBC COLLECTION 3:
 
Contains the episodes: Cecily, The Music Lovers, The New Office, Goodies Rule - OK?, Camelot, It Might As Well Be String, 2001 And A Bit, and Royal Command.
 
Bonus Features:
·         a booklet written by Andrew Pixley
 
UK RELEASES:
 
The Goodies...At Last - Back For More, Again (Network 7953367. UK 2010): contains the booklet
 
The Goodies...At Last the 40th Anniversary Box Set (Network 7953467 - UK 2010): a slipcase housing four DVD sets including The Goodies...At Last - Back For More, Again. Each of the four individual titles (including BBC Collection 3) contains a booklet written by Andrew Pixley.
 
 
AUSTRALIAN RELEASES:
 
The Goodies...At Last...Back For More, Again! (ABC Video – R-802022-9. Australia 2010): contains the booklet.
 
The Goodies Collection (ABC Video – R-B02158-9. Australia 2011): A reissue of the material from the Tasty Box set and The Goodies...At Last...Back for More, Again! DVDs plus an 80 page booklet containing programme notes on all 24 episodes. Contains all bonus features for BBC Collection 3, although the material from the original booklet is included in the set's 80 page booklet (which replaces the individual booklets from the prior sets).
 
 
THE AMERICAN DVD
 
To be complete, I will mention at 2004 American DVD release simply titled "The Goodies" (Wham! USA – Wham! 57945) – this appears to be a straight copy of the 1994 BBC "Kitten Kong" VHS containing the episodes Kitten Kong, Scatty Safari, and Scoutrageous (with the same edits in Scatty Safari as the BBC tape). For the DVD release, the makers included incomplete Goodies bios and filmographies taken from the Internet Movie Database: http://www.imdb.com
 
Additional information about all the DVD releases (including images of their covers) can be found on my Goodies collectibles website at
. 
.
6. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #20
(by Brett Allender)
 
SPORTS & GAMES
 
An interesting recurring theme throughout "The Goodies" is their participation in many different sporting activities, which provides them with good opportunities to shed their usual office garb, show off their reasonably impressive fitness and skills and to send up a number of different sports with speeded-up or cartoon-like action sequences. Initially the Goodies are asked by some of their guest stars to take on certain sporting events, most notably the Commonwealth Games and Winter Olympics; however by the time it comes around to dealing with events like the Summer Olympics and Le Mans motor racing, the Goodies are very much setting the agenda themselves.
 
The very first Goodies episode, "Beefeaters", features an impressively manic polo sequence where the masked rider knocks the Goodies over like a bunch of skittles before pelting them with a volley of fruit and hammering Graeme's staff completely into ground, though still having the courtesy to gently tap a lady's clothesline pole into the ground in the midst of all of the mayhem. Horse-based sports are a recurring Goodies theme in their own right, with horseracing, equestrian riding and hunting all featuring as prominent storylines in various episodes.
 
In "Hunting Pink", Tim ventures to the country estate of Tally Ho Towers to visit his Great-Uncle Butcher and soon finds out that his elderly relative is very keen on his horseriding and hunting. Egged on by Bill and Graeme’s raucous tall tales about their own hunting exploits (UB: "I once fell off my horse and broke a leg." B: " Well, I fell off my leg and broke a horse!"), Butcher has all sorts of trouble mounting his horse, even with the Goodies' help. He ends up at the wheel of a rampaging army tank and successfully blasts a rabbit from long range before snuffing it from the sheer thrill of the chase, leaving Tim to carry on the family horseriding and hunting tradition. Tim promises that the next hunt will be "bigger and better and rottener and crueller – I'm sure it's what my Great Uncle Butcher would have wanted"; leaving an appalled Bill and Graeme to sabotage his planned hunt. This is done by various means including Bill and Graeme firstly disguising themselves as Tim's horse and then as rabbits to distract the hunters, before pouring glue in front of the steeplechase to dismount the riders and then selling the horses off to an Indian; leaving an irate Tim to sail over a jump aboard the trusty trandem instead.
 
