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C&G 167 Oct 2009
Oct 2009 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 12/10/2009

Index

» Oct 2009

       **********************************************
       *   THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE   *
       **********************************************
 
 
    * THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
             (http://www.goodiesruleok.com )
 
 
Issue No. 167                   12th October 2009
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
******************************
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
MUSIC REVIEWER
- Linda Kay
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- Amanda Stokes, Brian Labza, Alison Bean, Sosia, Jenny_Gibbon, Raymond, Ben Tumney
 
CONTENTS
********
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #41 – I Wish I Could Get High
6. GOODIES WORD FINDER
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
***************
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "And if it rained on the way home, you just popped up your woman …!"
 
(a) Which Goody says this quote?
(b) Why has he forgotten the difference between women and umbrellas?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode "Hospital For Hire"
 
(d) According to the Minister For Health, the health department is so slow because they keep getting pestered by whom?
(e) What disposable item does the Minister Of Health use to blow his nose with?
(f) Graeme's magic elixir supposedly cures "pneumonia and …"?
(g) Who is the "poor sufferin' boy" cured by this elixir at the medicine show?
(h) What does the elixir bring back to life at the museum?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
**************
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
THE GOODIES PUZZLE BOOK
 
A compilation of the various puzzles and quizzes which have been part of the Goodies Clarion & Globe for the past few years is now available.
 
"The Goodies Puzzle Book" contains 90 pages of Goodies-related fun featuring:
- 10 Quizzes of 50 questions each from almost the entire range of episodes
- 11 Crossword Puzzles
- 14 Word Finders
- 4 Word Puzzles
- Solutions for all quizzes and puzzles in a separate section
 
A free copy of "The Goodies Puzzle Book" as an attached file in pdf format (229kb) can be obtained upon request from Brett Allender at <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
 
WEBSITE POLLS
 
Last month's poll on favourite Goodies animals would have been a close contest with 5 options polling within a handful of votes of each other ... if it wasn't for the runaway juggernaut of Kitten Kong. Rather like the overgrown kitten's ability to demolish the post office tower, its poll equivalent performed a pretty fair demolition job on all of its opponents; including a suitably squashed Rolf (the best kind ... yay!)
 
Which is your favourite animal "guest star" from The Goodies?
- The bagpipe spider                      12 votes
- Twinkle, the giant kitten               52 votes
- the mule (Bunfight at the OK Tearooms) 10 votes
- Truffaut the Wonder Dog                  4 votes
- Frankenfido                              3 votes
- Dougal                                  12 votes
- Black & White Beauty                    13 votes
- The Dodo                                 9 votes
- other                                    1 vote
- I prefer Little Rolf                    16 votes
Total                                    132 votes
 
Our new poll has only got the 3 options by comparison, but it's an intriguing question nevertheless. Would you rather get from Point A to Point B by wobbly, hard-to-control trandem or by bulky, brakeless disused railway station on wheels? Or would you prefer to take a Rolf instead? (Please take him ... please!) Just be sure to take a stubborn mule ride to the club website to vote for your preferred option before Greedy Graeme files the claim solely in his name. You know it makes sense!
 
Which mode of Goodies transport would you prefer - the trandem or their mobile office?
- the trandem
- the mobile office
- I'd rather have a Rolf-drawn cart
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
*************
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
 
TOP OF THE POPS 2
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Sep)
 
* Sun, 11 Oct - "TOTP 2" on Dave at 07:00 is a repeat of a Comic Relief edition including clips from The Goodies and Monty Python.
 
 
GOODIES RESCREENINGS
(Lisa Manekofsky – 29th Sep)
 
* Thursdays & Sundays - SKY NZ's New Comedy Central channel is repeating "The Goodies". (Thanks for raymond for this info!)
 
* various dates & times - The Comedy Channel in Australia currently is repeating episodes of "The Goodies". Consult their website (at http://www.comedychannel.com.au/WhatsOn/Detail.aspx?id=211 ) for details about episodes coming up in the next 7 days. 
 
 
GOODIES INTERVIEWS FOR WORLD'S FUNNIEST ISLAND
(Ben Tumney – 5th Oct)
 
Spotted an upcoming interview with Tim and an online one with Graeme regarding the Sydney shows.
 
Tim is to appear on ABC Sydney radio on October 16th: http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2009/06/17/2601096.htm
 
Graeme's interview is with Time Out Sydney:
Here is the text from Graeme's interview:
 
Graeme Garden has done many, many things in his five-decades-and-counting career: directed, written hundreds of television shows, created (and starred in) long running radio programmes and performed on stages all over the world. But for most people he is best known as the mad professor with the enormous sideburns in The Goodies. From 1970 to 1982 he and fellow Goodies Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie fought genetically modified clowns, saved London from giant kittens, started a pirate radio station/post office, studied Northern English martial arts and, of course, rode a three-seater bicycle (which was, the story goes, a deathtrap) from situation to surreal situation. Surely he's sick to death of talking about something that wound up over 25 years ago?
 
"No, not really," he amiably replies. "It's a kind of signature dish really, isn't it? It's what we're all known for and it's a thing we did for ten years and I guess more people were aware of us doing that than most other things that any three of us did - although Bill has very much been reinvented as a wildlife presenter. But yes, we've done tons of stuff over the years but what we've done hasn't been interfered with by The Goodies' reputation, and it's probably opened up a lot of doors for us too so we've got a lot to be thankful for."
 
Much has been made of the connection between the Goodies and the Monty Python team: Garden, Brooke-Taylor and Oddie met as members of Cambridge University's Footlights Theatre group, along with Python's John Cleese and Graham Chapman. In fact, Cleese, Chapman and Brooke-Taylor worked together on the 1967 sketch programme At Last the 1948 Show (which also featured appearances by Oddie and future Python Eric Idle) while Garden and Oddie were working on Twice a Fortnight with Michael Palin and Terry Jones. But while Python's Flying Circus series has been anthologised on DVD and even the surviving episodes of At Last the 1948 Show are available now, a comprehensive Goodies DVD set is yet to emerge.
 
"Well, there are three DVDs: two are the ones we picked from the BBC series which we liked to put out, like 80 shows altogether, and there is also the Complete London Weekend series that has just been released on DVD – but I suppose we didn't really want to release it series by series which a lot of programmes do, because a lot of the older ones we don't really want to go out all that much," he laughs. "I think it got into its stride around the third or possibly fourth series, when is when some of the best known ones were happening.
 
"We eventually latched onto the idea of one of us becoming the villain in most episodes: one week Tim would go mad and do something silly and then the next week I'd go mad and threaten to take over the world or whatever it was, and so the good thing about the threesome was that you end up with the conflict from two against one. So we felt that it was probably best to come out hitting strong with the best episodes rather than just doing series one, then series two."
 
Well, with 80-odd episodes, there'd come a time when the commentary tracks would get a bit exhausting...
 
"Absolutely!" he laughs. "We did do a few commentary tracks, but it was quite funny because in the first one we did was an episode where we're all set in a lighthouse – it was one where the filming budget had run out so it was all done in the studio – and clearly none of us can remember anything about the show at all. We're like three old pensioners watching it saying 'what's he doing that for? Is that him from before? Oh, that was funny.'"
 
For their Australian visit Garden and Brooke-Taylor will be carrying the Goodies flame, with Oddie represented on video. "Yes, he's not been too well again," Garden explains. "It's the depression thing that he's prey to. I spoke to him a week or two ago and he was doing better than he had been, but still not really up to taking on a trip, so he'll be there on video in clips doing his stuff. And we're all wishing him well and hoping he gets back on an even keel soon. It's something that seems to come now and again, and after it's gone he's okay, but it's tough."
 
Brightening, he adds, "Actually, what you were saying before, in the shows that we're doing for the festival we're hoping to not just do Goodies stuff but introduce people to some of the stuff we did before and after. So we've got stuff from At Last the 1948 Show that we're hoping to show – like the Four Yorkshireman sketch, which Tim wrote originally."
 