Horseracing again comes to the fore in "Black & White Beauty" where cruel horse trainer Bill enters Beauty in the Grand National and places nearly all of the Goodies money on it to win, not realising that it is merely a pantomime horse with Tim and Graeme cowering inside it. Black & White Beauty is given the rank outsider odds of 10,000-1 by the laughing bookmakers, but with Bill nobbling the other real horses in the race with funny cigars and buckets of tequila, Beauty has to compete with a field of other pantomime horses for the prize. The race contains plenty of amusing visual effects with Bill using a ladder and a brushcutter on the steeplechase fences to clear the way and Graeme's half-horse just about drowning in the water jump before Beauty loses the race in a photo after stopping and posing for a series of staged portraits just before the line.
 
"Royal Command" also features a steeplechasing race prior to the coronation ceremony at Westminster Abbey, with the Goodies having to hurdle a series of dummy politicians with the Royal family in hot pursuit trying to wrest back control of the monarchy. The Royal takeover of the BBC earlier in the episode also features "Stars on Sunday" from the Hickstead equestrian centre with Moira Anderson singing 'Bless This Horse' complete with a frustrated "Damn!" when the horse fails to clear a jump. Likewise the raucous bloodlusting hunting-type characters from "Hunting Pink" crop up again in "Dodonuts", except that this time around it's Tim and Graeme doing all of the bellowing and shooting at anything that moves (B (horrified after the others have potted a bird that he had been observing): "That … that was a sparrow!" T (surprised): "I'm sorry, we thought it was a robin!" … G (slightly apologetically, after Bill starts blubbering): "It's a dead sparrow!") while Bill is desperately trying to shield various endangered species from their clutches; particularly his last living dodo. There are some very amusing, if somewhat cruel, hunting scenes in the early part of the show where Graeme blasts his cuckoo clock with a shotgun, Tim pots the rooster ornament atop the wind vane and a posse of hunters surround a bird feeder and each poke their guns into a different entry hole before blowing it to bits in unison, plus the end sequences where Tim and Graeme try to shoot down the elusive flying dodo in all sorts of devious ways.
 
Cricket also receives the Goodies treatment on a few occasions; the first being in "Commonwealth Games" when Tim is engrossed with watching the Test coverage on TV (and getting excited because a cover point fielder actually moves for the first time since 1937!) and then delivers one of his early patriotic speeches, claiming that the English were a "proud indomitable island race surrounded by a load of non cricket-playing frogs, wops, krauts and greasy dagos." and that "Generations of Englishmen sallied forth to the uttermost ends of the earth to seek out ignorant savages to teach them ... how to play cricket so that we could send out to them our ambassadors for goodwill, crack test teams of first-class players, and beat the living daylights out of them!" When Bill retorts: "Aha so that's all we care about is it? Winning!", Tim matter-of-factly states: "Bill, you do not play cricket to win. You play it to draw!"
 
In "Lips or Almighty Cod", the Goodies form an MCC touring party to the North Pole so that they can sneak into Eskimoland and steal back one of the British cod that they so foolishly flung at the Eskimos earlier. They barter cricket gear to buy a portable hole in the ice and catch a precious cod, before returning the hole to the Eskimo, with him amusingly attempting to ski away with cricket bats strapped to his feet and stumps in his hands as shortened ski poles. The Goodies are then sprung with the cod in their luggage by customs staff at departure, but stage an impromptu cricket match by bowling up snowballs and using their cod as a cricket bat, which distracts the Eskimos long enough for them to sneak through with the cod and head home to a huge ovation from the cod-starved British public.
 
Cricket also forms the major plotline in the second half of "2001 And A Bit" where the sons of the Goodies are looking to "give the crowds something really mind-bogglingly, rivetingly, excruciatingly dull and pointless" and achieve this by reviving cricket, which had fallen by the wayside many years ago. Firstly though, they have to rediscover the ancient near-extinct tribe that hides from man - the MCC. Young Tim Garden travels to the overgrown temple of Lords (which was long thought to be a place of sun worship with green strips of rice paddies inside it!) to find the right equipment for cricket, only to tip the Ashes out of their urn and end up wearing all of the cricket equipment in some rather unusual places. Meanwhile Tim and his son Bill don their power walking boots and enter the Slimbridge MCC Sanctuary (using a 5 pound note with Margaret Thatcher's face on it!) to observe the old cricketers in their last remaining native habitat. They sneak into the cricket pavilion and Tim spots an ancient Graeme and Bill, who have forgotten who he is and pelt him with fruit after mistaking him for Nicholas Parsons!
 