It's one of the all-time classic comedy sketches – but of course, everyone thinks it's a Monty Python sketch thanks to Live at the Hollywood Bowl.
 
"That's right."
 
Hopefully Tim gets royalties for it.
 
"Oh, eventually he did. It's a story," Garden replies, with an evil chuckle. "You need to talk to Tim about that. When we're out there you can pin him down. He'll certainly be happy to tell you."
 
Andrew P Street
 
 
WORLD'S FUNNIEST ISLAND
(Lisa Manekofsky – 11th Oct)
 
If you'll be attending any of The Goodies shows in Australia this week (either at the Riverside Theatres in Parramatta on October 15th or at the World's Funniest Island Festival on Cockatoo Island, Sydney on October 17th-18th we'd love to hear about them! Feel free to post in the www.goodiesruleok.com forums, to send a note to the Goodies-l mailing list, or to submit an article to the Clarion & Globe newsletter (by emailing clarion@goodiesruleok.com).
 
Passes are still available from the World's Funniest Island festival (http://www.worldsfunniestisland.com/). A one or two-day pass entitles you to all the festival shows - check out details on their website. The Goodies will be appearing four times over the weekend, on Saturday at 12:00 & 4:30 and on Sunday at 12:00 and 7:30.
 
It appears the show at the Riverside Theatre in Parramatta (http://www.riversideparramatta.com.au/performance.asp?pID=1013 ) may be sold out online. Tickets may still be available via the Box Office – book by phone at +61 2 8839 3399 or in person (they are open Monday-Friday 9.00am to 5.00pm, Saturday 9.30am to 1.00pm, and one hour prior to performance time)
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
*****************
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: groksite@gmail.com
Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
** (All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited) **
 
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* There is a review of the R4 DVD release of "Who Do You Think You Are" series 1 at: www.michaeldvd.com.au/Reviews/Reviews.asp?ID=8835
This series had the first episode with Bill Oddie and the review mentions him.
The DVD was released in R4 in 2008.
(Brian Labza – 21st Sep)
 
 
* Mon, 5 Oct - "Who Do You Think You Are?" on Blighty at various times is a repeat of the edition featuring Bill Oddie.
(29th Sep)
 
 
GRAEME & TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Thanks to Alison Bean for the news that http://www.retrosellers.com/  has a new interview with Graeme.
The article, which includes some great photos from throughout Graeme's career, can be reached directly at http://www.retrosellers.com/features190.htm  
(21st Sep)
 
 
* Tuesdays - "The Long Hot Satsuma" on BBC Radio 7 (www.bbc.co.uk/radio7 ) at 08:30 (repeated later in the day) is a repeat of the full eight-episode series from the late 1980's starring Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, and Alison Steadman. Each episode can be heard online at www.bbc.co.uk/radio7  and will be available for a week after broadcast from Listen Again.
(29th Sep)
 
 
* New series of "The Unbelievable Truth" and "One" start on BBC Radio 4 next week. Graeme will make appearances in both series. Below are blurbs about both series:
 
THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH
Six episodes starting Monday, 5 October
6.30-7.00pm BBC RADIO 4
David Mitchell hosts the fourth series of this acclaimed general knowledge-based comedy panel game, in which four comedians are encouraged to tell lies and compete against one another to see how many items of truth they are able to smuggle past their opponents.
Each panellist has to deliver a lecture on a given topic - for example Elizabeth I, Cats, The Human Body or Morris Dancing - which must be entirely untrue, except for five unlikely facts. The job of their opponents is to challenge if they think they've detected an element of truth.
Devised by Graeme Garden and Jon Naismith, the team behind BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the new series begins with a special recording from this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival featuring comedians Rhod Gilbert, Adam Hill, Shappi Khorsandi and Reginald D Hunter.
Presenter/David Mitchell, Producer/Jon Naismith
 