Fired up by a rousing cricketing poem from Bill Brooke-Taylor, the ancient cricketers march out onto the oval but they only manage to completely bore the crowd and a robot commentator when they hardly even utter a breath during two whole days of play. However Graeme Oddie and fellow his rollerblading lads issue a challenge, which leads to some humourous cricket sequences and despite their padding and the use of a 'Trojan batsman' to stand inside, they are dismissed for a grand total of zero. The lads of the MCC soon get runs on the board with the help of power-walking boots and some even dirtier tactics that escalate when Bill Oddie delivers exploding cricket balls from a tank. This prompts loud shouts of "How is 'e?!", followed by a "Where is 'e?!" as a huge cloud of smoke envelops the ground. In turn, Graeme Oddie pelts the MCC with cricket balls before he takes a wild ride through the streets on the sightscreen and ultimately slogs at a rising atom bomb which detonates massively and ensures that the MCC team retains the Ashes in the process.
 
The episodes "War Babies" and "Football Crazy" each have the Goodies involved with playing soccer in rather unusual circumstances. In "War Babies" the conflict is still deadlocked at Christmas time, so a soccer ball bounces out of the trenches for the deciding showdown between England and Germany. After a scoreless 90 minutes due to the war-wounded players on both sides barely being able to move, extra time is required and Tim (doubling as Winston Churchill) substitutes for the entire English team. The Germans in turn substitute their team for a tank and when the match is still deadlocked after extra time, the war must be decided by a penalty shootout. Tim brilliantly saves the shots on goal from the German tank, and then gently dribbles a kick which slowly rolls underneath the tank and pauses right on the line, with the goal being given after much deliberation and victory in the war to England in the process
 
As its name suggests, "Football Crazy" centres around the world game and starts off with a memorable display of hooliganism from cranky spectator Bill, who is so incensed at a player supposedly taking a dive and faking injury that he not only roars abuse from the terraces ("Get up, ya great nancy! Up! You great big soppy girl!"), but he also turns up in the hospital operating theatre and gives the bloke another earful while emergency surgery is being performed. Having distracted the doctors and causing the patient to flatline, he then also bobs up at the cemetery after the funeral service to jump on the poor fellow's grave, still demanding that he get up and stop faking his injury! Tim is sufficiently appalled by this violence to take on a new role as the Chief Of Police in charge of football hooliganism, whose duty is to rid the terraces of mindless yobbos ... like Bill, who flips out even more once Tim implements strict bans on players having long hair, affectionately celebrating goals and using even the mildest of bad language, making soccer even more boring to watch than before. The lack of action eventually encourages all of the hooligans to watch the ballet instead, as the Goodies discover when they form part of the Cricklewood team in the new Ballet League.
 
The "A Collection of Goodies" special also has a brief sendup of soccer where Bill is trying to flee from the others with a large but ever-shrinking plum pudding thanks to the different sports that it is being used for along the way. In addition to soccer, the pudding also gets used for basketball, rugby and bowling, then cricket, tennis and hockey before it finally reaches a small enough size for Bill to swallow it. Prior to this segment however, there is a wonderful sequence where the Goodies are exercising in a gymnasium, which includes memorable images such as Graeme dropping a large medicine ball through Tim's stomach as he lays on a bench, Graeme rebounding back and forth through the gym wall while tangled up in a muscle spring, Tim pulling on a climbing rope and bringing a huge bell clattering down on top of him and Tim having a wild ride on a bucking bronco vaulting horse among several other highlights.
 
"The Race" opens with the Goodies pedalling madly on the trandem in a bid to get out of the way of a bunch of rapidly-approaching riders behind them, only to find that they have actually won the Tour de France after taking a wrong turn on the way to Skegness for a holiday. Buoyed by this unexpected and rather easy sporting success, Graeme boldly enters "The Goodies … Le Bon Bon!" (B: (indignantly): "That's the Sweeties!") in the "Lemons Vings Quaters Hurs Race" … the Le Mans 24 hour motor endurance race, despite the Goodies having neither a car or a drivers licence between them. Graeme soon trains Tim in the art of driving with the help of a makeshift car which uses an upended Bill's feet as pedals (G (taps Bill's right foot): "Accelerator and that's (touches left foot) the brake." T (eagerly, ready to plant his foot): "So that means that the clutch must be …!" B (horrified): "Don't you dare!") and he also builds a car from bits and pieces around the office that does a serviceable job on the racetrack until the sinister local driver Baron O'Beef nobbles it. Graeme's backup plan of converting the entire office into a racing car proves far more resilient to the Baron's dastardly tricks, eventually forcing the Baron out of the race altogether, but the Goodies also run off the track, prompting Graeme to taunt Tim with the barb of "You can't even steer a disused railway station!" as they head for the cliff.
 
The sport of rugby is highlighted in the second half of "Wacky Wales" once the Goodies save themselves from execution by the fun-loathing Druids by knowing the words of their sacred hymn (about playing touch with the goalman's daughter!) and end up refereeing an ecclesiastical seven-a-side rugby tournament, which the Druids win easily. Their humble reverent victory ceremony (involving tipping beer all over each other and singing a song of "four and twenty virgins", to which Bill's objections to the song not being holy are met with the Reverend's outraged shriek of "Not holy! It's about flippin' virgins, isn't it? You can't get much holier than that!") is soon interrupted by Tim disqualifying them for cheating by including half of the Welsh international team in their lineup, to which they take out their ire by using the Goodies as balls to kick and throw around the field instead, with some nifty visual gags as part of the sequence.
 
During the course of the show, the Goodies have episodes featuring the three major world athletics meetings: the Olympics, the Commonwealth Games and the Winter Olympics. The Commonwealth Games is the first one to be sent up early in the second series which involves the Goodies being summoned to the office of the Minister of Sport, which is located inside the clockface of Big Ben, setting off a virtual earthquake when the hourly chimes ring. The Minister wants the Goodies to train the British athletics team to peak fitness for the upcoming Commonwealth Games against the August Bank Holiday Islands (located "between Easter Island and Christmas Island!"), who are the only other nation left in the Commonwealth as all of the others have left after a disagreement with Britain. The winner gets control of the Commonwealth but as the mission is considered too politically important to entrust to athletes and the British politicians all fail the sex test, the Goodies are required to compete for Britain against the August Bank Holiday Islands team, which consists of one athlete and his 7 year-old son.
 
With the Goodies being hampered in their movement by having to wear specially-made boots to combat the extremely high altitude of the stadium, they are summarily thrashed in every athletics event by the islanders, except for the boxing where the heavy boots at least prevent Bill from being knocked down for the count. There is quicksand in the long jump pit and a crocodile in the steeplechase pit for the Goodies to deal with, along with the hostile reception from the native crowd (Minister: "Yes, excitable chappies, aren't they? I suppose they gave you the traditional August Bank Holiday Island welcome." Graeme (stunned): "They fired rifles at us!" Minister: "Yes, that's it!") and the Goodies find that although the August Bank Holiday Islands now rule the Commonwealth, all of the other former member countries have now rejoined under the new leadership … except for Britain which has been expelled because it's no good at sport!
 
"Winter Olympics" in Series 3 firstly has the reluctant Goodies practicing to take part in the winter games at a top-secret training camp in the coldest place in Britain ("Bognor on the Bank Holiday!") and though they have little hope of being competitive (especially judging by the portrait of the British 3 man bobsleigh champions on the wall of the hut - three coffins draped with Union Jacks!), they at least get some training in on an orange box bobsleigh powered by roller skates before heading to the North Pole Hilton (and its revolting menu of whale blubber dishes) for the big event.
 