ONE
Six episodes starting Wednesday 7 October
11.00-11.15pm BBC RADIO 4
The sketch show in which each sketch features only one voice, returns for a new series.
The comedy features internal monologues, speeches, video diaries, messages, broadcasts, dictation - any form of solitary communication or monologue, with one voice only per sketch.
One is written and conceived by David Quantick with additional material by Graeme Garden, Dan Maier, Kevin Cecil, Johnny Daukes and Katie Maskell. It features the vocal talents of Deborah Norton, Lizzie Roper, Johnny Daukes, Dan Antopolski, Graeme Garden, Andrew Crawford, Alistair McGowan, Richard Bacon, Dan Maier and David Quantick.
Producer/Jon Naismith
(29th Sep)
 
 
* Mon, 5 Oct - "Would I Lie to You?" with Graeme on Dave at 22:40. Repeated at 01:00 the next morning.
(29th Sep)
 
 
* Thanks to Sosia for this info - "BBC Radio 7 are currently repeating the Doctor Who adventures which Graeme and Tim appeared in. Graeme's episode, Max Warp, is on this Friday 26th September at 6pm (repeated at midnight). Tim's episode, The Zygon Who Fell To Earth, is on Thursday 1st October, also at 6pm and midnight. Both will be available via the BBC iPlayer for 7 days following their broadcast"
Doctor Who - The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 2 - Max Warp (with Graeme).
Available from Listen Again through next Friday at 6:52pm London Time:
Also, "Beyond the Vortex - Full Throttle" (director of Max Warp talks about the episode):
(25th Sep)
 
 
* BBC Radio 7's repeat of "The Zygon Who Fell to Earth" (part of Doctor Who - The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 2) with Tim can be heard through next Thursday, 8 Oct at 6:52pm London time from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fn4b2/Doctor_Who_The_Eighth_Doctor_Adventures_Series_2_The_Zygon_Who_Fell_to_Earth/  
The related episode of "Beyond The Vortex", with the director talking about the Doctor Who episode, can be heard (also through next Thursday) from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fn4dd/Beyond_the_Vortex_Series_2_Trevor_of_the_Zygons/  
BBC Radio 7 will also repeat both shows tomorrow (Friday) morning at midnight. The broadcast can be heard online from www.bbc.co.uk/radio7
(1st Oct)
 
 
* Sat, 3 Oct - "What the Dickens" with Tim is repeated on Sky Arts 1 at 20:00 and other days throughout the week. This is probably part of a repeat of series 1; check your local listings for more details.
(29th Sep)
 
 
* Here's an interesting interview of Graeme from the Daily Mail's heath section (online at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1218381/Under-microscope-Comedian-Graeme-Garden.html  - this web page includes a recent photo of Graeme).
 
Under the microscope: Sex can't be that important or nuns would all be unhealthy, says Graeme Garden
Last updated at 10:22 AM on 06th October 2009
 
Comedian Graeme Garden, who made his name as one of the Goodies and more recently as a permanent member of BBC radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue panel, reveals his vices, ailments and the day he would like to re-live.
 
ANY VICES?
Until a few years ago, smoking and drinking. I used to smoke up to 40 a day and quit only because I was going to Australia and didn't know how I'd last the 24-hour flight. Giving up wasn't easy, but I got some patches and have never been tempted since.
Then, during a check-up, I had a heart rhythm condition diagnosed and was advised not to overdo it on the drink front, so I thought I might as well give up drinking, too. I pretty much stopped overnight and don't miss it.
 
POP ANY PILLS?
I take one of those 'everything in one' vitamin pills every day. No idea if it works.
 
ANY FAMILY AILMENTS?
My father had the same heart rhythm condition as me, and then had a stroke and died at 70. But medicine has come along a bit since those days. What's more, he didn't take an aspirin a day to thin the blood and reduce the chance of clotting, like we all do now.
 
IS SEX IMPORTANT?
It's certainly exercise. If you have a happy sex life, I'm sure it's good for you. But I don't think that monks and nuns are particularly unhealthy, are they?
 
EVER BEEN DEPRESSED? 
Not as such. Sure, there have been times when I've felt low, as we all have, and it's usually when I've had something to feel low about. The best recipe for getting out of those troughs is to do something that takes your mind off it. Fishing is therapeutic.
 