After a disastrous training session where the Goodies can't even stand up on the ice, let alone play competitive sport on it, Graeme hits on the bright idea of melting the polar icecap to enable them to compete on a firm footing. The Goodies dominate and win a stack of medals in the figure skating, ice (water) dancing and ski jump, but Graeme flips when he realises that they have left their sun ray lamp still dangling from the butterfly upon their triumphant return to Britain and we see the effects of global warming well ahead of its time.
 
It takes the Goodies until their last BBC series to finally get around to dealing with the summer Olympics (though there is a nice sequence towards the end of "Rome Antics" which explains the creation of the ancient Roman games and traditions such as the Olympic rings, torch and hoops), but "A Kick In The Arts" certainly fills in the missing link in style. The episode opens with a plug for a series of fundraising sporting events for the British Olympic Fund (including a great golfing sequence where Tim plays amazingly well with some spirited (and painful!) assistance from Graeme and Bill) but by the time that essential expenses (such as 500 pounds for Nicholas Parsons "not to turn up!") are deducted, Tim only has the princely sum of 3 pence left to donate to the Olympic cause. The ancient Olympians at the committee office can't even decide whether to allow Tim to enter and their vote on it is tied at 3 for and 3 against until one objector promptly croaks it ("that's better, two against!") and Tim's offer of money draws a rousing patriotic speech from one of the old geezers, who urges his fellow athletes to "gird up their loins, ... hitch up their hamstrings, ... and get out there on that track and ... LOSE!".
 
The British athletes are broke, starving and rummaging in bins along the street for food, and Tim is forced to join them when he is expertly fleeced of all his money and clothing at Graybungles Casino; Graeme's new business venture. Tim eventually becomes the Masked Shotputter and even robs the Queen of her tiara in his desperation to survive on the streets, only to be captured by casino security guard Bill and carted off to jail along with the rest of his athletic criminal cohorts. Meanwhile Graeme has undergone an identity change of his own; morphing into "Kerry Thwacker … sports-mad international. No, no, Mr Garden would do a much sillier voice than this!" (demonstrates) "Whack the diddle-o blue! Pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off ya billabongs!" Graeme sets about creating his own Olympic team by importing athletes from various countries while having very little regard for their welfare (as Bill reports that the six Kenyan long distance runners are a bit squashed and that some of the Russian child gymnasts are dead on arrival much to Graeme's complete indifference!) and even offers to host the Olympics once the Russians have baulked at the enormous cost of staging them.
 
Tim is extremely annoyed with Graeme's seemingly callous disregard for the British Olympic cause and breaks out of jail before sneaking into Graeme's office and making numerous changes to the events programme. It is Tim's birthday just prior to the opening ceremony and Graeme happily reveals all of his gambling and accumulation of imported athletes has been so that Tim would have a world-beating, top ranking British Olympic team as a birthday present. Therefore Graeme is horrified when he reads Tim's adjusted programme of events, and his athletes go berserk and have to be sedated with a tranquillizer gun. Tim has already assembled a new British team consisting of ancient writers, composers and performers who will excel in the revised events such as the 200kg lift and sonnet, the snatch press and limerick and the 100 metre freestyle opera swim, leaving Bill and Graeme little choice but to form the Rest of the World team themselves. Two weeks of spirited and very amusing sporting events culminate in a mighty British victory in the Dead Sea Scrolls Relay, though Tim doesn't get much time to savour the win before the Queen identifies him as the Masked Shotputter and he has to make a hasty getaway.
 
The Goodies' take on sports of all sorts is always very imaginative, rather quirky and adds a lot of enjoyment to whichever episodes it happens to appear in.
 
Website article & photo gallery:
 
 
7. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #45
 
SHOW ME THE WAY
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
 
WHO?
 