HAD ANYTHING REMOVED?
My left hip was replaced four years ago. It had been getting painful and was keeping me awake at night. It took a while before I could walk again, but I'm pleased with the result.
 
WORST ILLNESS?
Glandular fever, which I got badly as a student. It felt as if it was life-threatening, though it clearly wasn't. After a few weeks of bedrest and
painkillers, I was right as rain.  In fact, I was studying medicine at the time - I qualified as a doctor before going into showbusiness.
 
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT...
Oxygen springs to mind.
 
TRIED ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE?
I believe in alternative therapies that work, such as acupuncture – though I'm a bit sceptical about some of the reasons put forward as to why (for instance, that it's to do with secret channels of energy). But I don't like to rubbish alternative medicine too much, because believing is half the cure.
 
LIKE TO LIVE FOREVER?
If it meant getting older and more decrepit, the answer is 'No'. Similarly, staying at a certain age would get boring. The only deal I'd do with the devil would be to re-live the happiest day of my life. Perhaps my wedding day.
 
Graeme Garden regularly appears on the Radio 4 panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, which is currently on tour. For dates, visit www.isihac.net  
INTERVIEW: YORK MEMBERY
(6th Oct)
 
 
* Below are the Listen Again links for three Goodies-related shows that aired earlier this week. Please note that BBC iplayer radio shows are available for playback worldwide. To save myself some typing I did a cut & paste of the "available until" info; please note that these are all London time.
 
* The Long Hot Satsuma - Episode 7. This is a new to BBC Radio 7 episode of the 1989 sketch show featuring Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, and Alison Steadman.
Available until: 10:32pm Tuesday 13th October 2009
 
* The Unbelievable Truth - Series 4 - Episode 1. Graeme doesn't appear in this episode, but it does come from his production company (Random) and he'll turn up later in the series. I thought this was a particularly funny edition of the show (especially recommended to fans of "Top Cat", though you'll have to tune in to find out why... ;)
Available until: 7:02pm Monday 12th October 2009
 
* One - Series 3 - Episode 1
Available until: 11:17pm Wednesday 14th October 2009
(8th Oct)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* In the Sunday Herald/Sun magazine in late August, there was a full page article advertising dvds for Father’s Day and one of them was the I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue: Live on Stage disc.
The blurb accompanying the dvd read as follows … 36 years in the making! After an unbroken run since 1972 on BBC Radio 4, here at least is your chance to see the legendary radio show, recorded in full vision, in front of a live audience. Special Features include specially shot interviews with the regulars.
The advertisement doesn’t specify which dvd retailers might stock this dvd; it only says you can buy it from leading dvd retailers.
(Amanda Stokes – 15th Sep)
 
 
* A quote from Humphrey Lyttelton is to appear in the new edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. The quote is: "As we journey through life, discarding baggage along the way, we should keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. It preserves the soul from desiccation".
(15th Sep)
 
 
* Tuesdays - "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" repeats on ABC Radio National at 5:30 (http://www.abc.net.au/rn/comedy/ )
(29th Sep)
 
 
* Tuesdays - "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on RTE Choice at 08:00. Also on Sundays at 09:30.
(29th Sep)
 
 
* ISIHAC has ranked highly in an influential viewers' group poll. Further information can be found at:
(9th Oct)
 
 
ISIHAC Tour Publicity & Reviews
 
* An interview with Graeme, to promote the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Official Stage Tour, appeared in yesterday's edition of the Liverpool Daily Post. The article can be found online at http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-life-features/liverpool-arts/2009/09/14/i-m-sorry-i-haven-t-a-clue-comes-to-southport-theatre-92534-24680192/  
(15th Sep)
 
 
There's a brief review of the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue stage show at the Portsmouth Guildhall at http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/entertainment/I39m-Sorry-I-Haven39t-A.5666866.jp.  
It does contain some spoilers. (A list of other upcoming dates can be found at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=13 )
(22nd Sep)
 
 
* Thanks to Jenny_Gibbon for the following, which she posted in the www.goodiesruleok.com forums:
Graeme's interview on Radio Devon on the judie spiers show was on today. It's a good listen!   Here's a link to it: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p004fny4/Judi_Spiers_Show_24_09_2009/  
The interview is at around the 1.24 mark,and there's a good mention at the
beginning. 
(25th Sep)
 