Our intrepid music reviewers Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto have been conspicuous by their absence for quite a while now; however all good things must come to an end … including your nice long respite from having to groan so much at their bad puns and mouldy old jokes. 
The Emperor has actually been out on work experience plaice-ment at Dr Garden's Fish Farm, though he was only there for the halibut as Graybags was too much of a cheap-skate to pay him any-fin. He not only found it ruddy murder trying to stamp the little lions on the fish eggs, but also got in trouble for throwing the very last cod in Britain (the bass one that Graeme ever had-dock too!) at the fleeing Eskimos, even though he didn't do it on porpoise. His punishment was getting kicked in the ice-hole (ouch!) and then having to paddle around the lake with Brian the cut-up camp cod in hot pursuit until the Max Bygraves album in Brian's stomach finally stopped whaling away and reached the end of the first side, which explains why you haven't heard from him for many, many months now.
While he was floundering away at the fish farm, Peaches has also been busy rediscovering the Lost Island of Munga, attending Highbrow Hall School for brainy brats, exploring the jungle of the Orinoco in search of Professor Nuts, singing "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" in the giant's lair, flogging off Razz washing powder in the 2-for-1 swap deal, saddling up for the fox hunt at Tally Ho Towers, uncovering more Nanny skeletons at Cecily's house and issuing patriotic proclamations to the tune of "Land Of Hope And Glory". Footage from her adventures is soon to be screened in a two-part doco titled "The Peaches Beaches Teachers Leeches Creatures Bleaches Breeches Screeches Speeches Features!"
So now that the old Groan-o-meter is shooting up the scale nicely once again, let's max it out even further by crossing over to our disoriented DJs for their review of "Show Me The Way" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
"Show Me The Way" can be heard on the 1970's LP "The Goodies Sing Songs From The Goodies" and in Episode 1/2 "Snooze"
 
WHAT?
 
Lyrics: sung by Bill
 
I don’t know where I'm going, I've got my eyes closed
I don't know what I'm doing, I can't see
I don't know where I'm going but it's far away
Please ... help ... me
 
[chorus]
Show me the way, show me the way
Somebody show me the way
I'm lonely and I'm lost and I long to go home
Somebody show me the way
 
I've got to keep on walking 'til I get there
And I don't know how long the road will be
I try to help my fellow man as I go by
Please ... help ... me
 
[repeat chorus]
 
[Instrumental break]
 
[Repeat first verse]
 
[repeat chorus]
 
(Show me, show me, show me, show me the way) Show me the way
(Show me, show me, show me, show me the way) Show me the way
[Repeats, then fades]
 
WHY?
 
(Peaches Stiletto):
Don’t even consider taking a snooze (even if you’ve swallowed a draught of Snooze) during this music review, Goodies fans! While most would agree that their memories of Bill Oddie’s musical contributions to the Goodies episodes immediately recall light-hearted, bouncy tunes filled with deliciously groan-filled puns and body-controlling melodies guaranteed to make you “Bounce for Britain” or “Shake Yer Bum,” a subtle, sullen and melodic little bit of blues like this tune really shouldn’t be so easily dismissed. While one might associate this number best with the sleepwalking episode of the series (and indeed the laid-back tone and tempo of the song rather fits somnambulism better than, say, Spacehopper might) it’s a nifty little bit of spiritual redemption-seeking in its own right. Indeed, one can interpret the lyrics any number of ways to fit one’s own perception of what “way” has been lost and where exactly the singer is wishing to go. If you have the chance to listen to the song on its own (without the sound of double-decker busses and herds of cows in the background) you may be surprised to find its haunting melody and heartfelt lyrics tugging at your soul, trying its best to, in fact, show you the way . . . to gaining an even deeper respect for the music of Mr. Bill Oddie (although these days he would probably admit that birdwatching with your eyes closed and without knowing where you’re going would be rather difficult.)
 