 
* The Guardian's Comedy Preview: I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, on tour, can be found at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2009/sep/26/sorry-havent-clue-tour
(26th Sep)
 
 
(30th Sep)
 
 
* Here are the links to two articles from This is South Devon.co.uk about the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Stage Tour show at the Princess Theatre in Torquay: http://www.thisissouthdevon.co.uk/entertainment/Unmissable-inspired-nonsense/article-1387891-detail/article.html  
and
(6th Oct)
 
(6th Oct)
 
 
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #41 – I WISH I COULD GET HIGH
*****************************************************
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.
 
WHO?
 
When we last left our intrepid musos Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay), they were both in fully-blown, white knuckle-inducing, sheer unadulterated panic mode … so what's new about that, you may well ask! We've been trying to get a few words of sense out of them (still no luck after 40 music reviews thus far!) but all that we can decipher to date is "Tony … Parsons … Mary … Osmond … Oliver … Blackburn … Rolf … Reed … Nicholas ... Whitehouse … Donny … Harris." Guess those dozen words in a different order would frighten the clappers out of any self-respecting Goodies fan, come to think of it! However help is at hand as we've found a most effective way to calm down our jittery jukebox jockeys (without resorting to a Max … Doonican or Val … Bygraves record either for that matter!) so we can now tune in and drop out to our dazed DJs and their music review of "I WISH I COULD GET HIGH" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
"I Wish I Could Get High" can be only heard on the 70s album "Nothing To Do With Us"
 
WHAT?
 
Lyrics: sung by Bill
 
I like to rock and roll, the music's in my soul
I love to join the boys in the band
I can rip off licks like Jimi Hendrix
And I can blow 'em all off the stands
 
But there ain't no way, no matter how I play
They let me be what I want to be
'Coz when they pass that stuff, I huff and puff
But it don't do nothin' for me
 
I wish, I wish, I wish, I could get high, high, high
I can't do it (ohhh!) although I try, try, try
No matter what I roll, I still can't lose control
Oh why, oh why, can't I get high?
 
I snort and sniff every grain and whiff
Of every kind of stuff that you know
I smoke marijuana and old bananas
Mixed up with some brew
 
I can chew it, I can chew it, but no matter how I do it
I can't get out of my skull
It isn't fair, I'm still aware
Lord I feel so dull
 
I wish, I wish, I wish, I could get high, high, high
I can't do it (ohhh!) although I try, try, try
No matter what I've used, I just don't get confused
Oh why, oh why, can't I get high?
 
[Instrumental break with sizzling electric guitar. Bill (marvelling at the sound): "Wow man, hey, to play like that, you gotta be out of your head!" Graeme: "No no no, I just practice a lot actually!"]
 
I'm so despised, I've been ostracised, I've even advertised in Time Out
Is there anyone who can turn me on, show me what it's all about
Well a guy came to me, said he'd guarantee, he could funk me up in a week
Well he did his best, but now I'm all depressed, 'coz he made me feel some kinda freak!
 
I wish, I wish, I wish, I could get high, high, high
I can't do it (ohhh!) although I try, try, try
Why can't I take that trip, so folks will say I'm hip?
Oh why, oh why, can't I get high, high, high …
 
I wish, I wish, I wish, I could get high, high, high
I can't do it (ohhh!) although I try, try, try
I tried sniffing coke … but the bubbles get up my nose!
Oh why, oh why, can't I get high
 
Hey man, don't give me none of that sh*t. Gimme some of *that* sh*t!
 
WHY?
 
(Peaches Stiletto):
While some might mistakenly think this song is about altitude envy, it's actually all about hallucinogenic envy. What happens to a poor marijuana-be rock n' roller who can't join his band mates in a little doobie action? He's on a whole different level of consciousness, which makes joint negotiations a bit difficult. Networking is everything in the speedy world of music, and without those connections to hookah you up, your time is wasted. This guy doesn't want to blow it, but when he does blow it, nothing happens! It's snort a pleasant thing to feel so left out. He's has no choice . . . turn on, tune in or drop out of the band! What's a straight-head to do? But he's no dope. He's going to bong out every possibility and smoke out every option until he's stoked or croaked. Weed love to see him succeed before he his career totally goes to pot. Every career has its uppers and downers, but this poor guy really needs to hash out this situation or his career will be left in the angel dust. And that's no coke.
 
 
(Emperor Caligula):
Even though Bill has proven himself to be an expert at hitting the high notes in Goodies songs such as "Nappy Love", it's his inability to hit a different kind of high when with his band roadies that provides the frustration that this song smacks of. Now Bill's no dope when it comes to writing great comedy songs, so when he starts taking pot shots at the rock 'n roll drug culture of his era, we can be sure he's right up to speed on the subject. Although exhorting the Goodies to "take a trip to paradise" in the show's theme song, Bill probably figures that the only way for him to hit the ultimate high would have been to find himself a new band hooch could show him the light … and the green or purple haze that rises up from it. A band such as Peter, Paul and Mary-Juana who sang of "Puff The Magic Draggin'" perhaps … or in later years a joint venture with the Fine Young Cannabis singing "She Drives Me Wacky (Baccy)" (I trust that their other hit wasn't called "Goodies Thing" by any chance?!) Now well may you snort and sniff, but Bill actually had the material for the ultimate high clasped right in his grubby little mitts in any number of early Goodies episodes, perhaps without ever fully realising its potential. The lurid psychedelic visions, the scantily clad women, the Top Of The Pops fantasies … Lemon Sherbet Delusions … now just think about those initials for a second, then take a little good advice from Bill and "suck it and see!". Hey, it's whatever turns you on … and the thunderous guitar rhythm and cheeky lyrics of this seldom-heard song are a pretty cool buzz, man!
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Rating System:
IIII Officially Amazing (Peaches Stiletto)
IIIII Superstar (Emperor Caligula)
 
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
 
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially Amazing.
III   - Goody Goody Yum Yum.
II    - Fair-y Punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' Pikelets.
 
 
6. GOODIES WORD FINDER
**********************
(by Brett Allender)
 
This puzzle contains hidden words and phrases relating to The Goodies episode "Saturday Night Grease".
 
Try to find all the listed words in the puzzle. Words may be found horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. Upon completion, the 15 unused letters can be rearranged to form a solution of two words (9 and 6 letters) from this episode - clue: "An essential requirement for being allowed entry to Disco Bilius"
 
There is a print-friendly copy of the puzzle on the website at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=92&page=9  and the solution is on a separate page accessible from the menu.
The solution will also be published in next month's newsletter.
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C

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WORD LIST
 
Ball and Chain
Bandy
Bilius
Brylcreem
Can Can
Cane
Carrot
Club
Cycling
Dance
Disco
Edna
Fred
Gimmick
Ginger
Grease
Heave
Hula
Hustle
Judges
Key
Livvy
Mixed
Night Fever
Plug
Pogo Tap
Police
Pot
Robin Yad
Rod Stewart
Rubbish Bins
Snogging
Sock
Stayin'
Tails
Taps
Trollop
Twist
Waltz
Wig
Zip
 
 
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
***********************
 
(a) Tim
(b) Because he has been trapped in a concrete block for more than 70 years
(c) The End
(d) Sick people
(e) Hand puppets of Sooty
(f) Old monia
(g) Tim
(h) An ancient Egyptian mummy
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Mastermind Of The Year
7    Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Goody Goody effort
1-2 Time to watch some more episodes
0    Are you sure you're not Rolf Harris?!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #168:    12th November 2009.
 
UPCOMING ARTICLES:
- Nov / Dec: A Collection Of Goodies Themes – Goodies live music in episodes
- Dec / Jan: Goodies Music Review – Melody Farm
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
Updated to C&G 162 (May 2009)
 
*******************************************************************************
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2009. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN WORD DOCUMENT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the Word mailing list.
******************************************************************************
 
 



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