(Emperor Caligula):
It says a lot about the flexibility and the varying styles of humour in The Goodies that "Show Me The Way" was able to be used so effectively as a backing track in the show. A rare straight song by Bill, it is sung with real feeling and the high-pitched choral backing gives it a very "sleepy, soporific late night" lullaby-type feel, just like the bedtime drink that the Goodies name "Snooze" after toying with alternatives such as "Epilogue" and "Rolf Harris"! While it would have been totally out of place backing one of the Goodies more manic chase scenes, it forms the perfect soothing straight backdrop for Bill's hilarious epic sleepwalk onto a painting scaffold, on the roof of a double decker bus, across the bed of a river and through an exploding minefield among other places while still snoring peacefully away.
Any trust in Bill to "show you the way" when lonely and lost would probably be misplaced however, as he is more likely to take you on a journey forth to t'Mystic East (and a Mao-like Black Pudding Rebellion) or he and Tim might suddenly display long pointed ears, prominent teeth and a cotton tail, and take you to their mighty leader Big Bunny (who will strap you to the couch and stick carrots in your ears if he's feeling kinky enough!) Speaking of kinky, you can always count on the theory that all roads lead to Rome if you're lost somewhere, but just remember to take some fruit with you to satisfy the Roman Emperor (Pears with "soft sensuous bulbous botties and squishy juice" are a sure-fire winner!). If you're "all at sea", keep an eye out for Stavros Monopolopolopolous the oil tycoon, but make sure you can hit that last note to prove that you're a real sailor, while if your potential guide tells you "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" then the road ahead is bound to be a lot of fun and you don't even have to be able to hit any musical notes at all to be the next Jeremy Hardy!
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
IIII – Officially Amazing (Peaches Stiletto)
III – Goody Goody Yum Yum (Emperor Caligula)
 
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
 
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially Amazing.
III   - Goody Goody Yum Yum.
II    - Fair-y Punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' Pikelets.
 

 
 
8. GOODIES WORD PUZZLE
(by Brett Allender)
 
This puzzle consists of a series of Goodies clues to solve, with the highlighted letter from each horizontal answer forming a vertical solution. The letters of the solution then need to be unscrambled and the 3 words rearranged to form the end solution (5, 4 & 6 letters) , which is a song from a Goodies episode in Series 3.
 
The information to solve the clues can be found in my Goodies Episode Summaries in the Articles/Guides section of the website if there are episodes listed that you are unfamiliar with. One letter has also been provided for each clue to assist with the solving of the puzzle.
 
The solution will be published in the next edition of the C&G. Alternatively there is a copy of the puzzle (in Word format) and solution on the website at: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=98&page=8 
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CLUES:
 
1.   (5, 7 letters)                     Tim goes to visit him at Tally Ho Towers (Hunting Pink)
2.   (6, 5 letters)                     Tim's ancestor, the sheep stealer (Alternative Roots)
3.   (6, 5, 3 letters)                This product gets rid of Rolf Harrises fast (The Stone Age)
4.   (9 letters)                         The surname of Mrs Desiree, the TV morals campaigner (Gender Education)
5.   (6, 5 letters)                     A boy scout does not indulge in these, according to Tim (Scoutrageous)
6.   (4, 7 letters)                     Tim's character in the Goodies' first movie (The Movies)
7.   (8, 5 letters)                     The political party that the Goodies represent (Goodies Rule OK)
8.   (6, 4, 7 letters)                The Goodies compete against a team from this island (Commonwealth Games)
9.   (8 letters)                         People playing this instrument get grabbed by the UFOs (U-Friend or UFO)
10. (6, 6, 9 letters)                "She" enters the mixed dancing contest with Tim Revolta (Punky Business)
11. (7, 7 letters)                    The town planner makes a joke about this item in the dungeon (Camelot)
12. (6, 2, 2, 7 letters)            The song sung by the "Midnight Cowperson" (Goodies Almost Live)
13. (5, 4, 3 letters)                Tim's mock ad character from this episode (Beefeaters)
14. (5, 2, 6 letters)                The film that the Goodies review in which "nothing happens" (The Movies)
15. (11 letters)                      The Crufts dog show entry created from Graeme's chopping list" (?)
 
 
9. GOODIES WORDFINDER SOLUTION
 
From C&G 189:
 
Solution of two words (5 & 7 letters) - clue: "You can do this on Goodies Hols"
 
Brain surgery
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10. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Tim
(b) Bill
(c) Earthanasia
(d) A snail
(e) A plate
(f) Turning right, turning left and "turning nasty"
(g) Spain
(h) On the desk of the race commentator
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Mastermind Of The Year
7    Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Goody Goody effort
1-2 Time to watch some more episodes!
0    Are you sure you're not Rolf Harris?!
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #191: 12th February 2012.
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
Updated to the end of C&G 185 (April 2011)
 
********************************************
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2011. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail clarion@goodiesruleok.com
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
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